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29
Guy Refuses To Change Travel Plans To Accommodate Brother’s Kids, Family Drama Ensues
Having a vacation planned can feel like a lifeline. Not only is it something to look forward to, it’s also something to daydream about, as one often spends hours thinking about all the things they’ll get to see, taste, and experience.
For this redditor, such daydreaming entailed the thoughts of climbing mountains, meeting up with friends, and enjoying all that Colorado has to offer. However, these images started fading away when the OP’s brother suggested that he took his niece and nephew along on the trip.
Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a licensed counselor and expert in family relationships, Chair and Professor at the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University, Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
RELATED:
Spending time with nieces and nephews is important
Image credits: Janko Ferlič / unsplash (not the actual photo)
But that doesn’t mean they should be taken along everywhere
Image credits: andrew shelley / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ohiosucksforhiking
For those interested in outdoor activities, Colorado is an excellent destination
For fans of outdoor activities, Colorado is definitely a paradise on Earth. There’s a reason the Outside Magazine deemed it the most adventurous state in the Mountain West and one of the eight most adventurous states in the entire US. Some sources suggest that as much as 92% of Colorado residents participate in outdoor recreation every year. Other sources state that 80% of Colorado natives say that outdoor recreation is an important part of their personal well-being.
It’s safe to assume that a big part of said outdoor recreation is climbing. According to the Outside Magazine, the state is “a mecca for climbers,” boasting more than 30,000 established climbing routes, so it’s no surprise that the OP was looking forward to his climbing trip there. However, according to Professor Suzanne Degges-White, a climbing trip with two children can be quite a challenge for someone other than their parent or a person who’s used to looking after them.
“It is unreasonable to expect a single, 26-year-old person to change their vacation plans to single handedly manage two children on a cross-country trip. Having to ensure two young kids don’t get lost or two older kids don’t wander off in the forest, on the mountain, along the trail, at the rest stops, or in the airports is a pretty big ask of anyone,” the expert noted.
“It’s also interesting that someone is being asked to step in as a full-time caregiver, yet they only see the kids every few weeks. Being the ‘Fun Uncle’ is one thing, if you stop by occasionally, but being expected to be a ‘solo parent’ on a much anticipated vacation is totally different.”
It’s important to be able to set healthy boundaries, even when it comes to family members
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, one of the reasons why some parents might expect their adult siblings to take their nieces and nephews on outings together is much-needed “time off.” “Parenting is hard work and it’s really a 24/7 job, so the idea of having someone else take over for a few days can be very, very appealing for even the most invested of parents,” she told Bored Panda. “Some people also often feel like blood ties are equivalent to lifelong obligations that mean that siblings are expected to help siblings no matter what the need might be.”
That’s why it’s important to set clear boundaries, even when it comes to brothers and sisters and their kids. The expert pointed out that boundaries play a significant role not only with family, but with friends or at the workplace, too.
“While some people love to be the ‘hero’ for their families, it’s not a role that everyone wants, and always saying ‘yes’ can lead to resentment over time and actually do more to harm the relationship than help it,” Prof. Degges-White said. “And asking others for help with kids should only be done with folks who enjoy that role or in truly emergency situations when help is desperately and legitimately needed.”
It’s not uncommon for aunts and uncles to be the emergency contacts in unexpected situations. However, that often depends on the relationships they have with their siblings and the latters’ children. Talking about the role that aunts and uncles play in the lives of their nephews’ and nieces’, Dr. Suzanne Degges-White noted that every family is different and there is no one way that aunts and uncles should engage with their siblings’ kids.
“The role is likely affected by the sibling relationship that already exists – if siblings are close, the uncle and aunt role may reflect the same level of closeness and engagement. If there are family expectations on the roles that aunts and uncles play, that can influence the relationship with nieces and nephews, as well. It’s really wonderful when aunts, uncles, and other extended family members play a role in the lives of children – it helps them feel grounded and they learn about the value of family through the ways in which their family interacts.
“It’s never good to make assumptions, though, about what role other people want to play in the lives of one’s children,” she added. “There may be legitimate reasons that aunts or uncles cannot ‘be there’ in the way that a sibling wants them to be, and healthy relationships reflect the respecting of others’ healthy boundaries.”
The OP shared more details in the comments
Quite a few netizens didn’t think he was being a jerk in the situation
Some redditors, however, didn’t agree with the Colorado-native
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What do you think ?
Earthquake903 6 months ago
It's your fault for forcing them to have kids. Very irresponsible of you. Jerk thing to do really. Take responsibility for your actions and attach your niece and nephew to your back while you climb like you know you should!
Kate Johnson 6 months ago
Sorry, no one is obligated to change their plans to give your kids a free vacation. Talk about delusionally entitled.
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago (edited)
This is from 3 years ago. And I didn't read it all but Colorado is awesome! I moved here two years ago and I love it. It's so beautiful, lots of breweries, lots of hiking trails, you can rock climb, we've got great protection for workers and one of the few states that has mandatory PAID maternity and paternity leave. It was also the first state with legal recreational maríjuana and we have "natural medicine" (the second state in the nation, after Oregon, to legalize psilocybin mushrooms for personal use or use by healing centers). And we're one of the few states in the Union that has proper women's health care as abortion in Colorado is legal at all stages of pregnancy. It is one of seven states without any term restrictions as to when a pregnancy can be terminated. Anyway, done my love letter to Colorado. 😁
Floeckchen 6 months ago (edited)
Also Colorado didn't vote for orange boy and South Park is located there. Not the only reasons but Colorado would propably my goto destination if I'd ever travel to the US
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Janelle Collard 6 months ago (edited)
Not OP's circus, not his monkeys. *No one* told bro to marry + have kids - they're his + wifey's responsibility. OP's 26 - he gets to do what *he* wants with his life. Hope he was able to move to Colorado.
Jumping Jellyfishes 6 months ago
A simple "no". Do not engage in any discussions after that. "Settle down" should be an archaic term.
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Emilu 6 months ago
As an Aussie native who’s never lived for an extended period out of Aus I have no idea re. Colorado versus Ohio, but this is your holiday and you should do whatever TF you want. If that involves no kids, so be it. If your bro can’t afford a holiday for his kids, sucks to be him/them, but no holiday. The kids won’t wither and die. I only had two major holidays in my childhood and guess what, I’m still here!
Do-nut touch da donut 6 months ago (edited)
Never been to ohio, but i dont hear anything about it either so its prolly pretty broing... colorado is very moutainous and cooler, allowing for a wide range of hobbies and experiences
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Kyra Noelle 6 months ago
Growing up we were so poor the only vacations we had was floating done a river in innertubes and maybe camping for a weekend. That was it! Vacations are luxuries if they can't do it then tough luck!
Betsy S 6 months ago
I'm confused about the whole "children REQUIRE an out of town vacation every year" point. He can't afford to take them on a vacation, so he absolutely MUST find someone else who can take them or they'll miss an annual vacation. Talk about first-world problems. My kids got to go to one-week sleep-away camp. That was their vacation. When my eldest was turning 18, I knew we'd never have a chance to have a family vacation again, as she was leaving home for college, so I took them camping. That's it. NO ONE is entitled to an annual away from home vacation. This BIL is deluded and he's obviously bringing up his kids in the same way.
Mimi M 6 months ago
Hope the guy sticks to his guns, don't know why he got so much negativity (esp on original post).
Sue User 6 months ago
Because expressing a preference for a body type is apparently right up there with killing puppies. If you are FOR something, that must mean I am against the opposite, right ? ( Sarcasm ). Judt becsuse I love cold milk does meam i hate hot milk. The obesity rate in Colorado is half that of Ohio.
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abbie allbee 6 months ago
Listen young man, I'm now 50 and disabled, didn't stop living your life young or you may get to old to enjoy it. Don't let life pass you by.
Jessica N 6 months ago
Chubby in Wi, not Ohio, but people are getting stupidly offended. People prefer what they prefer mate wise and there's nothing wrong with that. I do think he could have said prefers fellow mountaineers just to not offend the people who seek to be pearl clutchers but even as i write this i realize people will seek ways to be offended. Guy is definitely not in the wrong here. His trips are mentally and fiscally planned for, including meeting up with friends his own age to mountain climb, hit up breweries and prob some other stuff that's legal fun if one is over 21. Brother and Mom and foot the bill for a separate bonding vacay elsewhere if bonding is their stance. Which it isn't.
Rika 6 months ago
I keep hearing about how it's so expensive to just birth a kid in the US, but so many of those AITA posts are about people popping out kids and then expecting someone else to care for them full time... To each their own, but if I were willing to pay 30k to have a kid, I wouldn't be handing them out to anyone.
Ravioli 6 months ago
Lol Ohio Is so middle of f-ing nowhere that people from Colorado feel like Colorado is somewhere.
tori Ohno 6 months ago
I agree that the OP should live his life the way he wants, but he sure is snotty and rude about it. He disparaged a whole state full of people just because he doesn't want to live there. Do something about it! But don't keep slamming strangers because you don't feel they're "up to your standards".
James Pasky 6 months ago
Tell your brother/SIL about a short long distance trip. To the Youngstown Ohio area for hiking. Mill Creek Park. Beautiful trails and scenery, as well as Ford Nature Museum. Also Buhl Museum for regular/high-tech art work (holograms and related)
James Pasky 6 months ago
EDIT to yesterdays post: My bad, I got one of the locations WRONG. Its Butler Museum, on the edge of downtown Youngstown, and near the Youngstown State University. Buhl is a planetarium in the YSU campus, that offers astronomy classes to YSU student, as well as local high schools. They are also open to the public. Check for availability. Sorry for the confussion.
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dewittjoy 6 months ago
Good grief, your family is way too involved in what you’re doing. You do not owe these kids a trip. “Not your circus, not your monkeys.” You are young, footloose & fancy free, & the fact that even your mom is telling you to “settle down” is way out of line. Obviously you work, support yourself and have your own interests and hobbies. You don’t have kids & while you may love your niece & nephew dearly, it’s extremely intrusive of your brother to even ask you to take them on a trip with you. To add insult to injury, he then badgers you about it and gripes at you for not agreeing. They need to figure out how to take a couple of long weekend trips with their kids. It is not on you to provide any kind of trips with their kids. Do your own thing & ignore their reactions.
Susan Schlee 6 months ago (edited)
Honestly, he sounds pretty "settled" to me since he has plans and aspirations for the future, and he works to support himself and to further his plans. Once again, the sibling who CHOSE to have 2 kids is jealous of the single, childless sibling who's acting like a perfectly responsible adult and living their own life! Just because you're family and single, and another family member chose to have kids, DOES NOT mean the single adult automatically becomes the built in babysitter for the other family member's offspring!
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Spittnimage 6 months ago
Oh big deal those poor kids won't get a vacation this year if uncle doesn't take them. Let the life teachings begin - you can't always get what you want! It's probably brother wants a vacation from his kids so trying to push them off on bro.
Patricia Grande 6 months ago
The guy is right about Ohio. There’s really nothing to do there. The guy should live his life how he sees fit.
David Houde 6 months ago
Ohio is pretty bad. It's boring even to drive through to get to another state. I'd say the only state worse in that regard is Nebraska.
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David Houde 6 months ago (edited)
Totally agree that the kids are not his concern. However, when reading the article I kept thinking that this guy is such an insufferable jerk. Not because he wouldn't take the kids, just his attitude in general.
Sarah Suelzle 6 months ago (edited)
This is absurd. If you choose to have kids, you no longer get to do all the things you got to do before you had them; and to guilt trip your 26-year-old brother into taking them on his trip for 2 weeks? What is wrong with these people? I think this is yet another reason (although maybe a minor one) why so many people are choosing not to have children. 1) It seems like the people that do have them expect everyone else to either take care of them or constantly accommodate them 2) kids don't get to do everything adults do all the time because they are kids; when they get to be grown ups, they can do grown up stuff too. My folks used to tell me that I could do something when I was older but not right now. Why does no one tell there kids no anymore? 😒
Kali Chaos 6 months ago (edited)
NTA, Little Bear is one of my faves but it's a hard hike, not cut out for small children. Swing by and say hey if you find yourself in the Denver art district or Grand Lake next year, we're in the process of moving and creating a commune (which sounds kinda cultish but nah, we just want to build something positive and gtfo of Iowa.)
Janine Randall 6 months ago
What 16 & 13 yo wants to be away from their friends and possibly the internet for 2 weeks? Saying they miss you is pure emotional manipulation by bro. Go, have fun, do what you want and tell bro manipulating you is off the table.
KYLE 6 months ago
The sheer fact the niece & nephew weren't invited on this trip, should have been the crystal clear indicator their presence was never being considered. Also side note .... Awwww the kids don't get fancy vacation for one year. Boo freakin' Hoo. How spoiled is it to EXPECT a yearly vacation.
z7zhwnjprh 6 months ago
Not your kids - not your problem! Let the grandparents do a vacation trip with them.
AngelWingsYT 6 months ago
"Settle down n take care of our teen kids for us" Wow n they call OP entitled xD
WYSIWYG 111 6 months ago
No is a complete sentence. You don't need to justify your vacation to anyone.
Roberta Surprenant 6 months ago
Back in my day there were places known as summer camps. Parents could send children there for a few weeks while they stayed home and worked.
sweet emotion 6 months ago (edited)
You know what, in the first fifteen years of my life, my family went on three vacations. Three. I guess my parents were selfishly hoarding money to pay the mortgage and put food on the table or some such nonsense. Vacations are not a necessity of life and children need to learn that lesson along with all the other lessons of good financial planning - and parents need to stop weaponizing their children when they themselves don't or can't budget their own vacations. OP is not the AH. Also, congrats to OP for planning his escape from the Queen City. I did 11 months of hard time (not prison, just life) in Cincy and the only good thing that ever came out of that cow town was WKRP.
Sandy D 6 months ago
I have just one question; what part of "NO" doesn't your family understand??? And, as for your Mother saying you needed to settle down, that's terrible advise coming from a Mother or anyone....at the age of 26?!?! When you're young and before you're ready to settle down is exactly when you're supposed to do the the fun things that will be almost impossible to do later in life. I think your brother is so selfish to even ask you to give up your dream!! Has your brother brought this trip up in front of his kids? I'd bet my bottom dollar that he has!! Fir the kids sake, I hope he hasn't because that's very bad parenting to set his children up to be disappointed and have hurt feelings toward you. It's time to make your feelings VERY CLEAR. If they still push, get up and leave or hang up on them...tell them first what you will do the next time it's brought up, then follow through. Otherwise, they're going to spoil this trip for you.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 6 months ago
By fit i thought OP meant physically attractive not like... literally fit
Darthest Starfish 6 months ago
NTA, but this guy sounds like an unbearable, insufferable, d*******g. Like, mega d*******g.
Katharina Sei. 6 months ago
So, the OP (26) had to move before he climbed all 14000 ft (~4200m) mountains and wants to make up for it. He doesn't want to take his brother's 13 and 16 year olds with him. So far so good, his right and reasonable that he doesn't want to take the kids on a risky mountain trip. It's funny that his brother then demands that he helps him and adjusts his plans. Almost as if he owes him something. On the other hand, you can assume that the brother is probably at least 33 (assumption: 1st child at 17 & probably working since then). The father has died and the mother is disabled. I therefore assume that the older brother, probably at least 7 years older, also had to take care of his little brother a lot, probably also supporting him financially. (I've heard that in the USA there isn't usually much support for tough cases. ) In view of this, I don't think the request is exaggerated. Also, from the way he writes about the country and the people, I think the OP is a Kackbratze.
BrownEyedPanda 6 months ago
Something that I noticed was not addressed in the post: liability. What if either or both children somehow got injured or sick? What would have been the protocol for that? Would Dad have come to Colorado, or expected OP to handle the situation? And what if the niece and/or nephew DEMANDED to go home, due to boredom? Who would be footing the bill for the aforementioned scenarios? Funny how THAT got left out of the equation.
Mary Anne Lanfranchi 6 months ago
Run for Colorado but before you do stock up on white castles malts from united dairy farmers and opera creams because you'll probably never go back!
MyQueenGirl_72 6 months ago
I like the first picture I actually love to spend time with my nephew cause he's so cute
Earthquake903 6 months ago
It's your fault for forcing them to have kids. Very irresponsible of you. Jerk thing to do really. Take responsibility for your actions and attach your niece and nephew to your back while you climb like you know you should!
Kate Johnson 6 months ago
Sorry, no one is obligated to change their plans to give your kids a free vacation. Talk about delusionally entitled.
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago (edited)
This is from 3 years ago. And I didn't read it all but Colorado is awesome! I moved here two years ago and I love it. It's so beautiful, lots of breweries, lots of hiking trails, you can rock climb, we've got great protection for workers and one of the few states that has mandatory PAID maternity and paternity leave. It was also the first state with legal recreational maríjuana and we have "natural medicine" (the second state in the nation, after Oregon, to legalize psilocybin mushrooms for personal use or use by healing centers). And we're one of the few states in the Union that has proper women's health care as abortion in Colorado is legal at all stages of pregnancy. It is one of seven states without any term restrictions as to when a pregnancy can be terminated. Anyway, done my love letter to Colorado. 😁
Floeckchen 6 months ago (edited)
Also Colorado didn't vote for orange boy and South Park is located there. Not the only reasons but Colorado would propably my goto destination if I'd ever travel to the US
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 6 months ago (edited)
Not OP's circus, not his monkeys. *No one* told bro to marry + have kids - they're his + wifey's responsibility. OP's 26 - he gets to do what *he* wants with his life. Hope he was able to move to Colorado.
Jumping Jellyfishes 6 months ago
A simple "no". Do not engage in any discussions after that. "Settle down" should be an archaic term.
Load More Replies... Emilu 6 months ago
As an Aussie native who’s never lived for an extended period out of Aus I have no idea re. Colorado versus Ohio, but this is your holiday and you should do whatever TF you want. If that involves no kids, so be it. If your bro can’t afford a holiday for his kids, sucks to be him/them, but no holiday. The kids won’t wither and die. I only had two major holidays in my childhood and guess what, I’m still here!
Do-nut touch da donut 6 months ago (edited)
Never been to ohio, but i dont hear anything about it either so its prolly pretty broing... colorado is very moutainous and cooler, allowing for a wide range of hobbies and experiences
Load More Replies... Kyra Noelle 6 months ago
Growing up we were so poor the only vacations we had was floating done a river in innertubes and maybe camping for a weekend. That was it! Vacations are luxuries if they can't do it then tough luck!
Betsy S 6 months ago
I'm confused about the whole "children REQUIRE an out of town vacation every year" point. He can't afford to take them on a vacation, so he absolutely MUST find someone else who can take them or they'll miss an annual vacation. Talk about first-world problems. My kids got to go to one-week sleep-away camp. That was their vacation. When my eldest was turning 18, I knew we'd never have a chance to have a family vacation again, as she was leaving home for college, so I took them camping. That's it. NO ONE is entitled to an annual away from home vacation. This BIL is deluded and he's obviously bringing up his kids in the same way.
Mimi M 6 months ago
Hope the guy sticks to his guns, don't know why he got so much negativity (esp on original post).
Sue User 6 months ago
Because expressing a preference for a body type is apparently right up there with killing puppies. If you are FOR something, that must mean I am against the opposite, right ? ( Sarcasm ). Judt becsuse I love cold milk does meam i hate hot milk. The obesity rate in Colorado is half that of Ohio.
Load More Replies... abbie allbee 6 months ago
Listen young man, I'm now 50 and disabled, didn't stop living your life young or you may get to old to enjoy it. Don't let life pass you by.
Jessica N 6 months ago
Chubby in Wi, not Ohio, but people are getting stupidly offended. People prefer what they prefer mate wise and there's nothing wrong with that. I do think he could have said prefers fellow mountaineers just to not offend the people who seek to be pearl clutchers but even as i write this i realize people will seek ways to be offended. Guy is definitely not in the wrong here. His trips are mentally and fiscally planned for, including meeting up with friends his own age to mountain climb, hit up breweries and prob some other stuff that's legal fun if one is over 21. Brother and Mom and foot the bill for a separate bonding vacay elsewhere if bonding is their stance. Which it isn't.
Rika 6 months ago
I keep hearing about how it's so expensive to just birth a kid in the US, but so many of those AITA posts are about people popping out kids and then expecting someone else to care for them full time... To each their own, but if I were willing to pay 30k to have a kid, I wouldn't be handing them out to anyone.
Ravioli 6 months ago
Lol Ohio Is so middle of f-ing nowhere that people from Colorado feel like Colorado is somewhere.
tori Ohno 6 months ago
I agree that the OP should live his life the way he wants, but he sure is snotty and rude about it. He disparaged a whole state full of people just because he doesn't want to live there. Do something about it! But don't keep slamming strangers because you don't feel they're "up to your standards".
James Pasky 6 months ago
Tell your brother/SIL about a short long distance trip. To the Youngstown Ohio area for hiking. Mill Creek Park. Beautiful trails and scenery, as well as Ford Nature Museum. Also Buhl Museum for regular/high-tech art work (holograms and related)
James Pasky 6 months ago
EDIT to yesterdays post: My bad, I got one of the locations WRONG. Its Butler Museum, on the edge of downtown Youngstown, and near the Youngstown State University. Buhl is a planetarium in the YSU campus, that offers astronomy classes to YSU student, as well as local high schools. They are also open to the public. Check for availability. Sorry for the confussion.
Load More Replies... dewittjoy 6 months ago
Good grief, your family is way too involved in what you’re doing. You do not owe these kids a trip. “Not your circus, not your monkeys.” You are young, footloose & fancy free, & the fact that even your mom is telling you to “settle down” is way out of line. Obviously you work, support yourself and have your own interests and hobbies. You don’t have kids & while you may love your niece & nephew dearly, it’s extremely intrusive of your brother to even ask you to take them on a trip with you. To add insult to injury, he then badgers you about it and gripes at you for not agreeing. They need to figure out how to take a couple of long weekend trips with their kids. It is not on you to provide any kind of trips with their kids. Do your own thing & ignore their reactions.
Susan Schlee 6 months ago (edited)
Honestly, he sounds pretty "settled" to me since he has plans and aspirations for the future, and he works to support himself and to further his plans. Once again, the sibling who CHOSE to have 2 kids is jealous of the single, childless sibling who's acting like a perfectly responsible adult and living their own life! Just because you're family and single, and another family member chose to have kids, DOES NOT mean the single adult automatically becomes the built in babysitter for the other family member's offspring!
Load More Replies... Spittnimage 6 months ago
Oh big deal those poor kids won't get a vacation this year if uncle doesn't take them. Let the life teachings begin - you can't always get what you want! It's probably brother wants a vacation from his kids so trying to push them off on bro.
Patricia Grande 6 months ago
The guy is right about Ohio. There’s really nothing to do there. The guy should live his life how he sees fit.
David Houde 6 months ago
Ohio is pretty bad. It's boring even to drive through to get to another state. I'd say the only state worse in that regard is Nebraska.
Load More Replies... David Houde 6 months ago (edited)
Totally agree that the kids are not his concern. However, when reading the article I kept thinking that this guy is such an insufferable jerk. Not because he wouldn't take the kids, just his attitude in general.
Sarah Suelzle 6 months ago (edited)
This is absurd. If you choose to have kids, you no longer get to do all the things you got to do before you had them; and to guilt trip your 26-year-old brother into taking them on his trip for 2 weeks? What is wrong with these people? I think this is yet another reason (although maybe a minor one) why so many people are choosing not to have children. 1) It seems like the people that do have them expect everyone else to either take care of them or constantly accommodate them 2) kids don't get to do everything adults do all the time because they are kids; when they get to be grown ups, they can do grown up stuff too. My folks used to tell me that I could do something when I was older but not right now. Why does no one tell there kids no anymore? 😒
Kali Chaos 6 months ago (edited)
NTA, Little Bear is one of my faves but it's a hard hike, not cut out for small children. Swing by and say hey if you find yourself in the Denver art district or Grand Lake next year, we're in the process of moving and creating a commune (which sounds kinda cultish but nah, we just want to build something positive and gtfo of Iowa.)
Janine Randall 6 months ago
What 16 & 13 yo wants to be away from their friends and possibly the internet for 2 weeks? Saying they miss you is pure emotional manipulation by bro. Go, have fun, do what you want and tell bro manipulating you is off the table.
KYLE 6 months ago
The sheer fact the niece & nephew weren't invited on this trip, should have been the crystal clear indicator their presence was never being considered. Also side note .... Awwww the kids don't get fancy vacation for one year. Boo freakin' Hoo. How spoiled is it to EXPECT a yearly vacation.
z7zhwnjprh 6 months ago
Not your kids - not your problem! Let the grandparents do a vacation trip with them.
AngelWingsYT 6 months ago
"Settle down n take care of our teen kids for us" Wow n they call OP entitled xD
WYSIWYG 111 6 months ago
No is a complete sentence. You don't need to justify your vacation to anyone.
Roberta Surprenant 6 months ago
Back in my day there were places known as summer camps. Parents could send children there for a few weeks while they stayed home and worked.
sweet emotion 6 months ago (edited)
You know what, in the first fifteen years of my life, my family went on three vacations. Three. I guess my parents were selfishly hoarding money to pay the mortgage and put food on the table or some such nonsense. Vacations are not a necessity of life and children need to learn that lesson along with all the other lessons of good financial planning - and parents need to stop weaponizing their children when they themselves don't or can't budget their own vacations. OP is not the AH. Also, congrats to OP for planning his escape from the Queen City. I did 11 months of hard time (not prison, just life) in Cincy and the only good thing that ever came out of that cow town was WKRP.
Sandy D 6 months ago
I have just one question; what part of "NO" doesn't your family understand??? And, as for your Mother saying you needed to settle down, that's terrible advise coming from a Mother or anyone....at the age of 26?!?! When you're young and before you're ready to settle down is exactly when you're supposed to do the the fun things that will be almost impossible to do later in life. I think your brother is so selfish to even ask you to give up your dream!! Has your brother brought this trip up in front of his kids? I'd bet my bottom dollar that he has!! Fir the kids sake, I hope he hasn't because that's very bad parenting to set his children up to be disappointed and have hurt feelings toward you. It's time to make your feelings VERY CLEAR. If they still push, get up and leave or hang up on them...tell them first what you will do the next time it's brought up, then follow through. Otherwise, they're going to spoil this trip for you.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 6 months ago
By fit i thought OP meant physically attractive not like... literally fit
Darthest Starfish 6 months ago
NTA, but this guy sounds like an unbearable, insufferable, d*******g. Like, mega d*******g.
Katharina Sei. 6 months ago
So, the OP (26) had to move before he climbed all 14000 ft (~4200m) mountains and wants to make up for it. He doesn't want to take his brother's 13 and 16 year olds with him. So far so good, his right and reasonable that he doesn't want to take the kids on a risky mountain trip. It's funny that his brother then demands that he helps him and adjusts his plans. Almost as if he owes him something. On the other hand, you can assume that the brother is probably at least 33 (assumption: 1st child at 17 & probably working since then). The father has died and the mother is disabled. I therefore assume that the older brother, probably at least 7 years older, also had to take care of his little brother a lot, probably also supporting him financially. (I've heard that in the USA there isn't usually much support for tough cases. ) In view of this, I don't think the request is exaggerated. Also, from the way he writes about the country and the people, I think the OP is a Kackbratze.
BrownEyedPanda 6 months ago
Something that I noticed was not addressed in the post: liability. What if either or both children somehow got injured or sick? What would have been the protocol for that? Would Dad have come to Colorado, or expected OP to handle the situation? And what if the niece and/or nephew DEMANDED to go home, due to boredom? Who would be footing the bill for the aforementioned scenarios? Funny how THAT got left out of the equation.
Mary Anne Lanfranchi 6 months ago
Run for Colorado but before you do stock up on white castles malts from united dairy farmers and opera creams because you'll probably never go back!
MyQueenGirl_72 6 months ago
I like the first picture I actually love to spend time with my nephew cause he's so cute
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