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“AITA For Embarrassing My Wife In Front Of Our Friends By Not Going Along With Her Lie?”
Many dads get a bad rep for not pulling their weight when it comes to childcare and housework. But not all fathers are cut from the same cloth. There are loads of men who do their fair share without expecting any praise or publicity.
One guy has told how he kept everything going while his wife was away on a long solo trip abroad. The stay-at-home mom returned to a clean house, happy kids and zero chaos or drama. Yet she felt the need to tell friends that her husband couldn’t cope without her while she was away, and that things were a disaster. When he called her out on the lie, all hell broke loose…
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She lied to their friends by painting him as an incompetent father and expected him to go along with the “joke”
Image credits: thelivephotos / Envato (not the actual photo)
When he set the record straight, she lost it and ordered him to sleep on the couch
Image credits: MKU018 / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aita_maybeinthewrong
Here’s why some people make others feel “less than” and what to do about it
Belittling or demeaning someone is basically treating them in a way that makes them feel “less than.” Some people do it on purpose, while others act unintentionally. Either way, it’s insensitive and damaging.
According to experts, there are a few reasons why someone may engage in this type of behavior. The first is because they’re trying to make themselves feel more powerful or important, and in their mind, the way to achieve this is by putting someone else down. They might have low self-esteem and again, think the best way to build themselves up is by making others feel inferior.
“They may be insecure in the relationship and need to control the other person to maintain their status or power within it,” adds The Practical Psych (TPP) site. “They may believe that making someone else feel small will help them appear more capable or successful in comparison.”
Perhaps they’re jealous or insecure about the other person’s life, accomplishments, or relationships, and this is their way of masking it.
If you’re on the receiving end of belittling, keep in mind that you can’t control someone’s behavior. But you can control how you react, or whether you choose to have them around you. If this person is someone you do want in your life, experts advise that you communicate your feelings clearly. Tell them exactly how their behavior affects you.
Image credits: Aarón Blanco Tejedor / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“First, test the water and let the person know their behavior is unwanted and/or having a negative impact. Their response to this will help you determine your next strategy,” advises the TPP team. They add that if the person shows genuine concern for your well-being, you should move on to the next step.
“Give details on how their behaviour is affecting you. Provide facts in as calm a manner as possible. Resist the urge to lash out or respond angrily,” explain the experts. “This is easier said than done, but it will raise the chances of a positive outcome.”
It’s important to give the other person a chance to respond and share their view on the situation. Not only does this show respect, but it also helps you when you hear their perspective.
TPP adds that you should be clear on what outcome you want to see. This might be a specific change in their behavior, therapy, or something else.
Finally, it’s useful to gently guide the person to learn skills that steer them away from belittling you or anyone else. For example, they could read up on how to give and receive constructive criticism. To keep accountability, the two of you could set a date and agree to check in and follow up on whether there have been any positive changes.
Many people took the hubby’s side and felt the wife should have told the truth
Some felt both the husband and wife could have done better
And then there were those who called out the husband for not dealing with it privately
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What do you think ?
Shark Lady 23 hours ago
She went about it in the wrong way, you should never bring down your partner especially in front of others. However, I do believe that this was a major signal that she feels like she is no longer needed and is feeling insecure and insignificant. If the couple are struggling to communicate effectively with each other, they should definitely book a few sessions of couple's therapy.
Papa 11 hours ago
Maybe she does feel insecure and insignificant, but that does not excuse or justify belittling her husband in front of other people.
Load More Replies...
🇳🇬 Asi Bassey 🇳🇬 22 hours ago
I once had a friend who often tried to bring me down in the presence of other people, but for a wife to do this is deeply concerning. That said, this is only a symptom of a deeper problem. Why does she feel insecure? Why has she resorted to hinging her self worth on her ability to run their household? She must be a multifaceted person and is able to provide value in several ways so what is missing? P.S. I am not excusing her assholic behaviour.
Shelley Colleen 21 hours ago
I get the idea that wifey might have been taking a *lot* of unearned shït from judgy family members during her time trapped abroad. A person can only tolerate so much bŭllshit from an unkind parent, sibling, grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc. before it starts rotting their psyche. Especially if the person is helplessly separated from their children.
KatSaidThat 17 hours ago
Nope, not letting anyone lie about me in front of me to make themselves look better.
Crystalwitch60 18 hours ago
No update pfft , she defo went about the wrong way , things are only a joke , if the other person also finds it funny , he didn’t !! What I’m getting from this , she realised he is capable , so maybe she needs to get back to work , more money coming in so husband can work normal hours = more time together , and share housework laundry cooking ! Win win but she was 100% in the wrong here op was right , and the stroppy mare can sleep on the bloody sofa ,pfft
Alexandra 14 hours ago
Maybe unpopular, but if OP's wife feels worthless, she should do something about that herself and not depend on anyone else to provide her worth for her. That never works long-term, you see. Leading a life that is defined by someone else or your 'worth' to someone else is almost guaranteed to bite you in the a*s later on in life. It seems as if she lacks her own sense of identity. It also seems as if she's afraid to find out who she is. Maybe odd, but the fact that OP is able to manage the family without needing her but still wanting her there should give her the reassurance that she is wanted for herself, not for what she can do for them.
Shark Lady 23 hours ago
She went about it in the wrong way, you should never bring down your partner especially in front of others. However, I do believe that this was a major signal that she feels like she is no longer needed and is feeling insecure and insignificant. If the couple are struggling to communicate effectively with each other, they should definitely book a few sessions of couple's therapy.
Papa 11 hours ago
Maybe she does feel insecure and insignificant, but that does not excuse or justify belittling her husband in front of other people.
Load More Replies... 🇳🇬 Asi Bassey 🇳🇬 22 hours ago
I once had a friend who often tried to bring me down in the presence of other people, but for a wife to do this is deeply concerning. That said, this is only a symptom of a deeper problem. Why does she feel insecure? Why has she resorted to hinging her self worth on her ability to run their household? She must be a multifaceted person and is able to provide value in several ways so what is missing? P.S. I am not excusing her assholic behaviour.
Shelley Colleen 21 hours ago
I get the idea that wifey might have been taking a *lot* of unearned shït from judgy family members during her time trapped abroad. A person can only tolerate so much bŭllshit from an unkind parent, sibling, grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc. before it starts rotting their psyche. Especially if the person is helplessly separated from their children.
KatSaidThat 17 hours ago
Nope, not letting anyone lie about me in front of me to make themselves look better.
Crystalwitch60 18 hours ago
No update pfft , she defo went about the wrong way , things are only a joke , if the other person also finds it funny , he didn’t !! What I’m getting from this , she realised he is capable , so maybe she needs to get back to work , more money coming in so husband can work normal hours = more time together , and share housework laundry cooking ! Win win but she was 100% in the wrong here op was right , and the stroppy mare can sleep on the bloody sofa ,pfft
Alexandra 14 hours ago
Maybe unpopular, but if OP's wife feels worthless, she should do something about that herself and not depend on anyone else to provide her worth for her. That never works long-term, you see. Leading a life that is defined by someone else or your 'worth' to someone else is almost guaranteed to bite you in the a*s later on in life. It seems as if she lacks her own sense of identity. It also seems as if she's afraid to find out who she is. Maybe odd, but the fact that OP is able to manage the family without needing her but still wanting her there should give her the reassurance that she is wanted for herself, not for what she can do for them.
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