154 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week That Will Make You ROFL

Maybe that's how they met their fathers

Ah. See, I just don't exercise 🤷‍♀️

*hysterically clicking the cancel subscription button*

Now that's funny!

Hoot.

I want to fly with this pilot forever

Once when was 4 when I woke up and started crying, my mother asked if I had a bad dream and I said no, I woke up. Sometimes I still feel like crying when I wake up.

Try a size 12

Best. Explanation. Ever

Home is where I can be ugly in peace.

And when we cough, stand up, sit down, dance, trip, laugh, jump on trampolines, walk, run, exercise, get frightened, live, breathe........

.. whereas he was ugly and knew it. He was 5'7 and 501 pounds. His feet were size 13. His hat was huge to fit his big head. He threw up every night after his beers. Periods disgusted him and his Speedos were see-through white. (Good evening, darling! No, this is not you. You're lovely.)

woah, a tad bit close

She was hiding under a trailer, I saw him on the side of the road, I chased him up a hill and pulled him out of the brambles. (All true cat rescue stories)

Love this one!!

This age difference isn't going to work out

He's gonna go places. Not sure where, but places

Rich people call this a "personal assistant".

"uhhh- a blade of grass?"

🤣🤣🤣

My daughter

Same.

Every flight should have a Roscoe 🐶

And how is the apprenticeship going?

Hello toilet my old friend

oh yes

Um…. You’re not supposed to do that either.

What about making an L with your index finger and thumb to help you remember which way is left?

WISH DENIED

Someone is in for an awakening

My mom was Miss 'take off those earphones and put away that Walkman' years 1982 to 1990.

If someone could invent this for me, my little sweaty legs will be grateful. Being menopausal but also neurodivergent sucks monkey butts at times.

Back handed compliments.

I’m a teen and I have a favorite. It’s the front right btw

Why is the front facing camera always set for shock?

And knowing that when my dog play sneezes while playing with me means that he's happy and having a good time 😭😭

Is it appropriate to ask how much they are willing to pay? Just for my business plan.

Yeah, all my favourite snacks are with me, nothing to lose

Second date seems out of question then

Yes!

And a group of Kevins is called Fox News

do they at least have beer

That's funny. I'm an intern.

oh sweet summer child

That's because they were keeping an eye out for Bigfoot

Coffee helps you do stupid things faster and with more energy.

And not only bones.

Well a SBF ia actually a FTX but without the UPW. Top it off with a TQQ and you get a low-end URSO, but that get's us in LJ territory, so that may indeed be a little harder to grasp.

Then what are all the duck pics for?

It's right next to your social security card

Running is for cowards

No, I'd rather have Pepsi.

But before you leave just one more thing

And to knock things into the floor. 🐈‍⬛

For those who don't understand, this is based off the book 'The Picture Of Dorian Grey' where a narcissistic young man has a photo painted of himself, and then the picture becomes ugly and he freaks out because Old Book Drama

I just do roll call and whoever answers first is the one in trouble or gets voluntold to do something.

I will find and murder the f##king person who did this

Right? As if monogamy wasn't exhausting enough