Hey Pandas, Do You Have Any Questions About Queerness? (Closed)

In honor of pride month, ask me (and the other queers here) any questions you may have! Whether you're cishet and confused about something, or questioning and want advice, I'll try to help. Don't be an asshole, don't be queerphobic. Happy pride!

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Question for the trans pandas- how should I refer to a trans person if I'm referring to a time before they transitioned? I have a friend who I haven't seen irl since before they came out as trans, so when I'm telling someone else a story involving that friend, I don't know if it's better to use their current name and pronouns or the name an pronouns they used during the time I'm referring to.

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6points

A Wild Bean (they/them/any)

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Pride Bean️‍ 1 year ago

I think it might be best to use their current names and pronouns because many trans people aren't comfortable when being reminded of their dead

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Is it okay to identify as non-binary until I've figured out my gender identity?

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5points

Flame

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Yep! I used they/them primarily for nearly a year before I fully transitioned, just do whatever you're comfortable with

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Hey queer pandas!
My question is: when or how did you know you were queer? I’m trying to figure myself out, so any advice will help, thanks!

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By Deleted User

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

I figured out I was queer when I was 12, but it took me until early this school year (I'm 14) to realize my actual identity. It's a hell of a journey, I only figured it out when I stopped denying that I'm trans, then I realized I'm gay as f**k a few weeks later. It did take me multiple years to accept that I use he/they tho

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How do you define queerness?

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4points

Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Anything that the general public sees as 'other' in terms of sexuality and gender. Once complete acceptance happens, queerness won't exist cause hetero and cisnormativity won't exist

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I'm a 50 yo man (cisthet, the whole pack) and many things in Queerness are complex for me. My only direct personal experiences have been with lesbians, gays and bisexuals (fellows, clasmates, co-workers). And it's quite easy: he has a boyfriend/husband, she has a girlfriend/wife. But, since I teach in a university master, in the last years, this universe has been changed. Transexuality is more and more a reality... but it's also quite easy, and, since my university allow students to be in student lists with the name of their choice, it's also quite easy. Maybe he was once a she, but it's incidental/trivial for my work and my relation with my students. In my first class, I usually offer comprehension to everyone in the classroom, and a safe space, and I ask for comprehension to me. I will keep learning and learning... And I know I won't understand everything I hear or read, since feelings can't be always easily exported. So, I have no questions, just live your live as you want it to be. Surround yourself with the best people that you find in your life and be loyal to them. Fight for them and cry for them. Be strong. I have no questions. Only the infinite happiness knowing that you and so many others (and a very little myself) are building a better world for ourselves and for our children. Happy pride!

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Marcos Valencia

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fair_weather_rose (she/they) 1 year ago

Thank you, it really means a lot that you wrote this, and that you can so easily adapt to and accept changes as they happen in the world

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Can someone explain the point of “neopronouns” crowspectre your a professional, could you help?

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Blue_Mouse (is gone!)

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

If someone isn't comfortable with he, they, she or it, and they feel like an established neopronoun (or a new one, but that's rarer) fits better, they often use it. Most people using neopronouns also use another 'regular' pronoun in addition. When I was still pretransition and denying that I'm a guy, I used xe/xym for a little while. It really didn't fit me but there are some people who feel right with them, even though they can be confusing sometimes.

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Is it a requirement, er, necessary, to choose a label? I got confused not long ago. If I were to try and fit myself into all of this, I’d be a she/they or just a they/them. But I have no idea how that’s determined, what things should be taken into consideration to figure it out, or if I’m trying to hard to be included. Also, what would it be called if… you have a sexual attraction to one gender, but only a romantic attraction to the other?

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P.C.

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Pride Bean️‍ 1 year ago

It's totally not necessary to have a label. You can just be you!

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I think I am pansexual, but I can't be 100% sure. Any tips on figuring out my identity?

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could've just left me alone

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Labels are just the words you feel comfortable with, you don't have to matche everything perfectly. Pansexual is defined as attraction to any person without gender being associated with attraction at all, whereas bisexual, polysexual and omnisexual can all mean attraction to all genders with varying or different types of attraction to each gender. Good luck figuring out ur identity!

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Please don't downvote me, sorry if this question seems offensive: So my friend was born as a female but changed his gender to a male. Since he is too young to do surgery to change gender, but still, he says he is a boy. Some rude people say he is still a girl, they are technically correct, (only scientifically). But I call my friend he/him because he wants to be called that and I think it is rude to call him she/her when he wants to be called he/him. So are the people who called him she/her technically honest? What do you guys think?

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Bye! Pancake_Pansexual_Panda_

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1D Addict (They/them) 1 year ago

Even if he hasn't had "the surgery" he still identifies as male and the people that call him otherwise are incorrect. Gender is a construct all that matters is how he chooses to identify :) how he presents. Its who he is.

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What do you think ?

GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

Guys is anyone having a problem where they can’t edit their profile at all like I tried to change my bio and where it should say save changes it just says no changes

A Wild Bean (they/them/any) 1 year ago

I think I get that sometimes, just try pressing "no changes" and see if it saves your updates?

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LonelyWriter 1 year ago

Hi Crow... Uh, you probably don't know me but I'm asking some questions here... Anyone else if you know the answer feel free to help I guess. What do I define as if I'm cis, straight, she/her, but would be open to try (probably?) a relationship with bi or other people? Recently my good friend told me she's bi (she has my support), I asked her, out of genuine curiosity, how she knows she's bi, as I know she also has a crush on a boy in our class. She says that she sees girls as attractive. My question is... wdym by "attractive"? Like that you notice their physical/personality as appealing, or you just notice it? Or is it actively having a crush on them??? I'm so confused.

𝗍іrᥱძ⍴ᥲᥒძᥲ (ᥲᥒᥡ ⍴r᥆ᥒ᥆ᥙᥒs) 1 year ago

Ok so by that she probably means she feels attraction to girls as well as guys. Seeing someone as attractive is different than feeling attraction towards them. For example, I find some guys attractive, in the sense that they look nice and their body looks good, but I feel attraction mostly toward girls or transfem people, in the sense that I would go on a date with them.

Hey Pandas, Do You Have Any Questions About Queerness? (Closed)

Games

crowspectre (he/they)

crowspectre (he/they)

Diana Lopetaitė

Diana Lopetaitė