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Mom Asks If Kicking Out Husband And Son A Few Days Before Christmas Was An Overreaction
Supporting your loved ones means more than just telling them that you appreciate them. You have to show it. Appreciation often means getting your hands dirty, quite literally, to help out around the house. But the sad reality is that in many families, when it comes to chores, even in this day and age, men don’t step up enough.
One frustrated mother vented online about how her husband and son never help with the housework. Things got so bad with the dad enabling his son’s (and his own!) laziness that the mom finally decided that enough was enough. She threw them out of the house right before Christmas. She then asked the AITA online community whether she was too harsh. Scroll down to read the full story and the internet’s opinions.
RELATED:
This woman was sick and tired of her husband and son viewing her as their maid
Image credits: Jason Leung (not the actual photo)
So in a last-ditch effort to teach them a lesson, she kicked the two out of the house just days before Christmas
Image credits: Craig Adderley (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
When someone is unhappy about the allocation of household chores, the stress level in their home can increase tremendously
In the past, the division of housework was generally attributed to differences in the labor force; men were more likely to work full-time outside the home while women were more likely to manage the household.
Nowadays, however, the situation is different. Women make up 47% of the workforce in the United States. Yet, as this Reddit post illustrates, they are still often expected to shoulder much of the unpaid labor at home.
What may matter more than an equal 50/50 split is how each person feels about the division of duties.
Research tells us that the unfair distribution of housework is one of the top stressors in many relationships. For example, one study discovered that wives whose husbands were minimally involved with these responsibilities were 160% more likely to be distressed, 296% more likely to be uncomfortable with their husbands, and 269% more likely to be unhappy.
Image credits: Jason Abdilla (not the actual photo)
The majority of the time, women are the ones who take on most of the holiday responsibilities
It’s understandable why the author of the Reddit post resorted to more radical measures during this particular time of year. According to new research by Starling Bank, women are primarily responsible for 19 of the 23 Christmas tasks.
The survey suggests that men take the lead in carving the turkey (they do this exclusively by themselves 51% of the time compared to 26% of women), washing up after the festive dinner (31% vs 26%), untangling the fairy lights (41% vs 28%), and getting rid of the Christmas tree (51% vs 16%).
Women, on the other hand, buy presents (57% vs 8% of men), wrap them (58% vs 10%), plan Christmas dinner and buy the products (51% vs 12%), cook it (49% vs 19%), attend the children’s nativity play (28% vs 6%), write holiday cards (62% vs 10%), clean the house for guests (42% vs 12%), and much more.
With all of the preparation on the horizon, no wonder the woman behind the Reddit post wanted her husband and son to step up.
Image credits: Dan Gold (not the actual photo)
Most people said the woman did nothing wrong
But some thought she could’ve been less harsh on the boy
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What do you think ?
R Dennis 15 hours ago
I love all the handwringing in the comments. OP's son is 13 - if he doesn't get his s**t together soon, he never will. Then, when he's out here being a useless slob, his significant other will be asking "AITA for kicking out my lazy boyfriend?" Hopefully this kick in the b**t is the wake-up call he needed.
Binky Melnik 10 hours ago
I can attest to that. My mom was my maid growing up and I was an absolute slob. Why do anything useful if mom will do it? As a result, I grew into a slob of an adult. I usta have housekeepers to pick up after me, but when I couldn’t afford ‘em anymore, I was screwed. I’m constantly falling all over my stuff at least once a day. If I could go back in time, I’d tell my mom to raise responsible kids. 😞
Load More Replies...
Elmina 17 hours ago
When moms have had enough, they have had ENOUGH... My 2 younger sisters and I were quite used to having a housekeeper do the cleaning and stuff when we grew up. At one point, we moved cities and didn't have a housekeeper for a coupe of weeks. During that time, my mom must have asked us to help out at least 5000 times. What did we do? Absolutely nothing. We were awful. So... My mom went on strike! She made a poster and stuck it on the front door. The poster read something along the lines of "The mother of this house is tired of her lazy children, and has gone on strike. If the house is dirty, speak to the children". In hindsight, it was FANTASTIC! At the time, it was super embarrassing. But, it got us off our butts. That was 30 years ago, and we still talk about it every now and then.
Tabitha 14 hours ago (edited)
Obviously the son hated living with just his pig of a father, since he was quickly calling his mother, begging to come home, and happy to sign on to any agreement about the division of household labor having to be fair. Without the a*****e father undermining OP’s efforts to teach her son to be a real man and not a helpless man-baby like his worthless pig of a father, there’s hope for the boy to turn out great. I have never understood that outdated dynamic anyway. Boys will grow into men who leave home to live on their own, just like girls will grow into independent women with homes of their own. So why aren’t both being taught how to cook, clean, budget, buy groceries, keep up with car and home maintenance, and all the other stuff that’s part and parcel of adulthood? My husband and I didn’t meet and marry until we were both almost forty, and we were both on our own since we were about nineteen. That’s a lot of years on our own, running our own homes. We both also like our home to be clean and tidy. We BOTH cook and clean, without having to be asked to do any of it. If one cooks, the other dies dishes. He’ll dust and vacuum while I wipe down countertops and follow the vacuum with a mop on the wood and linoleum floors. If two people are doing it, cleaning house takes half the time to do. It’s nit a generational thing either. We’re both in our sixties. His parents divorced, and his mother always worked, so she wasn’t a SAHM who had all day every day to keep the house spotless. Her boys, including my husband, had to help. They had to get dinner ready if she was working late. They had to make sure the house stayed clean so their already exhausted mother didn’t have to clean when she got home. Wasn’t easy, but it was good experience for their adult lives. ALL children should learn these skills, if they don’t want to live like pigs.
R.C. 14 hours ago
All the YTA people have clearly not had to deal with being in a relationship with a man child and it shows. Eventually you get to the point where it's one straw too many and just snap because nothing else has gotten through to them. How that snap happens, the timing of when it's going to happen and the result of it are unknowable until it does happen and it's different for everyone but I totally understand OP's reaction.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 15 hours ago
Good for OP. There's still time for Tim to forget his idiot father's teachings and do better. Anyone know if she kept the waste of space husband?
FreeTheUnicorn 13 hours ago
If you can afford impromptu motel for weeks during the holidays, seems like a good solution.
Lee Gilliland 8 hours ago (edited)
Some people won't listen until you drop a nuclear b*mb on them, and if it's a really entitled man, not even then.
Giulia Fortunati 14 hours ago (edited)
Another repeat post from 2 years ago... And now look my comment get downvoted by BP staff!
Mike Crow 18 hours ago
Can she legally prevent the husband and her son (who is a minor) from returning to their home?
Hume 18 hours ago
Depends who's house it is. It seems like the house is in her name, which the husband respects, as he isn't challenging that he has full right to be home too. It is a bit strange, yes, but I guess this has been coming for a long time.
Load More Replies...
Jaya 15 hours ago (edited)
Throwing your spouse and kid out of the house because you're angry, is basically throwing an adult tantrum. You do not tell your kid that they can't live at home, just because they made a huge mess and never do their chores. That is borderline abúsive. A kid could get a lot of anxiety from that, worrying about not really being welcome at home and that their parent doesn't love them. Of course the kid should be punished, but there are many different ways to do that, throwing them out of the house as a "wakeup call" is NOT a reasonable punishment. A kid's feeling of being loved and welcome at home is more important than your need to throw an adult tantrum.
Lee Gilliland 8 hours ago
Husband didn't do a bloody thing. Can you read?
Load More Replies...
JuJu 17 hours ago
What about his other parent, the male one, usually addressed as "father"? He's not able to feed and shelter his son? It's all on the mother?
Load More Replies...
R Dennis 15 hours ago
I love all the handwringing in the comments. OP's son is 13 - if he doesn't get his s**t together soon, he never will. Then, when he's out here being a useless slob, his significant other will be asking "AITA for kicking out my lazy boyfriend?" Hopefully this kick in the b**t is the wake-up call he needed.
Binky Melnik 10 hours ago
I can attest to that. My mom was my maid growing up and I was an absolute slob. Why do anything useful if mom will do it? As a result, I grew into a slob of an adult. I usta have housekeepers to pick up after me, but when I couldn’t afford ‘em anymore, I was screwed. I’m constantly falling all over my stuff at least once a day. If I could go back in time, I’d tell my mom to raise responsible kids. 😞
Load More Replies... Elmina 17 hours ago
When moms have had enough, they have had ENOUGH... My 2 younger sisters and I were quite used to having a housekeeper do the cleaning and stuff when we grew up. At one point, we moved cities and didn't have a housekeeper for a coupe of weeks. During that time, my mom must have asked us to help out at least 5000 times. What did we do? Absolutely nothing. We were awful. So... My mom went on strike! She made a poster and stuck it on the front door. The poster read something along the lines of "The mother of this house is tired of her lazy children, and has gone on strike. If the house is dirty, speak to the children". In hindsight, it was FANTASTIC! At the time, it was super embarrassing. But, it got us off our butts. That was 30 years ago, and we still talk about it every now and then.
Tabitha 14 hours ago (edited)
Obviously the son hated living with just his pig of a father, since he was quickly calling his mother, begging to come home, and happy to sign on to any agreement about the division of household labor having to be fair. Without the a*****e father undermining OP’s efforts to teach her son to be a real man and not a helpless man-baby like his worthless pig of a father, there’s hope for the boy to turn out great. I have never understood that outdated dynamic anyway. Boys will grow into men who leave home to live on their own, just like girls will grow into independent women with homes of their own. So why aren’t both being taught how to cook, clean, budget, buy groceries, keep up with car and home maintenance, and all the other stuff that’s part and parcel of adulthood? My husband and I didn’t meet and marry until we were both almost forty, and we were both on our own since we were about nineteen. That’s a lot of years on our own, running our own homes. We both also like our home to be clean and tidy. We BOTH cook and clean, without having to be asked to do any of it. If one cooks, the other dies dishes. He’ll dust and vacuum while I wipe down countertops and follow the vacuum with a mop on the wood and linoleum floors. If two people are doing it, cleaning house takes half the time to do. It’s nit a generational thing either. We’re both in our sixties. His parents divorced, and his mother always worked, so she wasn’t a SAHM who had all day every day to keep the house spotless. Her boys, including my husband, had to help. They had to get dinner ready if she was working late. They had to make sure the house stayed clean so their already exhausted mother didn’t have to clean when she got home. Wasn’t easy, but it was good experience for their adult lives. ALL children should learn these skills, if they don’t want to live like pigs.
R.C. 14 hours ago
All the YTA people have clearly not had to deal with being in a relationship with a man child and it shows. Eventually you get to the point where it's one straw too many and just snap because nothing else has gotten through to them. How that snap happens, the timing of when it's going to happen and the result of it are unknowable until it does happen and it's different for everyone but I totally understand OP's reaction.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 15 hours ago
Good for OP. There's still time for Tim to forget his idiot father's teachings and do better. Anyone know if she kept the waste of space husband?
FreeTheUnicorn 13 hours ago
If you can afford impromptu motel for weeks during the holidays, seems like a good solution.
Lee Gilliland 8 hours ago (edited)
Some people won't listen until you drop a nuclear b*mb on them, and if it's a really entitled man, not even then.
Giulia Fortunati 14 hours ago (edited)
Another repeat post from 2 years ago... And now look my comment get downvoted by BP staff!
Mike Crow 18 hours ago
Can she legally prevent the husband and her son (who is a minor) from returning to their home?
Hume 18 hours ago
Depends who's house it is. It seems like the house is in her name, which the husband respects, as he isn't challenging that he has full right to be home too. It is a bit strange, yes, but I guess this has been coming for a long time.
Load More Replies... Jaya 15 hours ago (edited)
Throwing your spouse and kid out of the house because you're angry, is basically throwing an adult tantrum. You do not tell your kid that they can't live at home, just because they made a huge mess and never do their chores. That is borderline abúsive. A kid could get a lot of anxiety from that, worrying about not really being welcome at home and that their parent doesn't love them. Of course the kid should be punished, but there are many different ways to do that, throwing them out of the house as a "wakeup call" is NOT a reasonable punishment. A kid's feeling of being loved and welcome at home is more important than your need to throw an adult tantrum.
Lee Gilliland 8 hours ago
Husband didn't do a bloody thing. Can you read?
Load More Replies... JuJu 17 hours ago
What about his other parent, the male one, usually addressed as "father"? He's not able to feed and shelter his son? It's all on the mother?
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