“I Hope This Email Finds You In A Well”: 50 Funny Posts Satirizing The Millennial Corporate Life

Fool me once...

So true….

Never thought of it like that but this is pretty accurate.

What is the actual point of an application when the resume you asked me for has the same information?

I use this a lot, mostly with my ex-husband, since most of our communication is about the kids. I also let him know if it's an emergency, urgent but not an emergency, or not a big deal.

Not to mention clippy... Yes I know it looks like I'm trying to add dot points to my document, NO I DO NOT WANT ANY F.U.C.K.I.N.G HELP

I sarcastically told my boss ‘I made you aware of this months ago’ when he got lit up by corporate for our department shutting down. All because he was signing off everyone’s vacation without looking at the dates. He was convinced it would work itself out. So all 8 off us went on a week cruise to prove a point.

But I so relate to yawn and stretch and try to come alive

Or to standards that were developed when the work was shared. Oh, so your flat is less clean than when one person was working and one person was a full time cleaner and cook? Oh my!

Forwarded with the message "As previously Stated"

That 3 minutes is bliss. Unless you're dumb like me and start something thinking you'll miraculously finish in 3 minutes, go down a rabbit hole, forget about the meeting, and join 10 minutes late.

You should be able to call in dead to work.

Time to gird my loins

(note to self - hiding in the stationery cupboard isn't working as well as I'd hoped ...)

My work makes us reset our passwords every 90 freaking days! And it has to be at least 10 characters with capitals/numbers/special characters/blah blah. As none of us can remember a new password every 3 months, most of us just change the number. Which defeats the purpose of having to change it so often! Even IT hates this stupid idea!

And not, as some would have it, that the heating system runs on unicorn droppings and no other fuel.

Positive feedback only, please. Dispite what I say, I am a delicate flower.

It's not that I'm not tired, it's just that one of the biggest things I took from therapy is the importance of not just a healthy amount of sleep but also a sleep routine. I prioritize it with myself and my kids. It really does make everything else just a little bit easier to manage.

Ah, but that's my superpower! Then when an actual stressful situation occurs, I'm already mentally prepared.

“I feel this is out of my expertise, maybe you want to contact xyz instead “ Pro tip: xyz is the person from work you hate the most.

This is exactly my logic, like I'll somehow enjoy meeting with you more on the next day. Negative

I'm learning too late that there is only one kind of week, and it's never what I'd hoped it would be.

Multa Nocte

Multa Nocte

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Luckily the sign on the right says, "stop," so you have that going for you.

"No worries" is an aspiration, not a statement of fact

Relatable

Especially when the meeting was a waste of time to begin with! Edit to add: Actually, if I end a meeting early, I will make it my mission to say "Then I'll give you x minutes back...go pursue your passions!"

Aileen Grist

Aileen Grist

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Standard working practice

True, but, the window between initial email and followup always decreases if you do so.

I always go with the simple, elegant, "Hello." Ball's in your court now, homie!

HA!

This!

add spider/radar chart. Just for yourself

... on your part ...

A lot of times the problem seems to solve itself, same thing 🤷🏽‍♀️

🙋🏽‍♀️, it's called ADHD

I feel like there should be some external guideline for pacing... but in 3 options( slow, medium, fast)

When something goes wrong...or right LOL.

a date - lol

Hang around the water cooler and you'll find it

This needs to be on top!

Debra deserves it!

"That doesn't quite align with my understanding."

It's not bad for you, it's excel-lent.

Yes! The most painful slap in the face

That’s a them problem. Don’t apologize for taking vacation time time. Even if you spend it chilling with wine and books

it's like the elsewhere mentioned "check engine light" of your body is on, but you manage in limp mode

sometimes "break" is when you get broken

I say "will do", but I won't.

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Is it just me, or is that too many double negatives to make proper sense?

Sorry, you're not qualified to decrease anything by more than 100% . This facility is only available to Presidents.

Then they’re not a 10. K one scenario where they are: the meeting is at the pub and the agenda is beer.

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"Blissfully meeting-free. Can we move this along, please?"

But question your existence with coffee. Because coffee

Sorry about the typo, for "fast-paced environment" read "chaotic rat-fight"

Philly Bob

Philly Bob

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When my cats are drinking their cream out of shotglasses and I'm having cereal from a used butter tub. With butter still in it.

I have a sip of orange juice while I ignore pancakes, omelette, croissants, fruit salad, musli, parma ham, fresh german crispy rolls,...(do I need to carry on?)

I have no camera on my work computer and I refuse to add one. They don't need to see me while we talk. It's unnecessary.

***screams in "essential worker"***

After you die things will really slow down for you.

The balance between 'paying the bills' and 'paying attention to life in all its glory' is a subtle one.

Just say it very quietly.