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People Are Applauding This Dad For Not Letting Andrew Tate Nonsense Get Into His Son’s Head
Taking care of one’s home is not a “his” or “hers” responsibility; unless, of course, that’s the mutually agreed-upon arrangement in the household.
When there isn’t an arrangement, it shouldn’t be assumed that the females will take care of everything. Yet this redditor’s son believed that that should be the case, as he believed that chores are a woman’s responsibility and that “only simps do simple household chores”. After hearing that, his father decided to teach the young man a lesson, teaming up with his ex-wife to do it.
Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a clinical psychologist, author, wellness coach, and mental health advocate, Dr. Monica Vermani, who was kind enough to share her insight on the importance of fair division of chores.
RELATED:
Ideally, chores shouldn’t fall on the shoulders of one household member only
Image credits: rantaimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This netizen’s 16yo son believed that “chores are a woman’s job” and that “only failed men do stuff like this”
Image credits: Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: rborzin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The OP later edited the post to provide more context regarding the situation
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Low_Affect3539
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In many households, there is still inequality when it comes to the division of chores
If you live in a home, you should take care of said home. In a perfect world, chores should be as simple as that, and everyone should be happy to do them. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and funny-tweets/”>chores are a pain in the neck, yet we still have to do them.
In many households, most of the chores—or the responsibilities regarding them—fall on the shoulders of one unfortunate individual, oftentimes the woman in the family. If she’s not doing them herself, she might be responsible for assigning tasks to family members or pointing out what needs to be done to kids who made the mistake of complaining of “having nothing to do” to their parents. (Many of us likely know just how quickly moms and dads can give you something “fun” to do.)
Discussing such responsibilities and the importance of division of chores, clinical psychologist and mental health advocate Dr. Monica Vermani noted that today, even as many families rely on two incomes, women still carry an unfair burden of hands-on family and household chores.
“They also carry the significant weight of what is known as the mental load (also known as invisible load or cognitive load) of planning, overseeing, anticipating, and managing the physical, logistical, and emotional needs and plans for the household and everyone in it. Often, as parents age, this unfair physical and mental load expands to include eldercare,” the expert told Bored Panda.
“The results of this unfair burden can be devastating to intimate partner relationships. The partner doing an unfair share of the hands-on word and mental load feels disrespected, taken advantage of, tired, stressed, and unappreciated. [In the setting of a romantic relationship,] the resulting resentment leads to decreased levels of intimacy, a lack of connection, and the dissolution of the partnership or the marriage.”
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many young adults don’t feel ready to tackle such tasks as cleaning after leaving home
Dr. Vermani continued to point out that a healthy relationship is one where both individuals are valued and feel safe and respected. It’s safe to assume that, unless taught a lesson (which his parenting/”>parents set out to do), the young man might hold on to his views regarding chores even later in life, which might negatively affect the relationships he might form in the future.
Such predispositions regarding chores can definitely have a negative effect on his life and his ability to take care of himself in the chapters succeeding his teenage years. In the comments under the post, netizens pointed out that unless taught how to do chores, the young man would not be able to take care of himself at the university, for instance.
The OP shared that his son’s inability to handle himself at university was also in the back of his mind when he decided to try to change his child’s views regarding chores. And he’s not the only parent worried about their kid not being able to look after themselves after having left home.
According to a survey released by the American Cleaning Institute (ACI), close to three-in-four college parents (74%) believe that their children are “not completely prepared to clean on their own”. The youngsters themselves seemingly think so, too, as roughly as many (72%, as of 2022) admitted feeling less than completely prepared to tackle the responsibility of cleaning on their own.
Such data emphasizes just how important it is to teach children to take care of—and clean up after—themselves, which ought to come in handy in the future, be it in relationships or surviving uni. Fellow netizens applauded the dad’s determination to teach his son a lesson, even if later rather than sooner; however, some believed that the way he did, it wasn’t the best, as he relayed most of the responsibility on the woman, circling back to the initial issue of women bearing the larger share of the load.
He also shared more information in the comments
Netizens applauded the way the parents teamed up on teaching the young man a lesson
Some people believed the father was a jerk in the situation
Some netizens believed that everyone was at fault here
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What do you think ?
Helena 1 year ago
You gotta squash that andrew tate sht hard. Not only learning stuff like chores, but basic respect for 50% of the population and history seems to be in order.
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
Exactly, the parents did a great job weeding out the alpha macho bull$hit before it, hopefully, rooted inside him permanently. Signed, a "simp" who voluntarily learned to cook so his mother has less work to do.
Load More Replies...
zatrisha 1 year ago
Little guy has some very important things to learn if he wont end up loneley and aggressive like all the other incels
RP 1 year ago
Chores are a good first step but this b******t comes from social media and that needs to be addressed. He needs to be without a phone asap and with absolutely no unsupervised internet access but also be given an alternative to it in the form of real interactions with sane people. Let him pick from a range of suitable extra curriculars / volunteer work (pre-vibe checked by you) with social media time earned back via (for instance, through appropriate reading tasks, like biographies of interesting women).
Susical 1 year ago
Unfortunately, I don't think it's that easy to remove the phone/internet when dealing with an older kid. He's 16, & he's going to find a way to engage with the internet. Plus, his real world friends may be consuming this same sexist b******t. Somehow, the parents need to work with him, & hopefully his therapist, to put this hateful rhetoric in some kind of context. I'm not sure how to do that though - it's a complicated situation.
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Andrew Tate can go f**k himself—-and he’s going to be the only one who will. Now that I have vented about that, I just want to say that I never understood why parents of boys didn’t always teach them basic housekeeping and cooking skills. It’s just plain old common sense. They’re going to live on their own for a portion of their adult lives, either before, between, or after being married. Since the seventies (and before, of course, but two income families became more commonly accepted in the seventies), women simply expect to work after getting married. The extra income is necessary to make ends meet, ffs. So a wife isn’t going to be home all day, with that extra 40 +/- hours per week to do the lion’s share of housework and childcare. Therefore, her husband has to share those duties, which necessitates knowing how to do them. Otherwise, she ends up with an additional helpless child to take care of—-one who’s old enough to do it himself, ffs. So yes, teach ALL your kids how to cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, budget and pay bills, and do basic maintenance around the house and yard, as well as simple maintenance and repairs on the car. When I say all your kids need to learn all those skills, I mean ALL your kids, boys and girls. How else do you think they’ll become truly self-sufficient adults, and not whiny, helpless burdens on everyone else, or end up being cheated and robbed blind by repair people and cleaners, as well as bankrupted by living on takeout?
Bette 1 year ago
It interesting that the OP father - who owns up to his shortcomings and does coparent and communicate well with his ex - chooses a punishment he feels that fits the altercation. Yet he is slammed for ducking his responsibility as a parent by all the YTA commenter's who judge from outside the actual situation. Did I miss his explanation where OP states that "(I) ....might have acted in haste, but I wanted my son to see the chores done by a woman are the same ones I do in my home." His ex agreed with him.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
The only thing Andrew Prostate teaches is how to be an abusive rapist and a loser in life.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Not giving your kids chores when they're young is a failure on many parents, not just OP + his ex. 4 + 5-yr-olds can help set the table, pull the covers up on their beds, put their toys away, put their clothes in the laundry basket, etc.
UpupaEpops 1 year ago
Every time I hear that chores are for women, I wonder if that man has ever had to spend just 2 weeks alone? Do they live in squalor? Are they living on toast? Are they throwing out their clothes after wearing them? Buying new bedding on a weekly basis? Are they eating off paper plates so they don't have to wash them? Seriously. Like what's going on? Because let me tell you, it's not my rich friends that I'm hearing this b******t from. It's people who can't afford 3 takeouts a day and a maid to go with it.
Jessie 11 months ago
Those guys believe a woman should be a free maid and cook so they can have a lifestyle they can’t afford (because they don’t have the money to hire a maid)
Load More Replies...
Abraxas59 1 year ago
Def NTA perfect parenting I 60f have two kids 23-20 the youngest is a lad and like his sister growing up I thought them both how to cook from an early age how to clean how to decorate lay floors hung wall paper do flat pack n the like lol how to iron how to wash the works I grew up with my grandparents from 8 mths old I was taught to cook and could n had to make meals from age 12 n run the house as my grandmother had stage 4 cancer n my grandfather was hmm less said about that the better ! But as she’s taught me how to do all this it was easy so when I had my son I vowed to make sure he was also able to do this plus more there is nothing he can’t turn his hand to now literally I even taught him how to strip a car engine down lol he’s rebuilt his first car and his respect for females is top notch so op you did a bloody good thing and both you and your ex are dam good parents blessed be
Chich 1 year ago
Retired firefighter, also was a ski patroller/instructor, paratrooper & logger amongst other things through life. I just finished the dishes and will shortly be folding clothes from the dryer. Taught my son housework so he could look after himself and not be a useless whinny "alpha" twat.
Helena 1 year ago
You gotta squash that andrew tate sht hard. Not only learning stuff like chores, but basic respect for 50% of the population and history seems to be in order.
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
Exactly, the parents did a great job weeding out the alpha macho bull$hit before it, hopefully, rooted inside him permanently. Signed, a "simp" who voluntarily learned to cook so his mother has less work to do.
Load More Replies... zatrisha 1 year ago
Little guy has some very important things to learn if he wont end up loneley and aggressive like all the other incels
RP 1 year ago
Chores are a good first step but this b******t comes from social media and that needs to be addressed. He needs to be without a phone asap and with absolutely no unsupervised internet access but also be given an alternative to it in the form of real interactions with sane people. Let him pick from a range of suitable extra curriculars / volunteer work (pre-vibe checked by you) with social media time earned back via (for instance, through appropriate reading tasks, like biographies of interesting women).
Susical 1 year ago
Unfortunately, I don't think it's that easy to remove the phone/internet when dealing with an older kid. He's 16, & he's going to find a way to engage with the internet. Plus, his real world friends may be consuming this same sexist b******t. Somehow, the parents need to work with him, & hopefully his therapist, to put this hateful rhetoric in some kind of context. I'm not sure how to do that though - it's a complicated situation.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Andrew Tate can go f**k himself—-and he’s going to be the only one who will. Now that I have vented about that, I just want to say that I never understood why parents of boys didn’t always teach them basic housekeeping and cooking skills. It’s just plain old common sense. They’re going to live on their own for a portion of their adult lives, either before, between, or after being married. Since the seventies (and before, of course, but two income families became more commonly accepted in the seventies), women simply expect to work after getting married. The extra income is necessary to make ends meet, ffs. So a wife isn’t going to be home all day, with that extra 40 +/- hours per week to do the lion’s share of housework and childcare. Therefore, her husband has to share those duties, which necessitates knowing how to do them. Otherwise, she ends up with an additional helpless child to take care of—-one who’s old enough to do it himself, ffs. So yes, teach ALL your kids how to cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, budget and pay bills, and do basic maintenance around the house and yard, as well as simple maintenance and repairs on the car. When I say all your kids need to learn all those skills, I mean ALL your kids, boys and girls. How else do you think they’ll become truly self-sufficient adults, and not whiny, helpless burdens on everyone else, or end up being cheated and robbed blind by repair people and cleaners, as well as bankrupted by living on takeout?
Bette 1 year ago
It interesting that the OP father - who owns up to his shortcomings and does coparent and communicate well with his ex - chooses a punishment he feels that fits the altercation. Yet he is slammed for ducking his responsibility as a parent by all the YTA commenter's who judge from outside the actual situation. Did I miss his explanation where OP states that "(I) ....might have acted in haste, but I wanted my son to see the chores done by a woman are the same ones I do in my home." His ex agreed with him.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
The only thing Andrew Prostate teaches is how to be an abusive rapist and a loser in life.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Not giving your kids chores when they're young is a failure on many parents, not just OP + his ex. 4 + 5-yr-olds can help set the table, pull the covers up on their beds, put their toys away, put their clothes in the laundry basket, etc.
UpupaEpops 1 year ago
Every time I hear that chores are for women, I wonder if that man has ever had to spend just 2 weeks alone? Do they live in squalor? Are they living on toast? Are they throwing out their clothes after wearing them? Buying new bedding on a weekly basis? Are they eating off paper plates so they don't have to wash them? Seriously. Like what's going on? Because let me tell you, it's not my rich friends that I'm hearing this b******t from. It's people who can't afford 3 takeouts a day and a maid to go with it.
Jessie 11 months ago
Those guys believe a woman should be a free maid and cook so they can have a lifestyle they can’t afford (because they don’t have the money to hire a maid)
Load More Replies... Abraxas59 1 year ago
Def NTA perfect parenting I 60f have two kids 23-20 the youngest is a lad and like his sister growing up I thought them both how to cook from an early age how to clean how to decorate lay floors hung wall paper do flat pack n the like lol how to iron how to wash the works I grew up with my grandparents from 8 mths old I was taught to cook and could n had to make meals from age 12 n run the house as my grandmother had stage 4 cancer n my grandfather was hmm less said about that the better ! But as she’s taught me how to do all this it was easy so when I had my son I vowed to make sure he was also able to do this plus more there is nothing he can’t turn his hand to now literally I even taught him how to strip a car engine down lol he’s rebuilt his first car and his respect for females is top notch so op you did a bloody good thing and both you and your ex are dam good parents blessed be
Chich 1 year ago
Retired firefighter, also was a ski patroller/instructor, paratrooper & logger amongst other things through life. I just finished the dishes and will shortly be folding clothes from the dryer. Taught my son housework so he could look after himself and not be a useless whinny "alpha" twat.
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