“My Parents Are Livid Because I’m Not Allowing Them To See My Daughter After They Spanked Her”

His whole family defending the grandparents is disgusting, he did the right thing by blocking all of them. The "kids need to be spanked" crowd in the replies are a bunch of child abûsers.

"We spanked you, and you turned out fine." NO I DID NOT. First of all, if I turned out so fine, and spanking me was supposed to teach me to obey you, then why am I still defying you by telling you that what you did was wrong?

As someone who got spanked and only learned fear and withdrawal, don't spank your kids. I will however say sometimes a very small smack on a hand that is about to touch a hot stove or fire can work so long as you very clearly explain the consequences of that hot stove and fire without shouting - don't be bending a kid over and spanking them.

i was spanked when i was younger just moderately, but being that it was for things out of my control (undiagnosed adhd and autism), and one of my uncles would actually flick my ear really hard if i did something "wrong" while visiting my cousins. it's still left an impact - that kind of punishment leaves a mark on someone no matter the circumstances. no child should fear being struck by their OWN FAMILY if they mess up. i believe in loving (no physical harm) discipline, but ONLY. ONLY if its the PARENTS disciplining THEIR CHILD.

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How anyone can look at any child, let alone that young... and then smack them is beyond me.

My favourite is when they would hit you because you hit someone, and hitting is wrong. The parents should spank the grandparents so they learn not to attack children.

Spanking shouldn’t happen at all, period. I’m 65, and was raised by old school parents who spanked my brothers and I. BUT the spankings were ONLY for extreme misbehavior that went on way too long, AND were basically just a pop on the b**t, over our clothing, to shock and not hurt. We were never put over anyone’s knees and shanked until our butts were red, ffs. That pop on the b**t pretty much reminded us that we were being very very bad and needed to stop before we got worse—-which never happened, btw. Still, my brothers and I have been against even the pop on the b**t first our own kids. Authoritarian parenting doesn’t work and should be relegated to the past where it belongs. Authoritative parenting, where punishments are fair, equitable, and fit the “crime”, NOT physical and OTT, is the way to go. Authoritative parenting isn’t the same as permissive (ie non-existing) parenting. Authoritarian parenting doesn’t teach good behavior, it only teaches a child how to lie, keep secrets, and cover their tracks to evade punishment. Authoritative parenting teaches good behavior in such a way that the child actually wants to behave (weird, I know, but that’s the result of being a parent who punishes fairly while explaining why it’s happening and following through by teaching better behavior—-by example).

Your children should ALWAYS be able to feel safe with you. They won't if you hit them.

Corporal punishment is one of those bulls‍‍‍‍hit, outdated ideas that people try and excuse for various reasons, even though people who do it are just bad people

NTA. They don't get to see her often already, due to distance ... how dumb of them is it to risk that little contact they have over something so irrelevant as choice of cartoons? This is on them, only on them and not on you. Plus, of course, physical violence is not a method of raising kids, it's a method of destroying kids. You're absolutely right in cutting them out! Some comments seem to assume it was to be expected of them ... well, yeah maybe, I can't be certain about this either way, so I can't judge. I don't think they can either.

Kate Johnson

Kate Johnson

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For me it's not just the fact that they spanked the child, it was that they spanked her for having her own opinion on cartoons. So in kind, if I was him, and my mother had an opinion I disagreed with, it would be okay to backhand her in the face? These are obviously low intelligence people who have been taught violence and then teach violence.

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I think there is more going on than the spanking itself. The grandparents were objecting to something they perceived as disrespect. And, generally speaking, when one is a guest it's polite to go along with whatever entertainment has been organized. BUT! Spanking for a nonviolent offense will tend to cause a child to stop communicating. By now, it should be clear to everyone that children need to be able to talk freely without fear of repercussions. Silence makes it easy for predators to do their thing. I *know* this.

He was more tolerant than I would be. Father or not, I would have slapped his face so hard my handprint would be on him for a week. Downvote me all you want, but if anyone hits my kids or my pets, they will be lucky to not need an ambulance ride.

The grandparents are in the wrong. If they were to watch your child, they have to abide by your rules and your disciplinary methods. I also agree, spanking does no good. It doesn't teach a person to be good, the only lesson from it is fear and avoidance. In a nutshell, spanking is indeed a form of bullying and not a form in discipline.

For each of the parents and every single relative who said YTA, the OP should offer to pull off his belt (or buy one) and beat the ever-living c**p out of them, until they learn that what they did was wrong. If it works for children, it can work for adults, too - and it's done for their own good, with good intentions - and it'll hurt OP more than it hurts them. /s

My older brother and I were regularly beaten by my parents over trivial things or things we were completely innocent of. This led to fear, resentment, secrecy, troubled adolescent behaviour, drinking, d**g a***e, etc. My old man's long dead but my relationship with my Ma is pretty strained as she refuses to address the subject and deflects everything on to my dad. Partly explains why both my brother and I live in a different country to her and haven't seen her in years. Go figure.

I'd like to know why my comment has been concealed. I'm baffled. Ideas, anybody?

Corporal punishment should only be applied (*if* applied at all) as a very, very last resort. Hitting someone else's kids - even if you are related to them - can only ever be considered a*****t as far as I am concerned.

Parents are bolsonaro christians, like neymar and the traitors who attempted a coup - the people who burned the National Museum to eliminate indigenous culture, and then burned the rainforest. The YTAs are their even lesser, even less human, american equivalent.