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Talented Friend Plays Wedding Without Pay, Sues After Being Snubbed And Treated Like A Vendor
Man playing a large organ, symbolizing a musician involved in a dispute over performing at a friend's wedding.

Talented Friend Plays Wedding Without Pay, Sues After Being Snubbed And Treated Like A Vendor

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You know what’s worse than stepping on a LEGO barefoot? Performing an entire wedding mass for friends only to find out you weren’t invited as a guest, but merely for the things you can offer.

That’s exactly what happened to today’s Original Poster (OP) who generously lent his musical talents to a friend’s wedding only to be told he wasn’t actually invited to the wedding as a guest. Instead of moping, though, he pulled a reverse uno.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Friendship and business don’t always mix, especially when expectations aren’t clearly set

    Man in black suit playing organ keys, illustrating guy agrees to perform at friends wedding but sues after no pay or invite

    Image credits: Yura Forrat / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The author, lawyer, and musician, agreed to perform music for a friend’s Catholic wedding mass as a personal favor

    Text excerpt about a guy agreeing to perform at friends’ wedding and later suing them for not paying or inviting him.

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    Text excerpt about guy agreeing to perform at friends wedding, expecting invitation and payment for the musical performance.

    Excerpt of a man explaining he was not invited to a friend’s wedding despite agreeing to perform.

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    Bride and groom kissing at ornate wedding venue, symbolizing friend’s wedding and payment dispute story.

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    Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    As the date neared, he realized he wasn’t invited as a guest but was just expected to show up, rehearse, and perform

    Man reacting with surprise while discussing wedding performance and payment dispute with friends.

    Text image showing a quote about not being invited or treated like a guest, referencing free labor at a wedding dispute.

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    Text excerpt showing a guy describing honoring his commitment to perform at friends’ wedding despite no payment or invitation.

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    Text excerpt about sending a professional invoice for performing solo at a wedding, related to unpaid performance dispute.

    Man sitting at a table with a laptop, looking frustrated about friends refusing to pay or invite him to perform at their wedding.

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    Text on white background stating a message about a friend ghosting and failed communication after a wedding performance agreement.

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    Gavel on a stack of hundred-dollar bills over American flag representing legal dispute over payment at wedding event.

    Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    After the wedding, he sent a professional invoice which was ignored, prompting him to send a demand letter

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    Text on screen stating a man won a lawsuit after agreeing to perform at friends' wedding and suing when unpaid and uninvited.

    Text excerpt discussing a friend group conflict involving betrayal, money, and friendship issues after a wedding performance dispute.

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    Text discussing a guy agreeing to perform live music at friends' wedding and suing them after they refuse to pay or invite him.

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    When still unpaid, he sued the couple, won in court, and sparked mixed reactions within their friend group

    The OP, a lawyer and multi-instrumentalist, had a history of performing at weddings for friends, as a favor. So when his friends asked him to handle all the music for their Catholic wedding mass, he agreed. That meant rehearsals, organ, vocals, the full liturgical works; this was a big ask, but he assumed it came with a wedding invite at the very least.

    To his surprise, that invite never came. When he followed up, the bride-to-be casually informed him they’d “had to trim the guest list,” but that he was still welcome to come early and rehearse. Despite the cold shoulder, he kept his word and performed the entire mass solo. However, he didn’t get a seat at the table. No slice of cake. No greeting. Just free labor.

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    So, after the wedding, he sent a professional invoice of what the rate would have been, but the couple ignored him and continued to ghost him. After 30 days, he lawyered up and sent a demand letter, and when he didn’t hear from them, he sued and cited a breach of oral contract and unjust enrichment.

    With clear documentation of texts, screenshots, song lists, and timing, he represented himself in court. His former friends were visibly shocked he actually went through with it, but the judge ruled in his favor, awarding him the full invoice amount plus court costs. Now, the friend group is divided with some saying he was petty, while others quietly applaud him for standing up for himself.

    Pipe organ in a large church interior where a guy agrees to perform at friends wedding and sues after no payment

    Image credits: Red Nguyen / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Investopedia affirms that an oral contract is a legally binding agreement made through spoken communication rather than a written document. Despite the fact that there’s no written record to confirm the agreed-upon terms, courts recognize oral contracts, especially when there’s supporting evidence like messages or witness testimony.

    According to Open Privilege, doing favors for friends often comes with hidden costs whether it be financial, emotional, or social. These costs grow when expectations are unclear or when the exchange feels one-sided. While it’s common for people to help loved ones without formalities, healthy friendships usually maintain a balance of give and take.

    Based on this, Offbeat Wed suggests that when asking friends to take on roles like vendors at your wedding, it’s important to treat the arrangement with care and respect. They suggest offering at least a small payment as a gesture of appreciation and recognizing the value of your friend’s time and skill.

    Most importantly, they advise separating business from pleasure, meaning that personal relationships shouldn’t excuse cutting corners or ignoring professional norms.

    Netizens supported the OP’s decision to sue, with many agreeing he was well within his rights. They emphasized that by excluding him from the guest list, the couple effectively treated him as a hired performer, not a friend.

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    What do you think about this situation? Do you think suing friends is ever justified, or did this cross a line? We would love to know your thoughts!

    Some friends applauded him, while some said he went “too far,” but netizens don’t agree that he went too far

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing being removed from a guest list and friendship concerns at a wedding.

    Comment on a forum recommending written contracts to protect friends and family in performer payment disputes.

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    Reddit comment discussing irony, related to guy agreeing to perform at friends' wedding and suing after no payment or invite.

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    Text message stating disappointment over friends refusing to pay or invite after agreeing to perform at wedding.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a guy agreeing to perform at friends' wedding but suing after no payment or invite.

    Comment discussing lack of payment agreement for performance after guy agrees to perform at friends wedding.

    Comment about a guy agreeing to perform at friends' wedding and suing them after no payment or invitation.

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    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    Read less »
    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    Read less »

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    What do you think ?
    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The wedding couple could not have been clearer in demonstrating that while OP might have been talented enough to "perform" at their wedding, he was not a close enough friend to otherwise celebrate with them. Too bad they couldn't find some other friend to rip off, one who is less well-versed in the law.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone who agrees with Belle + Beast is no friend of OP's + deserves to be cut off. Good for OP for saving all the texts to prove his case.

    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t agree with their couple’s behaviour but I’m surprised that OP won the case if there were no agreements about money before hand, no messages talking their rates, etc

    Load More Replies...
    Angela Corvaia
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I helped a ‘dear friend’ of my former MIL to use EBAY to list Louis Vuitton purses. She made thousands of dollars and still expected me to continue to post and list myself even after spending hours showing her how to do it herself. Well Cyndi, hope it was worth it. Michele probably screwed you over as well.

    Papa
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I assume she didn't give you a share for helping her sell them, so I don't blame you.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The wedding couple could not have been clearer in demonstrating that while OP might have been talented enough to "perform" at their wedding, he was not a close enough friend to otherwise celebrate with them. Too bad they couldn't find some other friend to rip off, one who is less well-versed in the law.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone who agrees with Belle + Beast is no friend of OP's + deserves to be cut off. Good for OP for saving all the texts to prove his case.

    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t agree with their couple’s behaviour but I’m surprised that OP won the case if there were no agreements about money before hand, no messages talking their rates, etc

    Load More Replies...
    Angela Corvaia
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I helped a ‘dear friend’ of my former MIL to use EBAY to list Louis Vuitton purses. She made thousands of dollars and still expected me to continue to post and list myself even after spending hours showing her how to do it herself. Well Cyndi, hope it was worth it. Michele probably screwed you over as well.

    Papa
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I assume she didn't give you a share for helping her sell them, so I don't blame you.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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