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Guy Finds Out His GF Deleted All The Pics Of His Late Wife While He Was In The Shower, Kicks Her Out Of The House
Guy Finds Out His GF Deleted All The Pics Of His Late Wife While He Was In The Shower, Kicks Her Out Of The House
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Guy Finds Out His GF Deleted All The Pics Of His Late Wife While He Was In The Shower, Kicks Her Out Of The House

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After you lose a loved one, you feel like you lost a part of yourself as well and healing can be tremendously hard.

But when Reddit user u/throwawayAHmayb invited his new girlfriend to move in with him, she even tried to erase his memories of his deceased wife.

He told her his phone password to ease her mind about possible cheating, but she used it to go behind his back and permanently delete pictures of the woman that came before her.

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    After this man gave his girlfriend the password to his phone, she went behind his back and deleted all the pictures of his deceased wife that she could find

    Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual photo)

    And, to her disbelief, he kicked her out of his apartment

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    Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: throwawayAHmayb

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    “Trust issues” is a term that’s thrown around casually nowadays, but this case sounds like a clear example of it

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

    According to Kendra Cherry, who is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, trust is important in relationships because it allows you the opportunity to relax, be yourself, and depend on another person. It provides you with the safety and security you need to turn to another person for comfort, reassurance, assistance, and affection.

    A 2018 study found that a tendency to be trusting is influenced by genetic factors. In other words, it’s inheritable. Distrust, on the other hand, is not, and is primarily associated with socialization factors, including family dynamics and other influences.

    Psychologist Erik Erikson proposed a theory of development that suggests the earliest years of life are all about learning whether the people around you could be trusted with your care and safety. Whether you learn this trust or mistrust, he suggested, plays a foundational role in future development.

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    Attachment style theory suggests that how you bond with your primary caregivers as a child directly impacts how you form relationships as an adult and insecure attachment styles are thought to be the result of parents who didn’t meet certain needs as you were growing up.

    For instance, inconsistent parenting may have led to an anxious attachment style, often associated with the fear of abandonment later in life. A 2015 study investigating distrust in romantic relationships found that it predicted behaviors like jealousy, nonphysical violence, psychological abuse, and snooping behaviors.

    However, the fact that the Redditor’s (ex) girlfriend’s issues can be understood does not mean she can get a pass for what she has done.

    The author of this post acknowledged that he may have rushed the new relationship and provided more details about it

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    But people still believe that the woman had no right to behave like that

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    After reading all the comments, the man shared his new course of action

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    What do you think ?
    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, there goes my faith in humanity. How cruel can you be? Dating as an adult comes with baggage. Most often, the person you fall in love with has loved someone else in the past. Don't see that as a threat. Be grateful that the former partner helped them become the person you love now. Honour the whole of their journey instead of demanding they delude you and themselves into believing you're where it starts. OP dodged a huge bullet, and I hope and pray he gets his photos back.

    tabithapaquette98
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excellent reply! You nailed it (from another cat lady)

    Load More Replies...
    A girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG. So I should delete all the pictures of the people I've loved and lost? He was right flushing that crazy.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To whoever needs to hear this. You don't stop loving a departed spouse. Most people find room in their hearts to love again but don't expect them to forget the love they lost, it's just not like that.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was never a fan of that show "Sister Wives." I find the concept... patriarchal. But there's one line that was great. "Love doesn't divide; it multiplies."

    Load More Replies...
    Norm Gilmore
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never use one device to store photos. I have copies from my phone to the laptop and external hard-drive.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Cloud is a wonderful tool as well.

    Load More Replies...
    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Don't go back to that woman.

    QuirkyKittyGirl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do so hope he was able to retrieve at least some of his photos. That vicious little harpy will get hers. I'm just glad she won't be around to detail his grief journey. God bless you, OP. I hope you find some solace and healing.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least as young as the ex-GF is, hopefully she has space to grow up and change and learn. She was obviously insecure from the start, worrying he was cheating. She needs to get more secure in herself and her own life before she partners up. But I agree she was evil in this case. I just hope she changes. Though the OP should never take her back.

    Load More Replies...
    Laura Zaini
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she's an horrendous human being and so are her friends that agree with her

    Solandri
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll be she told her friends that he was keeping pictures of his ex on his phone. Never mentioned that she was his dead wife.

    Load More Replies...
    Spittnimage
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jealous of a dead woman. That's pretty childish.

    Karen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine if they had kids! Can we spell 'wicked stepmother?' I recall reading an article of a woman who poisoned her partner's kids from a previous relationship. Sometimes capital punishment is a Really Good Thing!

    Load More Replies...
    Nancy T
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I (then 50) met my boyfriend (then 53) only five months after his wife died of breast cancer. That sadness, grief and regret were a big part of him at that time. We talked about his wife, I acknowledged the importance of their relationship. I never- not once- felt intimidated by their love. I felt like she would want me to love him. He's a great guy..and he loves me with all his heart. We're lucky to have found one another. It's been over five years since her death. He still has a picture of her in her wedding dress, in the living room, with a battery operated candle that he keeps going. I think it's his way of honoring and remembering her. The picture doesn't bother me. He can leave it there forever if he'd like. We do live separately (my youngest just turned 18, so soon we'll buy a house together). But I'm at his house a lot. As best friends I think it's important to support each other. He's been a great support to me.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're mature adults who understand that you've both walked long, winding, sometimes broken pathways. You're honouring how those roads led you to one another, and that's beautiful.

    Load More Replies...
    Allison B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think TheyCallMeCool had the best reply. I can understand GF being a bit jealous but what she did is absolutely horrible. NTA. I'm glad he kicked her out. I hope the pictures can be recovered.

    Load More Comments
    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, there goes my faith in humanity. How cruel can you be? Dating as an adult comes with baggage. Most often, the person you fall in love with has loved someone else in the past. Don't see that as a threat. Be grateful that the former partner helped them become the person you love now. Honour the whole of their journey instead of demanding they delude you and themselves into believing you're where it starts. OP dodged a huge bullet, and I hope and pray he gets his photos back.

    tabithapaquette98
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excellent reply! You nailed it (from another cat lady)

    Load More Replies...
    A girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG. So I should delete all the pictures of the people I've loved and lost? He was right flushing that crazy.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To whoever needs to hear this. You don't stop loving a departed spouse. Most people find room in their hearts to love again but don't expect them to forget the love they lost, it's just not like that.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was never a fan of that show "Sister Wives." I find the concept... patriarchal. But there's one line that was great. "Love doesn't divide; it multiplies."

    Load More Replies...
    Norm Gilmore
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never use one device to store photos. I have copies from my phone to the laptop and external hard-drive.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Cloud is a wonderful tool as well.

    Load More Replies...
    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Don't go back to that woman.

    QuirkyKittyGirl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do so hope he was able to retrieve at least some of his photos. That vicious little harpy will get hers. I'm just glad she won't be around to detail his grief journey. God bless you, OP. I hope you find some solace and healing.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least as young as the ex-GF is, hopefully she has space to grow up and change and learn. She was obviously insecure from the start, worrying he was cheating. She needs to get more secure in herself and her own life before she partners up. But I agree she was evil in this case. I just hope she changes. Though the OP should never take her back.

    Load More Replies...
    Laura Zaini
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she's an horrendous human being and so are her friends that agree with her

    Solandri
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll be she told her friends that he was keeping pictures of his ex on his phone. Never mentioned that she was his dead wife.

    Load More Replies...
    Spittnimage
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jealous of a dead woman. That's pretty childish.

    Karen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine if they had kids! Can we spell 'wicked stepmother?' I recall reading an article of a woman who poisoned her partner's kids from a previous relationship. Sometimes capital punishment is a Really Good Thing!

    Load More Replies...
    Nancy T
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I (then 50) met my boyfriend (then 53) only five months after his wife died of breast cancer. That sadness, grief and regret were a big part of him at that time. We talked about his wife, I acknowledged the importance of their relationship. I never- not once- felt intimidated by their love. I felt like she would want me to love him. He's a great guy..and he loves me with all his heart. We're lucky to have found one another. It's been over five years since her death. He still has a picture of her in her wedding dress, in the living room, with a battery operated candle that he keeps going. I think it's his way of honoring and remembering her. The picture doesn't bother me. He can leave it there forever if he'd like. We do live separately (my youngest just turned 18, so soon we'll buy a house together). But I'm at his house a lot. As best friends I think it's important to support each other. He's been a great support to me.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're mature adults who understand that you've both walked long, winding, sometimes broken pathways. You're honouring how those roads led you to one another, and that's beautiful.

    Load More Replies...
    Allison B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think TheyCallMeCool had the best reply. I can understand GF being a bit jealous but what she did is absolutely horrible. NTA. I'm glad he kicked her out. I hope the pictures can be recovered.

    Load More Comments
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