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191
“AITA For Yelling At A Mom And Her Kid To Get Out Of My Home?”
Interview With AuthorHaving people over can be a lot of fun, but, inevitably, there will always be someone who ends up breaking rules or just disrespecting the host. People have rules in their own home for a reason, so someone blatantly doing what they were told to not do is a recipe for drama.
A woman asked the internet if she was wrong to kick someone out of her home when her guest brought a toddler to dungeons and dragons night without warning or permission. We got in touch with the woman who made the post and she was kind enough to give us some more details.
RELATED:
Guests who don’t have basic decency are a real pain
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
So one woman ended up having to kick someone out of game night
Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Tick_agent
The story ended up being somewhat divisive
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who made the post and she was kind enough to give us some more details. First and foremost, we wanted to know what happened next. “There have been updates, I’m writing an update for the post, I just got stuck picking things to elaborate on. In short, Sarah reached out and apologized. She behaved the way she did because she’s thinking about becoming a parent herself and is scared. I think people found it engaging because it’s emotionally charged and includes an entitled parent. People have a lot of pent up emotions on that subject, as most (especially women) are expected to like and want them, saying “I don’t want them in my house” is difficult and socially dangerous to do… Unless you’re anonymous on reddit,” she shared.
“Parents with young kids also often make other people feel like they’re walking on eggshells around a hurricane as the kids can wreak havoc and you can’t do anything about it while still feeling like a decent person. If you say anything to the kid you risk the parent screaming at you with “don’t talk to my kid (like that)”, if you say anything to the parent they’ll either retaliate and get angry at you, get angry and punish their kid, ignore and dismiss you, or look beaten and apologize- at this moment you know this is incredibly difficult, stressful and tiring for them, they feel alienated and helpless and you just contributed to that, and now you feel worse than you did when you had to deal with the kid. There’s really no winning.”
Many readers also seemed to not understand what it can be like to own a dog
“So when they see someone snap at a parent after being pushed like that, they see it as some sadistic justice. Most comments haven’t been much help, as they assume a lot about me, my dog and my friends and don’t give actionable advice or ask honest questions. However, some have been! I appreciate people saying I should have turned them around at the door and telling me to defend myself online. I also loved seeing the well-adjusted parents who kept a social life after having kids.”
The post itself ended up going quite viral which meant tons of comments and reactions. The worst part of this whole thing to me are the responses to my dog,” she shared. “The public is horribly uninformed about dogs, even the people who think they’re doing things right (“I tell my kids to let the dog sniff their hand first”). I’m an unusual guardian, sure, in so much as I do my best to stay informed and treat my dog as a worthy, intelligent individual. I get backlash at every step of the way: for training, doing sports, letting her sleep on the bed, not forcing her to interact with everyone etc. There’s so much “let her just be a dog” from people whose idea of being a dog is being chronically bored, misunderstood, and treated like a toy. It breaks my heart.”
There are so many reasons why someone should not bring a toddler over uninvited
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Game night is typically designed as an evening for relaxed fun and focused interaction, where guests gather to enjoy board games, card games, or other planned activities. When a guest brings a toddler without prior permission or warning, it disrupts the delicate balance the host has carefully planned. The inclusion of a toddler can introduce unpredictable noise, movement, and needs that the host may not be prepared to accommodate, potentially derailing the evening’s flow.
Many game nights are structured around quiet concentration, friendly competition, and socializing in an environment intended for adults or older children. Toddlers, with their boundless energy and need for constant stimulation, can inadvertently cause distractions that pull attention away from the games. Their presence might also lead to a chaotic atmosphere, forcing the host and other guests to shift their focus from enjoying the planned activities to managing unexpected interruptions.
Furthermore, bringing a toddler unannounced puts the host in a difficult position. They might not have the necessary arrangements or child-friendly space to ensure the toddler’s safety and comfort, and this oversight can result in stress for both the host and the parent. It can also place an unfair burden on the host, who may need to divert attention from the event to address the needs of the child, ultimately compromising the intended ambiance of the evening. Beyond the immediate disruption, unplanned additions to a guest list can affect the overall dynamics of the event. Other guests, expecting a quiet and mature atmosphere, might feel uneasy or distracted by the unexpected presence of a toddler. This can lead to discomfort, dampened enthusiasm, and even conflict if the unannounced guest’s needs clash with the expectations of the gathering.
Some folks wanted more details
A few readers thought she was right to kick the mom out
But some thought she could have handled the situation better
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What do you think ?
MotherofGuineaPigs 8 months ago
I had my boyfriends brother and kid over one time. The kid tried to sit on the cat, she scratched him. Crying began and the dad went punish the cat. I stepped in front of him. She lives here, you need to teach your kid to leave other people's pets alone.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
My mother once full-on punched my cat for jumping up onto the kitchen countertop in MY HOUSE. (I live next door to my mom/sister and she had come into my house to ask me something.) My boyfriend and I both were furious, angry words were exchanged, and I told my mom to get out of my house and to never touch my animals again. I don't take my cats (or my dogs) over into her house and let them jump up on things - but in MY house, my cats are allowed to go where they please. I cannot FATHOM trying to "punish" another person's pet while you are a guest in that person's home - at most, I can picture trying to hold off an aggressive/reactive dog or cat from attacking me if it decided to take me on (as I am, to be fair, an intruder in THEIR home, lol) but I'd also expect the animal's owner to step in and help remove their pet from me at that point.
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Ace 8 months ago
Glad to see that last YTA comment - all the others were far too reasonable, so needed that one to balance things up a bit more towards the 'unhinged'. I love how they blame the dog rather than the toddler, when nothing even happened with the dog.
Dragons Exist 8 months ago
Welcome to r/aita, where the dog that was just existing is suddenly an àsshole
Load More Replies...
Michael MacKinnon 8 months ago
Having played when I was young(er), I have to say: there's no way to make four-sided and eight-sided dice toddler safe. Those pointy ends are dangerous. I wouldn't want to imagine (but now I am) what those would do to a toddler's esophagus on the way down. And whether or not the ***host*** knew that the dog was calm and safe isn't the issue -- ***mom*** didn't (and couldn't) know that, and yet let her kid go running towards the dog anyways.
Anxious&Bored Bear 8 months ago
Maybe it's the introvert in me, but I can't imagine riding in a car with my toddler for 1.5 hours to go to a stranger's house, where I only know 1 person: the one who drove me.
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
About toddlers and dogs: I used to have a medium-sized mixed breed with relatively short legs. We walked always with a leash. The dog was reasonably friendly, not trained, usually didn't bother whem met with people, and seemed to fancy kids. Until a toddler, a few steps from their mother started shouting and running with open, slightly upward held arms toward the dog. The child clearly intended to frighten doggo. My dog just moved behind his humans, to safety, never retaliated the attack, and, of course, we stepped between the attacker and our furball. From that time, if we ever saw a child, the dog tried to remove himself from the situation, or hid behind us. Never attacked anyone, chiefly, any child, but never liked kids anymore.
Marianne 8 months ago
Anne seems to be quite a piece of work. 1. She comes along as a "friend of a friend", but still thinks it's fine to cancel more than once, wehen the consequence is that the whole event has to be postponed. When I know that childcare is not ensured, maybe I won't join a group for an extended game of this sort. 2. She brings a child to a stranger's home unannounced. Apart from the fact that this is really rude, it's also dangerous for her child. She culdn't have known if the place is safe. 3. What kind of toddler will enjoy an evening with only strangers in a strange place, while their mother doesn't have time to play with them? How did she think this would turn out? 4. Her child makes a mess in the toilet and she is surprised that she is expected to clean it? Did she expect a maid there? 5. There is a strange dog in the house and the mother just ... lets her child run towards it? Does she just assume that every dog is nice to children?
Lily 8 months ago
First, you don't bring children without checking. Second, you ask permission to approach a dog. Third, when your child is completely out of control, you step out and away. Some mothers expect others to accommodate them - no. It's an adult gathering, not a play date. She shouldn't have come. While she did scream at the woman, it was in direct response to the mother screaming at her, so in a way justified after the cascade of issues that really should have been stopped.
Ronja Oksanen 8 months ago
As a DnD player, I would have immediately at the door say you can't come! It's not discriminating anyone or gatekeeping, it's common sense for f sake. The game session would be ruined with a kid running around breaking immersion and just no. The mother didn't know that much of the game so i unserstand she didn't realize it was a really bad idea to bring the kid, but she has no right to be offended or angry for being thrown out, especially when knowing the ignore the dog rule and immediately breaking it.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
It also didn't necessarily sound like a child friendly game, and I'd bet that the mother would have freaked out if someone had said or done something in game that her child later picked up
Load More Replies... MotherofGuineaPigs 8 months ago
I had my boyfriends brother and kid over one time. The kid tried to sit on the cat, she scratched him. Crying began and the dad went punish the cat. I stepped in front of him. She lives here, you need to teach your kid to leave other people's pets alone.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
My mother once full-on punched my cat for jumping up onto the kitchen countertop in MY HOUSE. (I live next door to my mom/sister and she had come into my house to ask me something.) My boyfriend and I both were furious, angry words were exchanged, and I told my mom to get out of my house and to never touch my animals again. I don't take my cats (or my dogs) over into her house and let them jump up on things - but in MY house, my cats are allowed to go where they please. I cannot FATHOM trying to "punish" another person's pet while you are a guest in that person's home - at most, I can picture trying to hold off an aggressive/reactive dog or cat from attacking me if it decided to take me on (as I am, to be fair, an intruder in THEIR home, lol) but I'd also expect the animal's owner to step in and help remove their pet from me at that point.
Load More Replies... Ace 8 months ago
Glad to see that last YTA comment - all the others were far too reasonable, so needed that one to balance things up a bit more towards the 'unhinged'. I love how they blame the dog rather than the toddler, when nothing even happened with the dog.
Dragons Exist 8 months ago
Welcome to r/aita, where the dog that was just existing is suddenly an àsshole
Load More Replies... Michael MacKinnon 8 months ago
Having played when I was young(er), I have to say: there's no way to make four-sided and eight-sided dice toddler safe. Those pointy ends are dangerous. I wouldn't want to imagine (but now I am) what those would do to a toddler's esophagus on the way down. And whether or not the ***host*** knew that the dog was calm and safe isn't the issue -- ***mom*** didn't (and couldn't) know that, and yet let her kid go running towards the dog anyways.
Anxious&Bored Bear 8 months ago
Maybe it's the introvert in me, but I can't imagine riding in a car with my toddler for 1.5 hours to go to a stranger's house, where I only know 1 person: the one who drove me.
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
About toddlers and dogs: I used to have a medium-sized mixed breed with relatively short legs. We walked always with a leash. The dog was reasonably friendly, not trained, usually didn't bother whem met with people, and seemed to fancy kids. Until a toddler, a few steps from their mother started shouting and running with open, slightly upward held arms toward the dog. The child clearly intended to frighten doggo. My dog just moved behind his humans, to safety, never retaliated the attack, and, of course, we stepped between the attacker and our furball. From that time, if we ever saw a child, the dog tried to remove himself from the situation, or hid behind us. Never attacked anyone, chiefly, any child, but never liked kids anymore.
Marianne 8 months ago
Anne seems to be quite a piece of work. 1. She comes along as a "friend of a friend", but still thinks it's fine to cancel more than once, wehen the consequence is that the whole event has to be postponed. When I know that childcare is not ensured, maybe I won't join a group for an extended game of this sort. 2. She brings a child to a stranger's home unannounced. Apart from the fact that this is really rude, it's also dangerous for her child. She culdn't have known if the place is safe. 3. What kind of toddler will enjoy an evening with only strangers in a strange place, while their mother doesn't have time to play with them? How did she think this would turn out? 4. Her child makes a mess in the toilet and she is surprised that she is expected to clean it? Did she expect a maid there? 5. There is a strange dog in the house and the mother just ... lets her child run towards it? Does she just assume that every dog is nice to children?
Lily 8 months ago
First, you don't bring children without checking. Second, you ask permission to approach a dog. Third, when your child is completely out of control, you step out and away. Some mothers expect others to accommodate them - no. It's an adult gathering, not a play date. She shouldn't have come. While she did scream at the woman, it was in direct response to the mother screaming at her, so in a way justified after the cascade of issues that really should have been stopped.
Ronja Oksanen 8 months ago
As a DnD player, I would have immediately at the door say you can't come! It's not discriminating anyone or gatekeeping, it's common sense for f sake. The game session would be ruined with a kid running around breaking immersion and just no. The mother didn't know that much of the game so i unserstand she didn't realize it was a really bad idea to bring the kid, but she has no right to be offended or angry for being thrown out, especially when knowing the ignore the dog rule and immediately breaking it.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
It also didn't necessarily sound like a child friendly game, and I'd bet that the mother would have freaked out if someone had said or done something in game that her child later picked up
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