If we were to single out one thing for which we, people, should be praised, it would be befriending dogs. It has been many centuries since dogs became our best friends and helpers, and we still can’t believe our luck. So to express our gratitude and love for them, we often come up with heartfelt, witty, and funny dog quotes, as well as dog jokes and dog puns.
Some of the quotes about dogs are there just for fun, while others give us a lot to think about. The more we read about dogs, the more we grow to admire their loyalty and incredible intelligence, so naturally, it shows in the things we have to say about them.
This post may include affiliate links.
“I don’t care who dies in the movie, as long as the dog lives.”
“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” — Samuel Butler
Where can I find interesting sayings about dogs?
Many prominent figures have talked about dogs in the past. Some were amused by the shenanigans of their own pets, and some contemplated the relationship we developed with the canines.
But as we also wonder what dogs might have to say about this whole “living with humans” thing, we often like to create scenarios that might take place if only dogs could speak. These funny dog quotes are always a treat to read, and there is an entire Twitter account dedicated to the thoughts of a dog.
“If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.”
As much as this hurts to say, it's true for me. Although....my senior girl is losing weight because she's very particular these days about what she'll eat and she's just not as mobile as she used to be, due to arthritis.
“Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take… I’ll be watching you.”
Where can I use dog quotes?
If you share your house with a pupper, I can confidently say that your phone is full of cute dog pics. Of course, you want to share them with the world (as you should). But then you start thinking about what caption you should write under the pic. This is where funny dog quotes will come in very handy.
If you want to get your doggo noticed on Instagram, endearing and funny dog pics are necessary, but so are great captions. Funny dog quotes that match the photo would definitely boost your chances to show off your little floof to the entire world.
In this article, we’ve collected some of the most creative and funniest quotes ever that precisely sum up what it is like to have a dog in your life. Vote for your most favorite ones, and don’t forget to share them with someone who appreciates a four-pawed friend in their life.
“Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.”
“What I like most about people is their dogs.”
“Without my dog, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty.”
“The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them.” ― Stanley Coren
“When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” — Kristan Higgins
Becuz atm the only thing your feeling rn is the loss of feeling to your legs
“If the kindest souls were rewarded with the longest lives, dogs would outlive us all.”
“If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.”
“If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.” — Woodrow Wilson
“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” — Anne Tyler
“If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
“No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” — Louis Sabin
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
“Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.”
“I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!’” — Jonah Goldberg
Well fair enough. "Eew, someone didn't pick up their dog's poo." Edit for autocorrect.
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” — Phil Pastoret
“The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.” — M. K. Clinton
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted.” — Sian Ford
“A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” — Helen Thomson
“You can trust your dog to guard your house, but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.” ― Lani Lynn Vale, Another One Bites the Dust
“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” — Rita Rudner
“The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.”
“Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” — Orhan Pamuk
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” — Max Eastman
I don't entirely agree with this one. I was trying to take a photo by crouching down. I overbalanced and sat in a puddle. Don't tell me she wasn't laughing at me! laughing-H...5d1752.jpg 
“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.” ― Mark Twain
“Dogs over dudes.”
“Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one.” ― Robert Benchley
“Dogs are my favorite people.” — Richard Dean Anderson
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.” — Roger Caras
“The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.”
― Samuel Butler
“We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.” ― Judy H. Wright
“Life without a dog is like an unsharpened pencil. It has no point.”
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.” — Orlando Aloysius Battista
I don't have my own dog, but getting to see other people walk their dogs is good motivation to walk for me.
“Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.”
I tend to adopt any cat that comes and asks for a home. One of them just so happened to be a dog (and she loves her hissy sisters and brother)!
“Leave me alone – I’m only speaking to dogs today.”
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” — Charles De Gaulle
“I’ve seen a look in dogs eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” — John Steinbeck
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.” — Steve Bluestone
“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.” — Christopher Morley
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” — Dave Barry
“People teach their dog to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.” — Mitch Hedberg
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” — Sue Murphy
“I don’t always bark at night. But when I do, it’s for no reason.”
Mine barks in her sleep, wakes herself up, then realizes something woke her up and she should probably bark at it. She's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but she's great at being a sweetheart.
“Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” ― George Eliot, Mr Gilfil’s Love Story
No, no... my dog definitely judges me. Usually when I'm eating pizza.
“My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!” — Greg Curtis
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.” — Fran Lebowitz
“A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
― Josh Billings
“Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object relations.” ― Sigmund Freud
“If I had a pound for every time my dog made me smile… I’d be a Millionaire.” — Steph Harris
“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?”
“I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” — Bonnie Schacter
“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.” — John Grogan
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.” — John Grogan
“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” — Edward Hoagland
“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” — Dereke Bruce
Dog: you feed me, play with me, and love me. You must be god Cat: you feed me, play with me, and love me. I must be god
“A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.”
“A dog can snap you out of any kind of bad mood that you’re in faster than you can think of.” — Jill Abramson
“Why does watching a dog be a dog fill one with happiness?” — Jonathan Safran Foer
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” — Joe Weinstein
“My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” — Elayne Boosler
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother and they will settle for a puppy every time.”
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.” — Terry Pratchett
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” — Ann Landers
