Woman Shares Her Struggles With Husband Who Keeps Leaving And Coming Back, Gets A Reality Check

Healthy romantic relationships require lots of consistent effort to make them work. It’s unfair if it’s just you who’s trying to make things work. But sometimes, after so many years together, it’s hard to admit that your significant other might always have been a walking red flag.

In a series of raw online posts, a woman chronicled how her toxic husband kept leaving her and then trying to worm his way back into her life—over and over and over again. The woman asked the ‘Relationship Advice’ community for help, and netizens rushed to support her. Scroll down for the full saga about how this woman reclaimed her life.

Trust, respect, and good communication are fundamental in healthy relationships

Pensive woman sitting in a chair, reflecting on struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

This woman turned to the internet for help after opening up about her husband’s repeatedly toxic and unstable behavior

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, seeking advice and a reality check.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing emotional challenges in their rocky relationship.

Text excerpt about a woman sharing her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Text excerpt describing a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Text excerpt showing a woman sharing struggles with her husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing challenges and emotional pain in relationship.

Text stating struggles shared by woman about husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check.

Text excerpt showing a woman’s struggles with her husband who keeps leaving and coming back, feeling unloved and unappreciated.

Alt text: Woman shares her struggles with husband leaving and coming back, seeking validation and reality check on her decisions

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back during a serious and emotional conversation at home.

Image credits: Gabriel Ponton (not the actual photo)

Text asking about next steps to stay strong in decision and establish a healthy co-parenting relationship after struggles with husband.

Image source: Suspicious-Rock-1661

Controlling tendencies, disrespect, dishonesty, and gaslighting are just a few main relationship red flags

Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)

Recognizing relationship red flags is easier to do when you’re looking at strangers, instead of thinking about you and your partner. We all have blind spots where our loved ones are concerned. And when you’ve been with your significant other for years and years, some glaring problems might not be as obvious to you as to your family and friends.

Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, care, love, and affection by their partner. If it’s just one person who’s doing all of the hard work in the relationship, while their partner has completely checked out, keeps sending mixed signals, or keeps criticizing them, it’s completely unfair to them.

From the information that the woman shared about her soon-to-be ex-husband, it seems like he exhibits numerous problematic behaviors, from controlling tendencies, low emotional intelligence, and a lack of self-regulation to substance misuse, manipulation, mistrust, and a lack of honesty. It’s painful to imagine anyone in his wife and kids’ situation. The man likely needs long-term help from a therapist, spanning years, if he’s ever to change.

As Verywell Mind explains, relationships often grow, change, and sometimes fall apart over time. “A relationship might be mostly healthy when things are going well, but the addition of stressors can create strain. People may respond by falling back on unhealthy coping mechanisms or by engaging in behaviors that are ultimately harmful to the health of their relationships.”

Some of the main red flags of unhealthy relationships include the following behaviors: control, blame, disrespect, betrayal, dishonesty, drama, fear, gaslighting, guilt, isolation, intimidation, jealousy, poor communication, unhappiness, financial dishonesty, stress, negativity, and ridicule.

Other signs that should set off anyone’s inner alarm bells are indications of verbal, emotional, physical, or mental violence.

Broadly speaking, in unhealthy relationships, a toxic individual might try to control their partner’s life through manipulation or intimidation. They might try to isolate you from your family and friends, cut off your access to finances or communication, or make it difficult for you to leave them.

Poor communication and over-the-top anger are unhealthy. They indicate that your significant other has much room for personal growth

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

They might be overly jealous or possessive, trying to control what you do and who you meet, checking your phone or possessions without permission, and being upset if they can’t reach you. They may also accuse you of infidelity out of nowhere.

These toxic partners are often disrespectful toward their significant others. For example, they might be dismissive of them or ridicule their opinions or interests. On top of that, they are very poor communicators.

“Unhealthy relationships are often marked by patterns of ineffective communication. This might involve not talking about problems, avoiding difficult issues, expecting the other person to be a mind reader, not listening, getting defensive, or stonewalling in order to avoid confronting problems in the relationship,” Verywell Mind stresses.

“Communication style has been shown to be a key predictor of divorce and has more of an impact than commitment, stress, and personality when it comes to marital success.”

In the meantime, WebMD warns that other major relationship red flags include over-the-top anger, chronic dishonesty, isolation, and blurry boundaries.

For example, anger is a fairly normal human reaction. Every human being feels this emotion. However, someone who is emotionally unhealthy might lash out when they get frustrated over the tiniest things. Or they might use anger to make their partner fear them, thus controlling them.

Meanwhile, if your significant other is frequently dishonest about things like who they’re texting and who they’re meeting, it is an indication that they might not trust or respect you. “If your partner seems to skirt around the truth, hide large parts of their life from you, or refuse to make your relationship public, these are big red flags,” WebMD states.

Toxic partners also try to isolate their significant others, while healthy individuals encourage you to pursue your own goals, dreams, and interests. Another massive red flag to keep an eye out for is if the individual has blurry emotional, physical, and financial boundaries.

What are your thoughts, dear Pandas? What would you do if your long-term partner suddenly decided to leave you, out of nowhere, only to come back, then dump you, and repeat that again and again? How do you protect your boundaries, peace, and well-being in romantic relationships? Let us know in the comments.

Many internet users rushed to support the woman. Here are some of the main pieces of advice they gave her

Screenshot of an online conversation where a woman shares struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving advice and a reality check on toxic relationships

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back and gets a reality check in an online discussion.

Text comment about legal advice for women dealing with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back in a difficult relationship.

Commenter advises woman dealing with husband who keeps leaving and coming back to prioritize safety and seek legal help.

Comment on woman’s struggles with husband repeatedly leaving and coming back, offering a reality check and advice.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman’s struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Alt text: Comment sharing advice on woman’s struggles with husband repeatedly leaving and coming back, offering a reality check.

Comment discussing the struggles of a woman with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check.

Text conversation highlighting a woman’s struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Alt text: Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back and receives a reality check on their relationship challenges

Comment advising a woman on struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, suggesting legal action and separation steps.

Alt text: Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back while receiving a reality check online.

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back during a difficult conversation at home

Comment advising a woman to avoid taking back her husband who keeps leaving and coming back, suggesting a divorce lawyer.

Comment advising a woman dealing with a husband who leaves and returns, emphasizing children’s safety and legal advice.

Advice on managing struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, including financial and emotional tips.

Comment on woman sharing struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check.

Woman shares struggles with husband leaving and coming back repeatedly, receiving a tough reality check in a candid post.

Comment discussing a woman’s struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check.

Comment about woman’s struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, offering a reality check on the situation.

Text from a woman sharing struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check about family impact.

Comment advising a woman on struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back, suggesting legal and protective actions.

Comment about a woman sharing struggles with husband repeatedly leaving and returning, receiving a reality check on relationship issues.

Screenshot of an online comment where a user encourages a woman sharing struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Woman sharing struggles with husband leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check while sitting at a table with a laptop.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

Later, the woman shared an important update about her marriage situation

Text update from a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check.

Text on a plain white background reading I just wanted to address a few things mentioned in the comments and then give an update.

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, reflecting on relationship challenges and emotions.

Text excerpt showing a woman sharing struggles with her husband pressuring her in their relationship history.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check on their relationship challenges.

Text excerpt describing a woman's struggles with her husband leaving and returning, reflecting relationship challenges.

Text excerpt showing a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing challenges in their relationship dynamics.

Text excerpt showing a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who lies and uses illicit substances despite her boundaries.

Text excerpt describing a woman’s struggles with her husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing friendship issues.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, reflecting on her role as a married single mum.

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, seeking advice and a reality check.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing challenges in their relationship dynamics.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, feeling overwhelmed and betrayed by distrust.

Man lying in bed looking at a red smartphone, reflecting the struggles of a woman with a husband repeatedly leaving and returning.

Image credits: Victoria Romulo (not the actual photo)

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing emotional ups and downs in their relationship.

Alt text: Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing a tough reality check about their relationship.

Text excerpt showing a woman sharing struggles with her husband who keeps leaving and coming back while seeking legal and counseling support.

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing challenges and emotional reality check.

Text on screen showing a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Text on a white background showing a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Image source: Suspicious-Rock-1661

Here’s how various people reacted to the update

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation showing a woman sharing struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Commenter shares advice on struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, reflecting on relationship challenges.

Comment discussing strategies for women dealing with husbands who keep leaving and coming back, offering a reality check.

Woman shares struggles with husband leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check about their relationship challenges.

Woman sitting on couch holding a cup, looking pensive, illustrating struggles with husband leaving and coming back.

Image credits: Igor Shalyminov (not the actual photo)

The author then wrote a follow-up post to inform her supporters of what’s been happening

Text post update from woman sharing her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back and getting a reality check.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, expressing her decision to end the relationship.

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing challenges in separating finances and moving on.

Text excerpt showing a woman sharing her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back and finding strength in her resolution.

Text showing a woman sharing her struggles with her husband who keeps leaving and coming back, seeking peace at home.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, seeking advice on custody and divorce negotiations

Text overlay on a plain white background expressing gratitude for support during a difficult time.

Image source: Suspicious-Rock-1661

This is what netizens had to say after reading it

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check in online comments.

Alt text: Screenshot of a supportive online conversation about a woman’s struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check in online support comments

Screenshot of an online discussion about a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who repeatedly leaves and returns.

User comments discussing a woman’s struggles with her husband leaving and coming back, reflecting on relationship challenges.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation where a woman shares struggles with her husband leaving and coming back repeatedly.

Screenshot of an online forum where a woman shares struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Couple discussing issues with husband leaving and coming back, with a judge's gavel in focus on the table.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

In a final update, the woman revealed what things are like now that everything has calmed down

Text update from a woman sharing her struggles with husband leaving and coming back, providing a reality check.

Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, experiencing emotional challenges and a reality check.

Text describing struggles of a woman with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back, facing a reality check.

Text about a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back, reflecting on toxic behavior.

Alt text: Woman shares her struggles with husband leaving and coming back, describing a peaceful inner world with her kids amid chaos.

Woman shares struggles with husband leaving and coming back, reflecting on family challenges and reality check received.

Text image showing a woman sharing her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back and expressing gratitude.

Woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back while holding her smiling young daughter by the window

Image credits: Colin + Meg (not the actual photo)

Alt text: Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back while receiving a reality check and support online.

Image source: Suspicious-Rock-1661

People were overjoyed with the surprisingly positive ending

Forum user shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receiving a reality check in the comments section.

Online comments showing a woman’s struggles with a husband who leaves and returns, receiving a reality check in discussion.

Screenshot of an online comment where a woman shares her struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Screenshot of a woman sharing her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back getting a reality check in comments.

Alt text: Woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, receives support and a reality check in comments.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation where a woman shares her struggles with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Reddit conversation showing a woman sharing struggles with her husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Commenter supports woman sharing struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back, praising her inner strength and journey.

Screenshot of an online conversation where a woman shares struggles with her husband repeatedly leaving and returning.

Screenshot of an online conversation where a woman shares struggles with husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a woman sharing her struggles with husband leaving and coming back.

Reddit user sharing support and encouragement with a woman struggling with a husband who keeps leaving and coming back.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning about the impact on children when a husband keeps leaving and coming back.

Comment on a woman sharing struggles with husband leaving and coming back, advising therapy for kids and self-care.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!