Woman With Cancer Tells Husband She Can’t Do It All Anymore, He Disagrees Completely

Marriage vows traditionally involve promises of love, fidelity, and support. They are meant to last a lifetime, “for better, or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness, and in health.” 

However, some people seem to be confused about the concept of support. This man relies on his wife to do the house chores way too much, even those supposedly assigned to him. He refuses to help her out even after she has been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. 

The woman is now worried that, in her weakened condition, she may still need to do the extra work. Read the entire story below. 

The division of chores is one of the most common issues among married couples

Woman with cancer looking distressed while sitting at a table, holding a tissue and reflecting on chores and support.

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This woman has ended up doing most of the work because her husband refuses to help

Text excerpt of a woman with cancer asking her husband for help with chores while he says she is not doing enough.

Woman with cancer explains typical gender roles and caregiving duties including chores and child appointments.

Woman with cancer asking husband for help with chores while feeling she is doing all the housework alone.

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Text excerpt from a woman with cancer describing how her husband refuses to help with chores despite her requests.

Woman with cancer asking husband for help with chores, facing conflict over not doing enough around the house.

Woman with cancer looking distressed while a concerned woman offers support during a conversation in a bright room

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She has been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, yet her spouse continues to burden her with more work

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Text on a white background explaining a woman with cancer preparing to start chemotherapy and needing to take time off work.

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Woman with cancer asks husband for help with chores while struggling with illness and managing household tasks.

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Men tend to choose household tasks that they can do on their own time

While the division of household responsibilities is now more even between husband and wife, women generally still carry the bulk of the workload. 

Eve Rodsky, who wrote the bestseller Fair Play: Reese’s Book Club: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live), explains that men cherry-pick the tasks they can do on their own time. 

At the same time, they will leave the repetitive jobs to their wives, such as preparing meals, washing dishes, and dropping off and picking up children at school. Unlike home and car repairs or putting together furniture, these are inflexible and time-sensitive tasks. 

Unfortunately, it has taken a toll on women, and understandably so. As domestic labor educator Laura Danger tells HuffPost, they lose their autonomy over their time while their husbands maintain theirs. 

“If you get busy and forget to trim the grass, you can always get to it the following weekend. The same can’t be said about the dishes or dinners,” she said. 

While the man is in the wrong for not helping his ailing wife, the woman should also know where to draw the line. As Danger states, “Hold boundaries and don’t swoop in to save the day.” 

University of Southern California psychology professor Darby Saxbe also emphasized the importance of speaking up. 

“I think saying, ‘I’m doing more of the things that I don’t get to control when I do them or how often I do them. Is there a way to divide this up better?’ is a great way to start the conversation,” she said in the same HuffPost interview. 

Going back to the story, the husband’s refusal to help despite his wife’s diagnosis is a major red flag in itself. It’s up to the woman to set her boundaries and wake her husband up to the reality of their situation. 

If she intends to keep the marriage intact, she must do something to enact change because having it go on may only be more burdensome to their marriage down the road. 

The woman provided more details about her story

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