Mom Shares What She Does So Her 12-Year-Old Daughter Won’t Get Bullied
It can be easy to forget just how merciless and cruel kids can be when it comes to bullying. Every difference might be mocked, putting every child who doesn’t completely conform to some imagined norm in the crosshairs of a few abusers. Fortunately, many parents are waking up to these dangers.
One mom went viral on TikTok for sharing how she shaves her daughter’s eyebrows and upper lip hair after being bullied over it as a child. Viewers quickly resonated with her solid parenting skills and the good conversations she had with her child about bullying.
Bored Panda has reached out to Vidya Gopalan for comment by email.
Kids will bully their peers over the most minor details
Image credits: queencitytrends
A mom helped her daughter shave her eyebrows and upper lip to make sure other kids don’t make fun of her
Image credits: queencitytrends
Mother: I remember getting made fun of when I was your age.
Daughter: Why didn’t you do the same?
Mother: Because my mom wouldn’t let me.
Image credits: queencitytrends
Image credits: queencitytrends
You can watch the full video here (1/3)
@queencitytrends Most gorgeous brows EVER #browngirl #browntiktok #momsover30 #momsbelike #momlife #momanddaughter #momtok #confidence ♬ Confident – Demi Lovato
Image credits: queencitytrends
Mother: Why do you hate haircuts?
Daughter: I look older with my hair like this.
Image credits: queencitytrends
Mother: If someone were to say something like not nice, what would you do?
Daughter: I would go away from them and say I don’t want to be your friend, or I could just say it back to them.
Mother: When they go low, you go high.
Daughter: Oh, I like that!
Image credits: queencitytrends
You can watch the full video here (2/3)
@queencitytrends Thank you Michelle Obama 😉 #browngirl #browntiktok #momsover30 #momtok #momanddaughter #tweensoftiktok #myfamily ♬ Golden Hour: Piano Version – Andy Morris
Image credits: queencitytrends
Image credits: queencitytrends
Image credits: queencitytrends
You can watch the full video here (3/3)
@queencitytrends Bullies, Hair Growth & Brown Girl Approved Sunscreen #browngirl #browntiktok #momtok #momsoftiktok #myfamily #kidsoftiktok #tweensbelike #summertime ♬ original sound – Vidya
Physical differences are a common target for bullies
Research shows that while the characteristics of bullying victims might differ based on the age and gender groups involved, the mother in the video is correct that specific physical differences are often enough. While there are “obvious” physical differences that are stereotypically associated with being bullied, i.e. being overweight and wearing glasses, for example, it’s important to note that if a person wants to be a bully, they will find a reason.
This is particularly cruel, as the victims tend to develop particularly low self-esteem and often end up with body-related issues for the parts of themselves that they were bullied for. While from a distance, it might seem absurd, as often enough, the features being mocked are both common and natural, but children, in particular, are vulnerable, as they do not have a frame of reference to process the attacks.
The mom in the TikTok video does a good job of identifying this and also makes sure to educate her daughter on why. Bushy eyebrows are incredibly common, not just among Indians, yet are still a common target for abuse. The abundance of eyebrow care equipment available in stores should be a good indicator that this feature can be found almost anywhere, although a child can be forgiven for not knowing. Similarly, upper lip hair is found among basically all humans, yet is only acceptable, in some cases, for men.
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Victims often suffer from various disorders later in life as a result of being bullied
The mom also does an excellent job of explaining why they are going through all of these cosmetic procedures, despite the fact that hair on the body is normal. This is vital, as it both educates a child, which is a big part of good parenting, and explains to her why they are taking certain actions. The lesson shouldn’t be “give in to a bully’s demands at all costs,” but the mother has experience with specific traits being mocked.
While, ideally, bullying should be prevented at the source, there is no harm in taking precautions, particularly when they come from real-life experience. Victims of bullying are more likely to deal with eating disorders, anxiety, body dysmorphia, and a whole host of other psychological ailments. It’s probably a lot easier to simply trim some eyebrows as a bit of mother-daughter bonding than risk any and all of these issues in the future.
There still are some old-fashioned beliefs that the best way to stop bullying is to become “immune,” meaning that kids should be left to deal with bullies themselves. While it’s true that both being a bully and a victim are both correlated with poorer social skills, it’s incredibly short-sighted to expect literal children to be able to process what is happening, protect themselves, and formulate a defense all on their own. If a young girl is being bullied over the hair on her upper lip, how exactly is she supposed to understand that this is normal and internalize that effectively? Ultimately, researchers believe that good conflict resolution skills are not the same as the skills needed to counteract bullying, so kids do need to be protected whenever possible.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Viewers shared their appreciation for how this mom was protecting her child
Finally someone who agrees that it's just as normal to have hair as it is to want to remove it. Without blaming it on society and gender norms. I just like shaving for my own sake and not some sort of built in misogyny it's a personal preference. This mom is handling it in the exact right way
Now instead of just friends and classmates seeing this, the entire internet can give her attention. Lord, save these poor children from their narcissistic parents. This post should be removed for a) exploiting a child and b) being an awful tiktok.
Finally someone who agrees that it's just as normal to have hair as it is to want to remove it. Without blaming it on society and gender norms. I just like shaving for my own sake and not some sort of built in misogyny it's a personal preference. This mom is handling it in the exact right way
Now instead of just friends and classmates seeing this, the entire internet can give her attention. Lord, save these poor children from their narcissistic parents. This post should be removed for a) exploiting a child and b) being an awful tiktok.
46
29