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63
“AITAH For Telling My Wife We Either Share Our Lotto Winnings Or We Separate?”
Winning the lottery is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, you can make your dreams come true and potentially create generational wealth. On the other hand, the amount of stress you’re suddenly under is phenomenal. The reality is that large sums of money have the potential to cause rifts in seemingly the strongest relationships.
Redditor u/LottoIssues went viral on the AITAH online group after asking everyone for advice when he revealed that he had given his wife an ultimatum. This happened after she won the lottery and now planned to finally quit her job, something her husband was strongly against. Scroll down for the full story and the advice the internet gave the man. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
RELATED:
Winning the lottery isn’t without its downsides. Sudden wealth can put a lot of stress on your closest relationships
Image credits: Erik Mclean / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
An anonymous man asked for advice after he had a massive argument with his wife over her wanting to quit her job after winning the lotto
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LottoIssues
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It can be a shock when you realize just how much your winnings impact how your family and friends see you now
There are lots of pros and cons of winning the lottery, getting a large inheritance, or coming into a bunch of money very quickly. On the upside, you now potentially have a decades-long financial safety net. You can afford better food, healthcare, education, and leisure activities.
You have the resources to pay off any debt and mortgages you have, provide for your loved ones, move into your dream home, start any entrepreneurial projects you’ve had on the back burner, travel the world, etc. And, if you invest your money wisely, you can create truly generational wealth for your family, children, and your children’s children.
That’s not to say that there are no downsides, though. There are plenty. Any sudden change in your circumstances is going to be a shock, whether it’s positive or negative. You might start worrying about losing the money you’ve won. You might get panicky about protecting your wealth.
Unless you manage to keep your surprise winnings secret, the fact that you’re now wealthy is likely to affect a lot of your relationships with other people. Some of your more opportunistic relatives, friends, and acquaintances might try to take advantage of you.
They might assume that you can now treat them to fancy dinners, invite them on vacation, fund their startups, pay off their debt, and do a dozen other things that they’d like. And in some cases, sure, you might be willing to help out. But if you give in to everyone’s demands, soon enough, you won’t have any of your massive wealth left. So, you have to maintain healthy boundaries with everyone.
Meanwhile, complete strangers might try to scam you out of your winnings if they know who you are and where you live. In some cases, your family members might even consider suing you if they don’t get what they see as their fair share of the winnings.
If you’re worried about getting sued, you can set aside some amount of money for your nearest and dearest and then draw up a contract specifying that they won’t come after you for more cash. In the meantime, you may want to hire a financial adviser to help you manage your massive funds.
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is making your winnings public. If you can, stay anonymous
CNN advises that if you ever win the lottery, you should stay quiet about it. “Keep your mouth shut. Before you broadcast your sudden windfall to the world, and even before you contact lottery officials, you’ll be wise to surround yourself with a team of lawyers and financial advisers.”
If you can claim your prize anonymously, you should definitely do this to protect yourself. You should also document your win by making copies of both sides of your lottery ticket and then locking it up somewhere where only you can access it.
“I think it can be more of a curse than a blessing for some, just in all of the work that has to be done. Find an attorney who has experience dealing with people with this level of wealth, because it is different,” Belinda Herzig, senior wealth strategist at BNY Mellon Wealth Management, explained to CNN.
You should also hire an accountant and financial adviser so you don’t fall prey to “creditors and predators.” These experts don’t just manage your wealth, but they can also protect your mental health by reducing the amount of stress in your life.
Something you should keep in mind is that you can offset some of your tax liability by using philanthropy to receive a charitable deduction.
Once you’ve got all of that sorted, you should consider paying off your debt, setting up college funds for your kids, diversifying your investments, and keeping a “robust” emergency fund.
What do you think, dear Pandas? Do you think the author of the story did the right thing by pressuring his wife not to quit her job after winning the lottery, or do you think he went too far by threatening her with divorce?
How would you have handled the situation? If you’ve ever won the lottery, how did this affect your life? It’s a serious topic, so we want to hear your thoughts about all of this in the comments.
As the story started getting more and more attention online, the author shared more context about the sensitive situation at home
Some internet users thought that the husband did the right thing
Others thought the author had the wrong strategy. Here’s their criticism
From some people’s perspective, everyone was in the wrong
One internet user shared a story about how people change after hitting the jackpot
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What do you think ?
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 8 months ago (edited)
The wife's an idiot. They won 10 years (or 13 years because it's untaxed) worth of midrange salary for one person, not 30 years for two people. And then he says that housework is not her forte either. Why did a woman who hates work AND housework have children?
Annabelle 8 months ago
I don't think she's changing, I think she's showing OP who she has always been. It's wild the things that will "turn" people. I'd get a lawyer asap, especially as OP already talked about divorce.
Royal Stray 8 months ago (edited)
I don't get it. Like yeah sure if I got a bunch of money I'd like to travel somewhere, that'd be great. But since I'm not a complete idiot I realize that that money should be invested or perhaps used to buy a house or apartment instead of renting. Does the wife even realize that the money they won doesn't cover her not working? It's the complete lack of understanding reality that really baffles me here. Also this whole "It's my money I deserve it" if I won the lottery with my own money I'd still split it with my partner. As long as you're in a serious relationship that's been going on for some time, and you don't need to pay off debts then why wouldn't you split it? Or at the very least talk about it? I'd feel like an AH if I won a bunch and refused to share it just because. (With my partner, parents and friends have no claim over lottery winnings)
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🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 8 months ago (edited)
The wife's an idiot. They won 10 years (or 13 years because it's untaxed) worth of midrange salary for one person, not 30 years for two people. And then he says that housework is not her forte either. Why did a woman who hates work AND housework have children?
Annabelle 8 months ago
I don't think she's changing, I think she's showing OP who she has always been. It's wild the things that will "turn" people. I'd get a lawyer asap, especially as OP already talked about divorce.
Royal Stray 8 months ago (edited)
I don't get it. Like yeah sure if I got a bunch of money I'd like to travel somewhere, that'd be great. But since I'm not a complete idiot I realize that that money should be invested or perhaps used to buy a house or apartment instead of renting. Does the wife even realize that the money they won doesn't cover her not working? It's the complete lack of understanding reality that really baffles me here. Also this whole "It's my money I deserve it" if I won the lottery with my own money I'd still split it with my partner. As long as you're in a serious relationship that's been going on for some time, and you don't need to pay off debts then why wouldn't you split it? Or at the very least talk about it? I'd feel like an AH if I won a bunch and refused to share it just because. (With my partner, parents and friends have no claim over lottery winnings)
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