I want to hear your stories.
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"I DONT HAVE TIME TO BE DEPRESSED TODAY EMILY"
"Oh no, that part of me isn't tickly anymore"
HE WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF NOBODY WAS THERE
"He has a gun, but that's easy to dodge, it's the cards I'm scared of."
"How are you dying to cards?"
"They're hard to dodge?"
"AND A GUN ISN'T?!"
“The masculine urge to rub my d*ck with sandpaper.”
Like wtf was the conversation about??? 💀
"GRAPEFRUIT!"
-wise words of Some Kid in the Emergency Room
Later, I learned from a friend about a trick he learned as a kid: When you're about to sneeze, put your finger under your nose and say grapefruit...
"I WILL PUT A SCALP/ITALIAN JAPANESE MAFIA BOSS WHO PUT ONIONS IN PASTA EATING FOREST LIZARD IN YOUR BED IF YOU DON'T FREAKING SHUT YOUR FACE HOLE!"
Not me but a friend overheard someone say:
“I wanna have sex with that pickup truck”
“Nobody cares about your knowledge”- wise words by my wise teacher during a conversation with some classmate
Oof. I would egalitarian with that teacher. It could go 3 ways. Either the teacher snaps at you, tells you what happened, or tells you politely that it was a private matter. If the first one happens, tell another adult at the school that you trust. For the others, just continue on with ur day.
I have many sayings that are funny without context as well with context.
"You did grow boyfriends in your bathtub once."
"1977: when dinosaurs went extinct."
"Waves not serial killers."
"Y'all aren't seals nor birds."
"I'm a f*****g emo Irishman, leave me alone"
"I feel like a king and a peasant at the same time."
Me and my bsf have an entire list lol. Here’s some
Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to run you over
Do you mind if I murder someone next to you?
Ohh so that’s why you were dead
Nice I wouldn’t mind throwing a baby or two
Don’t eat macaroni and cheese off my toes
The people at my school are very strange.
"Is sawdust magnetic?"
"I PROMISE everyone had their clothes on. I promise."
Anything can be taken out of context, if you try hard enough.
I was doing an online study course and someone unmuted on a zoom call and asked if anyone had ever licked a public toilet
