Our pets are always there for us and around us, so if dogs could talk, they most certainly would have something interesting to share with us. After all, they sit there silently, listening to us talk, gathering information. We’ve had a glimpse of just how much they are around us in dog movies. However, these days animal communication involves us, the owners, asking them a question and then answering it ourselves. If dogs could do the second part themselves, everything would change overnight. With talking animals, we could have a full-fledged conversation about important topics.
One of the topics that would surely come up with our talking dogs would be fear. They seem to fear everything moving in the world. A leaf falls from a tree onto a window — barking. A horse rides past the house, and your dog sees it. What follows that sight is pretty clear — more barking. If they could talk, we could explain that a leaf is not an intruder and that the local horse will not eat them on sight. Simple things like these could easily (let’s hope so, at least) be explained to them if they could talk. On the other hand, since they hear us gossiping with friends and enemies, dogs might also act as double agents. A talking dog would have a lot to share with the world. Thus, the next time you talk about juicy gossip with your neighbor, be careful. When they gain the ability to converse with people (it’s only a matter of time), they might betray you. Be warned!
Ever wonder — “If my dog could talk, what would he say?” If you have, so did the user Mantistobogganohyh. Interested in what other people think, he asked an interesting question on the popular AskReddit group — “Your dog has heard all of your conversations, arguments, and deepest secrets. It suddenly learns to talk. What would you do?” In the list below, we compiled the best answers we found. If you agree with the answer, upvote it. On the other hand, if you have your own opinion on what your four-legged friend would say, share it in the comments below.
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"Let’s be honest... it’s our cats that we really need to worry about."
That's why we would want dogs to talk, not cats. Probably would not be PG rating if it was an article about cats😹😹
"Hey, can we go for a walk?"
"No."
"How about some treats?"
"Later."
"Cool, but about that walk?"
"Not right now."
"I heard someone mention treats earlier? Is it dinner time yet? Can we go for a walk?"
Add in "can you throw the ball?" every other dog reply and nailed it
"We could sit down and have a discussion about how claw trimming is NOT the most terrifying thing in the world, I promise."
"I'd just be happy he could finally tell me what he's barking at."
"Honestly I'd just want to know what happened to her before I got her from a rescue, what made her so scared."
"He'd ask me why I always wanna shower alone. Or go to the bathroom alone... Or why I leave him alone while he's using his bathroom."
For the last one, I've heard that the reason they look directly at you during the deed is because they're trusting you to protect them. They are in a very vulnerable position and they're trusting that you are checking the surroundings and making sure they can safely pop the squat. And they're watching for if things suddenly become unsafe.
"My doggo can talk? I don't have any worries. I just finally have a loyal friend I can communicate with."
"Discredit the witness:
'Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury! You can't trust this dog! He'll say anything for a treat. He has no education and doesn't even know the dogs on TV aren't actually in his house.'"
I don't know, my dogs seem to know the difference between TV and real life.
"I would just bribe him with dog treats and ask 'Who’s a good boy?'
But again, his answer would probably be 'Not you Dave. Not you.'"
"Apologise for calling him a potato all the time.
Maybe encourage him to actually run on his walks too, so he looks less like a potato."
"Ask him why the f*ck he’s been quiet all these years when I’ve CLEARLY been asking for his opinion."
TannedCroissant replied:
"Oh, you want my opinion now huh? Maybe you should have asked my opinion before you had my balls chopped off!"
"One of my dogs is loyal and keeps my secrets. The other would definitely require negotiations and bribes."
Tabnam replied:
"Your other dog is a cat."
"Apologise for baby talking to him... In baby talk."
User replied:
"I’m sowwy fow spweaking to you like a wittle beebee you good pupper."
"My dog is unquestionably loyal. I'm not worried."
AndroidMyAndroid replied:
"Every dog is unquestionably loyal until they hear the treat bag."
"Get that talking dog on the internet ASAP. Screw my secrets, I need that talking dog money."
"Honestly, it would be the best day of my life. My dog is the absolute freaking best. No matter how low I am, he’s ready for a cuddle and a game of tug-of-war, to make me laugh unexpectedly, or to look at me with his big brown eyes and get to take him on a walk and shake off the fog.
I’d love to hear what he has to say and to watch him use another tool to be the absolute greatest, best boy."
"Ask her to tell me what all the different barks mean, and, if she can talk with other animals, what those sounds mean!"
"Why do you have to take 30 minutes looking for the perfect spot to poop when you know I'm in a hurry? What is it you look for?"
"Make a plea deal to give them all the treats and love in the world and they can lay on the couch whenever they’d like to."
Mine can anyway. She can lie (not lay) on any furniture they want.
"Oh God, my dog having the realization she could actually ask me for things might be the worst."
"I’d have so many questions. Did she remember her family? Does she miss them? Is she happy? What was your life like before me? And then I would tell her a lot of things about how much I love her. And tell her to leave the room when I’m being intimate, please."
"I would be extraordinarily thankful so I would know what the f*ck she wants all the time."
"My dog has a deep fear of horses or the big dogs. We live in a Mennonite area. Buggies go by hourly at minimum.
I just want to explain to her that the horses won't eat her."
"What the heck, you can talk?"
"Yep, and I know everything."
"So..?"
"First, the cat has to go."
"I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, 'I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead.' It’s funny because the squirrel gets dead!"
"I don't have a dog but I'm guessing you find out if it's really your best friend or not."
"My dog would comment on all the little annoying things I do. He would point out all the hair that’s mine on the floor. Anytime I drag mud in the house he would watch at me and make me clean my feet off and tell me I have to go take a bath."
"My dog is so stupid, he would tell me all the dumb stuff he’s planning on doing before he does it.
'Oh, I see you accidentally left that candy bar on the counter, Mom. Don’t worry, I’ll eat that for you.'"
"Buy as many dog bones as I could so he wouldn’t talk. It’s been me and him since I was 20, now I’m 28 now and I have made many mistakes that he has been a witness too."
"I will make him play my favorite board games with me since he definitely knows all the rules."
"My Chihuahua... Well, she would definitely blackmail me... She is already really manipulative. If she doesn't get attention and my sister is near, then she will suddenly cry out as you stepped on her, even if you aren't even close to her. And then she waits for my sister to run towards her, pick her up and cuddle her. She enjoys then, how my sister scolds the innocent soul, who is in the room with her."
"Find out what she really wants to eat. I have the one dog in the universe that is pickier than a cat about food."
I would do the same for my bunny, have a taste test party so I can spoil him right. Also explain that he doesn't get to eat every time I walk into the kitchen.
"Hey, pup."
"What’s up, human?"
"Don’t tell Mom about the song I just made. She won’t like it."
"Aight."
"Have deep intellectual conversations with him every night. He would understand all my quirks and what makes me tick.
The perfect in-home therapist."
"I’d have an honest discussion that he needs to start being nice to other dogs all the time, not just when he feels like it. I’d also ask him why he stopped wanting to sleep in my room."
It would be pretty cool if dogs could describe to you all the information they're picking up on when they're sniffing around.
I'd genuinely like to know this too. My lil guy is such a sniffer our walks take forever!
Load More Replies... It would be pretty cool if dogs could describe to you all the information they're picking up on when they're sniffing around.
I'd genuinely like to know this too. My lil guy is such a sniffer our walks take forever!
Load More Replies...