Guy Loves GF But Can’t Get Past Her Refusal To Accept That She Suffocated His Dog, Seeks Advice
Interview With ExpertThe beauty of having pets is that they turn into your family very quickly, but then, it can hurt like hell when they pass away. I remember how miserable I was when I lost my first dog, and found the whole cycle of life quite heartbreaking.
Reddit user Ok-Support-7335 is shattered after his girlfriend suffocated his dog with a 25-pound blanket, but she refuses to take responsibility for it and blames him for giving the dog gabapentin. Now he refuses to get back with her until she admits to it, but she just won’t budge!
More info: Reddit
The bond that we develop with our pets is so pure, and it’s heartbreaking when they pass away
Image credits: Helena Lopes / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster’s dog tweaked his back and got a 400 mg dose of gabapentin as he wasn’t supposed to move so his back could heal
Image credits: Ok-Support-7335
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s girlfriend put a 25 lb blanket on the 27 lb dog, and he was devastated to find that she suffocated him
Image credits: Ok-Support-7335
Image credits: Samson Katt / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After the dog passed away, the girlfriend refused to apologize or take responsibility and blamed the poster for dosing him with gabapentin
Image credits: Ok-Support-7335
He refused to get back with her until she takes responsibility, but she won’t budge, so he’s contemplating ending things
Today, we dive into the original poster’s (OP) world as he talks about the conflict he is stuck in with his girlfriend. It all started when his dog injured his back, so the vet gave him 400 mg of gabapentin, which is a heavy dose, so he wouldn’t move while his back healed. When OP was away, his girlfriend put a 25 lb blanket on the 27 lb dog, thinking it would comfort him.
However, when the poster came home, she informed him that his dog “looked strange”, and horrifyingly, that was because he had suffocated under the blanket and passed away! Now, instead of admitting what she had done wrong, she blamed OP for giving him gabapentin, and since the argument escalated, the couple broke up.
The thing is, they were in love, and after 18 months, they started talking again, but the poster refused to move forward until she took responsibility for her actions. Well, the woman just refuses to budge, for she still thinks it was the gabapentin. Now, our guy feels stonewalled as she says he’s going round in circles, so he is wondering whether to end things.
To get deeper insights about the couple’s situation, Bored Panda reached out to counselor Faizan Maniyar for an interview. He mentioned that it’s very common for individuals to rewrite or reinterpret events to avoid guilt, and it’s a defense mechanism known as cognitive dissonance reduction.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“When people do something that doesn’t align with their self-image (e.g., “I’m a good person” vs “I hurt someone”), they may reframe the situation (“It wasn’t that bad”), deny responsibility (“It wasn’t my fault”), or minimize the other person’s pain (“They’re overreacting”). This blocks accountability and emotional repair and keeps the harmed partner stuck, always seeking justice or clarity,” he added.
Our expert also stressed that stonewalling and deflection can be deeply invalidating for the person seeking acknowledgment. He believes that this can lead to emotional isolation, hypervigilance, lowered self-worth, or increased anxiety. Faizan explained that in counseling, this is often described as a form of emotional neglect, not because it’s always malicious, but because the impact can be just as damaging.
Speaking about the relationship, he commented that rebuilding intimacy can be psychologically damaging, especially if the harmed partner is continuously seeking validation, repair, or accountability that never comes. When someone you trust deeply refuses to acknowledge a betrayal or hurt, it creates a kind of emotional gaslighting, as your lived reality is being dismissed, Faizan added.
Lastly, he concluded, “Staying close to someone who refuses to acknowledge such a painful reality is like reopening a wound every day. The brain craves resolution, especially after trauma. But he’s getting gaslit instead—left to carry all the pain while she moves on like nothing happened.”
“Can this kind of relationship work? Only if the partner eventually owns the mistake, even partially. But based on the post, she’s doubling down on avoidance, and when someone does that, intimacy becomes impossible—because intimacy is built on truth, not pretending something never happened.”
Looks like ending things would be what’s best for them, doesn’t it? What would you do if you were in the poster’s shoes? Let us know in the comments!
Most folks online advised him to end things with her, as she simply refused to admit her mistake
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Cut ties. OP hasn't forgiven her, she isn't sorry. he doesn't trust her judgement and she doesn't think trusting the other's judgement is important in the relationship. Loving someone doesn't make you comfortable or make a relationship healthy. There's no reason to consider it wasted time, but that time is done. Move on.
I 100% agree with cutting ties, she's a danger to any pets and could honestly be to OP or herself in the future. However I do think she is sorry, I think OP was right on the money when he said that she was gaslighting herself into thinking it wasn't hear fault. She knows it was on her, but she feels so awful about it that she can't bring herself to admit or fully accept it. While it's understandable to feel that way, it shows that she's not ready to be in a serious relationship. Besides her meaning it or not doesn't really matter, the dog is dead, it's her fault. How could OP ever fully forgive her for that?
Load More Replies...you are not seriously considering getting back withe AH who killed your dog? i could never even look at her again - no matter if she "apolgises" or takes responsibility" - that will not bring the dog back, he is dead and she killed him
Better 5 wasted years than a lifetime of waking up every morning to someone you are disgusted by. Or never ever being able to leave your children alone with their own mother because she doesn't have the capacity to make informed judgements.
Sad and terrible situation all around I don’t think I could get over that either. There certainly would never be any trust regarding the care of any living things including any potential children so I think OP knows it’s over, but just has to convince himself. Lesson here don’t use heavy weighted blankets on pets…ever
Who in their right mind would put a weighted blanket on a fit and healthy dog never mind a poorly one?! If it didn't suffocate him then he would have almost certainly overheated. If that were me I would never be able to forgive her. Ever. Get her out of your life and keep her out of it for good.
Dude. She KILLED your freakin' dog! How could you possibly still want to be with her?
Why are you still in contact with this psychopath? SHE KILLED YOUR F*****G DOG, DUDE!!!
This will probably get buried and likely downvoted to all oblivion, but I have a slightly different view. Yes, the gf did k**l the 27 lb dog by putting a 25 lb folded weighted blanket on him and that is truly so sad and heartbreaking. OP says the dog was 9 when he died and had been on pain meds due to breaking his back 4+ years prior. OP also says that the dog couldn't move and suffered from chronic back pain, what kind of quality of life is that for the dog, especially since he has been living this way for almost half of his existence. The poor dog's life was taken in a tragic way and it's fûcked up that the gf won't apologize, especially if it was an accident/unintentional, at least I hope it was. Either way OP needs to cut ties with her all together.
I don't think you could forget this, ever! Part ways with her. she sounds selfish.
Won't go into details, but under unusual circumstances my husband left a gate open resulting in the death of our dog. He was so upset and apologetic and knowing how much it weighed on him I never criticized him. But I still harbor anger at his carelessness. Our relationship will survive, but there's no reason to think this will not always color his opinion of her.
Taking responsibilities for your actions (and making amends when you are able) is the very hallmark of adulthood. Can you imagine her supervising your children? Dump her.
That is animal abuse. I hope he pressed charges. Also, Phuc dat Bich.
If OP goes back to the (hopefully) ex-GF, he’s a dic k head. I was going to say that he deserves what he gets, but nobody deserves their pet dying because of some incompetent moron. Dump the b itch and move on. There are a lot of hot women out there that won’t ki ll your pets.
Run. Fast. OP should never be around this person again. She killed his dog! What might happen next? Disgusting behavior.
He should drop her, but I sure wish people would stop misusing the term "gaslighting". In what way was she trying to get him to question his perception of reality, make him think he was crazy?
He says the blanket killed the dog, she says, no, you are crazy, it was the medication. Not precisely gaslighting, but close enough for some people.
Load More Replies...To all who read this….You must have faith. There are greater forces at work than you can imagine. It will get better and each of your situations will improve whether it is what you intended to happen or not. I have my ex back this week and we are happy together, I highly recommend any one to or Email on: {drerohomeofgrace@gmail.com} for whatever problems you are experiencing whether is love, protection, money or psychic powers. He is the real and powerful...
IF she was responsible at all, it was an accident. A horrible, tragical one, but still an accident. It's quite a lot to demand of her to "admit that she killed the dog". That's a different thing. But yeah, OP can't forgive her, better end it here and now. Better for both for them. Poor doggie.
"That's a different thing"? No? The gf DID kíll the dog, she killed it, it doesn't matter if it was on purpose or not
Load More Replies...Cut ties. OP hasn't forgiven her, she isn't sorry. he doesn't trust her judgement and she doesn't think trusting the other's judgement is important in the relationship. Loving someone doesn't make you comfortable or make a relationship healthy. There's no reason to consider it wasted time, but that time is done. Move on.
I 100% agree with cutting ties, she's a danger to any pets and could honestly be to OP or herself in the future. However I do think she is sorry, I think OP was right on the money when he said that she was gaslighting herself into thinking it wasn't hear fault. She knows it was on her, but she feels so awful about it that she can't bring herself to admit or fully accept it. While it's understandable to feel that way, it shows that she's not ready to be in a serious relationship. Besides her meaning it or not doesn't really matter, the dog is dead, it's her fault. How could OP ever fully forgive her for that?
Load More Replies...you are not seriously considering getting back withe AH who killed your dog? i could never even look at her again - no matter if she "apolgises" or takes responsibility" - that will not bring the dog back, he is dead and she killed him
Better 5 wasted years than a lifetime of waking up every morning to someone you are disgusted by. Or never ever being able to leave your children alone with their own mother because she doesn't have the capacity to make informed judgements.
Sad and terrible situation all around I don’t think I could get over that either. There certainly would never be any trust regarding the care of any living things including any potential children so I think OP knows it’s over, but just has to convince himself. Lesson here don’t use heavy weighted blankets on pets…ever
Who in their right mind would put a weighted blanket on a fit and healthy dog never mind a poorly one?! If it didn't suffocate him then he would have almost certainly overheated. If that were me I would never be able to forgive her. Ever. Get her out of your life and keep her out of it for good.
Dude. She KILLED your freakin' dog! How could you possibly still want to be with her?
Why are you still in contact with this psychopath? SHE KILLED YOUR F*****G DOG, DUDE!!!
This will probably get buried and likely downvoted to all oblivion, but I have a slightly different view. Yes, the gf did k**l the 27 lb dog by putting a 25 lb folded weighted blanket on him and that is truly so sad and heartbreaking. OP says the dog was 9 when he died and had been on pain meds due to breaking his back 4+ years prior. OP also says that the dog couldn't move and suffered from chronic back pain, what kind of quality of life is that for the dog, especially since he has been living this way for almost half of his existence. The poor dog's life was taken in a tragic way and it's fûcked up that the gf won't apologize, especially if it was an accident/unintentional, at least I hope it was. Either way OP needs to cut ties with her all together.
I don't think you could forget this, ever! Part ways with her. she sounds selfish.
Won't go into details, but under unusual circumstances my husband left a gate open resulting in the death of our dog. He was so upset and apologetic and knowing how much it weighed on him I never criticized him. But I still harbor anger at his carelessness. Our relationship will survive, but there's no reason to think this will not always color his opinion of her.
Taking responsibilities for your actions (and making amends when you are able) is the very hallmark of adulthood. Can you imagine her supervising your children? Dump her.
That is animal abuse. I hope he pressed charges. Also, Phuc dat Bich.
If OP goes back to the (hopefully) ex-GF, he’s a dic k head. I was going to say that he deserves what he gets, but nobody deserves their pet dying because of some incompetent moron. Dump the b itch and move on. There are a lot of hot women out there that won’t ki ll your pets.
Run. Fast. OP should never be around this person again. She killed his dog! What might happen next? Disgusting behavior.
He should drop her, but I sure wish people would stop misusing the term "gaslighting". In what way was she trying to get him to question his perception of reality, make him think he was crazy?
He says the blanket killed the dog, she says, no, you are crazy, it was the medication. Not precisely gaslighting, but close enough for some people.
Load More Replies...To all who read this….You must have faith. There are greater forces at work than you can imagine. It will get better and each of your situations will improve whether it is what you intended to happen or not. I have my ex back this week and we are happy together, I highly recommend any one to or Email on: {drerohomeofgrace@gmail.com} for whatever problems you are experiencing whether is love, protection, money or psychic powers. He is the real and powerful...
IF she was responsible at all, it was an accident. A horrible, tragical one, but still an accident. It's quite a lot to demand of her to "admit that she killed the dog". That's a different thing. But yeah, OP can't forgive her, better end it here and now. Better for both for them. Poor doggie.
"That's a different thing"? No? The gf DID kíll the dog, she killed it, it doesn't matter if it was on purpose or not
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