Camping Trip Ends In Tragedy, Rips Friendship Apart And Leaves Man Facing Ultimatum

I‘m confused. Didn‘t she say he apologised and they have resumed their friendship? Or was that another guy? Why have a beef with his fiance if the guy responsible for the ducks demise was on good terms with them again? I don‘t get it

The human part of this is confusing the hell out of me, but I just don't understand how you can let ducks die unless they literally have a tiny bowl of water? And leaving the dead ducks in with the living is inexcusable. I've raised my own chickens without any experience, learning as I went- it was easy. I've also farmsit for people who had pigs, sheep, goats, ducks, and horses. Just follow the instructions, it's not hard. How lazy do you have to be to let those animals suffer and die?

Wow, this is confusing. The problem is you are holding to the "sins of the father rule". Be mad at the guy, but why are you mad at your friend (his finace', assuming I got this all right)? IMO, you were wrong for holding her (ultimately responsible) for his acts. Why did your husband want to go? Men tend to compartmentalize things. His friend made peace and that was it, in his mind. You complicated the entire situation, by inserting yourself into the conflict. Yes, they were your ducks too, but again SHE had nothing to do with the act. I won't make a @sshole judgement, as it's so complicated, but you bear some responsibility for the outcome.

Hurt people hurt people. OP was hurting not just from the ducks but from the trauma of losing her children. It does sound like she lashed out at the bride which led to her being uninvited. I very much doubt she was nice and kind like she posted on reddit. She was hurting, then she hurt others in return. They are hurting them back. Classic ESH, all 4 of them. Groom obviously should have taken better care of the ducks. Even if OP wasn't taking great care as some have point out, once they're your responsibility, you step it up. Don't let them die (and then leave a dead duck with dying ducks) due to someone else's negligence, if that's even true. OP lashed out too hard at the wrong person and ruined a friendship. Bride seems like she's taking revenge by having OP's husband be BM, and he's taking the bait instead of supporting his wife in her hurt. ESH.

I understand from OP's perspective and say NTA. I have lost a cat under the care of my 2nd aunt and uncle (I had him since he was a newborn kitten). He died young. They did almost exactly what the friend in this story did. Barely fed him and gave him water. He had diet limitations so I gave them a list of what not to give him one of which was junk food. Guess what? They gave him fried chicken pieces and his poor soul vomitted constantly. He died only 3 days after I was away on my trip. I only got to know of this neglect when my 1st aunt, who was gossiping with her sister the 2nd aunt, asked her the details of what happened and pried the answer out. Needless to say I don't forgive them, hate them but still act cordial in family events.

That was so hard to read 😭 those babies would have been peep peep peeping until they passed out and died. I would sue them for animal negligence personally. I’ve bred and raised hundreds and they are easy for a weekend to look after with no experience, all you have to do is make sure there is water at a safe level and food and in a weekend you wouldn’t have to worry too much about the poop depending on enclosure and amount of boubalees. They clearly did nothing more than fill a water once on one day and nothing more IF that

YTA. Hard. Here's the problem: she's extremely loose about what she actually said to the bride. She uses harsh terms and then says she didn't say them. So what *did* she say? Because odds are what she said may not have intended to be harsh, but was. And yes, her own care of the ducks was also poor. As one person pointed out, there's absolutely no reason those ducks shouldn't and couldn't have been given a lot more water than they were left with by OP. Proper treatment of ducks involves giving them a *pond* (at minimum a kiddie pool of water) not a little bowl to dip their beaks in. In many ways, she sounds like she was already abusing these ducks. Then she's going around pointing fingers at others. Frankly, if she doesn't seem to know how to properly care for ducks, odds are she didn't properly convey to the friend how to care for them too.

YTA for sure. Let's separate two things: improper care of the ducks and wedding invitation. With the poor ducks I guess there's no doubt. OP is NTA on that count, while the friend is a massive AH. However, the friend apologized and tried to make things right by buying the ducks. I know it's not the same, but still. We do not know how the convo between the OP and the fiance went, but that must have gone pretty bad for the fiancee to uninvite the OP. As time went on almost all came to their senses - the friend apologized and the OP was re-invited. The fiance is a bit inconsiderate of the OP's feeling and emotions, but I believe she made a quick summary: "if she has skipped an evening where details of the wedding must be discussed because her ducklings died, maybe I should find someone more reliable". Now the OP being pissed she's not Braidsmaid anymore puts pressure on her husband

Hard ESH. They all sound exhausting to be around

They are all AHs for different reasons, but mostly OP. You have to assume the groom didn't intend to kill the ducks, but he's an AH for not apologizing immediately. He eventually did after being nudged and has been helping OP and her husband with projects around their home. Dues paid. It seems OP was digging for details and an apology when she called the bride, who apologized. The call was unnecessary and paints OP as emotional, which she admitted, but also overdramatic with her further details. It is terrible that her ducks died, but it isn't an excusable absence from bridesmaid duties. A "close friend" would sacrifice to attend and not cause unnecessary stress. Things may have happened in the past to warrant OP being uninvited. Hubs is an AH for forgetting he was best man. OP is a royal AH for an ultimatum of friendship vs marriage over ducks. She was reinvited. OP clearly needs therapy for her losses. Ducks?!

This one is weird. The first YTA comment had me thinking OP is partially to blame for the ducks poor living situation. Then everything goes sideways with the wedding, with OP being at the center of drama, not that she’s to blame for all of it, but they all sound like their basic communication sucks.

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I side with the YTA comment explaining it's called WATER fowl for a reason and the ducks needed much more water in the first place so SHE might have not equipped the friend with a big enough through in the first place and failed to point out the importance of checking the water. Now she's throwing fits wildly accusing him of "murder" (= intentional, which I don't see here at all). He already apologized AND offered to buy new ducks - man, WHAT does she want?? As someone who usually smiles mildly at the US American custom of "go to therapy!" about everything (not at all common where I live): Ma'am, please go to therapy (My wild guess is she' s not over their 2 dead babies/other unresolved issues). My sympathies are with poor husband caught in the line of fire with this strange ultimatum, IMHO. PS: yes, dying by thirst is a gruesome way to go, of course.

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Wingnuts, wingnuts everywhere...and ducks cost $5 at the feed store.