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Couple Weirded Out After MIL Secretly Sneaks In SIL To Meet Their Baby, Can’t Understand A Reason
New parents can sometimes be overprotective of their babies, but that’s quite understandable, isn’t it? After all, it’s their first time being a mother or father and they are bound to be scared or even overthink certain things. During such a time, family should also try to be understanding, right?
This family, on the other hand, did something peculiar, which really annoyed the new parents. When both of them were out of the house, the original poster’s (OP) mother-in-law planned a secret visit for her daughter to come see the newborn! Read on to uncover the full story!
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
When it’s the first time being a parent, anyone would tend to get more protective of their babies
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster and her partner are new parents of a 16-month-old, and her in-laws visit once every week to look after the baby while they go to work
Image credits: Loonadoona
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
During work, the poster got a notification that there was someone in their driveway, and it turned out that her sister-in-law was visiting
Image credits: Loonadoona
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The couple was shocked that she planned this secret visit, but it was because she didn’t want to do anything wrong in front of the new parents
Image credits: Loonadoona
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
They had never really objected to the woman visiting their baby, so they just couldn’t figure out why she would do it secretly
Image credits: Loonadoona
The poster was irked about all the secrecy, so she decided to confront them about it and ask why they did it
Folks, brace yourself, for today, we dive into a very strange tale that happened in the poster’s life. She and her partner are new parents of a 16-month-old baby, so her in-laws come over once a week to watch him while they go to work. However, this nice arrangement instantly turned not-so-nice after what happened one day when they were out.
Well, the couple got a notification that there was someone in their driveway, and they texted the grandparents to ask who it was. Turns out, OP’s sister-in-law, who stays two hours away, had secretly planned to come and visit the baby. What’s annoying them more is that they never had any problem with her coming to see their kid, and that the in-laws would arrange this secretly.
Utterly baffled by this, they asked the mother-in-law about all the sneaky business. Apparently, she shared that her daughter, who’s childfree by choice, didn’t want to do anything wrong in front of the new parents, so she kept it a secret. This didn’t really convince the poster, as there was no other reason given, and she thinks that the sneakiness is unnecessary.
The couple also feels that since it’s their baby, they get to decide who comes to their house to see him. After she vented online, netizens were divided, but many suggested talking with her sister-in-law. The poster gave us an update that she’s planning to confront her in-laws, as she still can’t fathom why they would do something like this.
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many people found the sister-in-law’s behavior quite bizarre, and just like OP, they couldn’t figure out why she did it. Some claimed that the grandma and her daughter crossed boundaries by not informing the couple about this. Time and again, research has shown that it’s important to respect these boundaries as they help maintain healthy relationships, but some people just don’t get it.
Also, for those who are unaware, there’s an actual thing called new mum anxiety, so we can understand where OP is coming from. People have reported that this phase can also be very emotional, and having a sense of control can help. Of course, the poster also wants to know about who comes and visits her baby, and is it not natural that she should be informed?
Besides, all this family secrecy can have a negative impact on OP’s health, not to mention, it may also feel like a loss of trust. We all know how difficult it is to gain someone’s trust when it’s broken. However, there were a few netizens who didn’t side with the poster as they felt that she was overreacting, or even being controlling.
Unlike many people who found this weird, they argued that there was no issue here and OP was just making a mountain out of a molehill. Some even claimed that she should stop micromanaging her in-laws since she’s getting free childcare from them. What about you? Which side of this debate would you pick? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Many people sided with the poster, as even they found it weird, but some said that she sounds quite controlling
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What do you think ?
Apatheist Account2 4 months ago
If one is worried about mucking things up with the baby, wouldn't it be preferable to have a parent there to whom one could hand the child back, so that they can deal with it? There are (if this is true) some really weird people out there.
Janelle Collard 4 months ago
OP + her hubs need to be on the same page re: secret visits. "Any more of this + you're cut off from seeing the baby or babysitting" would be a good start to the conversation.
K Barnes 4 months ago
I wonder why SIL is so anxious to interact with the baby around its parents, but feels safe doing so with her parents there. Could be a SIL thing, could be that OP and her husband aren't very kind/supportive as OP claims. Doesn't make the secrecy thing ok, but it makes me wonder why.
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
I actually get the secrecy. I mean it was a terrible idea, but as someone who tends to freeze up and blank out in the presence of others, I kinda get the nervousness of interacting with the baby and worrying about the parents. In a situation like this, though, you really have to just swallow that nervousness because the concept of secretly meeting their baby without them knowing is just that awful of an idea. I suspect OP nd husband don't have much experience with the whole, freezing up thing, or they'd probably be a bit more understanding of why it isn't so "needlessly secretive" to said person. Not that I blame them for freaking out about it, mind you, just it's kind of funny seeing someone who finds your way of thinking completely alien and trying to figure out said way of thinking with no success.
Sarah 4 months ago
Could someone explain, I’m always seeing on posts DH or DL? What does these mean?
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
DH = Dear husband. DP = Dear partner (Might want to not try googling that one). DC = Dear child. MIL/FIL mother/father-in-law (won't cover all the inlaws, but it's the same pattern). I'm not certain on DL. Mayber dear loved-one?
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Salvador Ciappara 4 months ago
The sil clearly has issues with her brother and sil.....who both come across as controlling/suspicious. They claim they have no issue with brothers sister wanting to see baby without them around (spending time with baby when Mom and Dad are babysitting) but, they "demand" a explanation that satisfies their curiosity. It seems as though they're the ones looking for a reason to be angry?! SIL behavior is curious but hey, we all can't be perfect now can we?!
JE 4 months ago
I would never be okay with someone in my house without me knowing, especially with a baby. This might be normal in some cultures, but it is not common in all of them. Especially when they admitted that it was purposefully kept secret.
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 4 months ago
If one is worried about mucking things up with the baby, wouldn't it be preferable to have a parent there to whom one could hand the child back, so that they can deal with it? There are (if this is true) some really weird people out there.
Janelle Collard 4 months ago
OP + her hubs need to be on the same page re: secret visits. "Any more of this + you're cut off from seeing the baby or babysitting" would be a good start to the conversation.
K Barnes 4 months ago
I wonder why SIL is so anxious to interact with the baby around its parents, but feels safe doing so with her parents there. Could be a SIL thing, could be that OP and her husband aren't very kind/supportive as OP claims. Doesn't make the secrecy thing ok, but it makes me wonder why.
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
I actually get the secrecy. I mean it was a terrible idea, but as someone who tends to freeze up and blank out in the presence of others, I kinda get the nervousness of interacting with the baby and worrying about the parents. In a situation like this, though, you really have to just swallow that nervousness because the concept of secretly meeting their baby without them knowing is just that awful of an idea. I suspect OP nd husband don't have much experience with the whole, freezing up thing, or they'd probably be a bit more understanding of why it isn't so "needlessly secretive" to said person. Not that I blame them for freaking out about it, mind you, just it's kind of funny seeing someone who finds your way of thinking completely alien and trying to figure out said way of thinking with no success.
Sarah 4 months ago
Could someone explain, I’m always seeing on posts DH or DL? What does these mean?
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
DH = Dear husband. DP = Dear partner (Might want to not try googling that one). DC = Dear child. MIL/FIL mother/father-in-law (won't cover all the inlaws, but it's the same pattern). I'm not certain on DL. Mayber dear loved-one?
Load More Replies... Salvador Ciappara 4 months ago
The sil clearly has issues with her brother and sil.....who both come across as controlling/suspicious. They claim they have no issue with brothers sister wanting to see baby without them around (spending time with baby when Mom and Dad are babysitting) but, they "demand" a explanation that satisfies their curiosity. It seems as though they're the ones looking for a reason to be angry?! SIL behavior is curious but hey, we all can't be perfect now can we?!
JE 4 months ago
I would never be okay with someone in my house without me knowing, especially with a baby. This might be normal in some cultures, but it is not common in all of them. Especially when they admitted that it was purposefully kept secret.
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