50 ‘Mental UK Headlines’ That Are 100% British

That's just how I dance!

But as some passerby have said, he might have been hit by a school bus , which fell into a pit of fire at the sacrificial lands. so in the end, Lugeas got his cremation.

Now let’s go to his diary. In it he wrote that he would like to try booze, it’s safe to say that he checked it off his bucket list. Let’s check his will hoping that nobody in the family will die in a fight after what I read out.

his will consists of, and i quote, “ the crap i left for gully and seamore” he also states that he was dating seamore, and his wife divorced him, so he wanted to drunk the pain away. now he’ll never feel again. back to you, Chinmayee

* fighting ensues among his family, resulting in another death*

*more funeral addresses get read*

The stuff he left was a rare vintage thingy, 200 bottles of booze, plastic and the bus that hit him. All of that goes to gully and seamore. It was originally stated that everybody gets an inheritance of 60,000 seagull currency but it was revealed to be made of solely plastic and nobody would be able to handle that much. Regarding his wife, he left her a bottle of booze and a dead piece of roadkill to remind her about how highly he thought of her. Back to you alexotl

thank you Chinmayee. today weather will be rainy at 5, and come back at 6 to find out whether seamore was actually lovers with lugeas

Welcome to the 6 o’clock show. Today’s episode is, drumroll please : Lugeas’ love life. As per Alexotl’s claims he was a Swesish seagull who moved to the UK. Seamore was a former billionare who earned his revenue by pooping on cars. Lugeas had a wife named Wife but no children. Lugeas met Seamore when they started tasting booze. Most historians said that they were friends who kept saying “we are in love in a not straight way”. I am sure they are friends. Back to you Alexotl

thank you, chinmayee. now, we move onto another thing: did lugeas get pushed off the roof? more at 8

Welcome to the 8 o’clock show. Today’s episode will be hosted by me and alexotl. We have interrogated the birds present during the accident. I will give accounts of only 2 seagulls, alexotl will tell the rest. First: Gully, gully was a friend of Lugeas and was present during the incident. He believes that Lugeas fell off on his own. We interviewed the nest seagull present, Wife. Wife said and I quote “I totally did not come there under disguise and totally had not planned this for many months. I also did not push him off by kicking him”. Now alexotl will share the rest of the interviews

I would definitely go see the Badass Squirrels in concert.