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“It Made Me Wanna Cry”: 16 Y.O. Continues To Not Talk To His Dad Even On His Birthday After He Threw Out All Of His Son’s Plants
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"He Hurt My Feelings Bad": Dad Doesn’t Apologize For Throwing His Son’s Plants Away, Son Continues To Not Talk To Him Even On His Birthday

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During the pandemic, when most of the world was under lockdown, people started to remember their hobbies that they didn’t have time for. Many discovered more interests as they somehow had to alleviate their boredom.

A teen discovered he really liked plants and taking care of them, but his dad was annoyed with this new pastime and threw away everything his son had spent so much time and effort on. Now the teen is not talking to his dad, who is getting even more mad, especially because his son didn’t say a word even on his birthday.

More info: Reddit

Teen is told he is going too far for not talking to his dad on his birthday, but he is not over him throwing away all his plants

Image credits: Smoobs (not the actual image)

The Original Poster (OP) is a 16-year-old who was quite bored from going to school on Zoom, so his aunt thought that maybe he could try growing plants. When his dad’s sister came for a visit from Wyoming where she and her husband have a farm, she brought some seeds and plants for the teen’s grandmother but gave him some as well.

Turns out, OP really enjoyed taking care of plants and was so devoted that he even went to buy pots and soil, transporting them by bus. He was researching the best ways to care for certain plants and was most proud of his peace lily, which he grew from seed.

While plants made the teen happy, his dad didn’t see the point of them and called this hobby dumb. The dad saw plant growing as not a manly interest and considered it a waste of time. He was really not fond of the idea of the OP working on a garden.

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He was so against his son growing plants that he took them all and just threw them away. The OP learnt about it when he came back from his cousin’s and didn’t find any of his pots in his room.

The 16 Y.O. was getting bored from online school so his aunt suggested he try out growing plants to fight the boredom

Image credits: u/threwmyplants

It really hurt OP’s feelings, as it was his joy he unexpectedly discovered that put his mind at ease, and because all his hard work was disregarded. At least his mom was on his side, but not even her yelling made the dad apologize to his son.

The aunt was furious as well and sympathized with her nephew. She didn’t mind bringing more plants to him, but the teen is devastated and now doesn’t trust his dad, because what is stopping him from doing the same thing again?

The OP agreed to see if he liked it, and it turned out that he really enjoyed it and started devoting a lot of time and effort to this hobby

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Image credits: Helena Jacoba (not the actual photo)

Image credits: u/threwmyplants

The son started the silent treatment against his dad and didn’t respond to any of his questions or even take a break for his dad’s birthday. It lasted for a week and then the mom started to think he was going too far by not wishing him happy birthday.

According to Healthline, indoor plants may help reduce stress levels and may help you concentrate better, thus boosting productivity. The process of growing a plant and watching it change is therapeutic and some research shows that the sight of plants may help with recovery from illness. A plant in a work space may lead to feeling more satisfaction with the results you achieved and obviously, some plants help with the quality of air.

The OP was deprived of all of this, so it is understandable why he felt hurt. Maybe it would help if he went to his aunt’s house for the summer, as someone in the comments suggested, but for now, he feels that the best way to cope with his feelings is not to engage in conversation with his dad.

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The problem was that his dad saw plants as a dumb hobby and a waste of time, so one day, he just threw everything out

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Image credits: u/threwmyplants

If we’re already talking about hobbies, it’s important for parents to encourage their kids’ hobbies, otherwise they are missing out on gaining important life and social skills, as Podar Education Network points out.

Hobbies are important because they help kids and teenagers develop, stimulate their brains and discover their talents. It’s also useful to explore what they excel at and try out things just to find out what they don’t enjoy as much.

Hobbies help them to connect with like-minded people and they are a good topic to bring up while talking with someone who is not familiar with the activity. Hobbies may some day turn into something lucrative as well or look good on a resume while looking for a job.

The teen was deeply hurt and stopped talking with his dad, which irritated him even more, especially when his son continued with the silent treatment on his birthday

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Image credits: Alan Stanton (not the actual image)

Image credits: u/threwmyplants

But it’s never good to force a hobby upon your child, like OP’s dad did when he tried to convince his son he should find something else to do in his free time.

Parents have to understand that their kids have their own interests and Mommy Nearest suggests that it’s best to keep it low pressure and to not punish them for changing their minds. They also point out that it is important to distinguish between you liking something and the child liking something, because a forced hobby is not fun, which it should be. If your children find something they like, encourage them, but don’t pressure them to be good at it.

The OP’s mom, who initially sided with her son, now also thinks that he is being unreasonable, but the teen wasn’t even apologized to

Image credits: u/threwmyplants

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Image credits: OakleyOrignals (not the actual image)

People in the comments thought that OP’s dad’s behavior and attitude against his hobby was sexist and it was unnecessarily cruel. They felt the teen’s pain and agreed that the dad needed to apologize, so they understood why the son didn’t wish him a happy birthday.

What are your thoughts? Do you think a week is a long enough punishment for the dad? Do you think the teen is hurting his dad more by not talking with him on his birthday than the dad hurt him by throwing away all his hard work? Let us know in the comments!

Redditors completely understood OP’s feelings and couldn’t understand why the dad would be so cruel for no valid reason

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mathiesen avatar
Pirates of Zen Pants
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about, "It's stupid to waste time destroying your kid's property, and it's not a 'parent thing.'" The father is alienating his son and stealing from him. It's not going to make the son question his love for plants. It's just going to make him question his love for his overcontrolling, mean-spirited Dad.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The father saw his child taking time and enjoyment with a healthy hobby and gave him a big 'f**k you' when he threw out not one but ALL of his plants.' Then he's bothered when his kid responds the same. Father is a real asshat.

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cgaboone avatar
benitavaldez avatar
Benita Valdez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So shītty. How is gardening not a "guy" thing? Sorry but the stereotypical male retiree in the US usually becomes a gardener because not only is it fulfilling , wait for it, it requires hard work and dedication (two traits looked for in a "guy "). And I'm pretty sure all farmers across the globe would disagree and say it most certainly is a "guy" thing

tiinabender avatar
Iifa A.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! And most farmers used to be male... I'm starting to think some people have gone too far with feminine or masculine labelling. Anything you're passionate about regardless of being great or not so great should be celebrated. Hobbies and interests build personality.

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mathiesen avatar
Pirates of Zen Pants
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about, "It's stupid to waste time destroying your kid's property, and it's not a 'parent thing.'" The father is alienating his son and stealing from him. It's not going to make the son question his love for plants. It's just going to make him question his love for his overcontrolling, mean-spirited Dad.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The father saw his child taking time and enjoyment with a healthy hobby and gave him a big 'f**k you' when he threw out not one but ALL of his plants.' Then he's bothered when his kid responds the same. Father is a real asshat.

Load More Replies...
cgaboone avatar
benitavaldez avatar
Benita Valdez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So shītty. How is gardening not a "guy" thing? Sorry but the stereotypical male retiree in the US usually becomes a gardener because not only is it fulfilling , wait for it, it requires hard work and dedication (two traits looked for in a "guy "). And I'm pretty sure all farmers across the globe would disagree and say it most certainly is a "guy" thing

tiinabender avatar
Iifa A.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! And most farmers used to be male... I'm starting to think some people have gone too far with feminine or masculine labelling. Anything you're passionate about regardless of being great or not so great should be celebrated. Hobbies and interests build personality.

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