Share away.

#1

I'm in therapy and really struggling with an existential crisis. My therapist tells me that only I can change my outlook on life and I guess he is right. The problem is that as much as I try, I can't shake off the feelings of futility and pointlessness of it all. All my previous coping mechanisms are failing and I don't know how I can climb out of the abyss. I have no dreams or ambitions and I am simply just existing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated please pandas.

Report

Birgit M
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I‘ve also been in therapy for years, so I could tell you about the psychological techniques I was taught, but I am sure you know them all, too, and I know that they don‘t always work and that it‘s all a constant struggle. A few weeks ago you shared with us what it was like for you in a psychiatric hospital and while reading your story I thought what a talented writer you are. (Not even for the first time, your post about microwaving your dinner was hilarious!) Have you ever thought about writing a book (or maybe starting a blog) about your experiences? I don‘t know you, so it could be a bad idea because maybe you don‘t want to relive everything you went through by writing it down, but I‘ve always found that putting feelings down in words can be very cleansing. (A former colleague of mine wrote a book about his social anxiety and it has helped him and surely other people too.)

Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank-you for reading my article, and your compliments on my writing ability. I have considered writing a book (they say that everyone has at least one book in them, don't they?) and maybe that's something I could look at when I'm more motivated. Maybe if I start writing I'll get motivated and it will drive itself. Thanks again, best wishes.

Load More Replies...
Steve Barnett
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi Scagsy. 'I try to do it but my thoughts are racing and don't slow down however much I try to focus'. With you totally on this Scagsy, I've a head that doesn’t shut the f uck up. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone with this. Yours s.

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank Steve. That's good to hear. I hope you get some respite. Best wishes

Load More Replies...
Concept-Peter Roosdorp
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here. It's gotten to a point where I have just accepted life as it is and am waiting for my time to pass. One day at a time. It sounds like it sucks, but it is a lot better than it used to be.

Marette
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, you just put into words what I am feeling right now 😕

Load More Replies...
Caro Caro
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately I can't give you any advice. I will say this though: the way you put words onto paper is very talented and I love reading your posts. Take up writing and I'll read it, promise. You have a great sense of humour and a way with words so please... write it down. I think you are a brave and lovely human being. Hug.

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you Caro Caro. Even though you didn't provide any advice you lifted my spirits which is just as much appreciated. I am glad you enjoy my posts, they give me something to focus on and get the old grey matter working on something productive and it's lovely to be appreciated. Also, I love hugs - even virtual hugs so thanks for that. Please take this *hug* in return.

Load More Replies...
White Paper Tsuru
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me to get out of this state it took multiple different trials of antidepressants/antipsychotics as well as counselling once per week. I was on Longterm disability for a year l, suicidal, and in the midst of covid isolation. It was about 6 months before I felt like it was possible to maybe find a purpose in life (I'm still looking). Also helped to know that I was not, by any stretch of the imagination, alone in this feeling of being lost. I ended up settling with finding experiences of micro joy. Stupid little things that make my mouth quirk up for a moment, noticing that I smiled, and then moving on. Lucky to have family and friends to share this micro joy with and be part of their brief moment of amusement too. Best of luck, fellow panda. It's possible for things to get better, even if right now it feels hopeless.

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank-you for your words of encouragement. I am most grateful. I'm gonna try the micro joy thing as it is completely new to me. Hopefully it will have the required effect and things will look better. Thanks again panda.

Load More Replies...
Darquestar1
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ambition and Goals do not need to be big. Take pride you are existing. Try to do one more thing like walk outside to the corner. That is it. Then you might start seeing you can take one more step. Watch a bird fly. Stop to hear it sing. Take a step back and see the world again as a child who had no goals but to exist. You can grow again. And if you need someone to talk to? I'm here as a friend.

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would so love to see things as a child again. I joke that if I could, I would perform a factory reset on myself and start over. I know that isn't possible but perhaps I could try to start noticing things again. Thank-you for your thoughtful words.

Load More Replies...
albernistuff 4sale
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a recommendation, but just for consideration; psylisibin micro-dosing - it helps a friend of mine. Others have looked into therapy combined stronger doses; a guided trip at it were. We need to get over the fundamentalist BS fear of anything that they don't use. Its the MOST harmful crap that is legal - alcohol, tobacco, fast food...

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is that a derivative of magic mushrooms? Would I be able to obtain it legally in the UK? I'm curious because I have never tried it and at this point if somebody told me to stand on my head, balancing a turtle on each foot while singing 'Why Does It Always Rain On Me' I would do it if it would help. I do smoke (cigarettes) but that's my only vice. I don't drink or gamble or do drugs so I allow myself that little pleasure 10 times a day. Thanks for your suggestions I will look into that.

Load More Replies...
Rachknits
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds as though you are struggling to 'rewire' your brain. When we think about things or ourselves our brain creates neurological networks for these thoughts , beliefs and feelings. When we try to change this it feels like it's 'wrong' and our brain screams at us that the chane we're trying to make is rubbish. However if you continue to stick with the change (like telling yourself you are worthy of love) you will start to form new neural networks and your new thought will become more and more natural to think. Hope this helps, hang on in there and don't give up before the good stuff starts working

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank-you for your suggestion. I will certainly give it a try.

Load More Replies...
Sue Bradley
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi, you may have tried this, but if not I highly recommend it. EMDR, it actually changes the neural pathways in your brain, and diverts harmful and distressing thoughts to a safer place in your memory, so they are easier to deal with. It is brilliant for virtually all sorts of depression, traumas. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Sending big hugs too Xxx

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for your excellent suggestion. As luck would have it my Psychologist and I have just embarked on EMDR and the results are quite staggering. I will be seeing him again on Friday.

Load More Replies...
ispeak catanese
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh Scagsy, your comments are always so much fun, it breaks my heart to know how difficult things are for you. I struggle with futility and feel the same. Something that has worked for me is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, specifically noticing rumination and stopping it with grounding exercises in this instance. There are many other tips within those two modalities that would help.

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank-you for your kind words. I've tried CBT and it didn't work out for me. I haven't tried DBT though so that may be an option worth considering. Thanks and best wishes.

Load More Replies...
View more comments
RELATED:
    #2

    QUEERPHOBIA Yeah it’s 2021 so it shouldn’t be here.

    Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah Happi, it shouldn't but it is. I can't help you but say that most of us (people) are not queerphobics. Bless you darling.

    Dave van Es
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate the term phobia in this context. They're not scared, they're assholes. But I do agree it shouldn't be here

    404 Panda Not Found
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No matter how much information you give an antivaxer, queerphobe, or antimasker, they will never learn.

    #3

    Ban lobbying everywhere.

    Report

    Concept-Peter Roosdorp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only country I know of that does this is USA. In my country, ironically we have very weak corruption laws, and still think that lobbying is legalized bribery

    Bob Stuart
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Money flows through any available crack. We need 24-7 surveillance of the rich.

    #4

    End all animal abuse. So much animal abuse in the world. ☹️

    Report

    Sue Bradley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agree with the above - I'm vegan and wouldn't do this. To end all animal abuse, only way to do this is to include every animal that is used to make food, this includes milk and eggs - the abuse is shocking. X

    daniel280456
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Including abuse from vegans who try to turn their dogs into herbivores.

    #5

    Is there similar platform to boredpanda where I can go if I am "up-to-date" here?

    Report

    Scarlett O'Hara's Ghost
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reddit. That's where bored panda gets most of it's stuff

    Dee on bikes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't do the app here, but finding out the main feed was <10% of the total content on the various boards was a game changer.

    Dee on bikes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cracked is fun, I love the realistic commercials, but they aren't the same after the shakeup a few years ago.

    Load More Replies...
    thatmagicgaychick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not really the same, but if you enjoy boredpanda stuff you might like notalwaysright.

    Yula Lopez
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Buzzfeed? Sometimes they do similar content on the "best of the internet" section

    #6

    Empathy. Try to see things from other peoples' point of views.

    Report

    #7

    Ok, so I'm sick with some cold and I feel brain fog. Does anybody know what could help remedy this? And no, it's not corona, I've tested myself twice.

    Report

    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry your sick. Get a bowl of hot water with a few drops of Vicks vaporub or eucalyptus oil added. Lean your face over it with a towel over your head to create like a head sauna. The steam and the eucalyptus helps with decongestion. Tea with honey and lemon, hot shower (again, steam). Vicks under the nose and on the chest. Chicken soup, vitamin C and if needed pain relief. Hope you get well soon.

    KimB
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Zinc...studies prove it can shorten the duration of the common cold virus

    Linny H
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But take with food or it can make you nauseated

    Load More Replies...
    KatFinZim
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get brain fog due to chronic illness. I take krill oil capsules every day and it makes a huge difference! Add DHA to your diet.

    Rens
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have Fibromyalgia and CFS/ME and brain fog can be very bad. I never thought about krill oil capsules, I will give them a try. Thank you 💜🦋💜

    Load More Replies...
    Tami
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nyquil and sleeeeeep. Neti pot to wash some of the gunk out.

    Martin Kaine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All of the above food/drink remedies. Plus take off school/work. Watch a favorite childhood movie. Maybe the nostalgia will make you feel better, if briefly.

    Eucritta
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's worked for me is hot ginger-lemon-honey tea, especially if made with chopped fresh ginger root & slices of lemon, & steeped until it's strong.

    anarkzie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your body will probably fight it off, go watch Netflix.

    View more comments
    #8

    Everyone always thinks I'm dating someone, at school and at home, when really I'm not. I don't know how to get them to stop but I really want to seeing how annoying it's getting now that my crush is involved in the assumptions.

    Report

    Jayne Kyra
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your crush is willing to believe rumours, maybe reconsider, but if they don´t, just roll your eyes and say how bored everyone must be to create stories about others.. Justifying yourself to others may make you seem as deflective or defensive, so "what´s it to you/why do you care?" could actually be useful responses.

    Darquestar1
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask your crush why they think you are dating someone. Tell them they are wrong because you really have a crush on someone. When they are excited to know the gossip of WHO.. tell them it is them. Then maybe you WILL be dating someone.

    albernistuff 4sale
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is your crush single? Perhaps its time to open a dialogue.

    Joanna Werman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Walk right up to the crush and say "there have been rumors that I am in a relationship. I am not. Would you like to go out?"

    #9

    Make your fonts bigger!

    Report

    #10

    How can we restore faith in tolerant liberal democracy and free markets? A.k.a. how to prevent totalitarianism and mob rule in the name of equality or conservatism?

    Report

    albernistuff 4sale
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Assuming OP in USA. Such sea-change only takes place when a culture suffers a terrible shock that makes people believe that ANYTHING is better than what they had. IE Germany or Japan at end of WWII

    daniel280456
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teach people to stop being so entitled.

    Concept-Peter Roosdorp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps the drawbacks of those things are catching up? Democracy means that idiots also have a say, and capitalism needs never ending expansion to work. However, I have no better solutions.

    Hank Woods
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All we can do is hope they to reset the Matrix !

    #11

    Pollution, poverty, racism

    Report

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #12

    help me collect sticks , sharpen them and stab T.R.A.S.H. and then roast them an a fire

    Report

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BTW T.R.A.S.H. stands for transphobic . Racist. Abelist/agist . Sexist and homophobic

    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for that, I was like huh? Is this code for marshmallows cuz I can get down with some smores right now. But this works too....but can we still have smore's?

    Load More Replies...
    daniel280456
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everybody is some kind of phobic to idiots like you.

    Concept-Peter Roosdorp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So because they are intolerant... You want them dead? And don't see the irony in that?

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mhm bc I will tolerate people being racist blatant to my face and be assaulted in public and online for not being cis het I receive hate daily and have to deal with total bullshit for what that is a lot of emotional baggage for a minor to have people in class say I'm disgusting for being LGBT and that I'm not nonbinary and not valid and I get misgendered every single f*****g day so you can't tell me that i can't make a joke to cope

    Load More Replies...
    Tami
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Wow, sounds like something God does to sinners.

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow sounds like I want to go to hell maybe I will meet lil Nas x

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #13

    Ok so my best crud and me ( I will call her violet ) where in Art where I was showing my work to the teacher when I come back she has drawn a heart on my chrome book in pencil and when violet tried to erase it it wouldn’t come off so I huffed put my chrome book away and ignored her later and later that day she blows up on me for ignoring her for such a silly thing. Should I apologize?

    Report

    Jayne Kyra
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are better and less destructive ways to show affection (if that was her intent), or play a prank. Vandalism is not one of them. What may be a silly thing to her does not mean others consider it as harmless. Try to speak to her calmly, and if she is still blowing up, ask her to fix the chromebook without causing further damage (acetone can strip off paint, but may be effective on a q-tip.)

    Titas Burinskas
    BoredPanda Staff
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try to apologize where you feel you might've done something wrong. I'm sure your friend will appreciate that. She needs to apologize too, of course.

    Cookie Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that you should apologize, but explain to her why she shouldn’t have done that. It’s not her property!

    Xottel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apologise that you didn't open up to her. Apologise for ignoring her. But do not apologise for feeling bad about your damaged property. Tell her you didn't know how to handle those feelings. Forgive her but don't expect her to be sorry.