Woman Demands SIL’s Kids Do Chores Around The House They Don’t Even Live In, Drama Ensues
Family is there to help each other when the going gets tough. Or at the very least, not make everything worse. But when Reddit user u/LogicalSky6901 and her family started staying at her husband’s sister’s place, their arrangement quickly became too much for them to handle.
In a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’, the woman explained that they paid her sister-in-law campground prices for using her property to park and live in their camper, but that eventually wasn’t enough for her.
This woman and her husband paid his sister for a chance to temporarily park their camper on her property
Image credits: Stephen Ellis (not the actual photo)
But after they began living there, she quickly demanded they contribute in other ways too
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Image credits: Nicola Barts (not the actual photo)
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Image credits: LogicalSky6901
In-law conflicts are quite common
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
Popular culture and real-life examples often feed us the assumption that conflicts between in-laws are normal. And quite often it seems that they are unavoidable.
Part of the reason why navigating these relationships can be tricky is the fact that there is no rulebook for them. For example, how close people should live to their in-laws, how often should they see each other, and what responsibilities might they share?
In a 2020 study from the US, both men and women reported having more conflict with their mothers-in-law than their mothers, and mothers indicated having more conflict with their daughters-in-law than their daughters.
Especially between women
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Terri Apter, a psychologist and senior tutor at Newnham College, Cambridge University, who conducted more than two decades of research in the field, found that 60% of women admitted the relationship with their female in-law caused them long-term unhappiness and stress. Two-thirds of daughters-in-law believed that their husband’s mother frequently exhibited jealous, maternal love towards their son. Seventy-five percent of couples reported having problems with an in-law, but only 15% of mother-in-law/son-in-law relationships were described as tense.
One possible factor that could contribute to the prevalence of female in-law tension is child-rearing and the impact it has on women, which could potentially compound any pre-existing disagreements.
In a Finnish study, researchers discovered that compared to child-free couples, mothers and fathers were as likely to report conflict with their own parents, but more likely to report individual conflict with their in-laws.
Many young adults found in-law conflict increased after the birth of their first child, with the shared interest of a grandchild providing fresh reasons for grandparents to “influence and interfere in the lives of other family members.”
Of course, we don’t have the full context about the situation in OP’s family, but who knows, maybe it’s easier for her sister-in-law to risk a fight by demanding her kids help with the chores than to parent her own daughter?
Either way, children and parenting in general seem to only add fuel to the fire that is in-law relationships.
After reading her story, people unanimously said that the woman did nothing wrong and that it’s the sister-in-law who needs to rethink her approach
My question is why she would want to live across the road from SIL. Unless the property was free I'd flee.
Always someone thinking they're clever at getting something free at another's expense. SIL knows damned well her husband contributes nothing; she's been living with him all along. She knows, too (unless she's an imbecile) that the extra trashing of her home started with the holidays - her kids being home and having friends over- or this would have been brought up sooner. What she wants is free labor. She's not going to take her child or husband to task. She wants to skive the extra work off OP's children and she's used to domineering over her brother. He's a POS for not standing up for his children and wife.
She knows her kids and husband aren't going to do it, so she figured she could bully her brothers kids in to doing it cause at the comments of OPs husband saying maybe let one or two chores to keep the peace says to me that she's been bullying him his whole life and now she going to bully his wife and children, or try to anyway. Good on OP for having a backbone
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IMO (and experience), families take the michael (for example, babysitting, for one - esp using older kids, be it their own or nearby relatives, also sisters, retired grandparents or aunts, etc) much more so than non-related peeps. The idea that blood is more important than decency or respect- and usually FREE, which is the most important aspect. It is particularly strong when they feel you 'owe' them, regardless if you pay your way. Let the kids clean the rooms that they're using - after use, but otherwise, wth?! The sooner they can get their bathroom built, the quicker they can move onto their own land. I bet the SIL will miss that weekly $180. ;-)
Heck I was doing monthly at the rv park 500+ elec I didn’t have to clean the park or the bathrooms at the park. That girls lost her marbles
Load More Replies... My question is why she would want to live across the road from SIL. Unless the property was free I'd flee.
Always someone thinking they're clever at getting something free at another's expense. SIL knows damned well her husband contributes nothing; she's been living with him all along. She knows, too (unless she's an imbecile) that the extra trashing of her home started with the holidays - her kids being home and having friends over- or this would have been brought up sooner. What she wants is free labor. She's not going to take her child or husband to task. She wants to skive the extra work off OP's children and she's used to domineering over her brother. He's a POS for not standing up for his children and wife.
She knows her kids and husband aren't going to do it, so she figured she could bully her brothers kids in to doing it cause at the comments of OPs husband saying maybe let one or two chores to keep the peace says to me that she's been bullying him his whole life and now she going to bully his wife and children, or try to anyway. Good on OP for having a backbone
Load More Replies... IMO (and experience), families take the michael (for example, babysitting, for one - esp using older kids, be it their own or nearby relatives, also sisters, retired grandparents or aunts, etc) much more so than non-related peeps. The idea that blood is more important than decency or respect- and usually FREE, which is the most important aspect. It is particularly strong when they feel you 'owe' them, regardless if you pay your way. Let the kids clean the rooms that they're using - after use, but otherwise, wth?! The sooner they can get their bathroom built, the quicker they can move onto their own land. I bet the SIL will miss that weekly $180. ;-)
Heck I was doing monthly at the rv park 500+ elec I didn’t have to clean the park or the bathrooms at the park. That girls lost her marbles
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