I don’t know about you, but I’m a simple person with simple needs, so most of my Uber rides go something like this: request a car, get in, exchange a quick hello, then ride in peaceful silence until we arrive. A polite goodbye, boom—instant 5 stars. Beautiful.
Naturally though, it’s not always like this, and sometimes more communication is involved. Usually it’s nothing special or memorable, just “traffic’s bad today” or “yeah, this weather, right?” But for these folks? Well, their drivers had something very different to say.
Instead of small talk, they got ridiculously funny messages and painfully awkward exchanges you truly can’t make up. People ended up screenshotting the chaos and sharing it online, and we’ve rounded up some of the most hilarious ones below—buckle up and enjoy.
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Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Well That’s A Pleasant Change From The Usual
Messages Between Wife And Dd Driver Who Saw Our “Congrats It’s A Girl” Yard Sign
Uber was founded in 2009 by entrepreneurs Garrett Camp and Travis Kalanick after they had trouble getting a cab in Paris during a snowstorm. What started as a simple idea to request rides through a smartphone app has transformed into a global transportation giant. The company launched publicly in San Francisco in 2011 and has since expanded to operate in approximately 70 countries and 15,000 cities worldwide.
To My Driver On 28 July…thank You For This Gem Of A Drop Off Photo
Delivering Christmas Cheer
If i was the DD, I would have had so much fun with that response, I can think of some very funny or naughty replies 😄
The numbers behind Uber are pretty wild. The platform has over 180 million monthly active users and coordinates an average of 36 million trips and delivery orders per day. Since its inception, Uber has coordinated 64 billion trips and has grown to include not just ride-hailing, but also food delivery through Uber Eats, package delivery, and freight transport. The company now works with over 8 million drivers and couriers globally.
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Dasher Added A Religious Tract To My Bag
i would be contacting uber about that, regardless of what it is putting anything in my bag is scary
With such massive scale comes inevitable variety in experiences. When you have millions of people interacting every single day, you’re bound to get some truly memorable exchanges. While most rides are perfectly ordinary, some result in the kind of awkward or hilarious text messages that people can’t help but share online. These moments range from drivers sending oddly specific instructions to passengers asking the most bizarre questions imaginable.
Just Got The Best Response From My Dasher. Currently Loling
Niceeee!!!!!
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
This may not apply in this situation, but it's Gen X for "This isn't necessarily the conclusion to this thought I've expressed... could be more to it... I'll allow you to fill in the rest..." We apparently have an aversion to conclusive finality...
But alongside the funny stories, there are legitimate concerns that many users have raised about feeling uncomfortable or unsafe in rideshares. People have reported feeling unsafe due to drivers behaving erratically, being verbally aggressive, or making inappropriate comments during rides. Both passengers and drivers have the ability to report when they feel uncomfortable, and these concerns are taken seriously enough that accounts can be disabled for guideline violations.
Driver Left Order At A Gas Station
This Made Me Snort Laugh
I always had a "please don't ring the doorbell" note on my deliveries. Trust me, Melvin will let me know you're here. 😁
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
One common worry is that the screening process might not catch everyone who shouldn’t be driving. Background checks can miss certain issues, and the gig economy model means rideshare drivers don’t have the same regulatory oversight that traditional taxi drivers do. There have also been situations where companies didn’t act quickly enough on customer complaints, allowing problematic drivers to keep operating for longer than they should have.
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Bruh Can You Just Be Normal
To address safety concerns, Uber has built several features into the app. There’s a button that connects you to emergency services and automatically shares your location and trip details with authorities. The app can also detect if your trip goes off-course or if there might have been a crash, then checks in to see if you need help. You can share your trip status with friends or family so they can track where you are in real-time.
Dasher's Response To My Note Asking Them To Be Quiet
Now this is cute! Many of these others are making me glad I don't live in an area with Door Dashing.
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
The app also lets you record audio during your ride, which gets encrypted and can be accessed later if you need to report something. When you communicate with your driver through the app, your actual phone numbers stay hidden from each other. There’s even a safety agent you can contact during rides if something feels off but isn’t quite an emergency situation.
Never A Dull Moment
Ever Lose An Order Because It's At A Crime Scene?
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
For drivers, Uber does multi-step background checks looking for things like impaired driving and violent offenses. They recheck drivers at least once a year and use monitoring technology to flag new issues between those checks. The app also uses photo verification to make sure the person driving is actually the person who passed the screening.
What Would You Do
absolutely contacting doordash about this, you may be having a rough day but so am i
Who Is In The Wrong Here?
Cmon Man. I Can’t Just Get My Food?
Still, even with all these tools, both riders and drivers need to stay aware. Verify the driver matches what’s in the app before getting in, sit in the back seat when you can, and trust your gut if something feels wrong. You can end a trip early if you’re uncomfortable, and the fare will usually get adjusted. No system is perfect, so knowing what safety features are available and actually using them when needed makes a real difference.
Totally F'd Up
I Mean Why Not😂
Is this one of those, "Oh, you're a doctor. I have a question..." things?
We Ordered Pizza
He Had Me Come Out To The Car To Get It. I Had To Sign Off My Meeting
Ok That's A New One
I Have Never Had A Customer Say This
It Finally Happened To Me 🤦🏻♀️
I have had doordaah deliver to what I suspect is their own apartment and take a picture and say it was delivered. I live in a house.
My Doordasher Is Stuck In The Elevator
Why Avoid Cameras?
Unsure How To React To This
What does this really mean? No tip required? Free delivery? If Doordash accepted your order, that means you're not out of the delivery area, right?
Do You Think I Can Get My Account Back?
Poor Dude Never Expected A Request Like This In My Life
My First Doordash Order Of The Night LOL
Dasher Feeling Flirtatious
Just Give Me My Food Please And Thank You. Leave Jesus Christ Out Of It
If Jesus is coming soon, he'd better be bringing my dämn food with him!
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Crazy Encounter
Should I Be Worried?
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Customer Tried To Get Me Detained Today
Dasher Calling Out Dairy Queen
So long as they're not cooking the food or packing the bags using those feet, I don't see that it's a problem
Why Are People Like This?
What Is This Even About
How often does crap like this happen? Can you contact their supervisor?
I Don’t Like That This Guy Knows Where I Work Now 😅
Oh ewwww. Doesn't anyone train these folks before they are sent out not to do creepy stuff like this?
Should I Report My Doordash Driver For Trying To Hit On Me?
Wtf Is This LOL
Delivered To The Wrong House And They Didn’t Even Apologize
Thanks I Guess
Help!!! This Dasher Won’t Stop Texting Me. I Have Not Responded To Him But Does He Have My Number Or Is He Texting Through The App? I Live Alone So These Texts Are Creeping Me Out :( Thank U!
Does DoorDash have a policy about perverts like this? Can you use this to put out a "do not contact" order with the police? This would absolutely freak me out.
Ayo? What Would You Do In This Situation
I Laughed But Am Now Sad
I Don't Like These People
What The Actual Hell Just Happened, I Hope She’s Ok 🤷🏻♀️
The Audacity
I Messaged Her BF Too Much?
Seriously now, Isaiah Y needs to dump his girlfriend's insecure ass.
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
Guy Gives Me "Choices" For A Tip, So I Moved Accordingly
Oddest Message In Awhile
What Happened Here Lmao
Dashers Out Here Insulting You For Giving Instructions Then Stealing Your Food
Dasher Stopped To Eat A Full Meal At The Restaurant Where He Was Picking Up My Food
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
What Should I Think Of This???
Sorry, I don't know how Door Dash works. Is this message from the driver or the person who ordered?
A Message My Boyfriend Received From His Dasher
Got Pulled Over While Dashing
I Have Seen Horror Stories Of Bad Dashers But Never Thought I'd Get One
Inappropriate Customer
Funniest-Uber-Drivers-Texts
“Deranged and terrifying” is a weird definition of “funny,” though I’ll admit I stopped reading about halfway through.
Without "80 Hilarious Uber Driver Messages People Were Not Prepared For" "funniest-uber-drivers-texts" & "Which type of Uber driver text made you laugh the most?" there would be no clue that any humour was intended
You're right: I couldn't find anything remotely amusing.
Load More Replies...Sometimes I am sad that I live too far out in the sticks to have Door Dash available, but after reading these, I am happy.
“Deranged and terrifying” is a weird definition of “funny,” though I’ll admit I stopped reading about halfway through.
Without "80 Hilarious Uber Driver Messages People Were Not Prepared For" "funniest-uber-drivers-texts" & "Which type of Uber driver text made you laugh the most?" there would be no clue that any humour was intended
You're right: I couldn't find anything remotely amusing.
Load More Replies...Sometimes I am sad that I live too far out in the sticks to have Door Dash available, but after reading these, I am happy.
