“I Wonder How Many Men Would Stay”: Woman’s Honest Post About Life With A BF With OCD Goes Viral

Living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder comes with many challenges. In the U.S., one in 40 adults and one in 100 children are diagnosed with the condition. But people don’t realize the toll that the disorder takes on the loved ones of those who have it – their lives might be just as forever changed.

“We’ll never have a normal life again,” a woman named Jodie, who’s living with a partner diagnosed with OCD, recently declared online. In a series of slides, she detailed her boyfriend’s behaviors. In the comments, people showed her overwhelming support and shared advice about the best ways she can support her partner.

Living with OCD is challenging for those who are diagnosed with it, but it’s stressful for their loved ones as well

Couple having a serious conversation indoors, highlighting challenges faced in relationships with a boyfriend with OCD.

Image credits: prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

One woman online broke down what it is like to live with a partner who has OCD

Man walking on a beach during sunset with text about living with a boyfriend who has progressively worse OCD.

Sunset sky over a grassy field with text describing challenges in life with a boyfriend with OCD.

Sunset over calm water with boats, illustrating a woman's honest post about life with a boyfriend with OCD.

Sunset behind houses with text about men staying and life with a boyfriend with OCD and his checking habits.

View from inside a car during sunset with text about life with a boyfriend with OCD and challenges of hoarding and personal boundaries.

Sunset over water with text about hand washing many times daily highlighting challenges of life with a boyfriend with OCD.

Calm lake at sunset with a boat, illustrating a woman's honest post about life with a boyfriend with OCD.

Sunset landscape with text about a woman's honest post on life with a boyfriend with OCD involving repeated actions.

Sunset over a field with text about challenges of life with a boyfriend with OCD asking for help with fridge and cupboard.

Sunset over a quiet street with a viral post about life with a boyfriend with OCD and his compulsive behaviors.

Text overlay on sunset background describes a woman's honest post about life with a boyfriend with OCD needing constant reassurance.

Sunset sky over houses with text about a boyfriend with OCD double texting until it feels right.

Sunset over a highway with a text about daily battery checks illustrating life with a boyfriend with OCD going viral.

Woman’s honest post about life with a boyfriend with OCD describing rituals triggered by intrusive thoughts at sunset.

Sunset view with text about challenges of life with a boyfriend with OCD and his fears affecting daily routine.

Image credits: jodieleighxx_

It may be harder for people with OCD to maintain relationships, but it is not impossible

OCD can make a romantic relationship difficult for both partners. Research from the 1990s shows that OCD patients are less likely to get married than people without the diagnosis. Another study from 2016 reportedly showed that about half of OCD patients are unable to maintain a romantic relationship in the long run.

Such statistics may sound scary, but they do not mean that every relationship in which a partner has OCD is doomed. Plenty of people diagnosed with OCD are able to have happy and fulfilling relationships. The Chief Clinical Officer at NOCD, the leading virtual provider of OCD therapy, Patrick McGrath, PhD, explains that living with and supporting someone with a chronic mental condition can seem tiresome.

“Over time, the partner of someone with OCD could feel like ‘This isn’t the relationship that I want,’ because it becomes more about providing reassurance versus having a mutual, fulfilling partnership,” Dr. McGrath says. But if the relationship doesn’t devolve into being all about the partner’s OCD, it’s still about the love that the couple shares.

The two primary symptoms of OCD are obsessions and compulsive behaviors. In the context of OCD, ‘obsessions’ mean intrusive thoughts. Most people have them, but people with OCD have them more often and feel more distress because of them. These intrusive thoughts drive people to compulsions: behaviors that might alleviate the distress or prevent perceived bad outcomes.

In real life, these behaviors might include checking that the doors are locked repeatedly or counting every step when going for a walk. If the OCD is untreated, the behaviors can worsen, as we see from Jodie’s post.

After her first set of slides garnered attention, she shared even more behaviors that her BF’s OCD triggers

Man walking on beach at sunset, illustrating life with a boyfriend who has severe OCD in a viral honest post.

Open grassy park with a netball post and text about a boyfriend with OCD and challenges with eye contact and photos.

Sunset view over a beach with text about life with a boyfriend with OCD and his fear of thought transfer through objects.

Residential street with parked cars and trees under clear sky, illustrating life with a boyfriend with OCD challenges.

Open field with trees and hills under a clear blue sky, text about a boyfriend with OCD and old belongings.

Woman’s honest post describing life with a boyfriend with OCD and intrusive thoughts at sunset by a calm lake.

Explanation of word dumping symptom related to OCD in a woman's honest post about life with a boyfriend with OCD.

Image credits: jodieleighxx_

The worst thing a partner can do is enable a person with OCD’s compulsive behaviors and thoughts

If you’re a partner of someone who has OCD, there are some things you should know about what to do and what not to do. Here are some tips that experts note most often:

• Get as knowledgeable about OCD as possible. Research, educate yourself, and read up on OCD as much as you can. Dr. Patrick McGrath recommends the book Loving Someone With OCD by Karen J. Landsman, Kathleen M. Parrish, and Cherlene Pedrick.
• Help them find the right treatment. For patients with OCD, professional treatment is crucial, and experts most often recommend ERP, or exposure and response prevention therapy. According to clinical psychologist Owen Kelly, PhD, partners can help pinpoint “the true nature and severity of symptoms.” They also look out to make sure the patients are following their medication and treatment regimens.
• Don’t give in to their need for reassurance. People with OCD look to their partners to reassure them of their intrusive thoughts. For a person who just wants their partner to feel better, this might seem counterintuitive. But, as Dr. McGrath points out, “No one has gotten better by getting more reassurance.” Instead, steer the conversation away or respond with “I can’t answer that right now” or “It must be hard dealing with such distress.”
• Don’t enable their obsessive behaviors. Don’t encourage their OCD by asking things like, “Did you double-check the stove?” or “Did you really lock the doors before leaving?” It doesn’t ease their fears and only makes their OCD worse. Don’t participate in their compulsions either; if they ask you to wash your hands together every time, set a boundary and say, “No.”

As commenters under Jodie’s videos pointed out, self-care is important for the partners of individuals with OCD. Whether that’s guided meditation, support groups, journaling, or immersing yourself in a hobby, taking time for yourself is important if you start to feel that the stress is getting overwhelming.

Commenters applauded the woman for staying with her partner and supporting him through this

Screenshot of a social media comment about life with a boyfriend with OCD, expressing the intimacy and trust involved.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing workarounds and strategies for managing OCD in a boyfriend.

Comment from a woman sharing her honest perspective on living with a boyfriend who has OCD and its intense anxiety impact.

Social media post reflecting on how many men would stay in a relationship with a partner who has OCD symptoms.

Social media post showing a woman’s honest reflection on life with a boyfriend who has OCD and its real challenges.

Comment from James Harvey about having a supportive girlfriend who helps him with his OCD thoughts.

Comment from a woman sharing her perspective on life with a boyfriend who has OCD, expressing concern and empathy.

Comment on social media post discussing mental health experiences related to OCD in a relationship context.

Comment on a social media post discussing a woman’s honest experience with a boyfriend who has OCD, expressing sympathy.

Comment from Life with Laura describing life with OCD, mentioning diagnosis and treatments like fluoxetine and olanzapine.

Those diagnosed with OCD and their loved ones shared their personal stories

Comment sharing a personal story about living with severe OCD and the challenges faced in daily life with a boyfriend having OCD.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing life with a boyfriend who has OCD and coping strategies.

Screenshot of a woman’s comment about living with OCD, highlighting the challenges of life with a boyfriend who has OCD.

Comment discussing the challenges of life with a boyfriend with OCD and coping strategies including medication and ERP therapy.

Screenshot of a social media comment reflecting thoughts on living with a boyfriend who has OCD.

Others offered much-needed advice: “Be compassionate but ensure you look after yourself”

Comment advising counselling and support for a partner with OCD, highlighting challenges in relationships with OCD.

Screenshot of a woman’s honest post about life with a boyfriend with OCD describing reassurance and coping.

Comment explaining the challenges of life with a boyfriend with OCD and advice on mental health and therapy.

Comment from woman sharing advice about living with a boyfriend with OCD, discussing compulsions and reassurance cycles.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing exposure therapy for managing symptoms in a boyfriend with OCD.

Comment discussing therapy and treatment options for a boyfriend with OCD, highlighting personal experience and support.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing the need for professional help for someone showing paranoid delusions related to OCD.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing therapy and CBT for managing OCD in a boyfriend, highlighting challenges in relationships.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing exposure therapy and challenges of living with a boyfriend with OCD.

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