Woman Puts A Lock On Her Home Office Because Of Her Husband’s Constant Interrupting, Later Learns He Removed It

If this is a room dedicated to your office, get a double deadbolt. You can lock it with a key from either side. If he doesn't like it, let him cry to mommy. He just doesn't want to parent or be a house husband. Time to kick him back to mommy.

I think the comment about how the mom thinks it's "unfair to prioritize work over family" clearly shows what sort of values he was taught growing up. Explicitly the sexist idea that a woman's first job is always to be a housewife.

So he has no regard for the breadwinner's work time, runs bawling to tattle to Mommy that he's actually expected to observe some boundaries, couldn't care less if the person supporting him gets fired for his antics......

I have an ex that never had a high stress or busy job the whole time we were together. During our so called relationship she cost me 2 jobs that I absolutely loved. I was extremely busy and had to be completely focused as to not make mistakes seeing as how if there was a mistake I would have to backtrack to find it which could possibly take hours or possibly even days. She was constantly texting to the tune of 300 or more and calling more than 100. I'd turn off my personal phone to get some quiet time but somehow she got my work phone number and started in on it. It got to be so disruptive that id have to stop everything and respond to her and in turn my work suffered the consequences of it. The first job I was fired under the guise of being laid off and the second fired me straight out and ended up telling me I needed to get a grip on my personal life or I'd never succeed at anything. Long story short, find a partner that respects boundaries your life could actually depend on it.

Red flag #1.) Spouse installs lock without communication. Red Flag #2.) Spouse uninstalls lock without communication. Do these people ever talk to each other?

Geez, why do couples bother to get married and have families if they clearly hate each other?

Men who have their parents argue their point are pathetic. Huge red flag.

Buy a doorstop and hide it when you aren’t using it. If he tries kicking down the door, call the police. But this is just a symptom, the marriage is in serious trouble. Counselling or divorece.

Why do people run to their mothers when a marital argument breaks out?!

My husband is retired and has a habit of reading what he finds interesting on line. He forgets I am working, during a Team's meeting he wandered over and put the kettle on ... quick camera off and mute ... I find it funny but he's got used to my hand signals to be quiet ... we don't have the room for me to have a separate office.

OP you are right, lock is appropriate. Steps you might take before divorce court. Sit down with him and the kids. Explain in simple sentences the importance of guarding your work hours. Explain you will need to find office space away from home if they can't understand your need to have structured work time. The interruptions decrease your productivity and could get you fired, you would lose your pay check that contributes to house hold income. Maybe come up with break times to give hugs to kids and hubby, etc. Now about his mommy, YUK, meet with her face to face and explain in simple English the importance of your income contribution to the home. Explain that working from home is as important as driving to a job and clocking in and out. To be the most productive, prevent getting fired and losing that income you need uninterrupted work time. You hope that everyone will understand and give you the space you need to do your job. Remind hubby that it is OUR home. Otherwise send him to mom

Throw away the whole man back to his mommy

Get one of those hotel style locks that you can use and then hide when done. And talk to your kids that when u are in that room they have to wait. He's a big baby. Tell him to go stay w mommy.

Oh, boy. The minute I read that his mommy got involved, I was done. I married a mommy's boy (now divorced!), and let me tell you - it NEVER changes. Everytime he didn't like something or agree with something, she'd be calling me up complaining. Everything was always my fault, because "her precious baby..." OP needs to run. Take the kids and run! Besides, it won't be "his house" anymore if he can't pay bills. Maybe he should learn that the hard way, though....

My coworkers wife HAS to have a lock on her WFH office door by company policy

He's toxic leave him

NTA, man is sabotaging her. Jealousy. Rivalry. He may not be aware he is doing it. My husband did it for years, forcing me to quit work to assuage his insecurities. He repeatedly lied on me to prospective employers if he answered the phone when there were job offers. One of my potential employers told me the things he was saying. He said he was scared I would leave him or find another man at work...really? I agreed to stay home with the kids for years, short circuit my own career for family. When the last kid graduated from college, he went crazy cuz I went back to work. He constantly tried to sabotage me but I moved out of state. Yes, married but separated is a real thing. He ended up literally working himself to death to prove to me abd himself he did not need my money. He died in a car accident after being too tired from overworking and being distracted ( we guess) after I asked for a divorce. By then we were estranged and he was acting crazy and erratic.

I think she needs to go to him and quietly and firmly ask what is this REALLY all about because I think he has picked a fight and audience and she is playing catch up. It's his house...she needs to see if he's cheating on her and ignore this side argument because I've seen it happen to two friends and though was different scenario for me I know men pick fights when cheating and try to exert more control and TEST you. This smells fishy as it escalated too fast because for him it is calculated and been slowly brewing and his lack of respect about work is a symptom of deeper lack of respect she hasn't been paying attention to. Also MIL is gaslighting you! She is backwards and will admit it if you say ma'am reverse the roles and tell him he isn't being a good dad if he doesn't stop work to help our kids when I say so and need him to do it. If she can't admit hypocrisy then tell her she is full of it and lost your respect completely. Tell her to talk to your daddy. Lol

Why not tell him that you're going to do it if he continues, first?

Run, don't walk, away ASAP. I divorced my husband 20 years ago bc of this kind of attitude and disrespect. Anything he came across that bugged him, he'd just throw away. Empty hangers left on top of dryer, small items left on kitchen windowsill to dry or get a little sun exposure. Something on *my* dresser he didn't like. This intensified to nasty verbal abuse, sulking, physical abuse of my beloved cat - which is the first time I told him if he didn't change his behavior, I would get an apt to use as my "home office," take my cat, and maybe visit occas when he was home from his business trips. Most typical cat's offense was walking on a LR side table. Had it not been my 2nd marriage I'd have left him after 4 months of marriage. Ultimately, my health declined and the verbal and emotional abuse *really* intensified. As soon as I got some hefty back pay on disability benefits, I made plans to get out. He was shocked. Best thing I ever did for myself. Zero regrets. GET OUT.

Get some standards and get rid of that pathetic excuse of a man... He shouldn't be married and definitely shouldnt have acces to children (and his mommy too) controling and misogynistic peoples are bad environment for kids...

The house is "his", but I guess the kids aren't? Seriously? He's the children's father. He needs to step up and watch his kids when his wife is working. (His wife watches the kids when he works--three days a week). If not, he is the neglectful parent in this equation.

I'm sorry to inform you that you are married to a narcissist. When you told him a few facts of life, he turned the tables on you (called gaslighting) and tried to make you the villain. Don't fall for it, and I'd leave if I were you. You're going to have a difficult life with this man.

I do not understand women who raise their male children to constantly be boys and not men. My son has been married 5 years having lived together for 2 years before that. Never once since he moved out has he come crying to me about how his wife hurt his feelings or disrespected him or didn't let him have his way and wanted me to fix it. This woman is in for a bumpy ride. She has children with this man-child so even if she divorces him, she'll still have to deal with him and his mommy. Lay out a budget on how much it will cost to rent office space, the cost of gas commuting, loss, extra up keep on the car, the fact that he will have to increase his hours at work to make up for extra expenses and additional cost of child care. That might help wake his dumb brain up. And she should probably tell him she thought she married a man and not a little boy who runs to his mummy when his feelings get hurt. If that doesn't work then find a good divorce lawyer. Better to be a single mom.

This guy needs at least few therapy sessions and this would only be beginning to fixing marriage problems here, since in real relationship, there is no my house, it is always both together, not one boss and subordinate. Plus like mother like son and he went crying to her... I have my doubts this will get any better. High ego, low independency and trying to hide insecurities isn't good combo.

how would you all feel if he or your husband installed a lock on the garage or his workshop, if he has one, to shut you out? its the same thing. and if i came home to find my wife had decided to install a lock on any room in our house without discussing it with me i would have done the exact same thing as him and possibly would have installed a new lock on the front door. and i love how you all assume he relies on her to pay the rent based on the info that he barely works 3 days. maybe he makes more in 3 days than she does in 5.just a bunch of man hating dykes.

Think about your own mental health......

Your marriage is not a three-way conversation, I'd be quick to put that MIL in her place. If he has something to say about it he's welcome to go live with her bc that sounds like exactly where he needs to be. That was in no way an AH move on your part...it was the truth. That is your JOB. There are so many reason why them interrupting your work is or could be an issue. Privacy and security is what came to mind when I read it, but namely yes you could lose your job bc your productivity is suffering. That husband is a first class jerk and very childish/selfish/lazy, I could go on. He is disrespecting you, your privacy, and your contribution to the family. I'm not sure how you could think you were overreacting for even a minute.

I'd leave a man for that kind of s**t

Sadly, when I WFH I'm treated the same way. It's really gotten to he point where I might as well not do it. But your husband is being a little b***h... Full stop

He does not respect you as a person maybe he sees you as property that he can do with as he wishes and the icing on the cake a mama's boy.

just get a divorce already

I've seen similar situations and the truth is, these outbursts don't just suddenly appear overnight. Apparently, he seems to be narcissistic, immature and needy and probably has always been. Perhaps it's time to reproiritize yourself (put yourself and kids first) and let his mom finish raising him. Now that being said, there are always two sides to every story and it'd be interesting getting his take on the situation. Although, narcissists are ALWAYS the victim.