Guy Asks If He’s A Jerk For Getting In A Fight With His MIL About His Daughter Having “Real” Private Parts
Interview
Personal hygiene should be taken seriously since the early days. That’s why it’s important for parents to educate their children so they know how to take proper care of themselves.
Redditor u/buttsforhats made sure his daughter knew the right ways to do it. He told the AITA community that he and his wife taught her how to wipe correctly; however, to his surprise, his MIL was lacking such knowledge. Not only that, she didn’t think her granddaughter had “real” parts down there at all. Scroll down to find the OP’s story in his own words.
Bored Panda has reached out to the OP and he was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find his thoughts in the text below.
Teaching your kids about personal hygiene is crucially important
Image credits: Dziana Hasanbekava (not the actual photo)
These parents taught their daughter how to care of herself but her grandmother was lacking such knowledge
Image credits: Rido81 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/buttsforhats
Due to her upbringing, the OP’s mother-in-law didn’t receive the necessary information
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
It’s crucially important to form the right habits for kids when it comes to personal hygiene. It ensures they take good care of themselves, which can prevent certain medical problems. Even though nowadays they are often taught these things in schools and elsewhere, the first place to learn is typically home, with family members being the first teachers.
The OP and his wife made sure their four-year-old knew the right way to wipe, so she doesn’t get health problems arising from improper hygiene. Unfortunately, due to her upbringing, the grandmother didn’t receive such information in her home, the redditor told Bored Panda.
“I’d like to start off by saying we have resolved the situation and my MIL has been updated on information she, at no fault of her own, did not know,” he shared. “I feel very badly and ashamed at calling her stupid. I’ve apologized for that and we’re back on good terms.”
“My wife spoke to her mom about it extensively. MIL said it was due to upbringing, she grew up in a strictly Christian household with very reserved parents that told her and her sisters (she was one of four girls) that once they got their period as a teenager is when it actually became a functioning vagina and before that, it was just for peeing. She legitimately believed there actually wasn’t a real hole or anything there, just the beginning of an opening that would open up fully after their first period. They were also forbidden from using anything but pads and things like sex education were not discussed. I do not hold her at fault for not knowing how to wipe my daughter,” he added.
Sex education in schools can help inform the youth, especially if they can’t discuss certain topics at home
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
The OP revealed that despite her upbringing, his mother-in-law was more lenient when it came to raising her own daughters. “According to my wife, her parents did raise them with Christian beliefs, but ultimately did not force them to follow any doctrines,” he told Bored Panda.
“My MIL expressed that she did not want her daughters to feel controlled when growing up. My wife and her sisters were raised to believe in what they wanted to, and were not forbidden from receiving sex education through their health classes in school. It was not necessarily taboo but it also wasn’t talked about, it was accepted that they were of a newer generation of women that had independence and the right to choose. I am proud of my MIL for this and I view her in a much different light now. I respect her.”
Proper sex education at schools ensures the youth is provided with all the necessary information, whether they receive it at home or not. According to the Guttmacher Institute, in the US, 38 states and the District of Columbia currently mandate sex and HIV education. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revealed that the vast majority of teenagers (96% of females and 97% of males) receive formal sex education before they turn 18.
The OP’s mother-in-law didn’t receive such education at school. Moreover, her home wasn’t the place to discuss similar topics either, which is why the redditor said it’s important to talk things out before lashing out at someone.
“We have talked it through and covered all misunderstandings and have agreed to work toward better knowledge and communication going forward. It is not my MIL’s fault and I ultimately think I am the [jerk] for not trying to understand where she was coming from. She was not being malicious or anything, she was dreadfully misinformed at no fault of her own and after talking it through was open to learning how the anatomy and physiology actually works and was deeply sad and sorry that she could’ve caused an infection.
“I didn’t take the time to talk to her out of my own frustration and that is no example to set for my children. It’s not okay to call someone stupid when it’s just ignorance that can be mended. We’ve told that to our son and daughter now, to not call people stupid because of a disagreement. Always, always talk it out and be calm and understanding.”
A fellow redditor applauded the little girl for advocating for herself
The online community unanimously decided the OP wasn’t a jerk
Does she think at puberty they magically bloom and open? We aren't flowers.....we're women!!!
Maybe one of those people that think there’s something that closes off the hole until it’s “broken??”
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Females should wipe "front to back" to avoid putting colon bacteria into the urethra...a sure-fire way to get a UTI / urinary tract infection. As a nurse, I'm always baffled to encounter female patients that were "taught" otherwise. Difficult to believe...but they're REALLY out there. 😬 My first job working with elderly females, it made some sense ( although, still a fast way to get that UTI) since arthritis sets in, years of wear and tear, wiping the 'wrong way' was the only way that their stuff joints allowed. As a relatively young female, it just nauseates me ...the idea of "mixing the back with the front"....Parents need to do better teaching young ladies about their bodies.
Also kudos to the person who explained that it's not a vaginal infection that's the most problematic, but a UTI or irritation to the vulva. Often people still aren't getting it. I remember when potty training my girl I got a book that used "correct terminology", it was highly recommended and seen as a progressive book. It said boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. But it never explained that girls pee out of a different hole. So no wonder even people who try to be more open about these things can get it wrong.
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I try to refrain from insults as much as I can but in this case I think it was more than justified and I think she needed to hear just how incredibly stupid that was. I'm also really glad the wife had his back, particularly after some of the stories I've read here recently.
Yeah, thank goodness wife ended up smarter than her Mom on that one.
Load More Replies... Does she think at puberty they magically bloom and open? We aren't flowers.....we're women!!!
Maybe one of those people that think there’s something that closes off the hole until it’s “broken??”
Load More Replies... Females should wipe "front to back" to avoid putting colon bacteria into the urethra...a sure-fire way to get a UTI / urinary tract infection. As a nurse, I'm always baffled to encounter female patients that were "taught" otherwise. Difficult to believe...but they're REALLY out there. 😬 My first job working with elderly females, it made some sense ( although, still a fast way to get that UTI) since arthritis sets in, years of wear and tear, wiping the 'wrong way' was the only way that their stuff joints allowed. As a relatively young female, it just nauseates me ...the idea of "mixing the back with the front"....Parents need to do better teaching young ladies about their bodies.
Also kudos to the person who explained that it's not a vaginal infection that's the most problematic, but a UTI or irritation to the vulva. Often people still aren't getting it. I remember when potty training my girl I got a book that used "correct terminology", it was highly recommended and seen as a progressive book. It said boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. But it never explained that girls pee out of a different hole. So no wonder even people who try to be more open about these things can get it wrong.
Load More Replies... I try to refrain from insults as much as I can but in this case I think it was more than justified and I think she needed to hear just how incredibly stupid that was. I'm also really glad the wife had his back, particularly after some of the stories I've read here recently.
Yeah, thank goodness wife ended up smarter than her Mom on that one.
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