Widow Dealing With Traumatic Loss Of Hubby And Estate Problems Can’t Stand Guy’s Constant Texting

Grief is a heavy emotion and one that takes a long time to work through. When a loved one passes away, it often feels like a gut punch, and the person dealing with the loss has to accept their new normal suddenly. That’s why the folks around them have to be patient and do everything in their power to support the grieving individual.

Unfortunately, this isn’t what a widow experienced. After her husband passed away, her friend kept bombarding her with messages about idiotic things, even though she tried to get him to stop.

More info: Mumsnet

People should be careful not to overwhelm a griever, and instead, be a gentle listening ear for them

Group of people mourning at a gravesite, capturing emotions of a friend stop messaging friendship during loss.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster shared that her husband had suddenly passed away, and she had to deal with his estate complications, which had led her to feel burnt out

Text message screenshot about a friend who won’t stop messaging during a difficult time involving estate issues.

Text discussing COVID delays causing paperwork backlog and admin issues related to dual citizenship and properties in two countries.

Text excerpt describing a friend-stop-messaging friendship issue with frequent unwanted texts causing burnout.

Man smiling and using a smartphone outdoors, illustrating friend stop messaging and changing friendship dynamics.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

During the grieving process, a friend of hers kept sending her messages about random things, and she eventually had to mute notifications from him

Text expressing frustration about unread messages from a friend and deciding to stop messaging in the friendship.

Text message conversation showing a friend stop messaging despite polite explanations about being busy and personal trauma.

Text on white background about appreciating check-ins but only responding when in the right headspace, related to friend stop messaging friendship.

Text describing struggle with a friend who won’t stop messaging despite requests for space and understanding friendship boundaries.

Text excerpt discussing a friend who continues messaging despite muting and stopping notifications about friendship.

Text about dealing with grief and friendship struggles, reflecting on changes after loss and friendship challenges in messaging.

Text expressing frustration about a friend not respecting requests for space in friendship and messaging boundaries.

Text discussing the struggle of maintaining friendship when deciding to stop messaging due to unhinged behavior.

Text message screen showing a request for kind advice about stopping messaging and friendship difficulties.

Young woman looking concerned and holding phone near window, highlighting friend stop messaging friendship feelings.

Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Eventually, the woman got fed up and told her friend he was going overboard with the messages, but he continued and asked her to join him on a vacation

Text message update about friendship changes and increased texting frequency after husband's death in grief journey.

Text update message about friendship, clarifying no romantic relationship and happily married status shared online.

Text on screen with friend stop messaging friendship theme about receiving a message asking about vacation plans together.

Person expressing frustration about excessive messaging from a friend, illustrating friend stop messaging friendship issues.

Text excerpt about coping after a spouse’s death, reflecting on friendship and travel plans with female friends.

Text discussing shock at men seeking out bereaved women and the impact of grief journey on friendships and life.

Text update explaining blocking a friend and not responding to their vacation message, highlighting friend stop messaging.

Text about frustration with a friend messaging frequently, highlighting issues in friendship communication and boundaries.

Text excerpt on a white background discussing unwillingness to argue about a vacation, highlighting friend-stop-messaging friendship issues.

Image credits: smmontana

Folks informed the woman that her friend might be preying on her, so she decided to block him and cut contact

The woman had obviously had to deal with a lot since her husband passed. Apart from the heavy grief that came with losing him, she also had many legal issues to sort out. There was a lot of paperwork to sort through because of his estate and dual citizenship. All of this had made her feel exhausted and burnt out.

The poster didn’t want to interact too much with people, especially because she was still grieving her husband, but her friend didn’t respect her boundaries. He kept texting her multiple times a day about random things in his life, and didn’t see how his actions were annoying her. She also didn’t know how to deal with his behavior.

To get an expert’s perspective on this situation, Bored Panda reached out to Tara Accardo, who is a grief and soul purpose coach and the host of the Life With Grief podcast. After losing her parents to cancer within six months of each other and navigating a traumatic birth experience, her journey of grieving led her to create Losses Become Gains: a community for fellow grievers.

Tara explained that “unfortunately, we’re still in a very grief-averse and illiterate society, and many people still don’t know how to support people in a meaningful and appropriate way. Until and unless you have been through a major loss yourself, it’s almost impossible to relate. We can put ourselves in each other’s shoes and show compassion, self-awareness, and respectful boundaries.”

“Many people fail to realize how many ways death impacts our lives. It’s not just the death and subsequent absence of that person; it’s countless things we have to mourn on top of that. This friend, from my perspective, doesn’t understand how difficult it is for this griever to be coping with all of this, and how bad their burnout probably is.”

“What’s best is that we 1) pay attention to our friends’ needs and what resonates with them, and 2) not add more to their plate. In terms of how this man supported his friend, the biggest issue is the complete lack of boundaries and awareness. This friend is not pulling their weight or adding value to this friendship in a balanced or healthy way, particularly in the most difficult time of this griever’s life,” Tara shared.

Woman sitting on a bench in a park, holding a white rose and covering her face, reflecting on friendship and stop messaging.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Although the poster was really annoyed by her friend’s behavior, she didn’t want to get into a conflict with him because she was already in a very vulnerable position. She politely asked him to give her some space, but he kept bombarding her with texts and silly videos. It seemed like he didn’t understand how she was feeling.

Tara said, “I do think they should set (or continue to set) boundaries with this friend. Frankly, I’m so glad they muted notifications/messages to protect their peace. Hopefully, one day this friend will understand that message, even though it doesn’t seem like they are currently, and that’s another big red flag.”

“It sounds like the griever has communicated needing their space, but perhaps there’s room to be even more direct and actually mention boundaries being violated. In fact, I would probably do that over the phone versus text so this friend can (hopefully) hear the emotion in the griever’s voice, and how their behavior is impacting them.”

Tara shared that “If I were this griever, I would take the time to address the gravity of not only the loss, but the enormity of the aftermath they’re dealing with. This person might not be able to fully understand it, but if they hear this from the griever and the behavior doesn’t change, it might be time to reevaluate this friendship.”

People also told the widow that there are many folks who try to take advantage of grievers. During this terrible time, they offer support and then pounce on the estate or money that the griever might have inherited. It’s heartbreaking if those were the intentions of the woman’s friend, but hopefully, all of this advice helps her protect herself.

What would you have done in a situation like this, and what do you think were the true intentions of the man? Let us know your honest thoughts.

Folks advised the woman on how to deal with her overbearing friends, and some felt that he had a motive behind his actions

Comment about a friend not respecting wishes and the need to stop messaging to protect the friendship.

User comment expressing confusion about how a normal person has time to text so often related to friend stop messaging friendship.

Comment expressing sympathy and doubt about a friend’s intentions to stop messaging in a strained friendship.

Text message advising to block a friend temporarily to reduce stress in managing friendship and communication.

Commenter VikingLady explaining someone ignoring boundaries and affecting friendship during a grieving process online discussion.

Text about deciding to stop messaging a friend temporarily to focus on grief and appreciating their patience in friendship.

Comment discussing concerns about a friend’s inappropriate messaging after a loss, relating to friendship and stopping messages.

Screenshot of a message asking a friend to stop messaging due to personal struggles with pressure and respect for friendship.

Comment stating a man is not a true friend and hinting to stop messaging for preserving friendship.

Text on screen from TaffetaPhrases reading: He can smell money, illustrating a phrase about friendship and stopping messaging.

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