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Sometimes, the funniest moments in life are the ones nobody planned for. A perfectly ordinary day can suddenly turn hilarious when someone slips at the wrong moment, a stranger says something wildly unexpected, or a completely innocent situation spirals into disaster.
That was the idea behind a recent Reddit question asking people to share the funniest thing they had ever witnessed right in front of them. The responses went from perfectly timed mishaps to incredibly strange encounters that would sound completely made up if someone hadn’t been there to see them.
Together, these stories are a reminder that you don’t need a comedy club to get a good laugh, sometimes, all you need is to be standing in the right place when life decides to put on a show.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I was walking through my neighbourhood on a Sunday morning loudly singing, "Me say day, me say day O", and a Jamaican guy popped his head out of the trunk of a car and sang "Day light come and wan' go home." He had been packing the trunk or something and I couldn't see him, it was wonderful.
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#2
Some big 300+ pound dude was lambasting some girl for "being too skinny" and was saying "you look like you need a freakin donut you twig"
...a little 8 year old nearby said "you ate them all!!!"
It would have been kinda funny regardless, but the fact it was such a young kid made it hilarious.
Michael Largey 1 hour ago
Fat G.K. Chesterton and rail-thin G.B. Shaw. Chesterton: "You look like here's a famine in the country." Shaw: "And you look like you're the cause of it!"
#3
So I'm sitting outside of Boudin Sourdough Bakery in San Francisco near the fisherman's wharf, and see the guy come out with one of their bread bowls full of soup. Now if you've never been here let me tell you the seagulls are everywhere, and pretty aggressive about trying to get your food.
So the guy goes and sits down, and starts eating his clam chowder and the birds are everywhere, squawking like seagulls do, and you can see it's irritating this guy. So he makes the mistake of tearing off a piece of bread and throwing it to the gulls. He thought it was bad before, but once they knew they could get food out of him he was surrounded. So one of the seagulls lands near the guy, and is standing with it's back to him about 5 feet away. The guy get's up walks over and kicks this bird, as soon as he turns around he realizes this was a mistake, I would say there were 50 seagulls on this guys food. He then screams, "Oh I see how it is, you send your friend to distract me while you jerks enjoy my food." It was quite funny.
cecilia kilian 1 hour ago
A popular bar and grill with outside seating on the SF bay always has 2 servers deliver the food, one to set down the food, the other to waive the seagulls away. Those birds will even steal the foil-wrapped butter cubes.
There is a reason some of the funniest moments are the ones nobody saw coming. PsychoTricks explains that humor often begins when reality suddenly clashes with what the brain expected to happen. People constantly predict what comes next, so when an ordinary situation takes an unexpected turn, it creates a brief mental jolt as the brain tries to make sense of the mismatch.
A person slipping without getting hurt, a serious speech suddenly becoming absurd, or a child delivering an unexpectedly blunt comment can all produce this effect. When the brain realizes the surprising event is harmless, it can turn into amusement. This idea is reflected in both incongruity theory and benign violation theory, which help explain why an unexpected disruption can become funny rather than alarming.
#4
My sister and two cocker spaniels were out back. Sliding glass door closed, the two dogs decide to run at full sprint inside. 'BA-BAM' both dogs collide with the door. Then my unaware sister does the exact same thing. It all happened in about 6 seconds.
#5
I hope I can describe this to be as hilarious as it actually was.. After a night at the bars it was after two and I was waiting for my food order at jack in the box with all the other hungry inebriated people. A girl next to me obviously can't wait for her food so she takes out her iPhone, opens a packet of hot sauce, and squeezes it onto her iPhone like a plate and takes a huge lick. She had no idea what she was doing and one of her friends had to pull the iPhone out of her hand mid lick. I still laugh uncontrollably when I think of the visual.
#6
My elderly father. A portly and somewhat immobile gentleman, he is given to doing dad things: pulling his trousers up far past his waist with his shirt neatly tucked under his belt.
On his belt is clipped a 1990s Nokia phone in its original case and immaculately preserved. He is very proud of it.
Because of his protruding belly, when he sits he sometimes accidentally engages his phone, dialling a random number.
One day he sits down at home, the landline - house phone - starts to ring so he picks it up and demands to know who's there...no one answers.
He then proceeds to dial 1471 on the house phone to ring the caller back...as he is doing this his mobile(cellphone) on his waist starts to ring.
Somewhat in a panic -he hates to miss any calls- he fumbles around to answer his mobile while still holding the house phone receiver with his other hand, almost dropping both. He bellows 'hello?' into his mobile...no answer...he quickly puts the house phone to his other ear and realising it has been answered the other end, he shouts 'hold on, hold on one minute please..' switches to the other receiver shouting 'hello!? Hello!?' even louder...switches back and so on and so forth.
I'm sat opposite him, holding a sandwich in mid bite for the entire time, wondering if what I was witnessing was really happening.
tl;dr
My elderly dad unwittingly rang himself using two phones and proceeded to hold a conversation for about 2 minutes.
That shift from alarm to amusement is particularly important when an unexpected moment involves a minor mishap or an awkward social situation. Science Insights explains that people may initially react with concern when something appears dangerous, embarrassing, or out of place, but their emotional response can change once they realize everyone is safe and the situation is under control.
The sequence can move from expectation, to uncertainty, to reassurance, and finally to laughter. Psychological distance can make this effect even stronger especially after enough time has passed to soften the initial concern. This helps explain why a moment that causes a brief gasp can eventually become the kind of story people laugh about whenever it is brought up again.
#7
In highschool me and my mates were stood in a circle just talking, waiting for the teacher to turn up to let us inside. This was after dinner break (or lunch) and hundreds of seagulls flock to the playgrounds to scavange food. One of those seagulls s**t on my mates face, my mate being quite hard (read a bit of a jock for you merkins) shouted "All right who f*****g spat on me? you're f*****g d**d!" We were on the floor laughing and then the realisation on his face when he knew it wasn't spit and in fact, bird s**t. He actually said "it's not spit is it?" With a grin on his face. I still crack up now thinking about it.
Edit: I know what a 'merkin' is. We use it as a slang term round these parts. If I've found reddit and made an account it's pretty certain I know what a c**t toupée is. I subscribe to W*F and I'd wager there's a subreddit specifically for merkins.
#8
A few years ago I was playing Pictionary with my wife and her parents. When it was my turn I had to draw "the bearded lady." I'm terrible at drawing, so I came up with some stick figure with b***s and a beard with a large triangle behind it (it was supposed to be a circus tent.)
Everyone starts guessing, but no one is close. Suddenly, my father-in-law jumps up and shouts "V****a! Cl****is! CL****IS!!!!" He was so caught up in getting the right answer that he just kept shouting it.
At this point, we all lost it. I have never laughed so hard in my life. My mother-in-law still has the "bearded lady" posted on her fridge.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
OP got the image scanned. OP's father-in-law was right, it DOES look like it's trying to show a clítorís XD Pic in comment below.
#9
A very large woman at a Scrabble Tournament decided to "loosen up" before her first game. So as a hundred people listened to the rules of the tournament she got on the floor and started doing all kinds of stretching and aerobics. It wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't 350 pounds and wearing a summer dress.
How people witness these moments can also shape how funny they seem. NPR has highlighted how seeing an event unfold provides details that a simple retelling can easily lose, including precise timing, facial expressions, body language, awkward pauses, and the reactions of everyone nearby.
Hearing that someone stumbled during an important speech gives only the basics, whereas watching the person wobble, recover, pause, and desperately try to continue normally creates an entire comedic sequence. Physical movements and perfectly timed reactions are especially difficult to translate into a sentence because much of their humor comes from rhythm and visual contrast.
#10
My dad was at a stop light in downtown cleveland and some guy with sagging pants starts using the crosswalk. his pants were sagging so bad that halfway across the street they just fell off and he fell flat on his face.
Papa 1 hour ago
Back years ago when the sagging pants were really in style I was in the Wal-mart parking lot and there was a young man in front of me wearing his like that. As he was walking along his pants fell to the ground, so he stopped and picked them up, and kept walking, pushing his shopping cart with one hand and holding his pants up with the other one. I didn't laugh, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever seen.
#11
In High School Chemistry, we used to play "the plunger game" during homeroom where we'd toss a plunger in the air for various numbers of rotations and try to have it land stuck to the floor. One day as the tosses were getting a bit extreme in the high-ceilinged lab, one guy tossed it a bit too high and it landed on top of one of the light fixtures, which was amusing enough in itself.
Later in the class, we were back in the lab. The teacher was a bald, red-faced, heavily mustached man and was in the middle of explaining our experiment when the plunger teeters off of the light fixture and plants itself directly atop his head. The combination of the perfect 'SCHPLUNK' and the sight of him staring up at the lightning rod on top of his head in stunned silence was too much to handle.
#12
A few years ago at a family white elephant Chanukah party. In true white elephant fashion, we all brought random objects we found around the house. When it was my turn to open a gift, I picked a short squarish box and opened it to reveal the ugliest Christmas ...thing... I'd ever seen in my life. It looked like a decorative centerpiece from 40 years ago that was never meant to last beyond the evening, featuring dusty faux-plant material and a disfigured, creepy plastic angel.
It was from my dad's wife.
When my dad saw it emerge from the box, his face turned beet red and he laughed harder than I've ever seen him laugh. He was gasping for air and giggling loudly, trying in vain to stop while we all stared. I started having flashes of Batman 1989 and was getting worried—and then he finally calmed down enough to let us in on it. His wife had spent all afternoon—like four hours—*agonizing* over which item to bring for the white elephant, finally allowing herself to part with this... thing.
Of course, I kept it. If there's any interest, I'll update with a photo when I get home from work.
TL;DR - My dad laughed harder than ever before when he saw how hard it was for his wife to part with the most hideous, obviously disposable, item ever created.
Maya_D 1 hour ago (edited)
My BIL once gifted us the most hideous Christmas carousel thing - you plugged it in and it creaked around, played jingly music and lit up. It had all these badly made little figures on it and it was bright pink. It was so far from anything we would willingly have in our house that we were speechless. Sadly, it got broken when we moved to our new house. Which my husband somehow knew was going to happen two weeks in advance…
That vividness can also explain why an ordinary day can suddenly produce a story people remember for years. Life Vise notes that unusual events tend to stand out because they break the expectations associated with familiar places and situations. A workplace meeting, supermarket, graduation, or quiet library each comes with an unwritten script for what is normally supposed to happen.
When something completely out of place interrupts that routine, the contrast makes the experience stand out more. This connects to the "von Restorff effect", which describes how unusual information can stand out more strongly in memory than routine experiences. In other words, the moments that derail an otherwise ordinary day may be precisely the ones that stay with people long after everything else has been forgotten.
#13
I once saw some guy run a red light right in front of me and hit an Impala with 4 old ladies in it. It was just a clip, it sent them spinning around but everyone looked alright. The guy who ran the red light gets out of his car and starts approaching the Impala. He's got a white wife beater on and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, looks like a real winner. This guy has the nerve to act like the accident was caused by the old ladies. He gets to the window and one of the old ladies rolls it down. Then out of no where pow! She pepper sprays the dude. He's holding his face and his knees and she gets out and starts hitting him with an umbrella! By this point all 4 old ladies are out of the car and are all teeing off on this guy. One lady has a little black purse and she's tomahawking him like some sort of 20 horsepower jackhammer. Bam, bam, bam! Another lady is prodding him in the side with an umbrella. The last lady looks like Mother Goose and she's beating him with a big huge bag! She hit him over the head and all her stuff went flying out all over the place. Her bible fell onto the ground and she picked that up and whacked him over the head, with the bible! I didn't think he was getting up but when he finally did he ran to his car as fast as he could and drove off. The Mother Goose one even yelled at him while he drove away.
It was too good, wish you would've been there man.
#14
We had a Halloween party with a pinata. Because candy. Anyway, one guy was dressed as Lt. Dangle, and one guy was dressed as the Hamburglar. Somebody knocked the pinata off the rope, and without missing a beat the Hamburglar picked up the pinata and took off. Dangle drew his gun and immediately gave chase, yelling into his fake police radio all the way down the street.
#15
I was riding a bike with my friends and asked this old nice lady in an electric wheelchair if she would race me. She did.
**Edit:** My two wheeled transportation device was lawfully acquired by myself.
The funniest moments are often the ones nobody planned, and perhaps that is what makes these moments so enjoyable to remember. We may forget countless ordinary things that happen throughout the day, but a perfectly timed mishap, strange encounter, or unexpected reaction can stay with us for years.
Sometimes, you don't have to look for comedy at all, it simply happens right in front of you. What’s a random moment you witnessed years ago that still makes you laugh whenever you remember it? We would love to hear your stories!
#16
On a dry summer night a couple of years ago, a bunch of friends and I were drinking in a park. We were at the bottom of a hill with trees and were there for hours. Every time one of us went up the hill into the trees to pee, it made pee mud, so the next person to pee would pee a little higher up. We even had a roll of toilet paper on a branch. Well after a couple hours, one of my (girl) friends went up the hill to pee, and slipped in the pee mud. She's a longboarder so she has pretty good balance even when intoxicated, and we all hear "wha--whaa-whoooaaaah" and she comes majestically sliding down the hill out of the trees, in a half-squat with her pants around her knees, without falling. I was laughing so hard I was crying at that one, and I'll never forget it.
#17
My university choir went to Finland one year, which was an amazing experience. The day we arrived, my brain was a bit foggy from the jetlag, but I wanted to take advantage of being there so I went with my friends to explore Helsinki. I was walking down the street talking to one of my friends next to me when I walked straight into a pole. I wasn't hurt at all, just surprised, but as I collected myself I noticed that the only person who had noticed aside from my friend was this random Finnish dude on the other side of the street who was intensely cracking up from what he had seen. I think the sight of him laughing uproariously at my stupid moment is one of the funniest sights I've ever seen.
#18
I worked at Santa's Village, a downmarket amusement park, in the 80s. (See Adventureland for an EXACT replica of the scene.) Standing in my carnival game booth, I watched a kid stagger off the spinning teacup ride a good distance away, and then veer dizzily this way and that until he wound up directly in front of my booth, at the very center of my field of vision. He paused a second, puked up everything he ever ate in his entire life, and then staggered out of frame. It was like this perfectly choreographed little movie scene—I can still play in my head. Thank you 80s kid. You were, and still are, hilarious.
#19
My best friend and I are obsessed with ghost hunting, so we naturally went on the ghost tour that is offered in old town Albuquerque, nm. We were the only two locals, but there were about seven people from Canada. We get to this "haunted" window in a building that is now a restaurant, however, we failed to realize we were the only two people standing in front of the window only about a foot away. As we listen to this ghost story we were staring into this window, without realizing the restaurant was still open, and BAM a lady basically runs past the window. We were so scared we were screaming at the top of our lungs. I couldn't move and my best friend grabs me around the waist and tries to run off with me(I'm 5'9" and she's 5'2"). It isn't until we finally get ourselves together that we look up and realize we scared one of the Canadian guys so badly he had taken off running and was now a block and a half away. The three of us looked really stupid, but it's still one of my favorite memories.
#20
This guy at walmart was making fun of the people in front of him at the self check out because they set the machine to speak spanish. He got progressively meaner and more racist as he waited for them to finish checking out, and the other people in line were getting more and more uncomfortable and muttering about how unbelievably rude he was being. Then he couldn't figure out how to get the register to speak English and was getting really frustrated. I wasn't the only one laughing at him.
#21
Once at college there was an ice spot on the walkway outside our dorm, covered in a light dusting of snow. My friends and I all slipped on our way home. Later from our common room window we saw others falling. Within half an hour, eleven of us had gathered around the windows with tea and popcorn, watching every single person who walked down that path fall or flail crazily to keep from falling. One time a really tall guy wound up doing a chicken dance for about seven feet, but managed to stay upright. At the end there was vigorous applause -- but not from our room! We rushed outside, turned around, and saw that at least four other windows in our dorm had crowds gathered around them. We waved and eventually all gathered on the lawn for an impromptu "falling party.".
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
While funny, I'm now old enough to think to myself that it would have been a lot better if any one of those people watching and laughing either called the city or the college or maintenance to salt that spot (or do it themselves), or put up a sign or any other indication that there was an icy spot there. People falling and potentially getting hurt is only funny superficially. People could slip and hit their heads and they could absolutely díe.
#22
Was playing soccer. My buddy and his brother were on opposing team.
I was advancing towards their net and my buddy came at me from left, his brother on my right.
When they both got close to kick the ball away from me I stopped the ball. They both missed the ball and kicked each other in the shins, bodies collided, heads collided with a loud "thunk!".
The way it all synchronized was so funny I couldn't continue running and just rolled on the floor laughing.
I thought it was over but then they both got mad at each other and started fist fighting. I was laughing so hard watching it all unfold in front of me I though I'm going to pass out. One of the funniest memories I have.
#23
Me and my friends had a get together at a buddy's place. being a chef, my buddy made tons of good food so we piled it on our plates and started chowing down. after about 3 rounds, my 250+ lb friend stared at his food like he lost all hope and started saying "strugglin' strugglin' strugglin'" to the tune of rick ross's song "hustlin". we fell out of our chairs and one person ended up spitting his food out haha.
#24
I once witnessed a man drop a 500ml bottle of Coke from above waist height, only to have it bounce perfectly vertically back into his hand. The look on his face afterwards was of a man who had just seen the heart of the Universe, and it was glorious.
#25
A sorority girl was walking past me on campus, wearing some sorority shirt that said "Can You Walk the Walk?", and just as I finished reading it she tripped and fell. Answered her own question for me.
#26
We were at a friends cottage drinking one summer. It was getting late and one of our buddies had been drinking a bit too much and it was time to put him to bed. We were out back sitting around talking and my friend discussed this with our buddy and said, "we can do this the easy way, or the hard way." The drunken friends looks up at him and slurs "The harrrd way!" Proceeds to get up and run straight into the wall. Falls down, loses his pants and begins running again to the basement.
#27
A man in a tuxedo and a woman in a wedding dress were in line in front of me at the grocery store. They were purchasing only two items, tampons and co***ms.
#28
Years ago a half dozen of us went to the local bar for it's annual Halloween bash. It was the only small bar in a small town; hardly anyone dressed up. Paul (thinking we were all dressing up too) had torn white sheets into strips and wrapped himself (a little too) tightly head to toe. His face and hair were dyed red. Paul was in it to win it.
Getting him there was comical enough; it took 4 guys to lay him in the back of the pick up truck - 2 to prop him up and carry him by his elbows up the front steps of the bar (which he waddled into penguin-style).
With little competition, Paul won. The DJ was trying to yank his arm up in victory; First prize goes to the tampon!! We all nearly pissed ourselves as Paul frantically (unsuccessfully) tried raising his arm high enough to grab the mic; 'I'm a joint!! A joint!! Not a f-kn tampon!! Of course he toppled over; causing more hysterics. Flat on his back and kicking to unravel himself, Paul was still shouting, I'm a joint godd***it!!! The drunken crowd fist pumping as they chanted 'tam-pon! tam-pon!'
Paul sulked all the way home - and a decade (and many jokes) later he's still known by his nickname; Playtex.
#29
I was traveling through the south a few years ago and eating at a restaurant on the side of the highway in the afternoon. As I turned around from the counter to walk to a table a car came crashing through sitting area because it was rolling(flipping). It landed on its wheels and 2 grossly overweight African American women were sitting in the front seats. I stood there in shock, like everyone else for a few seconds. As everything got quiet you could hear the driver yell out " Oh hell no, I just got my hair did!" needless to say the two passengers were fine and no one got hurt in the restaurant, but I laughed for hours because the two ladies were all upset about their hair. Luckily the restaurant was mostly empty.
#30
I was sitting at some traffic lights a few weeks ago and a guy on a fancy racing bicycle rode up onto the traffic island to wait to cross. Except he forgot he was wearing those shoes which clip into the pedals. So he stopped, balanced for a second, and then just toppled over. At that moment the light changed to green so I had to drive off. On of the funniest things I ever saw.
#31
I was at a concert with a friend of mine and she had to go to the bathroom so I waited outside, now the bathroom in this place is located by an escalator I looked over to this obviously very drunk women p*****g underneath of the escalator, all I could think was "wow" but then as she proceeds to stand up she slips in her own p**s and lands flats on her face in the p**s, I lost it! Best concert ever!
#32
My brother was riding one of those pocket rocket things, and as he passed he gave me the finger, but then he rammed into a parked car, giving him a broken arm and the car a huge dent. By the way, the car was my parents car. Good times.
#33
Went sledding the other day, and some random dog took a major dump right at the bottom of the hill we were at. My friend screams up to warn everyone, then points it out to let everyone know. One kid comes zooming down the hill, realizes he's in the direct path of the s**t pile, tries to stop before he hits it, bails right on top of it, and the smears a little path of it as he's trying to stop tumbling. In a flash he grabbed his sled, then noped the f**k out. I didn't even see him leave. If he had just kept going he would've went right over it, and been totally fine.
I named him *Streaks*.
#34
I was driving in Buffalo, NY and it was a total whiteout. One thing they say is never to stop in a whiteout, because a tractor-trailer will just rear-end you to hell. So I found a car and started riding his a*s just because I could only see his brake lights when I was only inches from his bumper.
Then the brake lights started flickering like a strobe light, and the car came to a stop. I didn't know what to do, so I got out of the car. There was this huge black guy standing there, and he yelled, "Yo man, I can't see s**t!"
I laughed my a*s off, and took the lead for a while.
EDIT: Corrected spelling. Thanks auto-correct (sarcastic), and thanks Tarcanus (not).
cecilia kilian 33 minutes ago
Why do some posters feel the need to mention a person's ethnicity unless it is in a cultural/social context? A white mom influencer mommie making up a story about a Latino couple trying to steal her kids: Yes, we need those terms. In this post "a huge man" would have sufficed.
#35
I was at a go-go bar (exotic dancers on tables) with my friends. My friend was quite drunk and it was one of the rougher go-gos in Pattaya, so he put some money on the table and asked the dancer if he stick an ice cube up her a*s, then she can try to get it out.
Well it did come out, with some residual s**t sprinkled on our table. There was a strange session of laughter and near vomiting too, but I've rarely laughed so much.
X-Zone walking street, Pattaya if anyones interested in seeing some weird stuff.
#36
A girl peeing in the bushes ( big street with bushes in the middle). When she noticed there was a street on the other side and saw me, she stood up, excused herself but lost her balance. She tried to walk but with her pants around her ankles she stumbled for about 15 meters in slow motion only to end back in the bushes where she peed........
#37
Two things, both work related.
1) Our health and safety fella was demonstrating the correct was to bend to pick up boxes when his trousers ripped right down the back seam. Childish but funny!
2) Our radiation safety supervisor (translation: he is the man who shouts at us when we have had a spill) was helping out in my section and managed to drop a plate full of radiation on the floor. Cue geiger counters, acid/decon clean up and much hilarity.
#38
>My friend and his girlfriend recently got engaged. As an engagement gift a bunch of us got together to buy a portrait for them. We bought the portrait from a guy, named Pricasso, who is famous for drawing portraits with his d**k. The portrait even came with a video of him drawing it with his p***s. Neither one of them has ever seen this video.
>When we gave it to them, they were really excited, we told them that the paints had a taste to them, and that they should give it a lick, and smell it. They must have tried licking that stupid f*****g portrait for at least five minutes before giving up.
>They currently have their portrait hanging in their living room, above the fireplace.
>We do not plan to give them the DVD of him painting their faces with his w**g for at least a few years. So every time one of us comes over, we get a nice chuckle at the d**k painting they have so proudly hung on their wall.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
What kind of friends tell their buddy and his fiancée to lick a stranger's díckpaint? XD
#39
In middle school we had daily "warm up" assignments that we wrote on loose leaf paper and put in a folder that we had to turn in once a month. Well, one day in late October, kids were lining up to hand in their folders. Well one kid, Sam, who always drank water out of a 2 liter bottle seemed a little antsy to turn his folder in. Well by the time he was third in line he was really twisting and bouncing. Then a lightning bolt of urine shot down his leg and pooled around his feet. The only thing he said was "Oh dear" and ran out of the room. The teacher for some reason followed him out of the room. As funny as that was, Alan the kid standing behind him in line was so shocked and overcome with laughter that he dropped his folder in the puddle. Our teacher returned to the room to tell us to stop laughing and to continue to collect folders. Despite the fact that Alan had a legitimate excuse for not turning his in, he never got a new one. Every month after that when we had to turn our folders in, our teacher would always ask for Alan's folder, and every month he would remind us that it was covered in Sam's dried p**s.
#40
One time on a class trip to the Festival of Nations in St. Paul I saw a kid run and literally slip on a banana peel. It was everything I ever could have hoped for and more.
#41
Oh man...
I think I was a senior in highschool; I was at a mall with two of my friends. We had just seen a movie so we were leaving. As we're leaving they both decided they wanted to take some time to smoke a cigarette. So, there we were standing in the parking lot next to my buddy's car. We were sort of blocking the path between the cars as they smoked, but we were being harmless. People are walking by, no big deal; nothing is upsetting the balance of normalcy. However, as we are talking, there was this guy who is walking towards us. One of my friends was facing away from the guy and didn't know he was coming. Just as the guy is walking behind him, my friend stops the conversation we were having and says "listen". As he says this he bends over and lets this huge, f*****g fart rip right on this guy. At this point I couldn't help myself but fall over on the hood of the car next to me, f*****g laughing hysterically. It was fantastic. Sure, this guy getting farted on was funny enough, but what made it all the funnier was it was a complete accident. The guy was so embarrassed, he didn't say anything, walked to his car and drove away. We were, apparently, blocking his path to his car, so he was trying to walk around us awkwardly, and this chain of events got him farted on. At this point we all were rolling around on the ground in a mall parking lot laughing our asses off. We f*****g laughed for an hour about that.
edit:Li (禮 pinyin: Lĭ) is a classical Chinese word which finds its most extensive use in Confucian and post-Confucian Chinese philosophy.
#42
I was at Bonnaroo in '09 and going to see a 3 am show. Centeroo was PACKED! There was a great rain/tornado storm to kick off the weekend and by Saturday night everything was just a giant mud pit. We stood shoulder to shoulder, lining a muddy walkway to watch the show, when two people walking towards each other slipped and fell in the mud. When they got up I looked down and saw a fresh banana peel that one of them had apparently slipped on in the mud. They high fived and moved on. From there we proceeded to stand there and place bets on the next banana-mud pit victims. The best was watching people with a drink in each hand, sliding their feet front and back like a cartoon trying not to fall. The tripping dude in his boxers, going "OOOHHHHHH" every time someone fell was the icing on the cake!
#43
My ex-gf made a scene in a restaurant once when we were going out. She was crying and I going on even after I ordered us two chocolate milkshakes. Anyway, long story short - she leaned forward at some stage, sniffling and snorting, and the next thing I saw was a long, slimey silver thread running from her nose and plunging (it made that cartoonish 'gloomp' noise) into her milkshake. I'm a terrible person, but I couldn't contain my laughter.
#44
This sounds dumb and lame, but it was hilarious.
We were in Vegas walking the strip drunk, the usual when you visit there. Craziness as it was Halloween and it was more packed than usual. We saw all kinds of crazy drunken acts, etc, but the best was this guy who ran up to this big black guy that he did not know. The skinny guy that ran up to him had clearly just got a huge tattoo on his bicep as it was red and had the A&D ointment on it still and was shiny. He screams "SLAP MY F*****G TATTOO! SLAPPP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!" and WITHOUT HESITATION or even questioning why he asked him to do this that bigass guy just f*****g slaps his new tattoo as hard as he f*****g could.
The skinny tattoo guy jut lets out this MANLY scream like from a movie or something. A deep voiced "AHHHHHHHH." The slap made a classic slap sound too. Everything was almost too perfect to have been spontaneous.
When I reread it, it doesn't sound as funny or crazy as it is if you were there, and I've seen some crazy life altering s**t- just the weirdness and spontaneity of this made it awesome.
#45
I was sitting in the pub(the trafalgar in greenwich) with a group of friends. We had turned up mid-afternoon and the place was quite busy so ended up with a table in the middle of the pub right next a staircase that lead up to a function room.
For some reason ther staircase was surrounded by a see-through plexiglass screen and door, which extended beyond the staircase a bit. So i'm on pint number 3 and i see this really hot women walking across the pub. She's clearly trying to do the 'i'm s**y and i know it walk' and not making eye contact with any of the five or six blokes looking at her. She gets about half way and somehow has not noticed the screen and walks full pelt into it and lands on her a**e. Most of the pub bursts into laughter and she trys her best to pretend like nothing happened and walk off.
tldr plexiglass, the instant de-s**ifier.
#46
I was in switzerland, and this large woman was screaming at her (also large) six year old daughter, "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY CANDY UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR DOUGHNUT!".
#47
I sometimes feel like an a*s for laughing at this, but a girl I dated who learned sign language (she was not deaf) once took me to a party where many of the people present were hearing impaired in some fashion. It was a fun party, lots of nice people. I had conversations with a few people while my date translated.
Then the funniest man at the party entered. And he was deaf.
Clearly I could not understand any of what this guy was signing, but the way people shifted toward him and the way faces lifted when he started signing I could tell he was the highlight of previous parties. He had people rolling, holding their sides, nearly crying from his antics.
Clearly I couldn't understand what was being said; but the combination of listening to people who couldn't hear themselves laugh, and watching them being entertained made me lose it. One of the best parties I have ever been to.
**TL;DR** The funniest thing I have ever witnessed was a room full of deaf people laughing hysterically at jokes.
#48
In 8th grade I had a friend named Roland who was about 4' tall and another friend named Carl who was about 200lbs and about 5'7". During lunch, in the cafeteria, Carl was getting his food and Roland noticed his sweat pants sitting on the bench. Roland put on Carl's sweat pants, over his own clothes, and proceed to walk around with them pulled up over his head. Carl saw it and ran to catch Roland. We had tears in our eyes from laughing as Carl chased his own sweat pants around the cafeteria.
#49
Single mom at the beach with her I would estimate three year old son. The kid is having a VERY good day playing in the sand. All of sudden she gets a phone call and starts yelling at who I presume is the father, has a fit, and grabs the kid and starts telling him it is time to leave. She is pulling him along by the arm and he getting dragged and she is yelling on the phone. Finally the kid lets go and he turns around to yell at him it is time to leave and to hurry up. The kid standing there in his water wings, sun hat, and holding his yellow sand bucket yells at his mom: "I am a kid! My legs aren't long enough, I can't move that fast, what do you expect!". Everyone around just started cracking up.
#50
A man walking down a street in NYC with only purple briefs on an a three foot long braid wrapped around his neck. Oh yeah, he had a sachel.
#51
I was at camp as a kid one summer, and a tedious counselor was telling a story. Everyone thought he was boring, but for once, he had our attention. We stood in a circle in some woods, watching as his tale-telling became more animated due to our attention. At a climactic moment of his story, he pointed skyward and inclined his head, saying, "And I *looked up*..."
At that moment, a bird flew over and s**t on his forehead. I thought I would stop breathing from laughing so hard.
#52
In high school, our tennis team was on a long bus ride to a match. One random moment we were all looking out the window into the window of the car next to us. It had a young boy in the passenger seat and and elderly woman, probably grandma, driving. The young boy went to turn the radio channel or something, and the woman came forth like a trained criminal and smacked his hand down HARD, not even taking her eyes off the road. We all laughed so hard.
#53
While on a motorcycle trip across half the country my father and I witnessed the tail end of a possible road rage incident. We were riding up the highway when one car passed a pickup and didn't think much of it... about 5 minutes later we round a bend and there are both cars parked on the shoulder, drivers in mid fisticuffs. As we passed I looked over and the fighters were so involved in their battle they forgot to take the terrain into account, fell and rolled down a slightly steep hill together.
It wasn't until we stopped for a break about an hour later that my dad laughs and says "Oh and what the f**k was that fight about anyway?" I had forgotten about it until then and all I saw in my mind was those two bozos tumbling down a hillside and kicking up a dust cloud.
F*****g New Mexico...
#54
Back in high school, we were all traipsing across the grounds to the exit gate at 3:30. Someone had forgotten to collect all of the balls from P.E and they were just lying around on the path. One girl was too busy talking to her friend and didn't realise they were on the path, she stood on one and did that typical 'dancing on a ball' thing like a show dog or a slapstick clown. That was hilarious on it's own, but then when she had managed to extricate herself from the ball, she stood on another one right infront of her. I thought that s**t only happened in the Marx Brothers, it was a glorious day.
#55
I was walking through the mall and there was this very small Asian girl coming from the other direction, she is wearing a jean skirt and cowboy boots that were either too big or just too baggy because she is so small... either way about 15 feet infront of me she just falls. A*s over tea kettle. It is a mess of limbs and boots. She gets up pretty quickly and scurries off. I keep walking, keep a straight face until I pass her and then lose it, when I look up the random guy behind her who had been trying not to laugh looses his s**t because he sees me laughing so hard. I just said I am a bad human, I know and kept going wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes.
#56
This one time when I was a freshman in high school a teacher had me and two other kids take some boxes to another teachers classroom. As we're walking over to the teachers room a kid with Down syndrome comes up to my friend and takes the boxes throws them over his head and walks off. I was on the ground laughing so d**n hard.
#57
Dogs usually don't make a noise when they fart, but when mine got up from the kitchen floor she must have really pushed because she blasted a loud one. Since she had never heard a noise come out of her a*s she freaked out and sprinted down the hallway, paused, and pinned her ears back looking around to see if anything was chasing her. That was nearly 8 years ago and I still haven't seen anything funnier than that.
#58
I once saw a man fall down an escalator that was moving up in Las Vegas. It takes a moment to picture this, but it was hilarious.
The man was clearly drunk out of his mind and just started rolling down the stairs, very slowly. It was so slow, in fact, that the escalator was keeping up with him. So he was basically just tumbling in place.
He got up a good bit of momentum and reached the bottom, at which point the escalator took him back to the top, and the whole process started over again.
Two girls ran up to help him. They were not dressed to save a person. They realized this was a 250-270 ball of humanity, and decided to run away. Down the uphill escalator. It was like watching Indiana Jones.
After about 90 seconds, he came to and got up, looking around like he hadn't fallen down an escalator. Then his buddies came walking back and asking where the hell he was. They had missed the most monumental moment of this guy's life. But I hadn't.
**TL;DR: Man rolls down an uphill escalator, becomes Indiana Jones boulder.**.
#59
Last Halloween, my girlfriend and I were getting some late night Del Taco. As we get our food and pull through the drive thru I see a car parking on the street in front. The car is decked out in green bay packer gear, GBWISCO license plate, with an Aaron Rodgers sticker on the hood. So naturally as I pulled out into the street I yelled "Go Bears!". The guy stood up out of his car with a ref jersey and high heels on and yelled in the most fabulous gay voice, "I'm a replacement ref!"
We laughed so hard as I sped away.
#60
Probably the funniest guy I know is really good friends with an Egyptian immigrant, and his parents called him one time when we were in a restaurant because they didn't know where they son was. My friend answered and after a second said, "Sure, I'll call him and tell him to lick his wiener. Nah, I don't think he likes big t*****s either." I was younger at the time obviously, but to this day I still haven't laughed harder than that. Sure, he was taking advantage of the language barrier but jesus christ, my ribs still hurt.
#61
I was at this graduation party and this kid who recently moved to America was there. He had a strong Brazilian accent and basically everyone liked it because he was a goofy kid. He was talking to this girl about her boyfriend, and the girl said that she and the boyfriend had done everything except s*x (I don't know how the conversation got there). So he says "You are willing to have, but s*x?" referring to the fact that they did not do it. But the way he said it kind of made it sound like "you are willing to have b**t s*x?"
Overhearing this, I say "VERY NICE!" like in Borat. Everybody around was laughing for a solid 5 minutes, most of it was his strange accent and his overall manner.
#62
In college I had this dopey friend who didn't quite get the subtext of anything, probably because he was from Pakistan. He was grabbing something out of his apartment, so we parked in a deck under his building. We told him that he MUST hurry and be back in 3 mins, even though we had like half an hour.
So he takes two steps outside the car, slips on some black ice, and slams his face against the car hood. He pops back up, and runs to his apartment. When he returned, he slipped on the exact same patch of black ice, slammed his face on the same part of the hood, popped back up and hopped in the car like nothing happened, letting us know that he had made it in 3 minutes. He refused to acknowledge that we had just seen him totally eat it twice in the same way.
It took 5 minutes for my other friend to start the car because we couldn't stop laughing.
#63
A friend and I are trick or treating in probably seventh grade. We're walking towards a house and notice a kid in a scream costume sitting behind a bush, obviously preparing to scare us. I yell at him, "You know, we can see you."
As we walk up to the house, despite the warning, he still runs out to try and scare us. We were watching him the entire time walking up, so we're able to clearly see him trip over his own long costume and fall on his face.
#64
We used to try to emulate wrestling in a friends kitchen years ago. Earlier in the night I had run and jumped on the back of the largest one of our group. He grabbed me and threw me to the ground and the brawl continued. Later the smallest of our band of misfits decided to try the same thing. Only the target was farther back and when scrawny runs and jumps he hits his head on a beam running across the ceiling and lands flat on his back never having hit hit target.
We laughed once we knew he wasn't d**d.
#65
This'll be buried, but it's the best place to share this story. I'm a freshman in college, and one of the classes I have to take is theatre appreciation. Theatre appreciation is in our art and music building at the college I go to, which is a decent walk away from the rest of my classes. While on my way to my theatre class, a few band kids are with me. All of a sudden, I hear "Oh no... here he goes again." and "Dude, look! Shhh...Jerry's about to do it again!". Then a few feet in front of me, this nerdy kid with blonde hair pulls out a saxophone, and starts sneaking behind a large guy, while playing the Pink Panther theme song. It was all I could do to keep from laughing. Then after about 30 seconds he pauses, gives someone his saxophone, reaches in his backpack, pulls out a wig, puts it on, takes back the sax, and starts following the guy again, this time playing Careless Whisper by George Michaels. (
#66
As a lifeguard working at a massive public pool, I have a lot of these moments.
Sometimes during the summer, we have the Austin school for the Blind come visit us at the pool. We usually don't have to worry too much about them, they come with their own lifeguard and each child has their own individual helper that guides them around the pool area.
On this particular day, I was on my break in the guardroom right next to the concession stand. A young child from the school (probably about 5 or 6 years old) was walking up the stairs to the concession stand by himself. His helper was walking alongside him, but was texting on his phone and not paying any attention to the child.
Just as I was about to say something, the child slips and falls on a stair that was spaced differently than the others. I ran over to see if he was okay, and to chastise his helper, but before I could say anything, the kid turns to his helper and yells, "Dude! Why didn't you tell me there was a freakin' step there!"
The helper, obviously caught with his pants down, stammers "Uh I was busy um I--"
The kid smacks the guy with his cane and yells "You were BUSY?! C'mon! This is your freakin' job you moron!"
TL;DR--Blind kid falls because his counselor wasn't paying any attention to him, kid b*****s him out.
#67
I was in traffic on the freeway going no more than 10mph (16kph for you non-americans). There was some dude riding a sport bike at my 2 o'clock who must have been bored because he was weaving in his lane side to side like a snake. After watching him for like 5 minutes doing this, he fell off his bike. Dude got up and looked around to see if anyone saw him and got back on his bike with his head hung low and proceeded to just sit there on his bike in shame until traffic moved another 10 feet.
Guy wasn't hurt but it was hilarious to see life nip him in the sack for riding like a d****e.
#68
Every year a local bank holds what they call "Corporate Olympics." Businesses from the area get a team together of 4 guys and 4 girls. Each year is a different theme. A couple years ago it was "Minute to Win It." One of the challenges was to make as many free throws as you could in a minute. So we are all going, making fun of each other for our lack of basketball skills and then the last guy goes... it was like he'd never shot a basketball before (which I know he has, we've played in a charity game earlier that year and it wasn't THAT bad). But anyways... Not once... Not twice... but three times he shoots over the basketball hoop. But wait! There's more. The first time flys completely over the backboard hitting a poor lady right in the face knocking her sunglasses off. Man did it hit her hard. Couldn't help but chuckle, ask if she's okay and then move on. We stupidly give him the ball back and the exact same thing happens, hitting the same lady! At this point everyone standing in the area moves 20 feet away as we give him the ball back. And... yes he does it one more time, of course without hitting anyone because no one was standing there anymore. I've never laughed so hard or seen someone so embarrassed before in my life. He is one of my best friends and Reddits daily... God I hope he sees this...
#69
What immediately comes to mind happened just before Christmas. I was in the kitchen and my mom came in from shoveling snow. She said "Look at my shoes!" then stomped a couple times. At this exact second my brother's cell on a nearby table gets a message and he had the alert set to a bicycle horn sound. It sounded like my mom had clown shoes. I laughed so hard my chest hurt.
#70
My mom and I were standing waiting at a light to cross, and an old man drove by with a donut stuck to his windshield.
We both kind of just looked at each other and she asked "Was that a donut?" And I nodded my head. To this day, I still can't figure out how he didn't notice that donut stuck to his windshield...
RIP Mom. Happy Birthday.
#71
I worked at a winery and the tasting room for it is only one door away from where our fermenters are. Anyways, I'm working on this rasberry port that we were trying out and the seal to the lid of the fermenter burst open, covering me in yeast and unfinished port. I had a white shirt on and tan shorts because it was summer time. The woman working the tasting room busts open the door to see if I was alright and see me sitting on the floor , entirely purple. She had the weirdest look on her face ( a mix between 'w*f' and awe) and then I notice that there was a large crowd of people who were tasting wine and they all suddenly went silent when they saw me through the doorway. For some reason I had the ridiculous idea to simply stay seated in a puddle of port and ask them "so, how's the wine?" they all started to laugh and I felt a little bit better( still lost quite a bit of port).
Tl;dr work at winery. Fermenters vacuum sealed top ruptured. Covered with purple port from head to toe.large crowd of wine tasters sees me and I manage to crack a joke.
#72
About 1AM summer night at the beach. Girl and I are drinking wine sitting on the wall between the parking lot and the sand, just hanging. Guy gets in his low sports car. Revs the engine squeals out of the spot, does some "cool" turns, and turn to leave. And goes right into the gate arm. Which perfectly catches his hood which bends in two and smashes into his windshield. Poetic justice I guess.
#73
Last year, at a sleepaway camp based out of a college, we were all in the commons area, except for two people. One was in his room, and the other was in the bathroom (second person is female). We heard someone yell "SWEET JESUS!" from the dorm room, so we sent someone to investigate. The guy in his room had been j****ng off, and yelled SWEET JESUS while doing so. He had nothing to cleanup with except a half eaten bag of skittles. The nearest trash can was in the next building over, so clearly he couldn't just walk over holding a skittles bag full of something besides skittles. So, for some reason, he brought the bag of skittles back to the commons area and put it on the table, which was hilarious, but not the best part. The girl in the bathroom came back to the commons area. She noticed the skittles, and thought it was a snack, so she reached in, took one out, ate it, then asked us why it had a "sour liquid" on it. We burst out laughing, and then someone shouted, "SWEET JESUS, TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!"
To this day, it was the funniest thing I have ever been a part of.
#74
I went into a mirror maze in the Mall of America right behind a family and their little boy. I make it part way through when all of a sudden I hear the little boy go "Mommy Daddy I found the way out!!" and proceeded to sprint full speed into a mirror and face plant so hard he did a backwards somersault. I tried to cover my face from laughing and escape while the parents consoled the poor kid.
#75
When I was 16 I was at this beach bbq with my family and about 5 others. Well most of the parents were drunk and this one guy takes his wife and picks her up and runs into the lake and she's screaming but not really mad since she's still dressed and is about to be soaked.
Well now a drunk neighbor guy who everyone likes decides to do this also. Well what no one knew and I found out from my drunken dad that this guys hot for this woman who is not his wife "who is also there" and she's got big b***s and I guess he kept getting peeks at her. So he grabs her and runs into the lake and he is drunk as hell. He gets to about his waste level and trips. Both him and the girl with the big b***s fall into the water. She instantly pops up and I am so glad I was there since I got an eyeful since she was wearing a tubetop and it fell down to her waste and she didn't even notice. The drunken guy that fell was floundering for almost 10 seconds before he could get his head above the water. So basically the guy that wanted to see her b***s so badly was the only one that never saw them.
#76
I was at a local pizzeria. There was, sitting at a table, a little girl, her mother, and her grandmother. The little girl was apparently learning "Mommy and Daddy have real names too." So grandmother asks the girl "What does Mommy call Daddy?" The girl didn't understand the question. Then grandmother asks the girl "What does Daddy call Mommy?" And her little face just lit up like a light bulb. She knew what Daddy calls Mommy, and in a nice clear voice, told us all that Daddy calls Mommy "A*****e.".
#77
Was at a rock climbing gym with my friends and the mats were really soft so we decided to do front flips with 2 people forming a bar with their hands. Friend A didnt know how to do it so Friends B C and I demonstrate it for him. Afterwards Friend A felt he was ready. He adjusted his belt and ran towards the bar and for some reason, jumps into it and ends up landing on his head.
#78
Happened across a hotdog stand set up for some charity thing, my buddy and I get a hotdog because they were only a dollar. he says "what's this for?" she says, "schizophrenia awareness" he says, "well, better give me two then" he only said it because he wanted to help out but she had a look on her face like you wouldn't believe.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
It's not really funny to mock mental illness, and aside from that, schizophrenia isn't the same thing as multiple personality disorder.
#79
One time, I was stuck in traffic with my parents so I decided I'd make small talk by saying "you know, they say that white cars are most likely to be involved in a car accident than any other color car?" Right as I said that, 3 white cars got into an accident in the lane next to ours.
Note: It wasn't a serious accident. The last car bumped the car in front which bumped the car in front of that.
#80
An ex-girlfriend and I were play fighting using our words (calling each other names and whatnot but none of it serious). She had said something along the lines of calling me stupid or idiotic then turned around and walked right into the door frame. Literally fell to the ground laughing and cracking up.
#81
A few years back I was working as a seasonal employee at a Target store. I was in the toy department one day and witnessed a young blonde girl, (couldn't have been any older than 3) start to make beeping noises as an incredibly obese woman in front of her started to back up. It was everything I had to keep from busting up laughing.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
That's sad. A child that young had to have observed her parents/family members mocking obese people, because we aren't born being ássholes.
#82
In India, grown a*s men walk holding pinkies..And I'm not talking about the gay ones .I have seen it. Funniest S**t ever !
#83
I was at a restaurant that had two steps up from the lobby into the main dining area. This kid was waiting in the lobby and playing around. He pulled both of his arms inside his shirt, I guess to pretend he didn't have any arms? I don't know. Well, his groups table was ready. As he's following the hostess up the two steps he trips. You can see his arms flailing inside his shirt, but he can't get them out to brace his fall. The look of pure terror on his face as he crashed like a tree in the forrest- priceless!
#84
The funniest thing I have ever seen happened one fine night during college. Some friends of mine and I were out a bar drinking far too much. After a couple hours we started playing pool. I have a friend we shall call Jim who is normally horrible at pool but as he drinks he becomes a master. I mean he runs tables for as long as he wants to play, but he has to be completely wrecked. He has just won his 8th or 9th game in a row when a new challenger appears. The challenger happened to be a little-person. He brought his own cue stick and a step stool which he only needed if the shot was pretty far away from the edge. He could make most normal shots without it. This guy was a pretty good player and at this point it was towards 2 in the morning and there wasn't really anyone left who wanted to play. These two played game after game. All the while Jim is making short jokes. The dude was getting pretty annoyed but as Jim was obviously hammered he was letting it slide.
Part way through their last game the vertically impaired fella was walking around the table trying to find a shot. He finally found one he liked but after lining it up he decided he needed his stool. Jim walks up behind him and says verbatim "Let me give you a hand little guy" and proceeds to pick the man up. Cool as a cucumber the guy makes his shot. Jim is absolutely laughing hysterically at this point and sets him down. The guy then puts his cue stick down. Turns around and punches Jim square in the nuts. Jim goes to his knees. The guy says "I'm not so little now am I" and then proceeds to beat the holy hell out of Jim.
My friends and I started laughing pretty much immediately. After a little bit we all pulled the guy off Jim, apologized and bought the guy a beer with Jim's money. We then took Jim home.
#85
A group of adults with downs was at the Allan Gardens Conservatory in Toronto, and while in the cactus area one man had said 'oh my god' about a plant- just totally in innocent awe of the thing. One of the aides said "How about you say 'oh that's nice' instead?" and he muttered over to me, "How about you let me live my life, b***h?"
It was the best. Such an astute reaction. It forever bettered the way I perceive mentally handicapped people.
#86
There's been a lot of things. One time I was at the mall with my friend, and he had a bottle of water that he was carrying around. We're walking and he stumbles and drops the water, and it made the most comical noise pouring out that I couldn't stop laughing. As terrible as it was, he quickly picked up the bottle and kept walking pretending nothing had happened, despite my pants getting pretty soaked. So we go around the mall for about a 30 minutes or so and as we pass by the same section as he spilt the water, a little girl falls in the puddle, about 5 feet in front of us. It was like something out of a sitcom, and we couldn't stop laughing, despite feeling a little bad.
#87
There are often scientific conferences and whatnot at my university, and the people attending will eat lunch at the cafeteria, and one day I was waiting in line behind a large black man, and he saw that there was fried chicken, and he yells to another back man, "OH S**T! Williams, dey got chicken! Dey got FRIIEED CHICKEN!!" I turned around and started walking away really fast because I didn't want him to see me cracking up.
#88
Stuff that happened at old jobs always stands out for me.
1. A coworker, who was obviously bored, was screwing around with some rope at lunch and managed to lasso another coworker's pizza right out of their hand just as they were taking a bite. The startled look on the victim's face was priceless.
2. During downtime while working in a factory, a few coworkers were throwing paper airplanes down an aisle. One of the planes flew into a lineside fan and showered a nearby operator with confetti. After that people were purposely trying to throw them into the fan, though none shredded like the first one.
3. Another time in the factory, coworkers were scaring an older woman with a makeshift mouse on a string. Time and time again one would point and yell "a mouse!" and the other would pull the string to make it scurry away just as she shrieked and looked down. After getting her several times, I decided to try a similar game with a baby carrot from my lunch. She still shrieked when we yelled "baby carrot" and looked down to see a small orange vegetable scurrying across the floor.
#89
I was on the subway and a man was giving some girl a hard time about her time with getting a date. As people walked by he comedically kept exclaiming "C'mon get his number! Or this guy get this guy's number!"
Right then a scrawny teenager walked past and at the perfect time the man saw him and yelled out. "C'mon get this kid's IP address"
The whole train car erupted in laughter.
#90
The other night, my boyfriend and I were bored and s****d so we decided to wreak some havoc. My friend had bought me a laser pointer for Christmas so I could play with my cat with it and instead, we decided to point it at people outside our apartment complex. Just so you know, we live in Atlanta, right next door to a liquor store and in a pretty shady part of town. My boyfriend decides to point it at this guy who was clearly cracked out. This man starts FREAKING out. He just stops in his tracks and holds his hands up in the air and screams, " PUT THE LASERS ON ME! C'MON WHITE DEVILS, PUT THE LASERS ON ME!" Now, we are about 5 stories up so he couldn't see us, but he just goes on this rant for about 10 minutes screaming about lasers and to "bring it". I know it's pretty awful to mess with someone like that, but at the time I could not control myself from laughing hysterically. Only after the laughter subsided did we realize he was probably terrified and thought he was about to get sniped or something. Oops.
#91
I was with my extended family at an local amusement park when I was 10. My uncle and I went on a boat ride where you drive the boat around a small track. You could drive the boat freely but it had no throttle control. It's a pretty boring ride unless you have someone like my uncle to ride with. Half way through the ride he suddenly turned the boat completely sideways and blocked the track. Since the boats had no throttle control everyone bumped into us and got stuck as well. With a boat pile-up holding up the ride the attendants came to help my uncle, who started acting like he had special needs and couldn't understand what they were telling him to do. Every time they got him going straight again he would keep turning until it got stuck again. The attendants tried to get me to tell him what to do, and I did but my uncle would just do the opposite and kept turning sideways. Eventually the attendant jumped on the boat and steered it the rest of the way while my uncle just smiled at him. Right after we got out of the boat my uncle stopped the act and just said to the attendants "thanks for the ride."
The combination of seeing my uncle act this way, the frustration of the ride attendants and the embarrassment of my mom and aunt made it one of the best days I ever had at that place.
#92
I was working at a lake marina during college, tending the gas dock. A boat full of tipsy young muscle heads, plus one older lady made up of sorts of plastic bits ("her skin was stretched so tight every time she smiled, her arms came up"). One of the guys is at the front of them boat, and I go to hand him a rope to tie off with. He drops the rope in the water. I go to pick it up, but, for some reason, he lies down and tries to reach it from the water. He slips out of the boat, catching his board shorts on one of the cleats on the boat. His head is in the water, he's inverted, to far from the dock to grab on, and to far from the boat to pull up. The thrashing that happened in the ensuing 15 seconds made me laugh so hard I threw up.
#93
I worked with a really over weight guy who was always huffing on an asthma inhaler. We hired a new guy and his first day on the job he sees the fat guy hitting his inhaler and says "Whatcha got in there? Donuts?".
What do you think ?
Герберт Майн 1 hour ago
"Oh, I saw someone fall and probably hurt themselves, it was SO FUNNY!". What's wrong with some people?..
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
It was admittedly funny when I was 12 years old, because I didn't know any better, and everything slapsticky/people getting hurt is funny to a 12-year-old. What is especially disturbing to me is that, even if some of these are old stories that people first saw when they WERE 12 and thought it was hilarious then, they're still retelling the story as adults as "the funniest thing they ever witnessed." Did I think someone slipping and falling was hilarious when I was 12? Yes. Would I tell the story of witnessing someone slipping and falling now and say it was the funniest thing I ever saw? No XD
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Герберт Майн 1 hour ago
"Oh, I saw someone fall and probably hurt themselves, it was SO FUNNY!". What's wrong with some people?..
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 hour ago
It was admittedly funny when I was 12 years old, because I didn't know any better, and everything slapsticky/people getting hurt is funny to a 12-year-old. What is especially disturbing to me is that, even if some of these are old stories that people first saw when they WERE 12 and thought it was hilarious then, they're still retelling the story as adults as "the funniest thing they ever witnessed." Did I think someone slipping and falling was hilarious when I was 12? Yes. Would I tell the story of witnessing someone slipping and falling now and say it was the funniest thing I ever saw? No XD
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