50 Epic Tweets By Women That Made The Whole Internet Laugh Out Loud

The cat was like: "what the hell are they doing?"

smooth

*makes note for future*

I have an identical twin named Patrick, and we go to different schools in cork. To see if anyone would find out, we traded places for a day. (We take almost the exact same subjects, so we weren’t horribly confused during classes or anything.) the only time one of the students noticed something wrong was when I answered anseo múinteoir (Irish for here teacher) when William, one of my brothers classmates, was called. Neither of us got in any trouble

Did it work? If yes, I gotta have a chat with my sister

*“Hello yes period helpline what can I do for you?”* “Well the monthly blood renewal sounded like a good idea at first, but I’d like to cancel my subscription” *”ooh, sorry miss, but you still have another 28 years in your contract”*

Considers adding more guns to the school environment by arming teachers but straws, they gotta go, they're dangerous!!!

They are not emused...

Thats the origin of chick called

Also the sea is filled with things exclusively designed to kill you, sharks, jelly fish, swimming knives...I think I lost the metaphor

so true....and so sad

Silliness is underrated

That's right, keep them humble

Thank you for this trick!

this is a good answer to your mums question of 'if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you?!', you could now answer 'yes, but I'd wear a life jacket'.

"punches screen, clears desk of paper, throws chair through window* I... er... have no idea... what you're talking about...

What you gonna do sister .. just bear with them .

well, you are

Or when I have to pay a whole ticket for my perfectly civilised corgi to board on the subway, but all screaming insufferable children under 6 go in for free.

LOL.... Good one!!

Where might one find a treadmill like this? Asking for a friend... ;P

my daugher is 3, she LOVES when her trousers have pockets. LOVES IT.

I'm the one answering your question every time you repeat it but ALSO not being noticed... :P

so close

Underneath the sink

My friend has one like that, they start talking and it is impossible to get away - ends up inventing imaginary reasons you have to go.

Don't disrespect shrek like this,,,

*Stares into space deep in thought at the marvellous prospect.

Welp they are pretty tall...

When I was a kid, I loved minigolf!!!

More upvotes!

gotta stay sexy!

So true

OMG! This is hilarious!

I didn’t realise that 80% of what I say was inappropriate until my 4 year old started repeating me

Every school and work place should have one of these!

Shampoo in our house. So many shampoo bottles.

genius

Aww! Don't give up; we're all beautiful in different ways! ✨

Yes, this is true

Fake pockets are the worst!!!

To be honest - I hate this in general. Can we just stop stereotyping everyone? (I know we can't, really, but let's aim for that!)

I hope to God this is what most women think. And by most, like 90-95%

Literally ME!

You summoned... my lord

Why can't we replace every password with the fingerprint identity like the phones have?

Eh, I've seen the opposite as well.

*cough* people who think they are cool 'cause they say Harry Potter is just a kids book *cough*

That's a Tibetan terrier, blind to its own beauty

Or looking for toilets 🤣

He looks at the icecream :)

OMG I love this XD he meant retrograde btw

When my now husband and I started dating all he had in his shower was peppermint Dr. Bronner's 18 in 1 soap. It had NOT been diluted and I used it to wash my face (not knowing that). I've never felt so alive.

Obviously he's husband material

The chair has feelings too

Same goes for tampons.

I haven't ironed anything in the two years I moved from my parents. Can't say I miss it. (For the record - I do hang the clothes properly and try not to buy anything that would look too bad wrinkled or that wrinkles easily. And also - I don't really care that much.)

This reminds me of the genital herpes commercial from season 5 of spn

I've had this convo more than once since I went back to working full time. Still beats being broke, tho.

That’s not men; that’s individuals with lack of decency. Many of them happen to classify as males. A man would pay attention, though, because he has self-respect 👍🏼

Invented by psychiatrists to get more patients.

It's worse on public transport - you cant just move further away. Once had a woman behind me on the bus talk on the phone in a very loud piercing voice for a full 30 minutes. I was seriously tempted to get off and wait for the next bus

Trumps head???