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Husband Spends Time With OF Models Instead Of His Wife, She Decides To Give Up Custody
In many people’s eyes, being a woman is directly linked to being a mom—if not now, then someday. That is why many women are encouraged, if not pressured, to have children, whether they desire it or not.
That’s what happened to this redditor, who was pressured by her husband and her family to become a mom. Even though “they said it would be different when you have your own child,” the woman hated being a mother and a wife; so, eventually, she reached a breaking point and decided to uproot herself from the life she detested and move on.
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Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)
This woman wanted out of her marriage and the life she hated
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: victim_6
Women tend to experience more pressure than men when it comes to parenting
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
As a woman, you often have to explain yourself if you say you don’t want to have children. In such cases, people rush to tell you that having a child of your own is magical and that the longing to become a mother will present itself when you fall pregnant, when you give birth, when you hold your baby for the first time, or when you reach another important milestone. But what if it won’t?
The societal pressure to become a mom, a wife, or whatever people around you expect you to be is strong—even in the 21st century. Granted, men often have to fight battles of their own, but when it comes to parenthood, they seem to be less pressured by society compared to their female counterparts. According to YouGov’s 2024 data, people in the US were more than twice as likely to say that women (37%) face pressure to have children than to say that men do (17%).
Data presented by the Pew Research Center reveals that out of child-free respondents aged 50 and over, women were also more likely than men to say they felt societal pressure to have children at least sometimes when they were younger (42% vs. 27% respectively). Roughly a third of the respondents in that age group shared that they never wanted to have children, though, comprising a group of voluntarily child-free individuals who are also often stigmatized for, as studies put it, “falling outside the margins of normativity in a society that is pronatalist.”
A research on the pressure child-free women feel to have kids echoed the idea that women are usually expected to want to become mothers. The lead author behind the research, University of Nebraska-Lincoln sociologist Julia McQuillan, pointed out that while “there are women who have low or no distress about not being mothers” despite the societal pressure, in general, “motherhood is so highly connected with adult femininity in the United States that many women feel that they need to be mothers.”
There are stark differences regarding what’s expected of men and women
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Bearing in mind how deep-rooted societal pressure on women is, it’s no surprise that it often starts weighing down on females at an early age. An Ipsos poll carried out in Toronto found that a majority of teenage girls in Canada—nearly 60%—feel pressure from society “to conform to unrealistic expectations about what it means to ‘be a girl,’ whether it’s how they should look, dress, speak, or act, or the specific interests they should have.” To make matters worse, they also feel pressure from the media or social media to conform to unrealistic beauty standards.
Clearly, the societal pressure on women—as well as men—relates to way more than just parenting. But the difference between what’s expected of the genders is quite stark. Pew Research Center’s data on how Americans see expectations for men and women show that the trait people believe society values in men the most is honesty and morality, while in women—it’s physical attractiveness.
In addition to parenting, looks, and a hundred other things women are expected to do or be, they also often feel pressured to find and stick to a suitable partner. Studies on how adults in emerging adulthood perceive pressure revealed that females felt more pressure from parents or family to enter a relationship than males. They also reported experiencing more fear of being single.
The OP shared that she, too, felt immense pressure to live a certain way, which eventually led to her living a life she hated. “I was pressured by society, my husband, and my own family to have this baby and how I will love this life after I have this baby and just to do it and give it time,” she said, adding that it just didn’t work out that way. After reading her story, netizens took to the comments section to share their thoughts.
Fellow netizens shared their thoughts in the comments
Some people opened up about similar stories
Many felt bad for the kid, the woman was going to leave behind
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Marki Campbell 10 months ago
OP says her husband practically raised his little brother and then in the next sentence said he was pampered by his mother his whole life. Something is not adding up
Nils Skirnir 10 months ago
Both could be true. One during childhood, the other in adulthood
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David 10 months ago
yup I feel back for a kid who is going to grow up with a father who dumps him/her on other people with minimal interaction, a mother who abandoned them and resents their existence, etc That child will be messed up and destroyed for life. I feel so bad for the kid
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Nils Skirnir 10 months ago
The Elon Musk, Andrew Tate, P Diddy, etc Syndrome. Leave lots of dna and run. Seems to have infected the under 40s too
8Yorkies-and-33cats 10 months ago
I know this is a complex situation, and everyone's rights and freedoms should be respected, but all I can think of is poor, poor child.
Snow_White 10 months ago
It's not a complex situation. It's a straight forward situation if she were a man. That's her point and well done to this woman. Her strength is inspiring. The only freedom and rights that were affected is hers. She was forced into pregnancy, into that situation by her husband. A child is a product of the situation that was caused by her husband. Her husband is responsible for the child's happiness in this case and should be forced into exceptional childcare. But that's not gonna happen...
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Betsy S 10 months ago
If you are a woman of childbearing age in the U.S. and don't want to have any or more children, your rights are being squeezed harder every day. Take yourself on a nice International vacation and get your tubes tied while you're there. You know they won't let you do it in the U.S. unless you're 35 and already have 6 children, so take control away from them and take care of your own reproductive needs. Abortion is gone, soon birth control will be as well. Don't wait. Don't let them turn you into a broodmare without your consent.
J R 9 months ago
While I agree with this, we don't know if this woman is in the US.
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Janelle Collard 10 months ago (edited)
If someone had forced me to have children, I would have done the same. I am 100% behind OP.
Sunny Day 10 months ago
Lots of men are low-wage-earners and still get hit with child support. I don't think she's going to keep all her money as she says.
Earonn - 10 months ago
she said he's a high earner and would be too proud to accept money for her (stupid, but does he look like a clever, mature man?)
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Katiekat 10 months ago
And THIS is why you develop critical thinking skills as early as possible, to RESIST indoctrination which is never about the individual's wants and needs! To be yourself, in a world that demands conformity, is true strength. I'm 50+, knew from single digits I wanted to marry and never wanted kids, made sure my life turned out that way. It turned into a game to just keep saying NO to society, to any idiots who tried to pressure me into having kids, because it was so UNTHINKING, and so inconsiderate of what I wanted and needed as an individual. No kids, no regrets! Question EVERYTHING, especially society and religion. Both don't care what's best for individual women!
Agat 10 months ago
Where I live it doesn't matter how much you make, you have to pay child support. It's not a lot if you're really poor, but still - you must pay for the child you had because you're responsible for them. It's a double-edged sword but created to protect children from parents who want to just leave without taking any financial responsibility.
S. K. 10 months ago
The poor kid! The generalisations in this post regarding men no doubt come from personal experience and present a very skewed perspective of what men and fathers are. Most men are amazing fathers who treat their partners well. If I was offered 100% custody of my child, I'd take it with both hands and never let go.
Royal Stray 10 months ago
1. OP says "sometimes you don't know until after" but you did though? You said that you never wanted a child but was pressured so you very much knew. 2. OP's husband sounds like a pain, but I don't really like this whole "They" and "all men do" sure some do, and those people are awful. But this is the same as saying "all women want is money" and c**p like that. You are with an awful person, that doesn't make everyone with the same genitals awful
MotherRobinson 10 months ago
She didn't mean all men. That's just how she's venting, she didn't mean literally all men. I know lots of people who say all men , all women or everybody does this and that but not really mean literally all. She's mad and it's just talk. My mom does that as well.
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JK 10 months ago (edited)
To all the people who voted "unfair to abandoned her child..." - *you* were obviously raised by people that *love you*. Some of us weren't that lucky, even without abüse, being raised by a parent that doesn't want you is *obvious* to the child, eventually. I can't even begin to tell you the emotional/psychological effects suffered by that child. It is *agony* on every level. Be grateful for your life, but don't forget we didn't all have it. I would far rather never have been born than had the upbringing I had, and I'm *still* fighting the demons it curses you with. No amount of therapy or medication can remove it, you just "live" with it.
Mark Childers 10 months ago
No kid should grow up in a house with a parent who doesn't love them. That kind of trauma and blow to the kid's self-esteem and self worth will follow them for the rest of their life. For so long, we had safe and legal abortion, and now unwanted kids will have to live that life. Freakonomics showed that when crime was rampant in the 70's, it got slightly better every year after. Most communities explained it was because of their increased police force and other factors. It turns out, abortion was legalized, and people were no longer being forced to raise unwanted kids. I wonder where we'll be 20 years from now.
Earonn - 10 months ago
A mother who realises that she can't fill the role as good as the child deserves and has the guts to withstand society's pressure to act accordingly IS a good mother. A bad mother just caves and acts it out on the child in secret. You guys need that breeding = happiness brainwashing out of your heads.
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FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago (edited)
This is why you don't have PIV s*x with an AH. There are certainly inconsistencies that make this sound fake, but if a person hates their child and hates their life, it's better for the child that they get out and just send the monthly maintenance check. It isn't good, but any person who can be bullied into having a child and staying in a relationship that they hate, doesn't have the moral compass to be a decent parent. The kid is worse off than having a parent, but better off than having someone in the home hate them. There's no chance with OP in the house there won't be abuse. That kind of anger and resentment, especially in a person who is that stunted emotionally always involves abuse. Maybe the kid will be safe over the long term with dad. But outlook isn't good. Stop having kids if you won't give them a good home. She talks about this child, a person like an object, and wants sympathy. I hope she is treated by everyone she ever meets how she treats her own kid.
Laura A Ivett 10 months ago
I was pressured by society? No the f**k you were not, just full stop. People blaming all their misery on society is absolute garbage. You made a choice, stop blaming your s****y decisions on society. Society did not tell you to have children there are tens of thousands of people out there who choose to be Child free.
Angela Corvaia 10 months ago
How about those GREAT parents whose kids have kids and expect their parents to raise them. A friend of my sister did that....couldn't support herself and had a s****y husband but made sure to have two kids that her parents took in... Ruined their retirement because 'family' takes care of family. Wish I could of seen their life without those 'responsibilities'...
Ellinor 10 months ago
I really feel for that woman, yes the baby will not have an amazing life growing up, but should she abandon her own happiness because of it for the future 18-something years ? I don't think so. It's not a decision she made lightly and she's going to be judged forever for that when men who do the same are not so hardly judged. I send her all my strength and courage for her future.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
It's not even just about HER happiness. That child would be able to sense his mother's resentment. She may not hate him directly, but she hates being a mother and she hates that she had a child. He would absolutely be able to pick up on that even if she tried to hide it. So, she's giving the child a chance at a life without her constant background resentment, anger, and loathing of being a mother.
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Donna Harris 4 months ago
You're right...the only one innocent is your child. At least you are honest, shame it took bearing a child to find out that you really do feel this way, the kid is going to have issues when they grow up. I feel for this child. You? Your husband? Don't give a s**t about either or you..go live the life you were meant to live..and dear heavens don't bow to pressure again..this isn't a pet we're talking about
Rimjabbathehutt 4 months ago
If more woke women walked out of parenthood there'd be a lot fewer trànnys. Kids need a strong man.
Be_ Heard 9 months ago
This śhit is gonna keep happening until ppl start minding their own business and let others live their life the way they want! Stop telling ppl what they want in life. You. Don't. Know. I never had kids and got my tubes tied. Best decision ever. I feel like i would be a terrible mother. Some ppl are just not meant for it and that's absolutely 💯 ok!!
J R 9 months ago
I mean, I do feel that if a parent truly doesn't want their kid and can't even fake it, it's better to leave. That being said, the woman should pay child support. It would be different if she was forced to give birth, but pressured is not quite the same as forced. If a man felt pressured by society and his wife to have a kid, then walked out and didn't pay a dime in child support, most people would call him a dead-beat dad. I am incredibly sorry for her. I think she should leave rather than stay and make the child's life miserable. But she still owes financial support.
Osint Expat 9 months ago
It’s heartbreaking when trust is broken and priorities shift in a marriage—especially when it affects children. If you’re in a similar situation and need clarity, I specialize in ethical digital investigations (OSINT) to help uncover the truth with integrity. I’ve helped others navigate these painful moments, and I offer discreet, legal support. If you need answers, reach out at quicksilverskriptor(AT)protonmail(DOT)com. No one should have to make life-altering decisions without knowing the full story.
John Purves 9 months ago
It's very sad that OP came to this realization after she was married and had a child.
heather jamieson 9 months ago
Having grown up with a mother who only had kids because it was expected of her and with a father who abandoned his wife and 5 kids when I was only 8 y-o, I can relate to this woman's situation. Men like these are why the birth rates are dropping. Men have weaponized law & economics against us. Why should we let them use us to clean up their messes?
Sherri Smith 9 months ago
All this hating kids and yet you blame him for “getting you pregnant.” You should have had your tubes (or knees) tied. You claim he doesn’t want the child either. Put it up for adoption before it gets any older.
barbara Nivens 9 months ago
I never wanted kids and hubby was fine with that. I did offer to have one but, he'd have to give up duck hunting every weekend during the season and two week out of state elk hunting trips until the kid went to school. Hard no from him. However he was to chicken to get snipped. So, I got my tubes tied. (He's older than me.). His gf after we split couldn't get pregnant. A month before he turned 50 #1 came had two. A few years ago me, hubby and my Bil (really Bil? Smdh) got letters from a county asking if we'd like to be foster parents. For my ex's 🤦 Tossed them. It's so sad for this woman and child. But, so much better than growing up feeling not wanted. My mom was a surprise, 10 year difference between her and her older sister. Her mother made sure she knew she wasn't wanted. Pretty sure she'd have been happier without either of them. Her father and then stepfather were who loved her.
Max Fox 10 months ago (edited)
She should look for adoptive parents for the kid. first she should have the father's paternal right terminated for abandonment, and then find a good couple to adopt the kid.
Earonn - 10 months ago
Well done, OP (I know she can't read this). A child needs a loving parent, not one who resents to be a parent. This happens when motherhood is forced on women. No, we don't magically fall in love with a child just because it's ours. It's nice when it happens but it's not a given. And she was particularly unlucky with her family and her spermist. Ideally, the child would be given to a couple who wants to adopt, where both parents would want and love it, but unfortunately our society puts blood relation over actual well-being of the child.
Kate Johnson 10 months ago
If he's not helping, why should he keep the child? They should give the child up for adoption to a family that actually wants to raise them, not this cluster f**k.
Skip Reynolds 10 months ago
Completely understandable, I say "Good for her." Not that it matters I'm a man who's been happily married 55 years.
Tonyah Mcanelly 10 months ago
Of all the people I feel bad for is this child. Granted you didnt want the child but hes too young to understand . The last thing he needs in his life is his parents abandoning him . considering the circumstances I would take my child and leave and raise my child to NOT be like his father . at this point as far as the adults there is alot of selfishness going on .
Sara Shamsabadi 10 months ago
however awful he is & your situation was as far as you feeling pressured, you as an adult CHOSE to keep the baby & birth it. What horrible humans you both are. Hopefully that child finds someone to want to be their parent & love them. I wish as a society we forced people to take classes & be emotionally stable before procreating
Earonn - 10 months ago
Yes, because being raised by a mother who resents it will be SOO much better for the child? WTF, Sara? Love cannot be forced. Yes, the child would fare best with adoptive parents but what the f**k gives you the right to tell a grown woman who knows herself that what she feels isn't right? Let alone that she was pressured into this.
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jasper 10 months ago
Wow. There are a lot of women in the post comments that apparently have really s****y taste in men, or just go along to get along or something. I've had crappy boyfriends, for a variety of reasons, but I never had one that was manipulative. And my husband is the nicest man on the planet.
Alex Martin 10 months ago
I read things like this and I am flabbergasted. I love spending time with my son from the moment he was born. Diaper changes, midnight feedings, rocking him at 2AM with gentle music playing in the background, falling asleep together on the recliner, walking the stroller around the neighborhood so he'd sleep, trips to the playground, Little People, Hot wheels, Legos, Rescue Rangers, Transformers, homework, computer games, Cub Scouts, the drive to and from school, saving for college, and then dropping him off for the first time- all of that, wouldn't trade a thing for it. Best thing I'll ever do.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I think the difference here is that clearly you wanted to have a child. OP did not. OP felt pressured into it. Even if your son was technically an "oopsie"/unplanned pregnancy, you embraced parenthood and stepped into its waters. OP hates those waters. We're all different, and it doesn't make OP wrong or evil to realize she hates being a mother. It's a "kind of sucks all around" situation.
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KrazyChiMama 10 months ago
Jeezus I hate people…that poor little boy…that’s enough internet for now :(
Marki Campbell 10 months ago
OP says her husband practically raised his little brother and then in the next sentence said he was pampered by his mother his whole life. Something is not adding up
Nils Skirnir 10 months ago
Both could be true. One during childhood, the other in adulthood
Load More Replies... David 10 months ago
yup I feel back for a kid who is going to grow up with a father who dumps him/her on other people with minimal interaction, a mother who abandoned them and resents their existence, etc That child will be messed up and destroyed for life. I feel so bad for the kid
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 10 months ago
The Elon Musk, Andrew Tate, P Diddy, etc Syndrome. Leave lots of dna and run. Seems to have infected the under 40s too
8Yorkies-and-33cats 10 months ago
I know this is a complex situation, and everyone's rights and freedoms should be respected, but all I can think of is poor, poor child.
Snow_White 10 months ago
It's not a complex situation. It's a straight forward situation if she were a man. That's her point and well done to this woman. Her strength is inspiring. The only freedom and rights that were affected is hers. She was forced into pregnancy, into that situation by her husband. A child is a product of the situation that was caused by her husband. Her husband is responsible for the child's happiness in this case and should be forced into exceptional childcare. But that's not gonna happen...
Load More Replies... Betsy S 10 months ago
If you are a woman of childbearing age in the U.S. and don't want to have any or more children, your rights are being squeezed harder every day. Take yourself on a nice International vacation and get your tubes tied while you're there. You know they won't let you do it in the U.S. unless you're 35 and already have 6 children, so take control away from them and take care of your own reproductive needs. Abortion is gone, soon birth control will be as well. Don't wait. Don't let them turn you into a broodmare without your consent.
J R 9 months ago
While I agree with this, we don't know if this woman is in the US.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 10 months ago (edited)
If someone had forced me to have children, I would have done the same. I am 100% behind OP.
Sunny Day 10 months ago
Lots of men are low-wage-earners and still get hit with child support. I don't think she's going to keep all her money as she says.
Earonn - 10 months ago
she said he's a high earner and would be too proud to accept money for her (stupid, but does he look like a clever, mature man?)
Load More Replies... Katiekat 10 months ago
And THIS is why you develop critical thinking skills as early as possible, to RESIST indoctrination which is never about the individual's wants and needs! To be yourself, in a world that demands conformity, is true strength. I'm 50+, knew from single digits I wanted to marry and never wanted kids, made sure my life turned out that way. It turned into a game to just keep saying NO to society, to any idiots who tried to pressure me into having kids, because it was so UNTHINKING, and so inconsiderate of what I wanted and needed as an individual. No kids, no regrets! Question EVERYTHING, especially society and religion. Both don't care what's best for individual women!
Agat 10 months ago
Where I live it doesn't matter how much you make, you have to pay child support. It's not a lot if you're really poor, but still - you must pay for the child you had because you're responsible for them. It's a double-edged sword but created to protect children from parents who want to just leave without taking any financial responsibility.
S. K. 10 months ago
The poor kid! The generalisations in this post regarding men no doubt come from personal experience and present a very skewed perspective of what men and fathers are. Most men are amazing fathers who treat their partners well. If I was offered 100% custody of my child, I'd take it with both hands and never let go.
Royal Stray 10 months ago
1. OP says "sometimes you don't know until after" but you did though? You said that you never wanted a child but was pressured so you very much knew. 2. OP's husband sounds like a pain, but I don't really like this whole "They" and "all men do" sure some do, and those people are awful. But this is the same as saying "all women want is money" and c**p like that. You are with an awful person, that doesn't make everyone with the same genitals awful
MotherRobinson 10 months ago
She didn't mean all men. That's just how she's venting, she didn't mean literally all men. I know lots of people who say all men , all women or everybody does this and that but not really mean literally all. She's mad and it's just talk. My mom does that as well.
Load More Replies... JK 10 months ago (edited)
To all the people who voted "unfair to abandoned her child..." - *you* were obviously raised by people that *love you*. Some of us weren't that lucky, even without abüse, being raised by a parent that doesn't want you is *obvious* to the child, eventually. I can't even begin to tell you the emotional/psychological effects suffered by that child. It is *agony* on every level. Be grateful for your life, but don't forget we didn't all have it. I would far rather never have been born than had the upbringing I had, and I'm *still* fighting the demons it curses you with. No amount of therapy or medication can remove it, you just "live" with it.
Mark Childers 10 months ago
No kid should grow up in a house with a parent who doesn't love them. That kind of trauma and blow to the kid's self-esteem and self worth will follow them for the rest of their life. For so long, we had safe and legal abortion, and now unwanted kids will have to live that life. Freakonomics showed that when crime was rampant in the 70's, it got slightly better every year after. Most communities explained it was because of their increased police force and other factors. It turns out, abortion was legalized, and people were no longer being forced to raise unwanted kids. I wonder where we'll be 20 years from now.
Earonn - 10 months ago
A mother who realises that she can't fill the role as good as the child deserves and has the guts to withstand society's pressure to act accordingly IS a good mother. A bad mother just caves and acts it out on the child in secret. You guys need that breeding = happiness brainwashing out of your heads.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago (edited)
This is why you don't have PIV s*x with an AH. There are certainly inconsistencies that make this sound fake, but if a person hates their child and hates their life, it's better for the child that they get out and just send the monthly maintenance check. It isn't good, but any person who can be bullied into having a child and staying in a relationship that they hate, doesn't have the moral compass to be a decent parent. The kid is worse off than having a parent, but better off than having someone in the home hate them. There's no chance with OP in the house there won't be abuse. That kind of anger and resentment, especially in a person who is that stunted emotionally always involves abuse. Maybe the kid will be safe over the long term with dad. But outlook isn't good. Stop having kids if you won't give them a good home. She talks about this child, a person like an object, and wants sympathy. I hope she is treated by everyone she ever meets how she treats her own kid.
Laura A Ivett 10 months ago
I was pressured by society? No the f**k you were not, just full stop. People blaming all their misery on society is absolute garbage. You made a choice, stop blaming your s****y decisions on society. Society did not tell you to have children there are tens of thousands of people out there who choose to be Child free.
Angela Corvaia 10 months ago
How about those GREAT parents whose kids have kids and expect their parents to raise them. A friend of my sister did that....couldn't support herself and had a s****y husband but made sure to have two kids that her parents took in... Ruined their retirement because 'family' takes care of family. Wish I could of seen their life without those 'responsibilities'...
Ellinor 10 months ago
I really feel for that woman, yes the baby will not have an amazing life growing up, but should she abandon her own happiness because of it for the future 18-something years ? I don't think so. It's not a decision she made lightly and she's going to be judged forever for that when men who do the same are not so hardly judged. I send her all my strength and courage for her future.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
It's not even just about HER happiness. That child would be able to sense his mother's resentment. She may not hate him directly, but she hates being a mother and she hates that she had a child. He would absolutely be able to pick up on that even if she tried to hide it. So, she's giving the child a chance at a life without her constant background resentment, anger, and loathing of being a mother.
Load More Replies... Donna Harris 4 months ago
You're right...the only one innocent is your child. At least you are honest, shame it took bearing a child to find out that you really do feel this way, the kid is going to have issues when they grow up. I feel for this child. You? Your husband? Don't give a s**t about either or you..go live the life you were meant to live..and dear heavens don't bow to pressure again..this isn't a pet we're talking about
Rimjabbathehutt 4 months ago
If more woke women walked out of parenthood there'd be a lot fewer trànnys. Kids need a strong man.
Be_ Heard 9 months ago
This śhit is gonna keep happening until ppl start minding their own business and let others live their life the way they want! Stop telling ppl what they want in life. You. Don't. Know. I never had kids and got my tubes tied. Best decision ever. I feel like i would be a terrible mother. Some ppl are just not meant for it and that's absolutely 💯 ok!!
J R 9 months ago
I mean, I do feel that if a parent truly doesn't want their kid and can't even fake it, it's better to leave. That being said, the woman should pay child support. It would be different if she was forced to give birth, but pressured is not quite the same as forced. If a man felt pressured by society and his wife to have a kid, then walked out and didn't pay a dime in child support, most people would call him a dead-beat dad. I am incredibly sorry for her. I think she should leave rather than stay and make the child's life miserable. But she still owes financial support.
Osint Expat 9 months ago
It’s heartbreaking when trust is broken and priorities shift in a marriage—especially when it affects children. If you’re in a similar situation and need clarity, I specialize in ethical digital investigations (OSINT) to help uncover the truth with integrity. I’ve helped others navigate these painful moments, and I offer discreet, legal support. If you need answers, reach out at quicksilverskriptor(AT)protonmail(DOT)com. No one should have to make life-altering decisions without knowing the full story.
John Purves 9 months ago
It's very sad that OP came to this realization after she was married and had a child.
heather jamieson 9 months ago
Having grown up with a mother who only had kids because it was expected of her and with a father who abandoned his wife and 5 kids when I was only 8 y-o, I can relate to this woman's situation. Men like these are why the birth rates are dropping. Men have weaponized law & economics against us. Why should we let them use us to clean up their messes?
Sherri Smith 9 months ago
All this hating kids and yet you blame him for “getting you pregnant.” You should have had your tubes (or knees) tied. You claim he doesn’t want the child either. Put it up for adoption before it gets any older.
barbara Nivens 9 months ago
I never wanted kids and hubby was fine with that. I did offer to have one but, he'd have to give up duck hunting every weekend during the season and two week out of state elk hunting trips until the kid went to school. Hard no from him. However he was to chicken to get snipped. So, I got my tubes tied. (He's older than me.). His gf after we split couldn't get pregnant. A month before he turned 50 #1 came had two. A few years ago me, hubby and my Bil (really Bil? Smdh) got letters from a county asking if we'd like to be foster parents. For my ex's 🤦 Tossed them. It's so sad for this woman and child. But, so much better than growing up feeling not wanted. My mom was a surprise, 10 year difference between her and her older sister. Her mother made sure she knew she wasn't wanted. Pretty sure she'd have been happier without either of them. Her father and then stepfather were who loved her.
Max Fox 10 months ago (edited)
She should look for adoptive parents for the kid. first she should have the father's paternal right terminated for abandonment, and then find a good couple to adopt the kid.
Earonn - 10 months ago
Well done, OP (I know she can't read this). A child needs a loving parent, not one who resents to be a parent. This happens when motherhood is forced on women. No, we don't magically fall in love with a child just because it's ours. It's nice when it happens but it's not a given. And she was particularly unlucky with her family and her spermist. Ideally, the child would be given to a couple who wants to adopt, where both parents would want and love it, but unfortunately our society puts blood relation over actual well-being of the child.
Kate Johnson 10 months ago
If he's not helping, why should he keep the child? They should give the child up for adoption to a family that actually wants to raise them, not this cluster f**k.
Skip Reynolds 10 months ago
Completely understandable, I say "Good for her." Not that it matters I'm a man who's been happily married 55 years.
Tonyah Mcanelly 10 months ago
Of all the people I feel bad for is this child. Granted you didnt want the child but hes too young to understand . The last thing he needs in his life is his parents abandoning him . considering the circumstances I would take my child and leave and raise my child to NOT be like his father . at this point as far as the adults there is alot of selfishness going on .
Sara Shamsabadi 10 months ago
however awful he is & your situation was as far as you feeling pressured, you as an adult CHOSE to keep the baby & birth it. What horrible humans you both are. Hopefully that child finds someone to want to be their parent & love them. I wish as a society we forced people to take classes & be emotionally stable before procreating
Earonn - 10 months ago
Yes, because being raised by a mother who resents it will be SOO much better for the child? WTF, Sara? Love cannot be forced. Yes, the child would fare best with adoptive parents but what the f**k gives you the right to tell a grown woman who knows herself that what she feels isn't right? Let alone that she was pressured into this.
Load More Replies... jasper 10 months ago
Wow. There are a lot of women in the post comments that apparently have really s****y taste in men, or just go along to get along or something. I've had crappy boyfriends, for a variety of reasons, but I never had one that was manipulative. And my husband is the nicest man on the planet.
Alex Martin 10 months ago
I read things like this and I am flabbergasted. I love spending time with my son from the moment he was born. Diaper changes, midnight feedings, rocking him at 2AM with gentle music playing in the background, falling asleep together on the recliner, walking the stroller around the neighborhood so he'd sleep, trips to the playground, Little People, Hot wheels, Legos, Rescue Rangers, Transformers, homework, computer games, Cub Scouts, the drive to and from school, saving for college, and then dropping him off for the first time- all of that, wouldn't trade a thing for it. Best thing I'll ever do.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I think the difference here is that clearly you wanted to have a child. OP did not. OP felt pressured into it. Even if your son was technically an "oopsie"/unplanned pregnancy, you embraced parenthood and stepped into its waters. OP hates those waters. We're all different, and it doesn't make OP wrong or evil to realize she hates being a mother. It's a "kind of sucks all around" situation.
Load More Replies... KrazyChiMama 10 months ago
Jeezus I hate people…that poor little boy…that’s enough internet for now :(
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