Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Guy Refuses To Change Travel Plans To Accommodate Brother’s Kids, Family Drama Ensues
Man wearing helmet rock climbing on a trip in Colorado, focusing on the outdoor adventure and safety gear.
29

Guy Refuses To Change Travel Plans To Accommodate Brother’s Kids, Family Drama Ensues

ADVERTISEMENT

Having a vacation planned can feel like a lifeline. Not only is it something to look forward to, it’s also something to daydream about, as one often spends hours thinking about all the things they’ll get to see, taste, and experience.

For this redditor, such daydreaming entailed the thoughts of climbing mountains, meeting up with friends, and enjoying all that Colorado has to offer. However, these images started fading away when the OP’s brother suggested that he took his niece and nephew along on the trip.

Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a licensed counselor and expert in family relationships, Chair and Professor at the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University, Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.

RELATED:

    Spending time with nieces and nephews is important

    Image credits: Janko Ferlič / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    But that doesn’t mean they should be taken along everywhere

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: andrew shelley / pexels (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: ohiosucksforhiking

    For those interested in outdoor activities, Colorado is an excellent destination

    For fans of outdoor activities, Colorado is definitely a paradise on Earth. There’s a reason the Outside Magazine deemed it the most adventurous state in the Mountain West and one of the eight most adventurous states in the entire US. Some sources suggest that as much as 92% of Colorado residents participate in outdoor recreation every year. Other sources state that 80% of Colorado natives say that outdoor recreation is an important part of their personal well-being.

    It’s safe to assume that a big part of said outdoor recreation is climbing. According to the Outside Magazine, the state is “a mecca for climbers,” boasting more than 30,000 established climbing routes, so it’s no surprise that the OP was looking forward to his climbing trip there. However, according to Professor Suzanne Degges-White, a climbing trip with two children can be quite a challenge for someone other than their parent or a person who’s used to looking after them.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    “It is unreasonable to expect a single, 26-year-old person to change their vacation plans to single handedly manage two children on a cross-country trip. Having to ensure two young kids don’t get lost or two older kids don’t wander off in the forest, on the mountain, along the trail, at the rest stops, or in the airports is a pretty big ask of anyone,” the expert noted.

    “It’s also interesting that someone is being asked to step in as a full-time caregiver, yet they only see the kids every few weeks. Being the ‘Fun Uncle’ is one thing, if you stop by occasionally, but being expected to be a ‘solo parent’ on a much anticipated vacation is totally different.”

    It’s important to be able to set healthy boundaries, even when it comes to family members

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    According to Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, one of the reasons why some parents might expect their adult siblings to take their nieces and nephews on outings together is much-needed “time off.” “Parenting is hard work and it’s really a 24/7 job, so the idea of having someone else take over for a few days can be very, very appealing for even the most invested of parents,” she told Bored Panda. “Some people also often feel like blood ties are equivalent to lifelong obligations that mean that siblings are expected to help siblings no matter what the need might be.”

    That’s why it’s important to set clear boundaries, even when it comes to brothers and sisters and their kids. The expert pointed out that boundaries play a significant role not only with family, but with friends or at the workplace, too.

    “While some people love to be the ‘hero’ for their families, it’s not a role that everyone wants, and always saying ‘yes’ can lead to resentment over time and actually do more to harm the relationship than help it,” Prof. Degges-White said. “And asking others for help with kids should only be done with folks who enjoy that role or in truly emergency situations when help is desperately and legitimately needed.”

    ADVERTISEMENT

    It’s not uncommon for aunts and uncles to be the emergency contacts in unexpected situations. However, that often depends on the relationships they have with their siblings and the latters’ children. Talking about the role that aunts and uncles play in the lives of their nephews’ and nieces’, Dr. Suzanne Degges-White noted that every family is different and there is no one way that aunts and uncles should engage with their siblings’ kids.

    “The role is likely affected by the sibling relationship that already exists – if siblings are close, the uncle and aunt role may reflect the same level of closeness and engagement. If there are family expectations on the roles that aunts and uncles play, that can influence the relationship with nieces and nephews, as well. It’s really wonderful when aunts, uncles, and other extended family members play a role in the lives of children – it helps them feel grounded and they learn about the value of family through the ways in which their family interacts.

    “It’s never good to make assumptions, though, about what role other people want to play in the lives of one’s children,” she added. “There may be legitimate reasons that aunts or uncles cannot ‘be there’ in the way that a sibling wants them to be, and healthy relationships reflect the respecting of others’ healthy boundaries.”

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    The OP shared more details in the comments

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Quite a few netizens didn’t think he was being a jerk in the situation

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Some redditors, however, didn’t agree with the Colorado-native

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Ic_polls

    Poll Question

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Share on Facebook
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Gabija Palšytė

    Gabija Palšytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

    Read less »

    Gabija Palšytė

    Gabija Palšytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

    Read less »

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

    What do you think ?
    User avatar
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Earthquake903
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's your fault for forcing them to have kids. Very irresponsible of you. Jerk thing to do really. Take responsibility for your actions and attach your niece and nephew to your back while you climb like you know you should!

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, no one is obligated to change their plans to give your kids a free vacation. Talk about delusionally entitled.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, the fact is that the kids are brother and SIL's "reality" (ie responsibility) and it chafes. They need to send the kids to summer camp and stop nagging other people about taking them on.

    Load More Comments
    Earthquake903
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's your fault for forcing them to have kids. Very irresponsible of you. Jerk thing to do really. Take responsibility for your actions and attach your niece and nephew to your back while you climb like you know you should!

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, no one is obligated to change their plans to give your kids a free vacation. Talk about delusionally entitled.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, the fact is that the kids are brother and SIL's "reality" (ie responsibility) and it chafes. They need to send the kids to summer camp and stop nagging other people about taking them on.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT