Unborn Baby’s Gender Creates Fam Drama After Grandparents Insist On Knowing If It’s A Boy Or A Girl

Parents can be set in their ways, especially when there’s a traditional or cultural element involved. Even after you’ve left the house and proven you can actually be an adult, they often still feel entitled to aspects of your life you’d rather keep to yourself.

One woman was getting pressured by her Chinese in-laws to reveal the gender of her unborn baby, to the point where things were getting unreasonable. After endless badgering, the woman’s husband stepped in to lay down the law, but now the woman is asking an online community if holding out was a jerk move.

More info: Reddit

Parents-in-law can be the worst if they’re entitled, and this woman’s parents tried to take the whole cake

Pregnant woman sitting on bed, holding belly, illustrating traditional parents badgering about unborn grandchild gender.

Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Despite the fact that she preferred to keep the gender of her unborn baby a surprise, the traditional couple wouldn’t stop badgering her about it

Pregnant woman explains choosing to keep unborn child's gender a surprise amid traditional parents' pressure and son’s backlash.

Text from a user sharing a culture divide where traditional parents badger daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild's gender.

Elderly traditional parents discussing the unborn grandchild's gender while facing backlash from their son at home.

Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The elderly couple has already expressed their disdain at her parents’ “misfortune” for only having girls, leading her to think they’ve got a problem with a female baby

Text excerpt from a discussion about traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law over unborn grandchild’s gender and family backlash.

Pregnant woman faces pressure from traditional parents about unborn grandchild's gender, causing family tension and son’s backlash.

Text showing a son describes his FIL supporting the MIL's pressure on his husband about the unborn grandchild's gender.

Worried man sitting on bed holding head, representing traditional parents badgering DIL over unborn grandchild's gender.

Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The overbearing mother-in-law even tried turning on the waterworks, urging the father-in-law to slam his son for upsetting her so much

Pregnant daughter-in-law pressured by traditional parents about unborn grandchild’s gender, causing family tension and son’s backlash.

Text excerpt showing traditional parents pressuring daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild's gender, causing son’s backlash.

Text excerpt discussing traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild's gender, causing backlash from son.

Text excerpt discussing family tension and disrespect involving traditional parents and their son over unborn grandchild’s gender.

Image credits: Adorable_Willow_4984

Finally, the woman’s husband laid down the law, threatening to “burn down” his parents’ family tree, but now the woman has asked netizens if she’s the jerk for standing firm

At 27 years old, OP is 22 weeks pregnant and over the moon. She and her husband agreed they didn’t want to know their baby’s gender, since that didn’t really matter to them; they’d be happy either way. However, while they were all smiles, her mother-in-law had other ideas… and was not shy about expressing them loudly.

The problem didn’t start with the pregnancy. OP, who is Caucasian, says her Chinese in-laws have always made comments about her being one of six girls, calling her family “unlucky” for not having a boy. Meanwhile, they bragged about having a son on their first try. She usually ignored it, but it still stung.

Once she got pregnant, things escalated fast. Her MIL started pushing to know the baby’s gender and even cried when told it would be a surprise. OP fears how her in-laws will react if the baby is a girl. Her husband is supportive, but the pressure is clearly threatening to grind him down too.

In an edit to her original post, OP shares that when her in-laws stopped by (uninvited) to push the gender issue again, she braced herself to intervene, but it was her husband who shocked everyone. He told them the baby’s gender was none of their business and, if they kept pushing, any future sons would take her last name. He even threatened to “burn” the whole family tree before showing them the door.

Worried middle-aged woman sitting on couch, reflecting tension from traditional parents badgering about unborn grandchild gender.

Image credits: itchaznong / Freepik (not the actual photo)

From what OP tells us in her post, her in-laws are a classic case of entitled and overbearing parents who haven’t got a clue about boundaries. If you’ve ever had to deal with an insufferable in-law, you can probably relate. So, what’s the best way to deal with a toxic in-law? We went looking for answers.

In her article for Marriage, Rachael Pace writes that managing relationships with in-laws can be tricky, especially when they start to feel more like toxic in-laws. According to Pace, sometimes understanding what’s happening is the first step toward finding a way through it. Clear signs of toxic in-laws include constant criticism, boundary violations, undermining your parenting, and playing the victim. 

In her article for BalancedMinds, Sanah Kotadia recommends a few effective strategies for setting boundaries with problematic parents-in-law, including communicating beforehand with your partner so you’re both on the same page, setting boundaries early in the relationship, remaining respectful and empathetic, reinforcing boundaries consistently, and following through with consequences if boundaries are crossed.  

While his parents might be offended, we’d say OP’s hubby stepped in at just the right moment. At the very least, they’ll think twice before pushing the gender agenda again and leave the couple in peace – at least until their grandkid actually arrives, that is.

What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Have you got your own story of unhinged in-laws? Let us know in the comments!

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about traditional parents badgering DIL over unborn grandchild’s gender, causing family tension.

Screenshot of online discussion where traditional parents badger daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild's gender, son reacts strongly.

Comments from an online discussion about traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law over unborn grandchild’s gender and son’s backlash.

Screenshot of an online discussion about traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law on unborn grandchild’s gender.

Comments discussing traditional parents pressuring daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild’s gender, causing family conflict.

Comment about traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law over unborn grandchild's gender, facing backlash from son.

Reddit comment discussing traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild's gender and son’s backlash.

Commenter shares experience with traditional parents pressuring about unborn grandchild’s gender and family tension ensuing.

Comment thread discussing traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law about the unborn grandchild’s gender with a son’s frustrated response.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing traditional parents badgering daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild’s gender, with backlash.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing traditional parents pressuring daughter-in-law about unborn grandchild's gender.

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