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So just tell me the troubles of your life and other things!
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#1
I don't know how to deal with the constant feeling of being an outsider. Others seem to find their place in the community, in meetings or random encounters. I'm the one who gets stared at for a long time if I open my mouth and say something. Maybe because I'm quiet, but usually because I say accurate observations about things, phenomena or popular culture. I would somehow like to belong, to be part of the community. Physically, I have already done my part by volunteering at several events. Am I trying too hard to be accepted as a whole? Why do I crave it so much.
Final score:
5points
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago
Idk how old you are, but it’s a normal thing for teens and young adults to want to be accepted by their peers, it kind of fades as you grow. I just want you to remember this: Nobody knows what they’re doing. Everybody’s just making it up as they go along. The people who act like they have it together just have a lot of confidence, or they’re really good at pretending they are.
RELATED:
#2
I've been a "therapist to most of my friends. I'm sorta popular at school but I rather keep to myself then joining all the popular people. So around 2½ years ago I sorta made a friend group with all the "leftover" people to give them a place to go. One was s*icidal and told me all his problems. He's not anymore but I was the only person he talked to so I knew a lot of the problems he was having. One of them pretend for over a year he was s*icidal and basically used me to get attention. (Also doing this by weaponizing his mothers death. Obviously we were all sad about it but it's disrespectful for even your own son to weaponize your death). The last one was someone who joked about being racist and sexiest and homophobic and everything else. He made inappropriate jokes about everything most of them were of s*xual assault. So from the beginning of the group to the end, I have tried to be nice and I get everything thrown at me and I'm expected to deal with it. Even when The one who pretend to want to k*ll himself messaged me privately and said it's my fault if he does. I was distraught and I was expected to cope. So yeah, other to han that I'm fine. :)
Final score:
1point
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago
As a former therapist friend, I feel this. You just have to remember that it’s not your responsibility. Sure, you can help people through problems, but you shouldn’t be expected to solve them for people. And setting boundaries can be hard, but it gets easier as you go. It can be as simple as “Not right now, I’m busy.” As for that guys who said sexist and homophobic things, if you just say “what did you say? I didn’t hear” enough times, they start to lose confidence as they repeat what they said and nobody’s laughing. Kinda kills their mood. Or just saying “that’s sexist” or “that’s homophobic” and not laughing along. They’ll learn pretty quickly that they can’t get away with those jokes, at least around you.
Rhodri Terrell (Submission author) 1 year ago
No no no, guys. It's ok. I'm fine now, I mean it still slightly affects me, but I'm fine. I've got a fabulous girlfriend and a brilliant friend group now and I'm happier than ever. Thank you all though
Tamra 1 year ago
Hey Rhodri, I am definitely not a therapist, but it sounds like this is a lot of stuff for you to be taking on. It's kind to befriend people who may seem lonely, but it is NOT your responsibility to let them trauma dump on you. That's not your job, not your responsibility. Growing up can be hard enough when dealing with your own stuff, but it can be impossible and even dangerous when trying to deal with everyone else's stuff. You are not responsible for another person's actions, and I'm speaking specifically here about the suicidal boy who told you it would be your fault if he did it. This is something you need to tell an adult or a school counselor and let them deal with it. What he is doing is emotional manipulation, and it's wrong. Your most important job right now is to take care of YOU, and get through school.
Tamra 1 year ago
I don't think it's a great idea to open a post by suggesting that you're a "great therapist" when you are no such thing. Perhaps you meant it as a joke, but as you can see, some people will probably post some pretty heavy stuff with maybe the expectation that you really are a therapist, and will get a response like "wow okay...". Not helpful.
Load More Replies... #3
Is it weird that I think blood is tasty? I mean, I don't cut myself or anything, but I usually nurse wounds by sucking on the blood. Is that weird?
Final score:
1point
LillieMean 1 year ago
It is a normal instinctive action. You can taste that there are no foreign objects in the wound or the beginning of inflammation. Your own saliva also helps the wound to heal with its bacterial strain. Usually, not always. Some people say that it could be untreated anemia if your own blood tastes a little too good, so I would check it out if it worries you.
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 1 year ago
naw its the same for me. my doctor says that its called pica
#4
I’m scared for high school, I always want to sleep even though I’m not always that tired, I need to study but my mind wanders too much, I might be bi or pan but I don’t have the means or the courage to find out, my skin is terrible, I have to think of college and what my opportunities are even though I haven’t even started HS, and I might have anxiety. and this is my second week into writer’s block, which I think what I have to say in writing is worthless anyway, because I might end up homeless unless I can find something else im good at for a potential job.
Final score:
1point
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago
Get evaluated for ADHD, please. I have ADHD and the not being able to study thing really resonates. What ADHD basically does is it doesn’t get enough dopamine into your brain (reward chemical, makes you feel good after you complete a task), which makes it REALLY hard to complete chores and tasks that seem boring to you. Looking up studying tips for ADHD can be helpful. Like just saying to yourself, “I’m just gonna study for 5 minutes and then I can take a break if I still don’t feel like studying.” can help a lot. Coffee also helps, just make sure to take small sips, not big gulps. Or anything with caffeine, really. Caffeine is in the same d**g group as Adderall. I think you definitely have anxiety. I struggle with that as well. Splashing cold water on your face for panic attacks can be really helpful (your body has a reflex to slow heart rate when your face is splashed with cold water). Talking to someone about your anxieties can also really help.
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago
As for bi/pan thing, don’t worry about it. You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to, no need to put a label on it if you’re not sure. Just keep an eye on who you have crushes on. And you can always try out and change labels if they don’t fit. Sexualities have been proven to change throughout lifetimes, so it’s perfectly fine to change them. And high school can be scary at first, but you get used to it. My advice would be to join clubs to make friends that share your interests (theater kids are pretty chill a lot of the time, and it’s a great confidence builder), and don’t worry too much about popularity. Just stay quiet and don’t get involved with drama and people shouldn’t mess with you.
Load More Replies...
Yesn't (they/them) ️ 1 year ago
I would recommend taking to a licensed professional about the taking anxiety, and also a possible presence of ADHD/ADD. When you get into that constant stage of anxiety, I would see a therapist or get help to see what solutions you could find
me myself and i (she/her) (Submission author) 1 year ago
And I’m kinda guilty because I have a roof over my head and my family isn’t struggling financially—my parents are quite supportive for Asian parents, although my grandparents are not. I could have it so much worse.
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)
Don’t downplay your anxieties. I think your worries are perfectly reasonable (as someone who has anxiety). And the guilt about not being able to do tasks that should be easy also makes me suspicious about you possibly having ADHD. Look up ADHD paralysis and see if that resonates with you.
Load More Replies... #5
I'm just really lonely. None of my friends have similar interests to me, and if I try to tell them anything they just look disgusted. Even if they asked about it :(
Final score:
1point
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)
What are your interests? I’d be happy to nerd out about any we have in common. I’m not a therian, but I’m a furry, and have no problems with the therian community. I’ve actually tried out quadrobics a few times; I thought it was actually pretty fun :)
Tamra 1 year ago
It seems like you might be young, so I would say that, right now, your world is somewhat small. As you get older and get out into the world more, you'll have a better chance of finding your tribe, finding people you share interests with. In the meantime, hang on to the parts of yourself that make you happy and unique. Someday those will be the things that people really love about you.
#6
I got outed to my (VERY unsupportive) parents as aroace yesterday- a groupchat I was in got leaked, and in one of the screenshots I mentioned to someone that I was aroace- well, you can guess how that went haha
Final score:
0points
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago
Omg that sounds terrible! I don’t get why people have problems with aroace people >:( Like what’s wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship? Getting outed to people can really suck, especially if those people don’t accept you :(
lex (they/them) (Submission author) 1 year ago
yeah 😭 I talked stuff over with my mother, she's still angry but at least we agreed not to talk about it again-?
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