There are a ton of reasons why we love the United Kingdom—from its gorgeous nature and culture to its wide-ranging cuisine and renowned literature. But something that keeps us coming back is our love for the British press with all of its ups, downs, and unique quirks. There’s honestly hardly anything better than making a big cup of tea and opening up the serious Sunday papers or going for a cheeky scroll through the digital tabloids. It’s entertaining. It’s fun. It’s off the hook!

Now that’s where the ‘Mental UK Headlines’ Twitter page comes in. A social media project that unites nearly 100k followers, the account features some of the funniest, most bizarre, and downright ludicrous news stories and headlines found in the British press. Both in the tabloids and in the more serious (digital) papers. And today we’re featuring some of their very best finds to bring a smile to your face. Just because the press isn't yellow doesn't mean it's not immune to some truly bizarre headlines.

Go on, grab yourself some biscuits and enjoy a good laugh. Don’t forget to upvote the pics that you enjoyed the most, send a few your friends’ way, and if you really love what you’re seeing, give ‘Mental UK Headlines’ a follow for some more top-tier humor.

Bored Panda got in touch with author, comedy writer, journalist, and all-around talented creative Ariane Sherine from the UK. We had a chat about tabloids, catchy headlines, and why the Brits love the sensationalist press so much. Read on for our full interview with her!

#1

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Nkotanyi
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess detention would have been enough. So much sadness and depression being separated from your favorite seatmate in class.

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Journalist and comedy expert Ariane, from London, shared her thoughts about the tabloids (or the ‘red tops’ as the Brits call them) with Bored Panda.

“I think the British press, particularly the sensationalist yellow press uses a lot more wordplay, humor, and puns in headlines—and also employs shock to grab the reader,” Ariane told us.

“You’ve also got our tabloid the Daily Sport, which I wouldn’t even class as a newspaper as it’s mostly made up for entertainment and titillation!”

RELATED:
    #2

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    Troux
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.

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    #3

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    Rachknits
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'One was so drunk it fell off the roof' hahaha

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    We were curious to get Ariane’s take on why the British enjoy tabloids so much, whether it’s all for the sake of being entertained or if they actually believe the biased news printed there.

    “I definitely think people read the Sport purely for cheeky entertainment and to look at scantily clad women, as it’s only meant for that,” the journalism expert told us.

    “But a lot of people get all their news from the Sun or Star, which is a bit worrying. They definitely believe everything they read in those papers—and they shouldn’t!” she warned.

    #4

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    Funhog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahh.. the golden gull.

    Withered Warrior
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you s**t on 1,000,000 cars and unlock the golden skin

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    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Harry Potter and the Order of the Curried Seagull, doesn't quite have the same ring to it. 🤔

    N G
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also ordered a side dish of saag aloo

    Se Mai
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s a shiny Pokémon

    Lee Kerr
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw the original news report; it got inside an empty industrial sized drum of curry powder (not sure why but but probably involved food🙄🙄🙄) and got itself covered in the remains of the powder attempting to get out.

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    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know the British have a weird cuisine, but wow!

    Jon S.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The gull had been eating scraps out of the bin of an Indian takeaway. When people saw it they thought it was an exotic bird in distress and went to rescue it.

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    Redpanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does anyone play pokemon? If so shiny cramorant was (probably) inspired by this

    Amy Doyle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They probably felt so stupid. 😂😢 How does q seagull get that covered in curry anyone. It was probably irritating the poor thing.

    Benita Valdez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed too much at this and comments

    TyrantrumGogoat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where's he find such a big supply of curry? Such a cute bird!

    Bored something
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He had to have a curry to go with the beer.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should have waited to see if it laid a golden egg!

    Pascale Pierloot
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    However, tey did give her a name...Edwina.

    GramDB
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That could burn the birds skin!

    Max Hogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, bird can't help if he likes a bit of spice with his fish heads.

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be honest at least you can see why! We get some amazing unusual birds visit the UK getting blown off course, you're not going to expect to find one dyed yellow from curry 🤣🤣

    KimB
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He will carry that smell for the rest of his life

    buttonpusher
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look at the defiance on it's face.

    Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder if it washed it down with some leftover booze

    Betsy Novack
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And here I thought it was the new spokesgull for Cheetos.

    Brian Geppert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what you get when you give a paralyzed man three wishes!

    Cath Homer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the best thing I've seen in quite some time...

    David Brown
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You may have gotten high but not cover a live seagull in curry powder high.

    Apachebathmat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohhh the lesser spotted pashwari-naan gull, we get those all over Birmingham

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell me again how it's just the US....And who the f*ck did that to the bird?

    Christina B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice to see everyone in the comments above love curry as much as I do :)

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This would make a nice set with the white cat covered in turmeric and the white dog who had been dyed golden from getting turmeric baths.

    Asher Tye
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thought they were gonna get a reward from Dumbledore for returning his pet.

    Catarina
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And She was probably eating basmati Rice 🤭

    Shaista Afridi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    gulab jamun isn't a curry, it's an asian sweet

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    James016
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Beer, curry and Tool’s music. Not a bad way to re start life

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    Meanwhile, when it comes to writing striking headlines, Ariane said that a lot depends on the topic in question. If you care about the issues on a personal level, you’re already more likely to read the story.

    She shared some of the things that journalists ought to look at when writing headlines: “What’s the human interest angle? What would grab my attention? You have to distill the story into its essence in one sentence. What makes it entertaining?”

    #7

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    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, but is this a Colin or Wiggles cake? Coz that looks like Wiggles (from Sainsbury's), because otherwise this wouldn't just be a pothole, it'd be an M&S pothole.

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    #8

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    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Piglet tried to dispose of the body?

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    #9

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cougar rather than Leopard I reckon.

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    The ‘Mental UK Headlines’ project is fairly fresh. The account was started up on Twitter almost exactly a year ago, in April 2021. In that time, they’ve gotten the love and attention of 98.2k followers.

    The account shows us a few things. First of all, how much a good headline can boost our mood for the next few hours (who doesn’t love a hearty chuckle?). Secondly, there are some truly weird events going on in the world. And lastly, the British yellow press is willing to write about pretty much anything and everything for the sake of a ‘story.’ Whether that restores or destroys your faith in humanity depends on your perspective.

    #10

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    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...I believe this...

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    #11

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    Nkotanyi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he hasn't hit anyone, just give him an official driving license. He proved he deserves it.

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    During a previous interview, London-based comedy writer Ariane told Bored Panda that humor plays a huge role in British culture. 

    “I think it is inherently witty and quirky but coupled with a huge dose of irony and self-consciousness,” she shared her thoughts about British wit with us.

    #14

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How many birthdays does this pothole have?

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    “[British humor is] sarcastic, petty, ridiculous, embarrassed, self-conscious, and underpinned with the knowledge and awareness of how silly Brits are,” the comedy expert explained to Bored Panda how we can define this unique sense of humor.

    #17

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could be worse. They could have been watching Eastenders. Now get out my pub you slaaaaag!

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    #18

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    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They've not posted this one well, but basically, someone threatened to call social services because of her eyebrows.

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    “When people think of us, they think of the Royal Family, iconic images like London buses and phone boxes, afternoon tea, period dramas, and posh people—like Hugh Grant in Richard Curtis films!” Ariane said how the world tends to think of the British.

    #19

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    Ashley Hall
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Som many people are left "crying and shaking", traumatized, or "devastated" these days.

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    #20

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    #21

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    Skara Brae
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She'd be a lot more recognizable if both eyes were on the same side of her nose.

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    “They see us as charming and antiquated and think we're adorable. Spoiler: we're not really like this! Which they'll find out if they ever visit Britain, but I guess most people never do, so we remain cute and posh in their imaginations,” the comedy writer quipped.

    #22

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    N G
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How's a girl supposed to chop wood these days

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    #23

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    #24

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    Michelle M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the 2022 Darwin awards goes to...

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    Meanwhile, Lisa McLendon, the William Allen White Professor of Journalism and Mass Communications and the coordinator of the Bremner Editing Center at the University of Kansas, was kind enough to share her insights about text and how to leave an immediate impact on the audience with us during an earlier interview.

    The professor said that when you have to make an immediate impression on someone, like with a sign, it’s best to focus on clarity and brevity. That’s especially important in our world where there’s a seemingly endless stream of information and shortening attention spans.

    #25

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Peppa Pig to appear in the next series of Hannibal.

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    #26

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    James016
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The next word out of the baby was “innit”

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    #27

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    Kesam
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then they all clapped. No, they didn't.

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    "Clarity and brevity are essential. You only have a second or two to get your message across, so you want people to understand quickly with zero confusion," she told Bored Panda.

    What’s more, journalism and editing expert Lisa stressed the necessity to proofread all of your work. And then getting someone else to proofread it again. It’s especially useful when you’re using text in ways that can’t be easily and cheaply edited later (like it would be online).

    #28

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    Tigerpacingthecage
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, we all make mistakes - sure, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Saying "everyone does it" isn't really taking responsibility.

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    #29

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    -"What is the purpose of your visit?" - "Well actually I'm a terrorist and I will be performing terrorist acts throughout the country" - "OK sir, enjoy your stay"

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    She also stressed that it’s important to choose the right font, with the audience in mind. It should be clear. It should be readable. It shouldn’t have your readers second-guessing what they’re looking at.

    #31

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    #32

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    #34

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TWO YEARS???? That must be bull s**t.

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    #36

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    Friday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s all part of the experience really..

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    #37

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    Who Panda 420
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw this apparently it was found safely outside in a hedge. Apparently the staff were very worried about it as nature abhors a vacuum. 😂

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    #38

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    Liz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The couple in the photo seem awfully cheery about it

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    #39

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    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did he order the seagull covered with curry?

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    #41

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    Phill Healey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't this just about the Youtuber Colin Furze?

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    #42

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    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was he late for an eye test at Barnard Castle?

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    #43

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    Liz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw an entire box of Voodoo Doughnuts face down the other day…doughnut guts spilled everywhere…f*****g tragedy

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    #45

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A park? You have a park? In our day all we had was a grass verge to play on and we were thankful of that!

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    #46

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    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It should be mentioned that this little girl has Autism and struggles a lot with selective eating, which in some cases can be so severe that they would rather starve than eat something that isn't familiar or suitable for their selective tastes/texture etc.

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    #48

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    River Webb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ngl having to pay 54 pounds for fish and chips is pretty traumatising

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    #49

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    Scagsy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard that she's also against photos in horizontal mode.

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    #51

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    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well apparently if you hold them in you may end up in hospital

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    #52

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    Who Panda 420
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh dear, those edibles sneak up on you. Got one cookie for my friend. Recommend she eat a quarter. She had the whole cookie cause she couldn't feel it then spent the whole next day high. She didn't make that mistake again.

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    #53

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    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They did a study proving that most people in fact cannot tell the difference between pate and dog food if the latter is sufficiently puréed. Edit: "most" in this case was 5 in 6 people of over a hundred.

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    #56

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    Who Panda 420
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just sick. There is a special place in hell for scammers. Not that I believe in hell but there should be.

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    #57

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should have got Bodger and Badger on the case

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    #58

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    indiecognition
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    According to eyewitness reports, the wheels on the bus went round and round

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    #59

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That night the binman was cornered in the street and beaten up. The assailants were heard singing 'Walking in the air' described as large white men wearing hats and scarves.

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    #60

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "..but mice make me feel huge and lions make me crap my undies.'

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    #62

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    jammer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was ”only messing” only after getting caught.

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    #63

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad to see Nick Fury is on the case. Which Avengers will he send?

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    #66

    Two Irishmen Walk Into A Post Office . . .

    source Report

    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://metro.co.uk/2022/01/22/ireland-two-men-took-corpse-into-post-office-to-try-and-claim-pension-15965239/

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    #67

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    K- THULU
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What did the goblins do to deserve that?

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    #68

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    #69

    Exploding Tea Towels!!!

    www.theargus.co.uk Report

    Redpanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH NO RESTAURANTS ARE SETTING OFF TEA TOWEL BOMBS!!!

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    #70

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was just a horrific story. Not funny.

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