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Guy Thinks His Girlfriend’s “Exception” Celebrity Is A Joke, But Then She Actually Sleeps With Him
Guy Thinks His Girlfriend’s “Exception” Celebrity Is A Joke, But Then She Actually Sleeps With Him
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Guy Thinks His Girlfriend’s “Exception” Celebrity Is A Joke, But Then She Actually Sleeps With Him

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Trust is an essential component of any romantic relationship. It allows partners to feel secure and confident in their significant other’s love and commitment. Without trust, it can be difficult for them to succeed as a couple since even the smallest of breaches can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt.

This is exemplified in a Reddit post, in which a man shares their heartbreak after discovering that their girlfriend had slept with her celebrity crush. His confession on the subreddit ‘True Off My Chest‘ serves as a reminder that even the most seemingly solid connections can be fragile, and that it is important for people to communicate openly and honestly with their better half in order to avoid misunderstandings and sorrow.

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    Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)

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    People have been really sorry for the man and said that he should probably break up with his girlfriend

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    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    What do you think ?
    Damon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I would dump her. Not because she cheated, but because she wanted to f**k a YouTuber.

    Paul Neff
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone above had the perfect wording, "You're in love with the idea of her, the one you've created in your head, not the real her." This girl is an imposter of the woman you love in your heart, and it is an WHEN, not an IF, that you will become aware of this in time. Break up.

    Mad Dragon
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She knew she was going to try to f**k him when she made plans to go see the concert. OP is better off without her. The "exception" is supposed to be a light-hearted joke; a little fantasy you give yourself permission to have.

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhm...isn't the consensus that the exception-talk is only a joke and no real exception?

    Om
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think as someone said, that would be the case if they were talking about Hollywood celebrities (given they live far from that environment). But choosing a youtuber that she perfectly knew was/would be on her reach, that's just an announced cheating.

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    Jumping Jellyfishes
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most people with a brain understand that the celebrity "free pass" is just joke bantering and would not do this in real life while in a committed relationship. His gf knew this as well, which is why she was strangely silent after she got home. Cheating is cheating. And the reason she ended up telling you is because she wanted to brag about it. Consider it a bullet dodged.

    Casey McAlister
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are no "exceptions". You are either in an exclusive relationship, or you are not. And the fact she didn't tell him anything until she returned shows that she knew he won't be okay with that.

    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dunno...If my partner told me he had a celebrity "exception" and he slept with said "exception" I wouldn't really care since I was informed ahead of time and had plenty of time to talk to him about it. Then again I've been told I'm too lax with things like this so I guess I'm the weird one.

    Craig Becker
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You’re not alone. Maybe it’s my ADHD, but if my wife told me about her ‘exception’, I’d take it at face value. Furthermore, if her ‘exception’ came to town and she got tickets to see them, I would either a) object, b) go to the show with her, or c) let her go and assume she did it with the ‘exception’. As it is, my wife won’t let me out of the house if Kate McKinnon or Sarah Silverman come to town.

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    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always thought fantasy exceptions were just that, fantasies. If you aren't in an open relationship, that is cheating.

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When the Celebrity exception is Brad Pitt or Keanu then you can be like HaHa...because the odds of it happening are slim to none...but a YouTuber with less than 3 million views and small following you need to take that seriously, that is accessible! He isn't banging supermodels, he's still at regular groupie levels. You played it wrong dude!

    Ches Yamada
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with OP - cheating isn't cool -- but "she tainted my memory of her" comes off as an odd way of expressing themselves.

    A P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not really. When people have been cheated on, they often see that person or that person says something that instantly causes the partner to visualize the cheating in their head. Tainting the memory is a pretty accurate description, imo.

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    October
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should have had a serious conversation about this before she went to the concert, just to make sure they were really on the same page about this exeption.

    Zoe Duddle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. She shouldn’t have cheated and I don’t believe in ‘exceptions’, even proper celebrity ones as it’s still sleeping with another person and that’s cheating. What I don’t get though is why he never made it clear he was unhappy about it and instead just presumed she was joking. I can’t believe that when she got tickets to see her exception he didn’t ‘jokingly’ say ‘oi, no sleeping with him though’. You definitely would if you knew your partner was going to see their exception without you, especially when they’re not even that famous.

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    Lara Verne
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's no "exception". It doesn't matter that her crush was celebrity, even if he was Jason Momoa or other famous guy who's considered sexy. She might as well sleep with grocery store clerk. It's still the same. Cheating.

    Kathryn Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't agree. I think that's something that's up to each couple to decide together, not for you to blanket dictate. Her failure was in not making SURE that he knew she was serious, and his in dismissing her repeatedly telling him up front that if she had the chance she'd take it. THAT is what makes it cheating, not just the having sex with someone else part.

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    ERIKA H.
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I prefer monogamous relationships, but I understand other people are genuinely fine with having relationships that are open, or in this case, having a pass. IMO, her silence is her guilt. If she felt they had a clear understanding, she wouldn't be silent afterwards. She failed to confirm they had the same understanding before the concert, or before she went to the hotel (although I don't think HE should have had to ask her if she was serious before going to the concert, I am kinda surprised he didn't - even if he did think it was a joke). The problem I see here is the clear violation of boundaries and trust, and lack of respect for one another - not the sex itself and s**t shaming some of the other comments are latching onto. The way he writes about her (although I understand he's heartbroken) is a bit telling and reads unhealthy to me. No one should be "obsessed" with anyone, and don't place people on a pedestal.

    Vladimíra Matejová
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think he was just deeply in love with her. Many guys are not expressing their feelings like this but they still feel the same. Men can be so heart broken it takes them years to get over it. The love he felt is something ppl look for in their life, it is not unhealthy. As for her: she is tge AH she knew it wasnt okay she was just using it as an excuse. After 4years she must have known how he felt about her that he probably was planning his future with her. Obsessing over a celebrity is a bit weird but okay when you are single. When you are in a committed relationship it is over. You should never cross a certain line

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    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She sounds like a f*****g loser. Anyone that obsessed with a celebrity is f*****g weird, flat out. It’s one thing to desire someone, enjoy their work and think they are hot. It’s different to actually be so obsessed with someone WHO DOESNT EVEN KNOW YOURE ALIVE that you’d ruin your actual relationship and life over them. They don’t know you! That’s so cringy. I’ve hooked up with 2 minor celebs too. They’re literally just regular people, not any different from anyone else, just usually talented in some way. Idolizing people like that is lame as hell.

    Dave Jensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude, just my opinion... if she did it this time, there's a big possibility she's done it before. I can guarantee that there are a huge line of girls begging for a guy who would be obsessed with her like you are with your gf, and would take you any day and love you like you deserve to be. Dump her, delete her, forget her. You deserve so much better. Good luck.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And what happens when that "celebrity" comes back to town? Yikes.

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    Judy Takács
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them." She told you…and clearly showed you… she's a cheater. She didn't think there was anything wrong with it. She doesn't value your love. Since you're not married and there are no children, its time to get out of this relationship. There are better women out there, and this betrayal will rear its ugly head time and time again. You will never truly trust her again. She doesn't deserve your trust and you deserve a way better person. Way better.

    Paul Werner
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it will always be in the back of your mind and it will most likely happen again,cut your losses it could be worse you could be married and have kids.

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say that this relationship is doomed. Not because she cheated but because they are both pretty immature imho. She, because she is having such a crush on a YouTube C-celebrity that she not only phantasizes about but really accepts a ONS with him and he, because he did not realize that she was dead serious about this "exception" and now plays the dying swan because of it. Sorry, but while she might not be the brightest bulb in this chandelier he is giving off the vibes of a really pathetic loser. "Lonely, heartbroken, tainted memory, I will never be good enough" blablabla... Babe, climb out of Snow White's glass coffin, put on your big boy pants and talk with her about it!

    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, it’s really scary that you’re putting some measure of blame on OP. Calling him immature because he TRUSTED his gf? Wow. Look at you invalidating how he feels and what he feels by mocking it. He likely actually IS heartbroken and lonely. I’m disappointed that someone could mock his feelings so lightly and blithely.

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    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just shows how important it is to actually set boundaries in a relationship, instead of just joking about it. Some people are ok with the whole "if it's just sex with another person, its ok", other people are absolutely not okay with it. OP clearly isn't, while the girlfriend doesn't seem to care that much. Which is sad.

    Miss Frankfurter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She has broken your trust. If she did it once, she’ll do it again. She’s proved she’s capable. And smiling when she told you sounds like a definite (successful) try at hurting you. You can have a relationship without a lot of other things, but one of things you can’t have a successful relationship without is trust. That’s gone. It hurts right now, but in time it won’t. I went through somewhat of the same thing. Was engaged to marry him. He was shocked that I was outa there. My realization was that I dodged a bullet. Also, my BFF did sound and lighting for a pretty popular cover band. Traveled all over the US. Many travels were to places who wanted them back. Great for business. Believe me, that situation means NOTHING (caps for emphasis) to them. The women who will do that mean NOTHING to them. I won’t say here what they’re referred to as. She needs to work on her self respect big time.

    Kathryn Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    .....I don't think she was "trying to hurt him," Ithink she honestly expected him to be happy for her for achieving a bucket list item, and didn't actually think about the fact that he spent for years laughing off her telling him that she would if she had the chance. They both need to be out 9f this relationship, because they have different ideas of what that means that may not be reconcilable.

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    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do not understand this silly game of free passes. You are in a committed relationship, why even entertain cheating, because that is what it is - cheating. This person needs to get out of that *relationship* because she will do this again and again and again.

    Mama Penguin
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband and I joke about celebrities whom we find particularly attractive. If by some magic, Idris Elba knocked on my door and wanted to whisk me away, I would be very flattered but I'm not gonna dump someone who's been through thick and thin with me for six years. I'm sorry to say that even if OP decides to stay with her, this will forever taint the relationship. The level of trust is irreparably damaged.

    Kennedy Kargeaux
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That last comment "I hate when women obsess over celebrities" ...... I literally know more dudes with half naked posters of Megan Fox or Kate Upton in their garages than I know women with posters of Ryan gosling or any male celebrity... I've dated more men who obsess over their "hall pass" than women I've known to even have a hall pass! Lol. In my experience... dudes are way more prone to be obsessed with female celebs than Vice versa. Especially after their teen years. I'm not condoning what she did. They should have discussed this more. But my husband's hall pass pick is a woman from a metal band that's pretty famous... but still pretty low key. Like, it's 100% possible that it could happen based on the scene. I wouldn't be mad whatsoever. Not even a little bit. You only live once.. I'm not going to take away a once in a lifetime opportunity from him & have him always wonder "what could have been" but we've discussed this. It's already decided mutually. That's the difference.

    A P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first I was like... No way a Celebrity Pass actually happened in real life, but then I quickly discovered her pass was some random YouTuber, so not really on a level with some big name movie star. Folks are right, it's on par with your pass being the barista down the street, who is very possibly a tiktok or Instagram "star".

    Joe Gallagher
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A gentle reminder that no one is perfect. That includes everybody, and there are no exceptions. None! Talk it over face to face. get it all out of your system, ALL of it. forgive, openly, definitively. You'll need these skills if you're going to stick. Then celebrate the victory! ; which you both understand is temporary.

    Tom Drummer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, I get it. If you can't let it go, ok. But it's 2023. Heteronormative s**t is going out the window. Maybe he's lucky to be with a sexually free spirit who believes in pushing boundaries. She didn't do it the right way, with everybody clear on the parameters, but if she still wants to be with him and he loves her, I just don't think it's as clear cut as, dump her, you deserve better.

    Vladimíra Matejová
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my parents' generation there was a singer half of the women in the whole country were obsessing over. He had many women, children with several women as well. My father said one of his colleagues said if she had a chance she would let the singer make her a baby and she would not want anything from him. She just wanted his baby as a souvenir. I would say this is weird but if you are single then whatever. But being in a relationship it is NOT okay. Not with Rihanna not with Jason Mamoa, no one. You can obsess over them go to cons, get authograph or a kiss on your cheek but that is all. You had your chance when you were single

    Neuropotathy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dump her give her t-shirt "I'm not a s**t but 3M views are 3M views"

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...I feel like I recognize the comedian reference, isn't that Bert Kreisher (or however his name is spelled)?

    John Topper
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate to support the "bad guy" but think about things from her perspective. Even if joking, she gave herself one exception in the whole world. Of everyone on earth to choose from, she went with this fantasy. For the married guys out there, who do you think is the hottest celebrity on earth? Any supermodel, or actor. Brianna Hildebrand? Rhianna? Beyonce? What if you had one chance in your life to sleep with them? For the women, what if you had one chance to sleep with Chris Hemsworth? Or The Rock? Or Ryan Reynolds? I think this post lost a lot in translation when she picked a fairly minor celebrity, but for her it was a life fantasy come true. Something most of us will never have the chance to experience and something few of us would say 'no' to if we're being perfectly honest. I would say give her a pass. This is someone who lives thousands of miles away and she will never see him again. It's a perfect example of "this is just sex, and nothing else". There is no need to end a healthy relationship over a misunderstanding (she did think you were serious about allowing her exception).

    Om
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it is true that she technically warned him about this. But the difference I see is what someone commented, the definition of celebrity. Beyoncé, Rihanna and the people you mention not only live far away, like this youtuber, but they're really out of reach from ordinary people, with layers of security, and such that would prevent a random fan from reaching them. But a random youtuber, that she probably knew would eventually tour her city, or that she could go see somewhere else and try to talk to him after the show, that's a whole different thing. That's like saying you're exception is that pretty girl you always see at the bus stop, that you don't know, you don't know where she lives, but you know you could potentially talk to her and have something else, because she IS reachable. Probably if she got to sleep with Ryan Reynolds or Brad Pitt or someone like that, his reaction would've been different, who knows, but the fact that she chose this "celebrity" all along, really changes all

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    Emie N.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last comment was a bit uncalled for since just as many men obsess over celebrities too. But anyway he should dump her.

    Brindle Nutter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor guy, be strong and dump her. She is bad news

    MCathenaE
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could never! In a monogamous relationship, you make a commitment to the person you are with. A promise that they are the only one you'll be with. "Celebrity Exceptions" are still cheating.

    ZeroCapacity
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bah a YouTuber is not even a celebrity. Just a moron looking for validation. Dump the girl because I can guarantee this is not the first time she has done this just the first time you caught her. Love is never an excuse for s**t behavior from anyone. She needs to grow up and realize this and not cheat.

    Hamster
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like rejecting your celebrity crush is actually a much better story (one of the comments in the story suggests this). Let's be honest - 20 minutes of sex with a celebrity probably isn't going to be great (they are going to expect you to do all the work because they are the famous one). Here, it would be worse because it isn't a real celebrity but a youtube celebrity. If you are asked by the celebrity to come back to their hotel and refuse? How bada** is that!

    Javel!
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Ches Yamada
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's basically a fan of someone, but has connotations of fans that are willing (and want) to sleep with the celebrity.

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    B Little
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m going to go against the grain here hard. She was honest and open with you consistently about the fact she would sleep with him if she could. You both said you had exceptions. Many people have many different types of relationships. You couldn’t be honest and say “hey you know there aren’t any exceptions?”Especially before she went to the concert where you knew it was possible this would happen. She TOLD YOU she would try to get with this guy. Now your all hurt she did. It’s about communication! You didn’t tell her no, you didn’t tell her it wasn’t ok, you didn’t even go to the concert to spend time with her and keep her occupied. You told her you had exceptions too. Me and my so don’t joke about exceptions bc there aren’t any. I’m sure this already shook out but seriously you owe her an apology for your s****y communication skills. I made an account to defend this woman.

    Willem Oosterhof
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could make that singer really famous breaking his legs.🤣🤣

    Stacey Rae
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That singer didn't have a committed relationship with op. With that said please don't break her legs.

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    fffab74
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What kind of idiot has an obsession and wants to sleep with a minor youtuber?

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A random dude on youtube with a few followers isn't really a celeb. Another poster made this point. Not like he's Dan Reynolds (imagine dragons), or some other actual current celeb. Anyone can post a music vid they made on youtube. To be ACTUALLY good and an ACTUAL celeb I think you need a few million followers and/or a record deal with a major label and/or in a major hollywood or bollywood blockbuster. PewdiePie does not count; Chris Hemsworth does. HeadshaveGirlbyFeedfit does not count, Priyanka Chopra does. Speaking personally, I'd dump anyone who did this with anyone. Celebs are just people anyway.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always told my girlfriend that when Claudia Schiffer would turn up at our door asking for me I would be gone. She took that risk in stride.

    John Topper
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I hate to support the "bad guy" but think about things from her perspective. Even if joking, she gave herself one exception in the whole world. Of everyone on earth to choose from, she went with this fantasy. For the married guys out there, who do you think is the hottest celebrity on earth? Any supermodel, or actor. Brianna Hildebrand? Rhianna? Beyonce? What if you had one chance in your life to sleep with them? For the women, what if you had one chance to sleep with Chris Hemsworth? Or The Rock? Or Ryan Reynolds? I think this post lost a lot in translation when she picked a fairly minor celebrity, but for her it was a life fantasy come true. Something most of us will never have the chance to experience and something few of us would say 'no' to if we're being perfectly honest. I would say give her a pass. This is someone who lives thousands of miles away and she will never see him again. It's a perfect example of "this is just sex, and nothing else". There is no need to end a healthy relationship over a misunderstanding (she did think you were serious about allowing her exception).

    CV Vir
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    She told him well in advance, and he didn’t take her seriously. That’s when the problem started, not the evening of the concert.

    Temporary Dork
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I sort of understand this monogamy thing - I don't want to share my partner either - but it seems every commenter thinks sleeping with someone else ONCE is a huge breach of contract or something? Almost as if you own your partner's body. It creeps me out.

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a breach of trust in a monogamous relationship. That’s what those words mean. Loyalty, not ownership. Viewing it as an ownership is a toxic mentality.

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    Damon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I would dump her. Not because she cheated, but because she wanted to f**k a YouTuber.

    Paul Neff
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone above had the perfect wording, "You're in love with the idea of her, the one you've created in your head, not the real her." This girl is an imposter of the woman you love in your heart, and it is an WHEN, not an IF, that you will become aware of this in time. Break up.

    Mad Dragon
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She knew she was going to try to f**k him when she made plans to go see the concert. OP is better off without her. The "exception" is supposed to be a light-hearted joke; a little fantasy you give yourself permission to have.

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhm...isn't the consensus that the exception-talk is only a joke and no real exception?

    Om
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think as someone said, that would be the case if they were talking about Hollywood celebrities (given they live far from that environment). But choosing a youtuber that she perfectly knew was/would be on her reach, that's just an announced cheating.

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    Jumping Jellyfishes
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most people with a brain understand that the celebrity "free pass" is just joke bantering and would not do this in real life while in a committed relationship. His gf knew this as well, which is why she was strangely silent after she got home. Cheating is cheating. And the reason she ended up telling you is because she wanted to brag about it. Consider it a bullet dodged.

    Casey McAlister
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are no "exceptions". You are either in an exclusive relationship, or you are not. And the fact she didn't tell him anything until she returned shows that she knew he won't be okay with that.

    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dunno...If my partner told me he had a celebrity "exception" and he slept with said "exception" I wouldn't really care since I was informed ahead of time and had plenty of time to talk to him about it. Then again I've been told I'm too lax with things like this so I guess I'm the weird one.

    Craig Becker
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You’re not alone. Maybe it’s my ADHD, but if my wife told me about her ‘exception’, I’d take it at face value. Furthermore, if her ‘exception’ came to town and she got tickets to see them, I would either a) object, b) go to the show with her, or c) let her go and assume she did it with the ‘exception’. As it is, my wife won’t let me out of the house if Kate McKinnon or Sarah Silverman come to town.

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    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always thought fantasy exceptions were just that, fantasies. If you aren't in an open relationship, that is cheating.

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When the Celebrity exception is Brad Pitt or Keanu then you can be like HaHa...because the odds of it happening are slim to none...but a YouTuber with less than 3 million views and small following you need to take that seriously, that is accessible! He isn't banging supermodels, he's still at regular groupie levels. You played it wrong dude!

    Ches Yamada
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with OP - cheating isn't cool -- but "she tainted my memory of her" comes off as an odd way of expressing themselves.

    A P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not really. When people have been cheated on, they often see that person or that person says something that instantly causes the partner to visualize the cheating in their head. Tainting the memory is a pretty accurate description, imo.

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    October
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should have had a serious conversation about this before she went to the concert, just to make sure they were really on the same page about this exeption.

    Zoe Duddle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. She shouldn’t have cheated and I don’t believe in ‘exceptions’, even proper celebrity ones as it’s still sleeping with another person and that’s cheating. What I don’t get though is why he never made it clear he was unhappy about it and instead just presumed she was joking. I can’t believe that when she got tickets to see her exception he didn’t ‘jokingly’ say ‘oi, no sleeping with him though’. You definitely would if you knew your partner was going to see their exception without you, especially when they’re not even that famous.

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    Lara Verne
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's no "exception". It doesn't matter that her crush was celebrity, even if he was Jason Momoa or other famous guy who's considered sexy. She might as well sleep with grocery store clerk. It's still the same. Cheating.

    Kathryn Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't agree. I think that's something that's up to each couple to decide together, not for you to blanket dictate. Her failure was in not making SURE that he knew she was serious, and his in dismissing her repeatedly telling him up front that if she had the chance she'd take it. THAT is what makes it cheating, not just the having sex with someone else part.

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    ERIKA H.
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I prefer monogamous relationships, but I understand other people are genuinely fine with having relationships that are open, or in this case, having a pass. IMO, her silence is her guilt. If she felt they had a clear understanding, she wouldn't be silent afterwards. She failed to confirm they had the same understanding before the concert, or before she went to the hotel (although I don't think HE should have had to ask her if she was serious before going to the concert, I am kinda surprised he didn't - even if he did think it was a joke). The problem I see here is the clear violation of boundaries and trust, and lack of respect for one another - not the sex itself and s**t shaming some of the other comments are latching onto. The way he writes about her (although I understand he's heartbroken) is a bit telling and reads unhealthy to me. No one should be "obsessed" with anyone, and don't place people on a pedestal.

    Vladimíra Matejová
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think he was just deeply in love with her. Many guys are not expressing their feelings like this but they still feel the same. Men can be so heart broken it takes them years to get over it. The love he felt is something ppl look for in their life, it is not unhealthy. As for her: she is tge AH she knew it wasnt okay she was just using it as an excuse. After 4years she must have known how he felt about her that he probably was planning his future with her. Obsessing over a celebrity is a bit weird but okay when you are single. When you are in a committed relationship it is over. You should never cross a certain line

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    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She sounds like a f*****g loser. Anyone that obsessed with a celebrity is f*****g weird, flat out. It’s one thing to desire someone, enjoy their work and think they are hot. It’s different to actually be so obsessed with someone WHO DOESNT EVEN KNOW YOURE ALIVE that you’d ruin your actual relationship and life over them. They don’t know you! That’s so cringy. I’ve hooked up with 2 minor celebs too. They’re literally just regular people, not any different from anyone else, just usually talented in some way. Idolizing people like that is lame as hell.

    Dave Jensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude, just my opinion... if she did it this time, there's a big possibility she's done it before. I can guarantee that there are a huge line of girls begging for a guy who would be obsessed with her like you are with your gf, and would take you any day and love you like you deserve to be. Dump her, delete her, forget her. You deserve so much better. Good luck.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And what happens when that "celebrity" comes back to town? Yikes.

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    Judy Takács
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them." She told you…and clearly showed you… she's a cheater. She didn't think there was anything wrong with it. She doesn't value your love. Since you're not married and there are no children, its time to get out of this relationship. There are better women out there, and this betrayal will rear its ugly head time and time again. You will never truly trust her again. She doesn't deserve your trust and you deserve a way better person. Way better.

    Paul Werner
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it will always be in the back of your mind and it will most likely happen again,cut your losses it could be worse you could be married and have kids.

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say that this relationship is doomed. Not because she cheated but because they are both pretty immature imho. She, because she is having such a crush on a YouTube C-celebrity that she not only phantasizes about but really accepts a ONS with him and he, because he did not realize that she was dead serious about this "exception" and now plays the dying swan because of it. Sorry, but while she might not be the brightest bulb in this chandelier he is giving off the vibes of a really pathetic loser. "Lonely, heartbroken, tainted memory, I will never be good enough" blablabla... Babe, climb out of Snow White's glass coffin, put on your big boy pants and talk with her about it!

    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, it’s really scary that you’re putting some measure of blame on OP. Calling him immature because he TRUSTED his gf? Wow. Look at you invalidating how he feels and what he feels by mocking it. He likely actually IS heartbroken and lonely. I’m disappointed that someone could mock his feelings so lightly and blithely.

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    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just shows how important it is to actually set boundaries in a relationship, instead of just joking about it. Some people are ok with the whole "if it's just sex with another person, its ok", other people are absolutely not okay with it. OP clearly isn't, while the girlfriend doesn't seem to care that much. Which is sad.

    Miss Frankfurter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She has broken your trust. If she did it once, she’ll do it again. She’s proved she’s capable. And smiling when she told you sounds like a definite (successful) try at hurting you. You can have a relationship without a lot of other things, but one of things you can’t have a successful relationship without is trust. That’s gone. It hurts right now, but in time it won’t. I went through somewhat of the same thing. Was engaged to marry him. He was shocked that I was outa there. My realization was that I dodged a bullet. Also, my BFF did sound and lighting for a pretty popular cover band. Traveled all over the US. Many travels were to places who wanted them back. Great for business. Believe me, that situation means NOTHING (caps for emphasis) to them. The women who will do that mean NOTHING to them. I won’t say here what they’re referred to as. She needs to work on her self respect big time.

    Kathryn Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    .....I don't think she was "trying to hurt him," Ithink she honestly expected him to be happy for her for achieving a bucket list item, and didn't actually think about the fact that he spent for years laughing off her telling him that she would if she had the chance. They both need to be out 9f this relationship, because they have different ideas of what that means that may not be reconcilable.

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    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do not understand this silly game of free passes. You are in a committed relationship, why even entertain cheating, because that is what it is - cheating. This person needs to get out of that *relationship* because she will do this again and again and again.

    Mama Penguin
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband and I joke about celebrities whom we find particularly attractive. If by some magic, Idris Elba knocked on my door and wanted to whisk me away, I would be very flattered but I'm not gonna dump someone who's been through thick and thin with me for six years. I'm sorry to say that even if OP decides to stay with her, this will forever taint the relationship. The level of trust is irreparably damaged.

    Kennedy Kargeaux
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That last comment "I hate when women obsess over celebrities" ...... I literally know more dudes with half naked posters of Megan Fox or Kate Upton in their garages than I know women with posters of Ryan gosling or any male celebrity... I've dated more men who obsess over their "hall pass" than women I've known to even have a hall pass! Lol. In my experience... dudes are way more prone to be obsessed with female celebs than Vice versa. Especially after their teen years. I'm not condoning what she did. They should have discussed this more. But my husband's hall pass pick is a woman from a metal band that's pretty famous... but still pretty low key. Like, it's 100% possible that it could happen based on the scene. I wouldn't be mad whatsoever. Not even a little bit. You only live once.. I'm not going to take away a once in a lifetime opportunity from him & have him always wonder "what could have been" but we've discussed this. It's already decided mutually. That's the difference.

    A P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first I was like... No way a Celebrity Pass actually happened in real life, but then I quickly discovered her pass was some random YouTuber, so not really on a level with some big name movie star. Folks are right, it's on par with your pass being the barista down the street, who is very possibly a tiktok or Instagram "star".

    Joe Gallagher
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A gentle reminder that no one is perfect. That includes everybody, and there are no exceptions. None! Talk it over face to face. get it all out of your system, ALL of it. forgive, openly, definitively. You'll need these skills if you're going to stick. Then celebrate the victory! ; which you both understand is temporary.

    Tom Drummer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, I get it. If you can't let it go, ok. But it's 2023. Heteronormative s**t is going out the window. Maybe he's lucky to be with a sexually free spirit who believes in pushing boundaries. She didn't do it the right way, with everybody clear on the parameters, but if she still wants to be with him and he loves her, I just don't think it's as clear cut as, dump her, you deserve better.

    Vladimíra Matejová
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my parents' generation there was a singer half of the women in the whole country were obsessing over. He had many women, children with several women as well. My father said one of his colleagues said if she had a chance she would let the singer make her a baby and she would not want anything from him. She just wanted his baby as a souvenir. I would say this is weird but if you are single then whatever. But being in a relationship it is NOT okay. Not with Rihanna not with Jason Mamoa, no one. You can obsess over them go to cons, get authograph or a kiss on your cheek but that is all. You had your chance when you were single

    Neuropotathy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dump her give her t-shirt "I'm not a s**t but 3M views are 3M views"

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...I feel like I recognize the comedian reference, isn't that Bert Kreisher (or however his name is spelled)?

    John Topper
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate to support the "bad guy" but think about things from her perspective. Even if joking, she gave herself one exception in the whole world. Of everyone on earth to choose from, she went with this fantasy. For the married guys out there, who do you think is the hottest celebrity on earth? Any supermodel, or actor. Brianna Hildebrand? Rhianna? Beyonce? What if you had one chance in your life to sleep with them? For the women, what if you had one chance to sleep with Chris Hemsworth? Or The Rock? Or Ryan Reynolds? I think this post lost a lot in translation when she picked a fairly minor celebrity, but for her it was a life fantasy come true. Something most of us will never have the chance to experience and something few of us would say 'no' to if we're being perfectly honest. I would say give her a pass. This is someone who lives thousands of miles away and she will never see him again. It's a perfect example of "this is just sex, and nothing else". There is no need to end a healthy relationship over a misunderstanding (she did think you were serious about allowing her exception).

    Om
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it is true that she technically warned him about this. But the difference I see is what someone commented, the definition of celebrity. Beyoncé, Rihanna and the people you mention not only live far away, like this youtuber, but they're really out of reach from ordinary people, with layers of security, and such that would prevent a random fan from reaching them. But a random youtuber, that she probably knew would eventually tour her city, or that she could go see somewhere else and try to talk to him after the show, that's a whole different thing. That's like saying you're exception is that pretty girl you always see at the bus stop, that you don't know, you don't know where she lives, but you know you could potentially talk to her and have something else, because she IS reachable. Probably if she got to sleep with Ryan Reynolds or Brad Pitt or someone like that, his reaction would've been different, who knows, but the fact that she chose this "celebrity" all along, really changes all

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    Emie N.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last comment was a bit uncalled for since just as many men obsess over celebrities too. But anyway he should dump her.

    Brindle Nutter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor guy, be strong and dump her. She is bad news

    MCathenaE
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could never! In a monogamous relationship, you make a commitment to the person you are with. A promise that they are the only one you'll be with. "Celebrity Exceptions" are still cheating.

    ZeroCapacity
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bah a YouTuber is not even a celebrity. Just a moron looking for validation. Dump the girl because I can guarantee this is not the first time she has done this just the first time you caught her. Love is never an excuse for s**t behavior from anyone. She needs to grow up and realize this and not cheat.

    Hamster
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like rejecting your celebrity crush is actually a much better story (one of the comments in the story suggests this). Let's be honest - 20 minutes of sex with a celebrity probably isn't going to be great (they are going to expect you to do all the work because they are the famous one). Here, it would be worse because it isn't a real celebrity but a youtube celebrity. If you are asked by the celebrity to come back to their hotel and refuse? How bada** is that!

    Javel!
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Ches Yamada
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's basically a fan of someone, but has connotations of fans that are willing (and want) to sleep with the celebrity.

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    B Little
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m going to go against the grain here hard. She was honest and open with you consistently about the fact she would sleep with him if she could. You both said you had exceptions. Many people have many different types of relationships. You couldn’t be honest and say “hey you know there aren’t any exceptions?”Especially before she went to the concert where you knew it was possible this would happen. She TOLD YOU she would try to get with this guy. Now your all hurt she did. It’s about communication! You didn’t tell her no, you didn’t tell her it wasn’t ok, you didn’t even go to the concert to spend time with her and keep her occupied. You told her you had exceptions too. Me and my so don’t joke about exceptions bc there aren’t any. I’m sure this already shook out but seriously you owe her an apology for your s****y communication skills. I made an account to defend this woman.

    Willem Oosterhof
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could make that singer really famous breaking his legs.🤣🤣

    Stacey Rae
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That singer didn't have a committed relationship with op. With that said please don't break her legs.

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    fffab74
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What kind of idiot has an obsession and wants to sleep with a minor youtuber?

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A random dude on youtube with a few followers isn't really a celeb. Another poster made this point. Not like he's Dan Reynolds (imagine dragons), or some other actual current celeb. Anyone can post a music vid they made on youtube. To be ACTUALLY good and an ACTUAL celeb I think you need a few million followers and/or a record deal with a major label and/or in a major hollywood or bollywood blockbuster. PewdiePie does not count; Chris Hemsworth does. HeadshaveGirlbyFeedfit does not count, Priyanka Chopra does. Speaking personally, I'd dump anyone who did this with anyone. Celebs are just people anyway.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always told my girlfriend that when Claudia Schiffer would turn up at our door asking for me I would be gone. She took that risk in stride.

    John Topper
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I hate to support the "bad guy" but think about things from her perspective. Even if joking, she gave herself one exception in the whole world. Of everyone on earth to choose from, she went with this fantasy. For the married guys out there, who do you think is the hottest celebrity on earth? Any supermodel, or actor. Brianna Hildebrand? Rhianna? Beyonce? What if you had one chance in your life to sleep with them? For the women, what if you had one chance to sleep with Chris Hemsworth? Or The Rock? Or Ryan Reynolds? I think this post lost a lot in translation when she picked a fairly minor celebrity, but for her it was a life fantasy come true. Something most of us will never have the chance to experience and something few of us would say 'no' to if we're being perfectly honest. I would say give her a pass. This is someone who lives thousands of miles away and she will never see him again. It's a perfect example of "this is just sex, and nothing else". There is no need to end a healthy relationship over a misunderstanding (she did think you were serious about allowing her exception).

    CV Vir
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    She told him well in advance, and he didn’t take her seriously. That’s when the problem started, not the evening of the concert.

    Temporary Dork
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I sort of understand this monogamy thing - I don't want to share my partner either - but it seems every commenter thinks sleeping with someone else ONCE is a huge breach of contract or something? Almost as if you own your partner's body. It creeps me out.

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a breach of trust in a monogamous relationship. That’s what those words mean. Loyalty, not ownership. Viewing it as an ownership is a toxic mentality.

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