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Woman Is Stunned As SIL Goes Negotiating With Nanny Behind Her Back But Gets Outbid
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Woman Is Stunned As SIL Goes Negotiating With Nanny Behind Her Back But Gets Outbid

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In 2022, the NFL fined the Miami Dolphins $1.5M and stripped them of two draft picks for attempting to tamper with Tom Brady and coach Sean Payton. In other words, for attempting to negotiate outside the time period established for this, or behind the back of the current employer. This is one of the loudest tampering scandals in the history of sports – however, similar situations do arise like mushrooms after rain. And, I must say, not only in sports.

For example, the SIL of the user u/aitanannyraise, the author of our story today, once tried to lure her nanny to her – of course, behind the back of her current employer, but was left with nothing after the author increased the nanny’s salary. However, let’s talk about everything in order.

More info: Reddit

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It’s not that easy to find a perfect nanny for your kids – but the author was lucky to find Isabelle

Image credits: Kampus Production  (not the actual photo) 

The author of the post has 3 kids, in the age span from 10 months to 10 years

Image credits: u/aitanannyraise

The nanny did her job almost perfectly and got along with all 3 kids

Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo) 

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Image credits: u/aitanannyraise

So recently the author’s SIL made an attempt to poach Isabelle by matching the author’s offer

Image credits: olia danilevich (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: u/aitanannyraise

The author outbid this offer with more money – and now the SIL calls her ‘petty’ for allegedly ‘stealing her nanny’

So, the Original Poster (OP) has three children, the eldest of whom is 10 years old, and the youngest is just under a year old. In such a situation, it’s quite difficult to find a good nanny, but the author and her family were lucky – they found Isabelle.

Isabelle is 22 years old, and she has managed to get along with all three kids, practically become friends with the eldest, and in general does her job, if not perfectly, then as close as possible to it. For example, one day the OP’s eldest daughter wanted a fun activity with her friends – and Isabelle arranged a real spa center for the kids (the author’s daughter, her niece and 2 other girls were also present).

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Unsurprisingly, the OP’s niece was delighted with her interaction with Isabelle and, apparently, when she came home, she buzzed her mother’s ear off about how she, too, wanted such a nanny. The Mom (the author’s SIL) didn’t think long – she found Isabelle’s contacts and offered her a job. 4 days a week, the same money she gets from the OP – but only 1 kid.

To Isabelle’s credit, she didn’t enter into any agreements behind her employer’s back, but told the original poster everything. She, in turn, did the same thing that any competent sports team general manager would do in negotiations with a restricted free agent – offered a new contract.

So, Isabelle’s new contract provided for 5 days a week with a $5 per hour raise. The nanny agreed and wrote to the SIL that she couldn’t accept her offer – but the woman got offended and now is telling all relatives that the OP ‘stole a nanny from her.’ Moreover, even her brother, the author’s husband, believes that his wife acted petty here. So the woman decided to ask people online for advice.

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Well, there are times when the media or insiders talk about increased interest on the part of some teams in a particular athlete with one sole purpose – to strengthen their position in the upcoming negotiations on a new contract. It is quite obvious that the situation here is completely different. At least a good nanny is a character, of course, not as rare as a good quarterback, but… well, I’d like to see how Patrick Mahomes or Lamar Jackson would cope alone with three kids of different ages!

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So, apparently, there really was an attempt at tampering on the part of the author’s SIL, and by and large, it was the original poster who should’ve been indignant at the inappropriate behavior of her husband’s sister. Unfortunately, we don’t have the NFL or NBA here, and there’s no commissioner to dot the i’s and cross the t’s.

In fact, a $5 an hour raise looks like a not bad deal for Isabelle. At least, according to Gitnux statistical data, the average hourly rate for a nanny in the United States nowadays is about $19. At the same time, for twins, this amount increases to approximately $25, and considering that the original poster has three children, even more.

At the same time, the volume of the babysitting services market, although it still didn’t reach pre-Covid levels in 2024, still shows annual growth, and next year, according to forecasts by Polaris Market Research, will exceed the 2019 figure for the first time. And North America remains the largest in the world market all these years, accounting for approximately half of the market volume in 2023. However, market growth is just one thing, but finding a really good nanny for your kids is, you see, something completely different.

However, commenters on the original post are also confident that the author did everything right – and that, in fact, it was she who almost became the affected party. “Your SIL tried to steal your nanny! Your SIL could have come to you and the two of you could have approached Isabelle about caring for all four kids with you and SIL splitting Isabelle’s pay,” one of the commenters reasonably wrote.

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“However, your SIL chose to attempt to poach your nanny, which is borderline unforgivable and now has the nerve to play the victim. Your SIL is the petty one!” this commenter also added. As for the behavior of the author’s husband, commenters are almost sure that the guy has simply never looked for a new nanny for the kids – otherwise he would have spoken differently.

“If your husband has such an issue with it, tell him he’s responsible next time you need a new nanny/sitter. He can do all the interviewing and contacting references and background checks and negotiations for pay,” one of the folks in the comments presumed. “It’s not so easy as ‘find a new nanny’: your SIL knows this and tried to circumvent the process.”

Well, we are almost sure that sooner or later, time will put everything in its place, the author’s SIL will find a good nanny for her daughter – or she will still offer to agree on a joint payment for Isabelle. In the meantime, if you also have some similar tales under your belt, please feel free to share them in the comments below.

However, people in the comments are pretty sure that it was the author who was the affected party here, so she did everything right

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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juliestevens avatar
Giraffy Window
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah screw the sister in law. Pro Nannies are thicker than water and whatnot.

glennschroeder avatar
Papa
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't usually jump on the "this was all made up" bandwagon, but this doesn't make sense. Family members are upset with OP when she offered her current nanny more money to stay instead of letting her SIL steal her away? I know there are a lot of crazy people out there, but I'm not buying this one.

hannah_taylor_1 avatar
Hannah Taylor
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's possible that OP us seen as "not family." It happens. Also, SIL is probably the golden child.

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lsgm2fw avatar
Zoe's Mom
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I don't like is that she didn't offer a raise, (but who knows) until AFTER she received better offer and yet is waiting until next year to give it to her. Depending on where you live, $15.00 an hour to watch children is way too low.

jlkooiker avatar
lenka
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesn't anywhere state that she was paid $15 an hour. It only states that she was given a $5 per hour raise. In the Reddit thread the OP says she was already paid fairly. We also do not know how long the Nanny has been working for the family. Based on the contract comment I suspect it is less than a year. For all we know, it could have been less than six months. OP is not an AH for not offering a raise that was not previously asked for, was not in line with any agreed periodic raise and not at an annual or other scheduled contract review period.

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juliestevens avatar
Giraffy Window
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah screw the sister in law. Pro Nannies are thicker than water and whatnot.

glennschroeder avatar
Papa
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't usually jump on the "this was all made up" bandwagon, but this doesn't make sense. Family members are upset with OP when she offered her current nanny more money to stay instead of letting her SIL steal her away? I know there are a lot of crazy people out there, but I'm not buying this one.

hannah_taylor_1 avatar
Hannah Taylor
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's possible that OP us seen as "not family." It happens. Also, SIL is probably the golden child.

Load More Replies...
lsgm2fw avatar
Zoe's Mom
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I don't like is that she didn't offer a raise, (but who knows) until AFTER she received better offer and yet is waiting until next year to give it to her. Depending on where you live, $15.00 an hour to watch children is way too low.

jlkooiker avatar
lenka
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesn't anywhere state that she was paid $15 an hour. It only states that she was given a $5 per hour raise. In the Reddit thread the OP says she was already paid fairly. We also do not know how long the Nanny has been working for the family. Based on the contract comment I suspect it is less than a year. For all we know, it could have been less than six months. OP is not an AH for not offering a raise that was not previously asked for, was not in line with any agreed periodic raise and not at an annual or other scheduled contract review period.

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