Mom Barely Allows Her 9 Y.O. Attend A Sleepover, Loses It Over ‘Birthday Drinks’ She Was Served
Kids nowadays seem to be maturing and growing up way faster than previous generations. 8-year-olds today are seen in Sephora replenishing their 5-step skincare routines, selling out Stanley cups, and dressing like teenagers all over social media. Sure, most of us wanted to act like adults when we were kids but many parents are worried that children these days are taking it to another level.
One mom recently shared her worries about her child being adultified at a sleepover where the kids were served cocktail-looking drinks. She desperately wanted her child to cherish her childhood instead of rushing into adulthood. However, her anxieties were met with commenters who told her that she was being quite uptight.
It can be bittersweet watching your child grow up
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This mom wanted her kid to enjoy childhood as long as possible, so when she saw her being “adultified,” she freaked out
Image credits: Thirdman / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Calpi
Image credits: Elias Suarez / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Kids are getting older younger
There’s even a term for kids growing up faster than they did before. “KGOY,” or “kids getting older younger” means they are becoming more savvy than their descendants.
This might be caused by the fact that, on average, parents provide their children with a smartphone at the age of 10, opening them to unlimited news, social media, and other freedoms that were previously inaccessible to kids and reserved for adults. By having such privileges, children are in a way forced into digital pressures that require emotional maturity to navigate. Meanwhile, previous generations enjoyed a childhood free from rules, oversight, and everything else that comes with the Internet and social media.
Marketing often takes advantage of kids having better awareness of social media and brands so they advertise products to them instead of their parents. This worsens the problem, as children are more tempted to buy the latest skin care products or Stanley cups to stick to modern beauty ideals or avoid experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out).
However, if they are truly maturing and not just becoming more intellectually savvy is a matter of perspective. Gen Z was found to finish education, leave home, drink alcohol, and drive later than their descendants, making some believe that kids are, in fact, maturing more slowly.
Experts point out that it might be difficult to measure the idea of growing up in a social and cultural context, as there are so many aspects that make up childhood that it’s almost impossible to pinpoint one thing that could be a primary influence on the speed at which children mature.
Evidence also suggests that adults tend to idealize their childhoods, which might skew their view of children today. So it’s a possibility that people who say that kids nowadays are growing up faster may be just comparing themselves to their own nostalgic years, which doesn’t accurately represent reality.
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Children’s exposure to information has changed
Shelley Pasnik, senior vice president and director of the Center for Children and Technology, admits that what has truly changed is children’s exposure to information. Now they’re constantly being fed “media-delivered ideas” (online content that is intended for adults) and being exposed to them much sooner.
“There is increased exposure to violent or sexual content at a younger age, which causes a desensitisation and normalisation, because children’s brains aren’t fully developed to process this in a way that an adult brain can,” says child psychiatrist Dr. Willough Jenkins. “Of course, part of the exposure is to other people, too. Children can communicate with strangers without supervision, which leads to an increased risk of cyberbullying or adult conversations that they are not equipped to handle.”
This can lead to kids facing adult realities before they are ready for them, which can be interpreted as growing up too quickly. On the other hand, intense modern parental involvement in children’s lives is making their environments more controlled and secure, which can slow down their maturing.
So it’s truly a double-edged sword. Viewed one way we could say that children are being kept younger by their parents, who shield them more than in previous generations. Viewed another way, kids might just be exhibiting how maturing looks in today’s society.
Therefore, in a way, it’s both important and not to protect the childhood of kids. If a child comes into contact with something they might not be knowledgeable about yet, it might have negative consequences for them. But if parents shield their kids from everything that might have the potential to harm them, they might be encouraged to slow down in their growing-up process. Good parenting means that caregivers should know when they should step in and protect their children and when to do otherwise.
The mom added a comment to explain
Some readers thought the mom was being unreasonable
While others saw where she was coming from
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This woman needs to learn the difference between adultifying children and children just pretending to be like adults they see as mimicking.
Which is EXTREMELY age-appropriate for a 9yo!
Load More Replies...The Shirley Temple was named after... Guess Who! It was originally ginger ale, but is now usually lemon lime soda, with grenadine, lime, and cherries. Why? For children to drink when they were with their parents in a bar. Shirley Temple tasted the drink, and found it too sweet.
I mean, rhe chocolate cigarettes when I was little was questionable. But fancy lemonade in fancy glasses? We all drink water to survive, not all liquids are alcohol. 👍
Load More Replies...The whole thing about the fizzy drinks aside, it struck me as weird that OP thought 9 was too young to have a sleepover. Nine doesn't strike me as an odd age to have a sleepover *at all*.
It's the perfect age. Next, we are going to read about people who think their kids are too tall to play basketball.
Load More Replies...“You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means”
Load More Replies...I get that the expensive skincare and other things mentioned aren't okay for a 9yo. There's actually been some concern among pediatricians and child psychologists about the effects of preteen girls using things like anti-aging creams. But non-alcoholic mocktails at a birthday sleepover has been a thing for forever. I remember going to one in the 90s where we got to have piña coladas and strawberry daiquiris and even my very fundamentalist Christian parents who viewed alcohol consumption as a sin didn't care.
I love Pina coladas, I'm still technically a child and I actually had a non alcoholic one once and it was a m a z i n g even my Christian grandmother thought it was ok
Load More Replies...Is it not common anymore that children copy adult behaviour in their playtime? Like playing family or pretending to smoke a chocolate stick or having a fancy tea party? Wearing adults' clothes and nail polish just for fun? So drinking from fancy (plastic) glasses is just a game here as long as there is no alcohol present.
When I was a kid I pretended to smoke pretzel sticks, and on occasion my parents would let us drink soda out of wine glasses (usually if they were having wine). It's fun when you're a kid to pretend to do adult things. Drinking out of a fancy glass makes you feel classy and special. The skincare stuff is definitely insane but mom needs to chill about the drinks.
I’m 63 now, but when I was a child, starting about when I was six-ish, I had my very first Shirley Temple at a really nice restaurant my parents and I went to. They had their cocktails and I had mine. The same bartender mixed all the drinks. At family weddings, I would get one small sip of champagne for the toast. I didn’t like it back then, and even now there are only a couple brands that taste good to me—-and they’re too expensive to drink all that often—-so there was no chance I’d want more. It’s a birthday party. I went to plenty of them, a lot of which were a combination birthday party/sleepover (not coed, because back then girls still thought boys were gross at that age), and by the time I was 10, I had been to several where we had a blast experimenting with makeup and hairstyles (no cutting, just styling). The host Mom always supervised, and gave us lessons in how to put on makeup and do hair. It was fun. Then we washed our faces and brushed our hair out, got in our pajamas, and set out our sleeping bags on the floor. Let the kids play pretend that they’re adults toasting the birthday girl with champagne, ffs. It’s not like they’re going to then proceed to raid the parents’ liquor cabinet and chug down all the bottles of booze in it.
This woman needs to learn the difference between adultifying children and children just pretending to be like adults they see as mimicking.
Which is EXTREMELY age-appropriate for a 9yo!
Load More Replies...The Shirley Temple was named after... Guess Who! It was originally ginger ale, but is now usually lemon lime soda, with grenadine, lime, and cherries. Why? For children to drink when they were with their parents in a bar. Shirley Temple tasted the drink, and found it too sweet.
I mean, rhe chocolate cigarettes when I was little was questionable. But fancy lemonade in fancy glasses? We all drink water to survive, not all liquids are alcohol. 👍
Load More Replies...The whole thing about the fizzy drinks aside, it struck me as weird that OP thought 9 was too young to have a sleepover. Nine doesn't strike me as an odd age to have a sleepover *at all*.
It's the perfect age. Next, we are going to read about people who think their kids are too tall to play basketball.
Load More Replies...“You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means”
Load More Replies...I get that the expensive skincare and other things mentioned aren't okay for a 9yo. There's actually been some concern among pediatricians and child psychologists about the effects of preteen girls using things like anti-aging creams. But non-alcoholic mocktails at a birthday sleepover has been a thing for forever. I remember going to one in the 90s where we got to have piña coladas and strawberry daiquiris and even my very fundamentalist Christian parents who viewed alcohol consumption as a sin didn't care.
I love Pina coladas, I'm still technically a child and I actually had a non alcoholic one once and it was a m a z i n g even my Christian grandmother thought it was ok
Load More Replies...Is it not common anymore that children copy adult behaviour in their playtime? Like playing family or pretending to smoke a chocolate stick or having a fancy tea party? Wearing adults' clothes and nail polish just for fun? So drinking from fancy (plastic) glasses is just a game here as long as there is no alcohol present.
When I was a kid I pretended to smoke pretzel sticks, and on occasion my parents would let us drink soda out of wine glasses (usually if they were having wine). It's fun when you're a kid to pretend to do adult things. Drinking out of a fancy glass makes you feel classy and special. The skincare stuff is definitely insane but mom needs to chill about the drinks.
I’m 63 now, but when I was a child, starting about when I was six-ish, I had my very first Shirley Temple at a really nice restaurant my parents and I went to. They had their cocktails and I had mine. The same bartender mixed all the drinks. At family weddings, I would get one small sip of champagne for the toast. I didn’t like it back then, and even now there are only a couple brands that taste good to me—-and they’re too expensive to drink all that often—-so there was no chance I’d want more. It’s a birthday party. I went to plenty of them, a lot of which were a combination birthday party/sleepover (not coed, because back then girls still thought boys were gross at that age), and by the time I was 10, I had been to several where we had a blast experimenting with makeup and hairstyles (no cutting, just styling). The host Mom always supervised, and gave us lessons in how to put on makeup and do hair. It was fun. Then we washed our faces and brushed our hair out, got in our pajamas, and set out our sleeping bags on the floor. Let the kids play pretend that they’re adults toasting the birthday girl with champagne, ffs. It’s not like they’re going to then proceed to raid the parents’ liquor cabinet and chug down all the bottles of booze in it.


































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