“She Cried And Begged, But I Asked Her Again To Leave”: Groom Upset His Mother Invited His Late Wife’s Parents To His New Wedding, Kicks Her Out
Remember that famous song from the “Frozen” carrtoon? You know, the one where Princess Elsa sings: “Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door”? In fact, the song is absolutely great – at least because it’s worth a dozen lectures from self-development coaches, but it also expresses it literally in one breath!
So here’s what we’re talking about. The fact is that despite all the wonderful advice on how it is necessary and important to let go of the past, people very often, unfortunately, do not do this, thus harming not only themselves, but also those around them, for example, their closest relatives.
You don’t have to look far for an example – here’s this post in the AITA Reddit community, which gained about 11.2K upvotes and more than 1.8K comments in just a few days. The opinions of the commenters were divided, but most of them were on the Original Poster’s side.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster’s wife passed away six years ago and now he’s about to marry for a second time
Image credits: David J (not the actual image)
So, the Original Poster was about to get married a second time. His first wife passed away six years ago. They dated for four years, and then lived for one year in marriage, until death separated them. As the man himself admits, they were happy, but only after he met his new love, Helena, did he realize that the late wife was still not the love of his entire life.
Image credits: u/AITA_27744
The OP’s mother hasn’t let go of the memory of his late wife
Unlike the OP, his mom couldn’t really get over the loss of his first wife. It often happens that mother-in-law and wife just don’t click, but that’s not the story. The OP’s mother took the woman in as her own daughter, and was nearly devastated when she passed away. But her relationship with her son’s fiancée did not work out very well – she has always compared the two women, not in favor of Helena.
Image credits: u/AITA_27744
Moreover, in the process of arranging the wedding, the mother often reproached her son for trying to make the celebration too posh. Of course, the OP claims, he tied the knot with his first wife when they were very young, and now he is already a fairly wealthy person and wants to organize a big, wonderful wedding for himself and his beloved one.
Image credits: Travis Simon (not the actual image)
The OP’s mom asked him to invite his former in-laws to the wedding as well, but he just forbade her from doing so
The next problem was the mother’s attempt to make the OP invite his late wife’s parents to the wedding. All the explanations that many years have passed, and now they are just strangers, did not work on the mother, so in the end, the OP simply forbade her to invite his former in-laws. Even Helena was open to the invitation, but the OP was adamant in his decision.
Image credits: u/AITA_27744
The wedding day came, and the groom was incredibly amazed to see his former father-in-law and mother-in-law among the guests. He politely asked what they were doing there, and received the answer that his mother had invited them. She, in turn, claimed that “this is her family”, and that she had a duty towards them.
Image credits: u/AITA_27744
When the groom saw his former FIL and MIL at the wedding, he just kicked his mother out of the ceremony
The OP was literally indignant. He explained the situation to his former in-laws and said that they could stay for the reception, but his mother was not allowed to stay for anything. As the OP himself recalls, his mother cried and begged, but he was completely adamant. In the end, all three left together, but even the OP’s father, who had been divorced from his mom for over fifteen years, called his son a jerk.
Image credits: Quinn Dombrowski (not the actual image)
People in the comments think that both the son and the mother need to visit a psychologist to sort out this situation
As we have already said, the opinions of the commenters were divided. Judging by the particular wedding situation, he was not to blame for anything. But the way the man spoke about his late wife, according to people in the comments, did not look too respectful. As if he thinks she passed away so, conveniently for him, he could move on to find his “true love”.
In any case, according to the commenters, both the OP and his mother could do with a few visits to a good psychoanalyst. As people in the comments suggest, apparently this situation is still painful for both of them – but for the OP’s mother, of course, it’s way more painful.
We’re pretty sure you’ve already made up your own mind about this story, so feel free to comment on this post. And you could also like some more wedding stories of ours, like this or this one, so please enjoy!
The math is he is 27 now and his first wife died 6 years ago so he married her at 20 and they were high school sweethearts. Not many 20 year old people really know if the person they are with is the love of their life. He moved on after 3 years and his mother is holding on to someone who is gone. NTA.
Exactly. If his first wife hadn't died, they might have been divorced by now anyway. Marriages that happen so young often don't last.
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He isn't insulting his first wife at all, just admitting that his new love feels more like soulmates, and most likely more mature given the age. You never love two people the same.
Some people heal after a tragic event, some don't. No time frame for either. He just put a period and moved on. No disrespect to the former in-laws, he moved on and so had they. I'd guess they came as people who wished to witness his new chapter in life and give him a blessing of sorts. I'd also guess that they had NO idea that he wasn't informed. His mother is a freak to pull this. I'm glad the new wife wasn't feeling 'threatened' by the presence of the former in-laws. It was 'her' day but for some folks can make it a drama moment, she had the grace to see it differently and let her new husband handle his mom---not her monkey, not her circus. Too bad the dad didn't and distance himself too. Everything she needed to know, is that her spouse had her back, always. This is what mature love looks like. He had nothing to compare his first marriage to at the time. No doubt had she not died, they could have matured together to the same level. Fate had other plans.
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This guy did not cheat on his wife, he waited 2 years before moving on with his new wife. He said that the ex-in laws hadn't spoken to him in 5 years, so why did they decide to attend his wedding. His mum is TA, he told her his wishes and she disrespected them as well as his new wife.
The math is he is 27 now and his first wife died 6 years ago so he married her at 20 and they were high school sweethearts. Not many 20 year old people really know if the person they are with is the love of their life. He moved on after 3 years and his mother is holding on to someone who is gone. NTA.
Exactly. If his first wife hadn't died, they might have been divorced by now anyway. Marriages that happen so young often don't last.
Load More Replies... He isn't insulting his first wife at all, just admitting that his new love feels more like soulmates, and most likely more mature given the age. You never love two people the same.
Some people heal after a tragic event, some don't. No time frame for either. He just put a period and moved on. No disrespect to the former in-laws, he moved on and so had they. I'd guess they came as people who wished to witness his new chapter in life and give him a blessing of sorts. I'd also guess that they had NO idea that he wasn't informed. His mother is a freak to pull this. I'm glad the new wife wasn't feeling 'threatened' by the presence of the former in-laws. It was 'her' day but for some folks can make it a drama moment, she had the grace to see it differently and let her new husband handle his mom---not her monkey, not her circus. Too bad the dad didn't and distance himself too. Everything she needed to know, is that her spouse had her back, always. This is what mature love looks like. He had nothing to compare his first marriage to at the time. No doubt had she not died, they could have matured together to the same level. Fate had other plans.
Load More Replies... This guy did not cheat on his wife, he waited 2 years before moving on with his new wife. He said that the ex-in laws hadn't spoken to him in 5 years, so why did they decide to attend his wedding. His mum is TA, he told her his wishes and she disrespected them as well as his new wife.
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