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Guy Can’t Believe GF Won’t Abandon Her Dreams To Be With Him, Whines Even A Year After The Breakup
Man in blue suit holding engagement ring proposing to woman with long blonde hair, focusing on Juilliard dreams conflict.

Guy Can’t Believe GF Won’t Abandon Her Dreams To Be With Him, Whines Even A Year After The Breakup

41

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When two people really love each other, they might do whatever it takes to stay together and solve any problems that could affect their relationship. Unfortunately, even such well-meaning intentions can take a turn if it means one partner isn’t allowed to follow their dreams.

This is what a woman faced when her boyfriend of eight years expected her to give up her place at Juilliard in order to stay with him. The man even went so far as to propose to her to keep her from leaving, but he only ended up with a broken heart.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Every person should want to see their loved ones progress and grow, even if it means a few compromises would have to be made 

    Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster explained that he had been dating his girlfriend for 8 years and that she suddenly got into Juilliard, which meant that she’d have to move to New York

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    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    The girlfriend asked him to go with her, but he didn’t want to move away from his family or job, so he decided to propose to get her to stay

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    Image credits: Ahmet Kurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Unfortunately, the man’s plan backfired, and his girlfriend said no, which led to their relationship ending and him being heartbroken

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    Image credits: 

    He also shared an update almost a year and a half later about how his ex had moved on, but he couldn’t seem to get over the heartbreak

    It definitely seems like the poster truly loved his girlfriend and cherished the eight years they had spent together, because when he realized she wanted to go to Juillard, he hoped she wouldn’t get in. Unfortunately for him, she got accepted into the school and was set to leave for New York in three weeks.

    It might seem selfish for the boyfriend to hope his partner never moves away or follows her dreams, but experts state that it could actually be because of insecurity. Very often, a person’s own fears and anxieties about their relationship and self-worth come into play when their loved one is moving ahead, and it can lead to conflicts like this.

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    The woman might have sensed the OP’s reluctance to let her go, so she suggested that he move with her to New York and find a job there. The problem is that he didn’t want to give up his entire life and follow her, but he expected her to push her dreams aside so that he could be happy, which is why he proposed.

    According to studies, the issue with rash proposals like this is that they’re often a last-ditch effort to save the relationship and don’t tend to come at the right time. They don’t always work out and might expose the miscommunication happening between both partners, which, in many cases, can even lead to a breakup.

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The OP’s effort to prevent his girlfriend from moving fell flat once she rejected his proposal, and so they decided to end their relationship. He didn’t deal with the situation well and found it very tough to go through such heartbreak, plus his brief stints with dating didn’t seem to go smoothly either.

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    That’s why many mental health professionals state that people need to find an outlet for their emotions if they are going through a breakup. Whether it means they reach out to their friends or loved ones for support or seek professional support, it will help them deal with their overwhelming emotions rather than keeping things bottled up.

    The poster clearly hadn’t done any of that, which is why he was still feeling hurt a year and a half after his relationship had ended. He also came across a picture of his ex with her new boyfriend, which made him feel bad since he still had the proposal ring that he had been going to give her.

    It’s not easy to see someone you love move on or leave you behind, but these moments are often necessary for learning and growth to happen. Hopefully, the man is able to deal with his painful feelings and learns that progress is actually a healthy part of all relationships.

    What are your thoughts on this story, and what advice do you have for the heartbroken man? Do share your opinions down below.

    Most people gave the poster a reality check and felt that he was selfish for standing in the way of his ex-girlfriend’s dreams

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows

    What do you think ?
    tw 72
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me translate the article for you: Me me me meeeeee my life meee. **baby crying** Me my stuff my life meeeee meee. **sniffle** Only MY life matters. Me me me.

    Felice Coles
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great translation! Let me add girlfriend's: "No."

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's ex-girlfriend dodged a bullet and he was very selfish, wanting her to give up her *dream* of going to Julliard, just to stay with him. Sorry, dude, no sympathy for you. Grow up and get your own life.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next was going to be give up her career for children

    Load More Replies...
    Dirk Daring
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The selfishness from OP is STAGGERING. ["My girlfriend is the love of my life."] But #1 I never thought she would get in. #2 I don't want her to go. #3 MY entire life is here. #4 I have only been at MY company for a year. I can't just leave MY job. #5 She could find another field or career / get a different degree and do something else. #6 *repeated* I don't want her to go (to JULIARD)

    Suzie
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He wanted her to give up everything while he gave up nothing. A year and a half later he's still crying about how unfair it is. smh

    GlitterPanda
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "She chose Julliard over me"....and you chose staying in your home town over her.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What, he wanted her to sacrifice a scholarship to Julliard, and following her dreams, just for some guy who couldn't put her above his entry-level HR job and living in his home town. Should have gone with her to NY, and cheered her on.

    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I moved to London for a girl. It turned into a disaster but I don't regret trying.

    Load More Replies...
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He didn’t choose her either. She made the right decision and is living her best life.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So glad she got away. He never "loved" her. He loved what she did for him. He didn't care about her dreams or her happiness. Only his own. He's obviously still not ready for an adult relationship. He sounds like a whiny narcissist.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Proverbial bullet dodged. What a loser. Even after a year he doesn't understand how he tried to crush her dreams just because he didn't want to move away from faaaamily and a boring job

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Entry-level job he can't give up because she has a chance at Juilliard? Pass.

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you're young, that's the time to explore new places and try new things. He wants to stay in the same home town where he grew up with the same old friends. Nothing new at 23. So sad. Then, he has to try to force his girlfriend to the same fate, expecting her to give up everything for him when he gives up nothing for her. This guy so isn't ready for marriage.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    20 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s my dad. He’ll be 94 next month and has never been ANYWHERE. (“Why would I wanna go anywhere? What’s to see? I’ve got everything I need right here.”) Has no friends (no one can stand him), no pets, no family left aside his three daughters who all moved far away from him, and has NO intellectual curiosity about the world or anything in it. SMDH. I’ve never understood those people. This amazing girl somehow saddled herself with one but had the force of character to leave him when she saw what he was. Now she’s thriving, and he’s still stuck in Nowheresville, USA, in his dull job pining for her. Man, some people can make their lives HARD, can’t they?

    Load More Replies...
    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excuse me whilst I play the world's smallest violin. Enjoy being alone forever, you selfish p***k. Hope so badly that your ex sees this and realises what a huge bullet she dodged.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP has zerio self awareness. He chose to stay where they grew up, he chose to stay near family. She chose to expand her horizons, chase a supposedly unachievable dream and find new experiences. They had different ambitions and dreams. That's on both of them... not just her.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a selfish loser. She dodged a bullet!

    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude, get over it.

    azubi
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else feeling the urge to add some physical pain to his suffering?

    J R
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So...he's angry with her for not giving up on her dreams for him, even though he wasn't willing to move careers for her? He sounds self-centered. Not because he was disappointed in the relationship ending but because he seems to think she was wrong to want something out of life that was different than what he wanted. Sometimes one person makes a decision that requires a move and the other partner doesn't want to go. I get that. Nah in that situation. They just want different things. But to b***h and whine about how the other person should have changed their plans for him when he wasn't willing to do the same for her? He's ta.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    20 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And he wanted her to choose a different CAREER! Because his is sooo great! What a very small man he is. (I meant “boy,” but felt too mean typing it, so left it, but I absolutely mean “boy.”)

    Load More Replies...
    Randomosity
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for her. She deserves better than someone who can't complete a sentence without using "me" or "my" or incoherent puppy whines.

    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor guy. Woman did the right thing but his pain just bleeds through. Hope he's able to right himself and hope she has an amazing time at Julliard (Used to think it was "Julie Art"! when I was a teen - they make art and maybe it was founded by a lovely lady named Julie!).

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor guy? His pain is entirely self-inflicted.

    Load More Replies...
    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    16 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Op you’re a vile pos !! And you chose your dreary town n dreary job OVER HER !, not her choose the most prestigious dance school in the world ,next to Paris !, ur selfish controlling , n god help any woman stupid enough to marry you YTA LOSER , oh there’s been a period drama series on itv recently , called the Forsytes n one of the stuck up entitled pricks coercive with it , stops his new wife’s dream to go to Paris as she’s a highly talented ballet dancer , n he’s stomped all over that , JUST LIKE U OP TRIED TO DO !, except we ain’t in 1800,s anymore , and she is allowed to follow her dreams , cos I can tell you now m , she would have hated you as yrs went on if she,d stayed cos u forced her to MAN UP DUDE n learn humanity!, u do NOT CONTROL people end off cry baby !

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    15 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Julliard is not exclusively a dance school. Music and drama also feature strongly especially music.

    Load More Replies...
    Wendy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She dodged a bullet - good move

    Michael MacKinnon
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a pretty obvious bottom line: if you love someone, you support them in achieving their dreams. If you can't do that, you're only in love with yourself.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me translate the article for you: Me me me meeeeee my life meee. **baby crying** Me my stuff my life meeeee meee. **sniffle** Only MY life matters. Me me me.

    Felice Coles
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great translation! Let me add girlfriend's: "No."

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's ex-girlfriend dodged a bullet and he was very selfish, wanting her to give up her *dream* of going to Julliard, just to stay with him. Sorry, dude, no sympathy for you. Grow up and get your own life.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next was going to be give up her career for children

    Load More Replies...
    Dirk Daring
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The selfishness from OP is STAGGERING. ["My girlfriend is the love of my life."] But #1 I never thought she would get in. #2 I don't want her to go. #3 MY entire life is here. #4 I have only been at MY company for a year. I can't just leave MY job. #5 She could find another field or career / get a different degree and do something else. #6 *repeated* I don't want her to go (to JULIARD)

    Suzie
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He wanted her to give up everything while he gave up nothing. A year and a half later he's still crying about how unfair it is. smh

    GlitterPanda
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "She chose Julliard over me"....and you chose staying in your home town over her.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What, he wanted her to sacrifice a scholarship to Julliard, and following her dreams, just for some guy who couldn't put her above his entry-level HR job and living in his home town. Should have gone with her to NY, and cheered her on.

    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I moved to London for a girl. It turned into a disaster but I don't regret trying.

    Load More Replies...
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He didn’t choose her either. She made the right decision and is living her best life.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So glad she got away. He never "loved" her. He loved what she did for him. He didn't care about her dreams or her happiness. Only his own. He's obviously still not ready for an adult relationship. He sounds like a whiny narcissist.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Proverbial bullet dodged. What a loser. Even after a year he doesn't understand how he tried to crush her dreams just because he didn't want to move away from faaaamily and a boring job

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Entry-level job he can't give up because she has a chance at Juilliard? Pass.

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you're young, that's the time to explore new places and try new things. He wants to stay in the same home town where he grew up with the same old friends. Nothing new at 23. So sad. Then, he has to try to force his girlfriend to the same fate, expecting her to give up everything for him when he gives up nothing for her. This guy so isn't ready for marriage.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    20 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s my dad. He’ll be 94 next month and has never been ANYWHERE. (“Why would I wanna go anywhere? What’s to see? I’ve got everything I need right here.”) Has no friends (no one can stand him), no pets, no family left aside his three daughters who all moved far away from him, and has NO intellectual curiosity about the world or anything in it. SMDH. I’ve never understood those people. This amazing girl somehow saddled herself with one but had the force of character to leave him when she saw what he was. Now she’s thriving, and he’s still stuck in Nowheresville, USA, in his dull job pining for her. Man, some people can make their lives HARD, can’t they?

    Load More Replies...
    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excuse me whilst I play the world's smallest violin. Enjoy being alone forever, you selfish p***k. Hope so badly that your ex sees this and realises what a huge bullet she dodged.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    4 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP has zerio self awareness. He chose to stay where they grew up, he chose to stay near family. She chose to expand her horizons, chase a supposedly unachievable dream and find new experiences. They had different ambitions and dreams. That's on both of them... not just her.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a selfish loser. She dodged a bullet!

    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude, get over it.

    azubi
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else feeling the urge to add some physical pain to his suffering?

    J R
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So...he's angry with her for not giving up on her dreams for him, even though he wasn't willing to move careers for her? He sounds self-centered. Not because he was disappointed in the relationship ending but because he seems to think she was wrong to want something out of life that was different than what he wanted. Sometimes one person makes a decision that requires a move and the other partner doesn't want to go. I get that. Nah in that situation. They just want different things. But to b***h and whine about how the other person should have changed their plans for him when he wasn't willing to do the same for her? He's ta.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    20 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And he wanted her to choose a different CAREER! Because his is sooo great! What a very small man he is. (I meant “boy,” but felt too mean typing it, so left it, but I absolutely mean “boy.”)

    Load More Replies...
    Randomosity
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for her. She deserves better than someone who can't complete a sentence without using "me" or "my" or incoherent puppy whines.

    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor guy. Woman did the right thing but his pain just bleeds through. Hope he's able to right himself and hope she has an amazing time at Julliard (Used to think it was "Julie Art"! when I was a teen - they make art and maybe it was founded by a lovely lady named Julie!).

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor guy? His pain is entirely self-inflicted.

    Load More Replies...
    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    16 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Op you’re a vile pos !! And you chose your dreary town n dreary job OVER HER !, not her choose the most prestigious dance school in the world ,next to Paris !, ur selfish controlling , n god help any woman stupid enough to marry you YTA LOSER , oh there’s been a period drama series on itv recently , called the Forsytes n one of the stuck up entitled pricks coercive with it , stops his new wife’s dream to go to Paris as she’s a highly talented ballet dancer , n he’s stomped all over that , JUST LIKE U OP TRIED TO DO !, except we ain’t in 1800,s anymore , and she is allowed to follow her dreams , cos I can tell you now m , she would have hated you as yrs went on if she,d stayed cos u forced her to MAN UP DUDE n learn humanity!, u do NOT CONTROL people end off cry baby !

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    15 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Julliard is not exclusively a dance school. Music and drama also feature strongly especially music.

    Load More Replies...
    Wendy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She dodged a bullet - good move

    Michael MacKinnon
    Community Member
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a pretty obvious bottom line: if you love someone, you support them in achieving their dreams. If you can't do that, you're only in love with yourself.

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