‘He Thought I Was Joking’: Guy Makes A Nasty Comment To Passing Girls, Driver Makes Him Walk Home
85% percent of women in the US experience street harassment before the age of 17, according to this research from a non-profit organization. The shocking numbers reveal that the harassment on streets is profound and yet, it’s still commonly normalized in our society.
Many offenders see ‘catcalling,’ a most widespread form of street harassment, as a joke or a compliment but in reality, the damage girls and women experience last for years, and even a lifetime.
So this story posted on r/AITA sheds a light on staying reactive and assertive when witnessing someone harassed on the streets. The incident happened when an author was driving his group of friends home after a workout. As the group passed the girls walking, “one of my friends rolls down his window” and drops a nasty comment to the girls like it was no big deal.
The author immediately got angry and kicked the dude out of his car. But the remaining friends in the car were not so supportive of such a decision.
Guy asks if he was wrong to kick his friend out of the car for harassing girls out on the street with nasty comments
Image credits: Throwaway727v
And this is what people had to comment
THANK YOU. This is what an ally looks like. I lived in DC for a while and the cat calling was so bad that I would sometimes walk around blocks to avoid areas where I knew certain guys hung out. Walking to work was stressful and some of the comments the men made would actively terrify me. For example, two guys thought it'd be funny to say: "I'll take the brunette, you take the blonde" when a friend and I were walking past. They had a good laugh at it; I was afraid they'd physically harm us. It's never a compliment. It doesn't make us feel good. It scares us and infringes upon our world. If every man kept his friends accountable in this way, our world would be a better place for women.
Good on you! Early on in our relationship my boyfriend (now husband) and I had an argument in which I got angry at him for tolerating sexist behaviour from one of his mates. My husband's argument was that although he found the behaviour unacceptable, it wasnt his responsibility to police the actions of his mates. To a certain extent he is right, but my argument is that by saying nothing he condoned the actions of his mate, and if he was willing to condone that behaviour then he wasnt the man I thought he was. We had a huge conversation which was a major eye opener for him relation to how women are perceived and treated and what his role in that was. Depsite it being a confronting issue for him he started paying attention and speaking up.
Not to mention making it clear to him that it is his responsibility because when men are all right talking to women that way, those women include his wife (and his mother and his sister and his daughter and his aunt . . . ).
Load More Replies...Straight men, never say anything to a woman that you wouldn't want to hear from Big Mick in the prison showers, OK? It's not amusing, it's not cute, it's not sexy, it's not a compliment, its creepy af.
Very good example of how to make them understand the effect!
Load More Replies...NTA, good move on the driver's part. However, i can't help but wonder what the poor girls were thinking, when they saw the car turn the corner and the guy get out. I'd bet they were worried the guy was going to go after them or something. An apology to the ladies right then would have been in order too.
Hopefully the corner was far enough away and out of sight.
Load More Replies...As a female wheelchair user I now get the sexist remarks and also wheelchair remarks like "you're too sexy to be in a wheelchair" and "that chair leaves you at just the right height to (nasty way of saying pleasure me)" and it's disgusting. I've never seen anyone with these men stand up to them and I hope men reading this either stand up if their friends do it or if it's them doing it, stop it. It's 2021 for gods sake! Grow up!!
You should respond with- "I'm also at the perfect height to d*ck punch you, you piece of sh*t."
Load More Replies...Absolutely pisses me off and I dont tolerate it. I have had employees do this as we are driving to job sites or stopping at the store in the morning. Literally breaking their neck as we drive by some girl, rolling the window down to stick their head out and stare. You get one warning then your fired.
if they literally break their neck, no need to fire them.
Load More Replies...We need to teach at a young age behaviour like that is predatory and assaulting!!!
They KNOW. That's why they do it. What we need to do is stop treating grown-ass men as if the excuses they make for predatory behavior----"How was I supposed to know? One woman one time said she liked it, so that means it's okay!"------are worth even LISTENING to.
Load More Replies...It's important that men (and everyone) call out their friends for saying stuff like this. It's time for the normalising of this type of harassment to end. Whilst most in a group of friends would understand it's just "joking", by making this acceptable, they're also indicating that other harassment is also acceptable, and some people might then act on it. The other thing is that he's doing someone a favour by giving them a lift, they have the right to change their mind about that at any point, and don't need to feel bad about it. They're not a taxi.
If you make a sexist remark to your friends it can be considered a joke. If you say it towards someone of the other sex its harassment.
Load More Replies...Men holding other men accountable for their actions is how we make this s**t stop. Thank you sir.
Now this is a man to be proud of. More people need to be calling out friends and family when their behavior is disgusting.
I'm surprised he didn't kick all of them out. Being mad at him makes them just as guilty as the guy who was an ass.
I love this guy! Can I buy him dinner?! I can take a joke as well as anyone can and I live every day of my life trying to make people laugh but this is unacceptable in every way. First off we never know what someone else has gone through. The ladies he yelled at could have dealt with sexual abuse or a plethora of other things. A simple “joke” could potentially frighten someone. Also grown men or women should not behave this way. I can see joking with your buddies or even a guy joking with a female friend (I’m a lesbian with all heterosexual male friends who do this regularly with me and it’s cool because they’re my buddies and know I’m okay with it) but to do this to a total stranger is tacky, childish, and creepy on so many levels. For real if anyone knows the guy who put him out let me know and I’ll gladly buy him dinner.
NTA, but I'd have NOT dropped him off within a mile of those girls. Just in case.
Nope x1,000. Definitely NTA! Catcalling and making crude and inappropriate "jokes" like that should not be tolerated whatsoever. I seriously hope he learned his lesson and will think twice before trying to do that to a woman ever again.
So NTA. A genuinely decent human being. My daughter had moved to a new state to go to college. She put on a new dress for the first day of school. High neck, long sleeves, about knee length (although it wouldn't have mattered if it was a low cut short dress.) She was walking to school and was cat called. She never wore that dress again.
That's a shame. I bet she felt so pretty in that dress too. Sadly, this is the "norm" for us. We stop wearing certain clothes, change our makeup, hair, etc., and will often have to change up our whole routine just to avoid/stop the cat-calling and harassment.
Load More Replies...Trust me, the guys who need to read this will probably never see it. For that matter, you could probably get a billboard and they'd never believe you are talking about them.
Should have done it where the girl he yelled at could see, so she knew that when guys do that around other guys, they don't always laugh and think it's funny
That would put the woman in potential danger. I hope he was dropped off far away from the woman
Load More Replies...The first time this happened to me I was 12. I was walking down the street to a store in a great neighborhood with my 8 year old cousin. I thought the guy pulled up to ask for directions. He asked me to suck his c**k. I definitely looked like a child at the time. These guys are sick.
It's the angry reactions on the FB screenshots that get me. I really hope whoever used them was mad about the catcalling and not the comments but I have a sinking feeling they were mad at people saying NTA. The driver was 100% NTA. Catcaller made those women feel unsafe. That BS should not be tolerated by anyone.
NTA. So NTA that he even called the guy to make sure he got home safe. I hope that the guy that walked home actually learned his lesson and changed his behavior instead of just not saying anything like that when he's around the NTA guy. Women are SO over having to deal with this sh*t.
Definitely NTA. I flip off guys in cars who do that to me. IK it's a dangerous movw, but f**k that s**t. I've been dealing with that crap since elementary school. Not even joking.
he is definitely NTA! his friend did something that disrespects women and he was defending them by kicking his friend out. his friend is lucky to have him considering he was kind enough to check he got home ok. man deserves a medal. wenever im walking alone i always have "im married f*** off" on my left hand and give the guy the finger. if they get out of the car or try something i press the emergency call button on my phone so they can hear wats going on and i use simple sayings my cop friend taught me so i can make the 911 call without them knowing. i do that or mess with their heads leaving them speechless and thinking im a b**** that would cause too much trouble for them. the 2nd thing is usually the safer route lol. but seriously i wish there was a guy like this in every car that has a disgusting guy in it. he taught his friend a lesson lets hope it got thru to him and he doesnt pull the s*** again
Normal people wouldn't hurt other people without any reason. People need to understand that catcalling makes the other side feels uncomfortable, hurt even. If you know that and still do it, I guess you're just a shitty person.
Women have been saying this for ages, but men don't listen to women, only other men.
Thank you for being an example of how men should behave. I wish there was more of you guys — well done!
Your Mother raised a true gentleman. NEVER change who you you are and never apologise for it. Thank you for being so awesome. Any woman who shares her life with you is very lucky.
This. This is how to be a decent man. Imagine that was your daughter, your mother, your aunt.
This was a great move on his part. A better move would have been to kick them all out to the curb and make them walk. The best move he could make? Find new friends.
NTA - more like a hero. The only way to stop things like that, is by other men reacting.
I don't know these particular girls, but I know if a friend and I were walking together, and a car full of 4 men catcalled us, I'd be worried that they'd stop and harass us physically or maybe even further. Those guys would have laughed it off and not thought any more about it. Those girls would be worried about their safety every time they went out together. Most men who do this have no idea how much it effects a woman's psyche. They never give any thought to how much rape and assault figure in every woman's day to day life.
easier not to talk to women at all, to be honest. outside of ones i already know, i cant be asked. being accused of sexual harrassment for asking what time it is and then having them screech "current year current year!" isnt worth my f*****g time
NTA. and anyone backing him? Please feel free to walk as well. Kudos for still checking up on him getting home safe.
NTA, in fact - YAAH! (You Are A Hero!) Thank you for standing up against this appalling behaviour. And for doing it immediately and forcefully. BTW - you need better friends.
You took a stand, went against your peers and brought a few young stragglers into the 21st century. Women all over the world felt a warm hug at the moment you did that! I couldn't be more proud if you were my *own* son!!
Yes it was wrong, but now it's about how you kicked him out of the car. These are opportunities to change someone's perspective, but when we shut someone out, they get angry and may learn nothing.
What he learned is that his behavior won’t be tolerated.
Load More Replies...Driving my crew around, occasionally one will yell something out the window (usually about a fellow motorist using their turn signal). I then have to remind them that it is MY name on the side of the truck, not theirs. Those crew members usually don't last long.
Way to out yourself w being ok w sexual harassment of women
Load More Replies...THANK YOU. This is what an ally looks like. I lived in DC for a while and the cat calling was so bad that I would sometimes walk around blocks to avoid areas where I knew certain guys hung out. Walking to work was stressful and some of the comments the men made would actively terrify me. For example, two guys thought it'd be funny to say: "I'll take the brunette, you take the blonde" when a friend and I were walking past. They had a good laugh at it; I was afraid they'd physically harm us. It's never a compliment. It doesn't make us feel good. It scares us and infringes upon our world. If every man kept his friends accountable in this way, our world would be a better place for women.
Good on you! Early on in our relationship my boyfriend (now husband) and I had an argument in which I got angry at him for tolerating sexist behaviour from one of his mates. My husband's argument was that although he found the behaviour unacceptable, it wasnt his responsibility to police the actions of his mates. To a certain extent he is right, but my argument is that by saying nothing he condoned the actions of his mate, and if he was willing to condone that behaviour then he wasnt the man I thought he was. We had a huge conversation which was a major eye opener for him relation to how women are perceived and treated and what his role in that was. Depsite it being a confronting issue for him he started paying attention and speaking up.
Not to mention making it clear to him that it is his responsibility because when men are all right talking to women that way, those women include his wife (and his mother and his sister and his daughter and his aunt . . . ).
Load More Replies...Straight men, never say anything to a woman that you wouldn't want to hear from Big Mick in the prison showers, OK? It's not amusing, it's not cute, it's not sexy, it's not a compliment, its creepy af.
Very good example of how to make them understand the effect!
Load More Replies...NTA, good move on the driver's part. However, i can't help but wonder what the poor girls were thinking, when they saw the car turn the corner and the guy get out. I'd bet they were worried the guy was going to go after them or something. An apology to the ladies right then would have been in order too.
Hopefully the corner was far enough away and out of sight.
Load More Replies...As a female wheelchair user I now get the sexist remarks and also wheelchair remarks like "you're too sexy to be in a wheelchair" and "that chair leaves you at just the right height to (nasty way of saying pleasure me)" and it's disgusting. I've never seen anyone with these men stand up to them and I hope men reading this either stand up if their friends do it or if it's them doing it, stop it. It's 2021 for gods sake! Grow up!!
You should respond with- "I'm also at the perfect height to d*ck punch you, you piece of sh*t."
Load More Replies...Absolutely pisses me off and I dont tolerate it. I have had employees do this as we are driving to job sites or stopping at the store in the morning. Literally breaking their neck as we drive by some girl, rolling the window down to stick their head out and stare. You get one warning then your fired.
if they literally break their neck, no need to fire them.
Load More Replies...We need to teach at a young age behaviour like that is predatory and assaulting!!!
They KNOW. That's why they do it. What we need to do is stop treating grown-ass men as if the excuses they make for predatory behavior----"How was I supposed to know? One woman one time said she liked it, so that means it's okay!"------are worth even LISTENING to.
Load More Replies...It's important that men (and everyone) call out their friends for saying stuff like this. It's time for the normalising of this type of harassment to end. Whilst most in a group of friends would understand it's just "joking", by making this acceptable, they're also indicating that other harassment is also acceptable, and some people might then act on it. The other thing is that he's doing someone a favour by giving them a lift, they have the right to change their mind about that at any point, and don't need to feel bad about it. They're not a taxi.
If you make a sexist remark to your friends it can be considered a joke. If you say it towards someone of the other sex its harassment.
Load More Replies...Men holding other men accountable for their actions is how we make this s**t stop. Thank you sir.
Now this is a man to be proud of. More people need to be calling out friends and family when their behavior is disgusting.
I'm surprised he didn't kick all of them out. Being mad at him makes them just as guilty as the guy who was an ass.
I love this guy! Can I buy him dinner?! I can take a joke as well as anyone can and I live every day of my life trying to make people laugh but this is unacceptable in every way. First off we never know what someone else has gone through. The ladies he yelled at could have dealt with sexual abuse or a plethora of other things. A simple “joke” could potentially frighten someone. Also grown men or women should not behave this way. I can see joking with your buddies or even a guy joking with a female friend (I’m a lesbian with all heterosexual male friends who do this regularly with me and it’s cool because they’re my buddies and know I’m okay with it) but to do this to a total stranger is tacky, childish, and creepy on so many levels. For real if anyone knows the guy who put him out let me know and I’ll gladly buy him dinner.
NTA, but I'd have NOT dropped him off within a mile of those girls. Just in case.
Nope x1,000. Definitely NTA! Catcalling and making crude and inappropriate "jokes" like that should not be tolerated whatsoever. I seriously hope he learned his lesson and will think twice before trying to do that to a woman ever again.
So NTA. A genuinely decent human being. My daughter had moved to a new state to go to college. She put on a new dress for the first day of school. High neck, long sleeves, about knee length (although it wouldn't have mattered if it was a low cut short dress.) She was walking to school and was cat called. She never wore that dress again.
That's a shame. I bet she felt so pretty in that dress too. Sadly, this is the "norm" for us. We stop wearing certain clothes, change our makeup, hair, etc., and will often have to change up our whole routine just to avoid/stop the cat-calling and harassment.
Load More Replies...Trust me, the guys who need to read this will probably never see it. For that matter, you could probably get a billboard and they'd never believe you are talking about them.
Should have done it where the girl he yelled at could see, so she knew that when guys do that around other guys, they don't always laugh and think it's funny
That would put the woman in potential danger. I hope he was dropped off far away from the woman
Load More Replies...The first time this happened to me I was 12. I was walking down the street to a store in a great neighborhood with my 8 year old cousin. I thought the guy pulled up to ask for directions. He asked me to suck his c**k. I definitely looked like a child at the time. These guys are sick.
It's the angry reactions on the FB screenshots that get me. I really hope whoever used them was mad about the catcalling and not the comments but I have a sinking feeling they were mad at people saying NTA. The driver was 100% NTA. Catcaller made those women feel unsafe. That BS should not be tolerated by anyone.
NTA. So NTA that he even called the guy to make sure he got home safe. I hope that the guy that walked home actually learned his lesson and changed his behavior instead of just not saying anything like that when he's around the NTA guy. Women are SO over having to deal with this sh*t.
Definitely NTA. I flip off guys in cars who do that to me. IK it's a dangerous movw, but f**k that s**t. I've been dealing with that crap since elementary school. Not even joking.
he is definitely NTA! his friend did something that disrespects women and he was defending them by kicking his friend out. his friend is lucky to have him considering he was kind enough to check he got home ok. man deserves a medal. wenever im walking alone i always have "im married f*** off" on my left hand and give the guy the finger. if they get out of the car or try something i press the emergency call button on my phone so they can hear wats going on and i use simple sayings my cop friend taught me so i can make the 911 call without them knowing. i do that or mess with their heads leaving them speechless and thinking im a b**** that would cause too much trouble for them. the 2nd thing is usually the safer route lol. but seriously i wish there was a guy like this in every car that has a disgusting guy in it. he taught his friend a lesson lets hope it got thru to him and he doesnt pull the s*** again
Normal people wouldn't hurt other people without any reason. People need to understand that catcalling makes the other side feels uncomfortable, hurt even. If you know that and still do it, I guess you're just a shitty person.
Women have been saying this for ages, but men don't listen to women, only other men.
Thank you for being an example of how men should behave. I wish there was more of you guys — well done!
Your Mother raised a true gentleman. NEVER change who you you are and never apologise for it. Thank you for being so awesome. Any woman who shares her life with you is very lucky.
This. This is how to be a decent man. Imagine that was your daughter, your mother, your aunt.
This was a great move on his part. A better move would have been to kick them all out to the curb and make them walk. The best move he could make? Find new friends.
NTA - more like a hero. The only way to stop things like that, is by other men reacting.
I don't know these particular girls, but I know if a friend and I were walking together, and a car full of 4 men catcalled us, I'd be worried that they'd stop and harass us physically or maybe even further. Those guys would have laughed it off and not thought any more about it. Those girls would be worried about their safety every time they went out together. Most men who do this have no idea how much it effects a woman's psyche. They never give any thought to how much rape and assault figure in every woman's day to day life.
easier not to talk to women at all, to be honest. outside of ones i already know, i cant be asked. being accused of sexual harrassment for asking what time it is and then having them screech "current year current year!" isnt worth my f*****g time
NTA. and anyone backing him? Please feel free to walk as well. Kudos for still checking up on him getting home safe.
NTA, in fact - YAAH! (You Are A Hero!) Thank you for standing up against this appalling behaviour. And for doing it immediately and forcefully. BTW - you need better friends.
You took a stand, went against your peers and brought a few young stragglers into the 21st century. Women all over the world felt a warm hug at the moment you did that! I couldn't be more proud if you were my *own* son!!
Yes it was wrong, but now it's about how you kicked him out of the car. These are opportunities to change someone's perspective, but when we shut someone out, they get angry and may learn nothing.
What he learned is that his behavior won’t be tolerated.
Load More Replies...Driving my crew around, occasionally one will yell something out the window (usually about a fellow motorist using their turn signal). I then have to remind them that it is MY name on the side of the truck, not theirs. Those crew members usually don't last long.
Way to out yourself w being ok w sexual harassment of women
Load More Replies...
262
97