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Mom Asks For Help With 3 AM Pickups For Teens After Clubbing, Gets A Reality Check
Mom Asks For Help With 3 AM Pickups For Teens After Clubbing, Gets A Reality Check
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Mom Asks For Help With 3 AM Pickups For Teens After Clubbing, Gets A Reality Check

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Having access to reliable transportation is a big deal for teenagers. Many people living in larger cities take it for granted. However, if you live in a smaller town and don’t have your driver’s license, there’s no public transport running late at night, and there are no taxis or Ubers around, you pretty much have to get creative. You might end up relying on your or your friends’ parents to get around.

One anonymous mom, user Bringmetolife, asked the friendly Mumsnet online community for some impartial advice about a disagreement she and some other parents had. She shared how one mom kept picking up their teenagers late at night on weekends while they were out partying, but finally had enough. Now, the author said she’s unwilling to do the same because of how exhausting and inconvenient it is. So, she asked for the internet’s verdict. You’ll find the full story below. Bored Panda has reached out to Bringmetolife for further comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

RELATED:

    It’s natural for parents to want to keep their children safe. So, they might choose to drive them to and from parties by car

    A mom driving at night, focused and concerned, city lights glowing in the background.

    Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

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    A mom asked the net whether she was unreasonable for not wanting to get up at night to pick up her daughter and her friends after they finish partying

    Text discussing a mom's dilemma about not picking up teens at 3AM after clubbing.

    Text about mom refusing to pick up teens at 3 AM after clubbing, discussing petrol money issue.

    Text discussing gift card for a restaurant and lack of Uber service with expensive taxi fares.

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    Text conversation about mom refusing late-night pick-up from club, discusses safety and planning weekend activities.

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    Text image with a mom refusing to pick up teens at 3AM after clubbing, citing disruption to her Saturday night plans.

    Text from a mom discussing not picking up teens at 3AM after clubbing, suggesting arranging a taxi instead.

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    Text discussing a mom's refusal to pick up teens at 3am after clubbing, mentioning challenges among parents.

    Stressed mom on couch, holding phone, refusing to pick up teens after clubbing.

    Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

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    Text conversation about the mom refusing to pick up teens at 3AM after clubbing, mentioning taxi costs.

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    Text expressing regret over not sharing responsibilities after clubbing.

    Text advocating teens book taxis and take responsibility after clubbing at 3 AM.

    Image source: bringmetolife

    The mom later shared a little bit more context about everything

    Forum post about teens in second year of A levels, aged eighteen, missing info.

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    Discussion on teens clubbing, budgeting, and drinking habits at home.

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    Discussion about safety concerns for teens clubbing and using taxis at 3AM.

    Being picked up might be convenient for the teenagers, but the adults are the ones sacrificing their rest and time

    Parent lying in bed using a phone, potentially discussing teen clubbing pickup plans.

    Image credits: Shane (not the actual photo)

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    No matter the problem, there are always different ways to solve it. On the record, safety is a major concern if your teenagers go out and stay out until late at night. So, naturally, many parents want to make sure that their kids are safe and get back home in one piece.

    That instinct to keep them safe is what drives them to, well, drive long distances in the middle of the night to pick the teens up and then chauffeur them home. If you ever went partying in high school or university, it’s likely that your or your friends’ parents have driven you back at some point.

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    It’s convenient, safer, and cheaper for the teens. However, there are some downsides, too. Namely, that all of that convenience and cheapness comes at the cost of one determined parent’s time and energy.

    Getting up in the middle of the night isn’t something that many people are willing to do after a long, grueling week at work. Of course, having a family means making sacrifices. But if you constantly mess up your sleep, you’ll get less rest, have less energy, you’ll concentrate worse, and your work and relationships will suffer.

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    So, it’s probably better to pay a bit more for pricy taxis than to constantly sacrifice good sleep and your health. Not only that, but parents can use this opportunity to encourage their kids to be more independent and responsible.

    For instance, if the teens plan to go partying, they could pay for the cabs back home themselves. Or they could encourage some of the teenagers to get their driver’s license, so that one of them could be the designated driver for the rest of the group. Of course, there should be absolutely no getting behind the wheel whatsoever if the person has consumed any alcohol. And remember, you don’t need to drink to have fun.

    Sleep deprivation is a very serious problem that affects your physical and mental health

    Woman yawning, covering mouth with hand, symbolizing tiredness after late-night event.

    Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

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    According to the Cleveland Clinic, missing even as little as 1.5 hours of sleep can impact how you feel. This can cause one to develop short-term problems, from a lack of alertness and moodiness to memory problems, and an inability or unwillingness to participate in normal daily activities.

    “During periods of sleeplessness, hidden health hazards accumulate that can’t be covered up with concealer or reversed with caffeine. Everything from your cardiovascular system to your immune system feels the impact,” sleep medicine specialist Dr. Nancy Foldvary-Schaefer explains.

    Poor sleep means more fatigue, while chronic sleeplessness can lead to mood disorders like depression or anxiety. If you don’t sleep properly, you’re more forgetful, your reaction times suffer, and you can even get blurred vision. You need around 7 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night, but this number can be greater or smaller depending on the individual. As per Dr. Foldvary-Schaefer, deep sleep allows your brain to clear the toxins that accumulate during your waking hours. Failing to do that can lead to neurodegenerative diseases. One example of this is Alzheimer’s.

    On top of all of that, not getting enough sleep means that you’re negatively impacting your immune system, making you more susceptible to falling ill, as well as increasing your recovery time. Meanwhile, you’re also more at risk of developing cardiovascular disease, hormonal issues, and generally being more stressed.

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    The proverbial cherry (of doom) on top? Sleep deprivation and exhaustion increase your risk of getting into car accidents. Referring to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration report, the Cleveland Clinic notes that driving after 20 hours of sleep is like driving with a blood alcohol content of 0.08% (that’s the legal limit in many US states). Drowsy driving leads to thousands of crashes every year.

    What’s your take on the entire situation, dear Pandas? Would you be willing to consistently get up in the middle of the night to bring back your kids and their friends from a club? How would you balance safety and convenience? How do you stay safe on the road at night? Let us know in the comments.

    Here’s how the internet reacted to the story. Many readers thought the mom wasn’t being unreasonable, and they called out the teenagers

    Text exchange about teens clubbing until 3AM and getting home independently.

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    Text screenshot discussing teens and parental decisions regarding late-night pickups.

    Forum post suggesting shared taxi cost for teens after clubbing.

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    Comment on responsibility: Adults must plan their way home after clubbing.

    Text discussing reasonable solutions for teens returning from clubbing late at night.

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    Comment discussing mom's refusal to pick up teens after clubbing.

    Comment discusses a mom refusing to pick up teens after clubbing, emphasizing responsibility and planning ahead.

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    Text discussing refusal to pick up teens after clubbing at 3AM, suggesting they manage their own transport like adults.

    Comment about refusing to pay for teens' taxi after clubbing.

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    Comment on refusing to pick up teens at 3AM after clubbing, suggesting taking a cab or staying in a hotel.

    Discussion on responsibilities of picking up teens after clubbing.

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    Text exchange about teens needing transport after clubbing, suggesting they act like adults.

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    Text expressing reluctance to be picked up by a parent after a night out, shared by user SleeplessInWherever.

    Text discussing a mom's refusal to pick up teens from clubbing at 3 AM, emphasizing independence and planning.

    Text comment supporting mom refusing to pick up teens at 3AM after clubbing.

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    Text on a forum comment discussing teens' responsibility for getting home after clubbing.

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    Text discussing a mom's refusal to pick up teens at 3AM after clubbing.

    Text message suggesting teens take a taxi after clubbing instead of relying on mom for a 3AM pickup.

    Text exchange about a mom refusing to pick up teens after clubbing at 3AM.

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    A few parents said that they’d pick up the kids just for the element of safety

    Comment discussing teen safety and clubbing pickup arrangement at 3AM.

    Text exchange about mom considering picking up teens after clubbing for driving practice.

    Comment discussing the logistics of picking up teens after clubbing at 3AM.

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    Comment discussing taking turns for picking up teens after clubbing.

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    Text discussing teens taking taxis after clubbing and a preference for pre-booked transportation.

    Text exchange discussing responsible pickup of teens after clubbing, highlighting concerns about safety at 3AM.

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    Poll Question

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    What do you think ?
    Bailey
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you are old enough to go to clubs, you are old enough to take responsibility for getting home. A £60 taxi split between 4 for a night out is not an extreme expense to factor into planning.

    Weltschmerz
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going out clubbing at the age of 16 and had to get taxis or buses at that age sometimes on my own into our city which is 5 1/2 miles away. 18 is definitely old enough to be sorting yourself out!

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    My O My
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why don't the girls take rotas of being the drivers. You know, they you do it. One stays sober and is the driver for this night.

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    Tamra
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like a lot of nonsense. Maybe the young women can cut back the partying to one weekend per month, and save up money for a taxi. If they're old enough to go out drinking, they need to learn the responsibility/cost of getting where they need to go safely. Also, do these women only have one parent each? Where are the fathers?

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given they weren’t mentioned or even hinted at, I’d say it’s safe to say the fathers have nothing to do with this, either because they’re not in the picture or because they’re smart, thinking the kids need to work this out on their own.

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    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whole thing is ridiculous. The girls don't NEED to go clubbing at all. And if they're old enough to drink they're old enough to arrange a ride.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make it a condition of going out that they have a pre-booked and pre-paid cab organised. If they're old enough to drink, they're old enough to pay for a cab. Having parents pick you up at 3 am is an emergency measure only. You want them to be getting in the habit of planning and budgeting for their own safety and transport in advance, while they're still living at home. If they go off to uni, and all of a sudden a night out is costing £15 more, it's easy for them to think "well, can't afford that everytime" and put themselves at risk. Establish good habits while you still have the chance to influence them.

    Marianne
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would definitely pick up my child in an emergency at any time. However, a taxi company where all the drivers are personally known to the family really seems safe enough. I wouldn't want to spend the night driving around when there is a reasonable other option available.

    Nadine Debard
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I 've been the daughter and my friend's mom did the pickup (the alternative was that we came back walking, it was only 5 km but not a safe place to be at night). My parents didn't take turns for whatever reason, but I am still thankful to that mom. We didn't consider taxi because, you know, a girl at night alone with a man. But we went clubbing maximum every other month, not twice a month! Where do they find the money? I think the girls should take responsibility, stop abusing of the parents time and sleep and find a way to go out a bit less. It would be much more acceptable for the other moms (and dads!).

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Walking alone seems more dangerous than being in a car with a man. The same man could stop on the road. Why wouldn't you all go together and stay at one place?

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    Sarah Jan Kelly
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have NEVER expected my parents or friends’ parents to facilitate my clubbing. Honestly would have been mortified for any of them to see me after a night of drinking—very much a “don’t ask don’t tell” kind of situation. If you are old enough to go out partying you are old enough to not need your parents to facilitate it. If the parents don’t think sharing a taxi is safe at 3 am, how do they think being in the club is safe?! Isn’t being drugged and SA’d more of a risk in the club than in a taxi?

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have arranged our own transport in all my teenage years. We either used the bus, or (later) had a driver organized. When we had neither WE paid for taxis. Guess the girls will have to work 2 hours extra for the taxi.

    Lace Neil
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in my youthful days of going out and getting drunk, I'd either stick to my local pub or get a taxi. Both my parents worked and would have hit the roof if I'd asked them to collect me at 3am! If I didn't have enough money for a cab, I'd stay at a friend's house.

    Bean Driller
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so unreal. These kids can take turns being the designated driver. Be responsible adults. I have offered to pick my kids up at any time without consequence if they really needed a ride, but that was like 10 years ago. I only had to do it twice.

    Christos Arvanitis
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it's a different culture or something but my takeaway is a group of parents seemingly supporting young-barely-women at 18 getting hammered on the regular. It just doesn't seem safe. I dunno. These kids (that's that they are. they've been adults for about 5 minutes) perhaps ought to figure out how to not drink their cab fare home.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or they could rotate DD. One sober night every few months is what we did before Uber.

    Load More Replies...
    Secret Squirrel
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just stay in the city and drive each way. If you don't know anyone, one s****y Airbnb or motel room will probably be about the same as taxi plus gas money for the ride in. If they are really going twice monthly, they will have made friends enough to get some recommendations at least. Besides, is it really clubbing if you aren't going to an after party?

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is insane to me... "i can't imagine anything worse than not being able to get drunk myself and having to pick up drunk teens" and "i let these teens drink, drink, drink at my house, pub, and club, but then want nothing to do with making sure they get home" sounds like poor parenting all around. At 18 they shouldn't be solely focused on getting wasted and this mom is encouraging it, but sounds like she's a drunk too needing 3 glasses of wine every Saturday and not being willing to give that up for her daughter. Also wtf is with redditors calling everyone dd, dh, ds, etc?

    Josephine Blogs
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not taken from Reddit, it's from Mumsnet. If you ask me it's quite sickening. But it's like this... DD: Dear Daughter DS: Dear Son DH: Dear Husband DW: Dear Wife DP: Dear Partner

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    Je L
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have been so embarrassed at 18 if my dad messaged other parents to organise pick ups after a night out. We were just left to it, managed ti organise it all ourselves, parents were only called if we were really stuck, if you're old enough to drink you should be able to organise your journey home.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd tell my kid: I'll come to get you at midnight. If you + your friends not ready to go, you can get yourselves home. There are FOUR kids, 18 or older. Time to start taking care of their own stuff. I was getting myself to + from high school + my job when I was 16.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This story is ridiculous! If they can't afford a ride home, then they can't afford to go out. Period! And as an American, why are teenagers going out and getting drunk every weekend? It's irresponsible even for adults to do that.

    Debbie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So poor people should stay home and never have fun? A Cab here would cost about 40 euro. A trip from me with the car would cost about what, 3 euro? That's a huge difference.

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    Gavin Johnson
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do the maths. Three families can do taxi duty, one can’t due to a full time commitment. That leaves six parents. They go clubbing every two weeks. So the actual involvement runs to roughly 4 trips per year. C’mon now, that’s not exactly giving up your life is it? Each daughter should simply discuss it with their parents and get organised. OR Accept that taxis are part of the expense of a night out and suck it up.

    Verena
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you get kids you need to factor that in. Especially when living somewhere without reliable transport. My dad was always okay with getting us. He loved a good wine, too, but me more. After the majority of my friends got their driving licences (here only at 18!), one of us usually could lend the car of their parents and of course did not drink. Seen that these girls can only party when alcohol is involved (pre-drinking????), this might not be a viable plan.

    Southie
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA. I’d die of embarrassment not taking my turn. Surely you can give up your 3 glasses of wine for one night. I’d tell them 1 am is plenty late enough

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are fully grown adults, yes? Why the f**k are their mums sorting this out?

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where the hell are the fathers in all of this?? The girls are Extremely lucky to be able to go out so often and until So late. I would've been strung up if I'd got home beyond midnight!!! I wasn't allowed clubbing or to go to pubs 18 or not, they have to be sensible and both find somewhere Much nearer and go much less often to.Save the best place for 3 or 6 monthly visits. I'm not going to blame the girls for this. Everyone of them has a mum who's agreed this time, 3am to come home is absolutely fine. Again nothing from the fathers. This has led the girls to believe this is fine and acceptable behaviour. Next, one mum. One brilliant mum wanting the very best safety for her child and the others children too has put herself out there to do this Insane run multiple times, like a selfless mum who is only thinking of her daughter. She needs to think of Herself. The other mums have either been pretty selfish in letting her do this or not giving a s**t about their kids safety. DBS Taxi 🚖

    Pixie T
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my sister and I were old enough to go clubbing our mum always made us have £20 extra in a separate part of our purses / bags and that was purely for cabs only. If for any reason we didn't have that money by the end of the night or cab fare was more then, there was always £50 kitty under the umbrella stand in our entrance hall. She made sure we'd always be able to pay for cabs no matter what.

    Suzie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They need to do what we did and have a rotating designated driver amongst themselves to drive them home.

    Tracy Rieon Hall
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're teenagers under 21 why tf are you allowing this? I'm not gonna get out of my sleep to go and pick up teenagers from partying and drinking they can catch an Uber home or they can rotate who's gonna drive. I'm not trying to be funny just being real no one will ever monopolize my free time because they're doing something stupid and can't drive home. If they choose to be stupid let them find their own way home. OP go out and enjoy your life just like they're doing instead of being their personal taxi

    RageOfAquarius
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was I the only one who struggled with all the acronyms? I usually figure them out, but it took me until the end to get AIBU and I still don't get the others.

    Foxglove🇮🇪
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It can be a bit of a chore, but I'd rather pick up my daughter and her friends at 3am to ensure they get home safe, than risk something happening. (I'll go to bed and set the alarm) but the other families all take their turns. We don't have public transport at night and taxis are scarce so driving is the only option.

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can see that being really nice as a once off or special occasion thing, but not a regular thing for something as completely unnecessary and risky as going out drinking all the time. Going out drinking it a high risk activity that is not necessary. If you want to go out and get wasted you need to take care of yourself. Parents shouldn't enable that kind of behaviour by driving their wasted kids around at 3am on a regular basis, IMO.

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    MegDragon
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The unhappy mom from group chat needs to redirect her frustration to the kids who think they are entitled to party wherever they like best and until whatever time of night and call mommy like she’s a taxi. This is the kind of conflict that comes from 12 year olds sleepovers. These young adults figure out their own transportation or they don’t get wasted in another town every week.

    Wil Whalen
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some reason this reminded me of what my father told me when I first started going out at night. "If you fool around and get in trouble, don't call me in the middle of the night to come bail you out of jail. You sit there until the next morning, and then call me and I'll come." By the way, in case I wasn't clear, that was absolutely the right thing to say.

    Michael MacKinnon
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From Northern Ontario, here: 13 miles is the next town from the one I grew up in, the only one with more than one bar. Parental pick-up is reasonable.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from a similar place, more reasonable to drive yourselves and take turns being sober than to ask parents to if it's a regular thing.

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    Imma
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm conflicted about this. My parents always said (when I was younger) that "They chose to have children and thus not drink alcohol to be able to drive when needed." For example when me or any of my siblings get to drunk, miss the bus or something else. Even when we were kids, they didn't drink in case something happened. But even if they were able to always pick me up I never even ask them, just because I wanted to go clubbing and maybe even not coming home late (often I went for the "stranger danger", in hindsight pretty dumb, but nothing to bad happened) doesn't mean they wanted to stay up way over their bedtime. But I think that mom is a champ, and I kind of understand that she just want the girls to be safe. But I dunno what is best to do here.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Prebook the taxi, £50 between four is just part of the cost of going out. But please, you can't think of anything worse? Stop being melodramatic. You don't want to drive, fine, but don't pretend it's actual hardship.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depending on OP's job, getting up or staying up until 3am in order to make a 60-minute round trip drive to pick up three drunk adult children (and presumably drop off the other two that aren't OP's daughter) may actually BE a hardship to OP. Humans require consistent sleep. Humans do not require clubbing.

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    Debbie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was 16 (yes, 16, times have changed) we went to a club/disco what was not really reachable by bus. Taxi's were expensive, entrance and drinks not so much (we also didn't drink that much). Our parents gladly dropped us off and picked us up. They knew we were only at that location and not other bars. They would not sleep otherwise untill we were home safely, so usually one of the parents did the driving. Here in the Netherlands it is not that necessary that you get your drivers license right away at 18, you can get around without quite well. If my kids would have a drivers licence I'd still pick them up if it's just once a month or once every two months, is that so hard? I would expect them to return the favour - if I'd want to have some drinks on an outing, then they should also be willing to be the designated driver occasionally.

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At 18 I was married and making babies. They need to take responsibility for themselves instead of counti g on mommy.

    Hidalgo
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sound like quite a few potential alcoholics!

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Starting with the one true alcoholic - mom. Can't be bothered to not drink on a Saturday to ensure her daughter is safe.

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    Bailey
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you are old enough to go to clubs, you are old enough to take responsibility for getting home. A £60 taxi split between 4 for a night out is not an extreme expense to factor into planning.

    Weltschmerz
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going out clubbing at the age of 16 and had to get taxis or buses at that age sometimes on my own into our city which is 5 1/2 miles away. 18 is definitely old enough to be sorting yourself out!

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    My O My
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why don't the girls take rotas of being the drivers. You know, they you do it. One stays sober and is the driver for this night.

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    Tamra
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like a lot of nonsense. Maybe the young women can cut back the partying to one weekend per month, and save up money for a taxi. If they're old enough to go out drinking, they need to learn the responsibility/cost of getting where they need to go safely. Also, do these women only have one parent each? Where are the fathers?

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given they weren’t mentioned or even hinted at, I’d say it’s safe to say the fathers have nothing to do with this, either because they’re not in the picture or because they’re smart, thinking the kids need to work this out on their own.

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    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whole thing is ridiculous. The girls don't NEED to go clubbing at all. And if they're old enough to drink they're old enough to arrange a ride.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make it a condition of going out that they have a pre-booked and pre-paid cab organised. If they're old enough to drink, they're old enough to pay for a cab. Having parents pick you up at 3 am is an emergency measure only. You want them to be getting in the habit of planning and budgeting for their own safety and transport in advance, while they're still living at home. If they go off to uni, and all of a sudden a night out is costing £15 more, it's easy for them to think "well, can't afford that everytime" and put themselves at risk. Establish good habits while you still have the chance to influence them.

    Marianne
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would definitely pick up my child in an emergency at any time. However, a taxi company where all the drivers are personally known to the family really seems safe enough. I wouldn't want to spend the night driving around when there is a reasonable other option available.

    Nadine Debard
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I 've been the daughter and my friend's mom did the pickup (the alternative was that we came back walking, it was only 5 km but not a safe place to be at night). My parents didn't take turns for whatever reason, but I am still thankful to that mom. We didn't consider taxi because, you know, a girl at night alone with a man. But we went clubbing maximum every other month, not twice a month! Where do they find the money? I think the girls should take responsibility, stop abusing of the parents time and sleep and find a way to go out a bit less. It would be much more acceptable for the other moms (and dads!).

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Walking alone seems more dangerous than being in a car with a man. The same man could stop on the road. Why wouldn't you all go together and stay at one place?

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    Sarah Jan Kelly
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have NEVER expected my parents or friends’ parents to facilitate my clubbing. Honestly would have been mortified for any of them to see me after a night of drinking—very much a “don’t ask don’t tell” kind of situation. If you are old enough to go out partying you are old enough to not need your parents to facilitate it. If the parents don’t think sharing a taxi is safe at 3 am, how do they think being in the club is safe?! Isn’t being drugged and SA’d more of a risk in the club than in a taxi?

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have arranged our own transport in all my teenage years. We either used the bus, or (later) had a driver organized. When we had neither WE paid for taxis. Guess the girls will have to work 2 hours extra for the taxi.

    Lace Neil
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in my youthful days of going out and getting drunk, I'd either stick to my local pub or get a taxi. Both my parents worked and would have hit the roof if I'd asked them to collect me at 3am! If I didn't have enough money for a cab, I'd stay at a friend's house.

    Bean Driller
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so unreal. These kids can take turns being the designated driver. Be responsible adults. I have offered to pick my kids up at any time without consequence if they really needed a ride, but that was like 10 years ago. I only had to do it twice.

    Christos Arvanitis
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it's a different culture or something but my takeaway is a group of parents seemingly supporting young-barely-women at 18 getting hammered on the regular. It just doesn't seem safe. I dunno. These kids (that's that they are. they've been adults for about 5 minutes) perhaps ought to figure out how to not drink their cab fare home.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or they could rotate DD. One sober night every few months is what we did before Uber.

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    Secret Squirrel
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just stay in the city and drive each way. If you don't know anyone, one s****y Airbnb or motel room will probably be about the same as taxi plus gas money for the ride in. If they are really going twice monthly, they will have made friends enough to get some recommendations at least. Besides, is it really clubbing if you aren't going to an after party?

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is insane to me... "i can't imagine anything worse than not being able to get drunk myself and having to pick up drunk teens" and "i let these teens drink, drink, drink at my house, pub, and club, but then want nothing to do with making sure they get home" sounds like poor parenting all around. At 18 they shouldn't be solely focused on getting wasted and this mom is encouraging it, but sounds like she's a drunk too needing 3 glasses of wine every Saturday and not being willing to give that up for her daughter. Also wtf is with redditors calling everyone dd, dh, ds, etc?

    Josephine Blogs
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not taken from Reddit, it's from Mumsnet. If you ask me it's quite sickening. But it's like this... DD: Dear Daughter DS: Dear Son DH: Dear Husband DW: Dear Wife DP: Dear Partner

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    Je L
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have been so embarrassed at 18 if my dad messaged other parents to organise pick ups after a night out. We were just left to it, managed ti organise it all ourselves, parents were only called if we were really stuck, if you're old enough to drink you should be able to organise your journey home.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd tell my kid: I'll come to get you at midnight. If you + your friends not ready to go, you can get yourselves home. There are FOUR kids, 18 or older. Time to start taking care of their own stuff. I was getting myself to + from high school + my job when I was 16.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This story is ridiculous! If they can't afford a ride home, then they can't afford to go out. Period! And as an American, why are teenagers going out and getting drunk every weekend? It's irresponsible even for adults to do that.

    Debbie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So poor people should stay home and never have fun? A Cab here would cost about 40 euro. A trip from me with the car would cost about what, 3 euro? That's a huge difference.

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    Gavin Johnson
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do the maths. Three families can do taxi duty, one can’t due to a full time commitment. That leaves six parents. They go clubbing every two weeks. So the actual involvement runs to roughly 4 trips per year. C’mon now, that’s not exactly giving up your life is it? Each daughter should simply discuss it with their parents and get organised. OR Accept that taxis are part of the expense of a night out and suck it up.

    Verena
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you get kids you need to factor that in. Especially when living somewhere without reliable transport. My dad was always okay with getting us. He loved a good wine, too, but me more. After the majority of my friends got their driving licences (here only at 18!), one of us usually could lend the car of their parents and of course did not drink. Seen that these girls can only party when alcohol is involved (pre-drinking????), this might not be a viable plan.

    Southie
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA. I’d die of embarrassment not taking my turn. Surely you can give up your 3 glasses of wine for one night. I’d tell them 1 am is plenty late enough

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are fully grown adults, yes? Why the f**k are their mums sorting this out?

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where the hell are the fathers in all of this?? The girls are Extremely lucky to be able to go out so often and until So late. I would've been strung up if I'd got home beyond midnight!!! I wasn't allowed clubbing or to go to pubs 18 or not, they have to be sensible and both find somewhere Much nearer and go much less often to.Save the best place for 3 or 6 monthly visits. I'm not going to blame the girls for this. Everyone of them has a mum who's agreed this time, 3am to come home is absolutely fine. Again nothing from the fathers. This has led the girls to believe this is fine and acceptable behaviour. Next, one mum. One brilliant mum wanting the very best safety for her child and the others children too has put herself out there to do this Insane run multiple times, like a selfless mum who is only thinking of her daughter. She needs to think of Herself. The other mums have either been pretty selfish in letting her do this or not giving a s**t about their kids safety. DBS Taxi 🚖

    Pixie T
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my sister and I were old enough to go clubbing our mum always made us have £20 extra in a separate part of our purses / bags and that was purely for cabs only. If for any reason we didn't have that money by the end of the night or cab fare was more then, there was always £50 kitty under the umbrella stand in our entrance hall. She made sure we'd always be able to pay for cabs no matter what.

    Suzie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They need to do what we did and have a rotating designated driver amongst themselves to drive them home.

    Tracy Rieon Hall
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they're teenagers under 21 why tf are you allowing this? I'm not gonna get out of my sleep to go and pick up teenagers from partying and drinking they can catch an Uber home or they can rotate who's gonna drive. I'm not trying to be funny just being real no one will ever monopolize my free time because they're doing something stupid and can't drive home. If they choose to be stupid let them find their own way home. OP go out and enjoy your life just like they're doing instead of being their personal taxi

    RageOfAquarius
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was I the only one who struggled with all the acronyms? I usually figure them out, but it took me until the end to get AIBU and I still don't get the others.

    Foxglove🇮🇪
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It can be a bit of a chore, but I'd rather pick up my daughter and her friends at 3am to ensure they get home safe, than risk something happening. (I'll go to bed and set the alarm) but the other families all take their turns. We don't have public transport at night and taxis are scarce so driving is the only option.

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can see that being really nice as a once off or special occasion thing, but not a regular thing for something as completely unnecessary and risky as going out drinking all the time. Going out drinking it a high risk activity that is not necessary. If you want to go out and get wasted you need to take care of yourself. Parents shouldn't enable that kind of behaviour by driving their wasted kids around at 3am on a regular basis, IMO.

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    MegDragon
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The unhappy mom from group chat needs to redirect her frustration to the kids who think they are entitled to party wherever they like best and until whatever time of night and call mommy like she’s a taxi. This is the kind of conflict that comes from 12 year olds sleepovers. These young adults figure out their own transportation or they don’t get wasted in another town every week.

    Wil Whalen
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some reason this reminded me of what my father told me when I first started going out at night. "If you fool around and get in trouble, don't call me in the middle of the night to come bail you out of jail. You sit there until the next morning, and then call me and I'll come." By the way, in case I wasn't clear, that was absolutely the right thing to say.

    Michael MacKinnon
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From Northern Ontario, here: 13 miles is the next town from the one I grew up in, the only one with more than one bar. Parental pick-up is reasonable.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from a similar place, more reasonable to drive yourselves and take turns being sober than to ask parents to if it's a regular thing.

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    Imma
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm conflicted about this. My parents always said (when I was younger) that "They chose to have children and thus not drink alcohol to be able to drive when needed." For example when me or any of my siblings get to drunk, miss the bus or something else. Even when we were kids, they didn't drink in case something happened. But even if they were able to always pick me up I never even ask them, just because I wanted to go clubbing and maybe even not coming home late (often I went for the "stranger danger", in hindsight pretty dumb, but nothing to bad happened) doesn't mean they wanted to stay up way over their bedtime. But I think that mom is a champ, and I kind of understand that she just want the girls to be safe. But I dunno what is best to do here.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Prebook the taxi, £50 between four is just part of the cost of going out. But please, you can't think of anything worse? Stop being melodramatic. You don't want to drive, fine, but don't pretend it's actual hardship.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depending on OP's job, getting up or staying up until 3am in order to make a 60-minute round trip drive to pick up three drunk adult children (and presumably drop off the other two that aren't OP's daughter) may actually BE a hardship to OP. Humans require consistent sleep. Humans do not require clubbing.

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    Debbie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was 16 (yes, 16, times have changed) we went to a club/disco what was not really reachable by bus. Taxi's were expensive, entrance and drinks not so much (we also didn't drink that much). Our parents gladly dropped us off and picked us up. They knew we were only at that location and not other bars. They would not sleep otherwise untill we were home safely, so usually one of the parents did the driving. Here in the Netherlands it is not that necessary that you get your drivers license right away at 18, you can get around without quite well. If my kids would have a drivers licence I'd still pick them up if it's just once a month or once every two months, is that so hard? I would expect them to return the favour - if I'd want to have some drinks on an outing, then they should also be willing to be the designated driver occasionally.

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At 18 I was married and making babies. They need to take responsibility for themselves instead of counti g on mommy.

    Hidalgo
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sound like quite a few potential alcoholics!

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Starting with the one true alcoholic - mom. Can't be bothered to not drink on a Saturday to ensure her daughter is safe.

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