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Family Vacation Ends On A Sour Note After Mom Gets Humbled For Her Parenting Style
British woman showing frustration outdoors, reacting to parenting lecture from French shop owner on holiday trip.

Family Vacation Ends On A Sour Note After Mom Gets Humbled For Her Parenting Style

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Unless it’s of a benevolent nature, prejudice is often ugly and potentially destructive. Having preconceived judgments about a person because of their race, religion, or where they came from only enforces division, which is never a good thing. 

This was an unfortunate experience a woman had while on vacation in France. Her visit to a local souvenir shop quickly turned unpleasant when the owner began throwing negative stereotypes at her and her children. 

She was understandably left stunned by the encounter, as she wondered whether the reputation of her people in other countries was warranted.

RELATED:

    A woman vacationing in France was unfairly stereotyped during a holiday in France

    Image credits: ORION_production / envato (not the actual photo)

    It all began during a visit to a local souvenir shop with her children

    British woman on holiday in France receiving a parenting lecture from a French shop owner during shopping trip.

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    Parenting advice clash between British woman and French shop owner during seaside holiday visit.

    Basket of handmade crocheted teddies and kids toys with children sitting in chairs holding them on laps.

    British woman with children on holiday having a tense moment with French shop owner about parenting.

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    Text excerpt describing a British woman confronted by a French shop owner about her children breaking toys during a holiday.

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    Text excerpt from a British woman about parenting issues encountered on holiday, reflecting on responsibility and judgment.

    Alt text: British woman lectured on parenting by French shop owner during holiday about children's behavior and limits.

    British woman showing frustration while being lectured on parenting by French shop owner during holiday outdoors.

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    Image credits: LightFieldStudios

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    According to her, the owner didn’t like how the kids “left the place a mess”

    British woman lectured on parenting by French shop owner after leaving a mess with teddy bears in holiday shop.

    Text excerpt about a British woman losing patience after being lectured on parenting by a French shop owner.

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    British woman experiences parenting lecture from French shop owner during holiday over broken items.

    Text discussing a British woman reflecting on French parenting criticism and differences in child obedience standards.

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    British woman on holiday feeling judged by French shop owner during a parenting lecture about losing patience.

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    Negative biases towards others may point to a person’s deep-seated trauma

    Image credits: Michael Morse / pexels (not the actual photo)

    The shop owner may have had her reasons for stereotyping the woman, which were likely formed from previous unpleasant experiences. However, it does not excuse her behavior at all. 

    According to the American Psychological Association, having negative biases toward other people could be a byproduct of post-traumatic stress disorder. The United States Department of Veterans Affairs also noted that racial trauma may, indeed, lead to PTSD, especially if the individual involved experienced some form of violence. 

    According to Very Well Mind, it may also be rooted in the general fear of anything unfamiliar. In most cases, it could be a bias against both a person’s physical appearance and cultural differences. 

    Dealing with a person who judges others based on their background is a losing battle. Trying to change their mind would be a futile effort. So, what would be the best way to handle a person with such prejudices? 

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    The International Organization for Migration advises against responding to avoid giving the hateful person more fuel to spread their vitriol. This applies to both the online world and in real life. 

    The woman’s bewilderment at what happened was a natural response, considering it may have been a first-time experience for her. However, she did take the high road and handled the situation calmly, which was highly commendable of her.

    People in the comments were vocal about their thoughts

    Comment discussing British woman losing patience after French shop owner lectures on parenting and strict French parenting styles.

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    Text post discussing different views on parenting and children touching items in a shop during holiday in France.

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    Comment discussing differences in parenting styles between British and French children highlighting boundaries and discipline.

    Comment from British woman skeptical about French teenagers' behavior and parenting comparisons on holiday.

    Text post on social media describing British woman losing patience with French shop owner lecturing on parenting.

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    Text post from user blunderbuss12 discussing differences in French and British children’s behavior in tourist towns, related to parenting.

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    Comment discussing British woman losing patience after being lectured on parenting by French shop owner during holiday trip.

    Comment from GoAwayAutumn explaining why the British woman lost patience while being lectured on parenting by a French shop owner.

    Text post from GreenAndWhiteStripes discussing children playing with toys in a shop while on holiday, referencing British parenting.

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    Screenshot of an online comment discussing British woman losing patience and being lectured on parenting during holiday.

    British woman loses patience while French shop owner lectures her on parenting during holiday visit.

    Comment discussing a British woman losing patience with a French shop owner lecturing on parenting during holiday.

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    Comment discussing British woman’s parenting criticized by French shop owner during holiday encounter.

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    Comment discussing British woman losing patience and being lectured on parenting by French shop owner during holiday.

    Comment excerpt discussing parenting and behavior during a holiday encounter between a British woman and a French shop owner.

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    British woman lectured on parenting by French shop owner during holiday over child handling toys incident.

    Comment from a British shop worker about French parenting and shop behavior of children while on holiday.

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    Comment discussing a British woman’s parenting patience and interaction with a French shop owner on holiday.

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    Comment discussing British woman losing patience and being lectured on parenting by a French shop owner while on holiday.

    Text excerpt from British woman lectured on parenting by French shop owner during holiday discussing children’s behavior and shop etiquette.

    Online forum discussing British woman’s parenting and French shop owner’s critique during holiday visit.

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    Text excerpt discussing British woman losing patience while French shop owner lectures on parenting during holiday visit.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    What do you think ?
    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A stand doesn't fall over when a kid gently points at it and twisting the ears is not part of 'sitting with the stuffed rabbit on their lap'. The way she downplays all this makes me think the kids went through the store like a grabby-fingered hurricane.

    Ivona
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! They almost toppled over a delicate stand with a necklace on it, almost broke a delicate cup, and played with toys that don't belong to them. That speaks of poor manners and poor parenting on OP's part.

    Load More Replies...
    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids shouldn’t be playing w/things they haven’t bought, unless they’re samples. I don’t know about England or France, but in the US toys are frequently destroyed by kids and unpaid for - it’s a good part of shrinkage. As far as being racist, aren’t France and England primarily the same race?

    Janissary35680
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pulling the "Racist" card really destroyed the OP's whole case in my opinion. The word has become virtually meaningless nowadays because of this sort of misuse.

    Load More Replies...
    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP saw the shop contained valuable things but still allowed her kids to mess with items on display. Her post is desperately trying to exonerate her poor parenting by deflecting. Still I reckon she'll keep a much closer eye on her kids now.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely. At 3 my mother wouldn't have let go of my hand. At 6 it was very much "you don't look with your fingers". And this woman honestly doesn't see what's wrong with small children sitting on chairs and playing with articles meant for sale?

    Load More Replies...
    Nadine Debard
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm French and I see all kinds of behaviours but in general the rule is children don't touch anything except if you buy it.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a big difference between you picking something up because you are considering buying it, and you letting your 3 year old maul something you have no intention of buying. Handcrafted fabric items will quickly get shopworn with handling, they're not child-proof. This was poor parenting and poor etiquette, and if you didn't pay for the soft toys, you are 100% in the wrong. Teach your kids "we look with our eyes, not our hands" or don't take them into any shop that doesn't have shopping carts.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've lived in France and the UK and when English people are on holiday, many of them go on holiday from being decent people. They littler, they let kids run riot and then suddenly scream at them, they park badly and take up several spaces, they don't follow skiing etiquette, they get teenager drunk and vomit and p**s in the streets before even 11 pm. This isn't how most behave at home or how they behave in a country they've emmigrated to, but it's a clear pattern when they holiday in the UK or in France. I've worked in tourism in Scotland and the consistently worst behaved tourists are English. I've never heard anything bad about German tourists though, I lived in the French Alps, not on the coast, but the only stereotype about Germans I heard was that a woman travelling alone was probably German. Maybe it's different on the coast.

    Lynchamigsakta
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone that worked summers in a Swedish hotel as a teenager I unfortunately have to agree. I don't want to bunch people together like this but the English tourists where usually awful to deal with. Germans where generally super polite and easy to please

    Load More Replies...
    Cathy Lemay
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so entitled. Those toys weren't your children's to m****t. They broke something that the shopkeepers depended on to earn a living. They paid money for the stock. Your children aren't going to learn respect. Who,pray tell, do you think you are?

    Multa Nocte
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been living in France now for almost 4 years and I have observed a definite difference between French children and English children. I live in Nouvelle-Aquitaine (southwest France) and we have a lot of local English people and a lot of English tourists - definitely more English tourists than from any other country. We see LOADS of tourists here, especially in the summer, and French children are definitely better behaved than English children. However, having lived in the US for all of my life previously (and being a doctorate level clinical child psychologist) I can easily say that English children are generally better behaved than American children.

    Bartlet for world domination
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad you don't mention the Dutch; I sometimes think we are the Americans of Europe. I was in England this summer and the moment I got off the plane back home, someone was oblivious to their surroundings and in my way again. Wouldn't happen in England, wouldn't happen in France.

    Load More Replies...
    Undercover
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Knowing small kids, i never let my niblings touch things I didn't intend to buy in stores. Their hands are always sticky, they drool or put objects in their mouths, they're clumsy and have bad impulse control. No, you don't leave kids alone somewhere to browse a store, especially when they sell delicate and expensive items.

    roddy
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you teach them well, they won't do it. My parents (maybe because they were both in the forces) trained me well. Even at three years old, I didn't touch things that didn't belong to me, and waited to be invited before I ate anything set out for our meal. Even toddlers are not stupid, they can understand basic concepts and develop patience and restraint.

    Load More Replies...
    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as the parents are willing to take responsibility and PAY for anything their kids damage, I don't see a problem.

    Load More Comments
    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A stand doesn't fall over when a kid gently points at it and twisting the ears is not part of 'sitting with the stuffed rabbit on their lap'. The way she downplays all this makes me think the kids went through the store like a grabby-fingered hurricane.

    Ivona
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! They almost toppled over a delicate stand with a necklace on it, almost broke a delicate cup, and played with toys that don't belong to them. That speaks of poor manners and poor parenting on OP's part.

    Load More Replies...
    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids shouldn’t be playing w/things they haven’t bought, unless they’re samples. I don’t know about England or France, but in the US toys are frequently destroyed by kids and unpaid for - it’s a good part of shrinkage. As far as being racist, aren’t France and England primarily the same race?

    Janissary35680
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pulling the "Racist" card really destroyed the OP's whole case in my opinion. The word has become virtually meaningless nowadays because of this sort of misuse.

    Load More Replies...
    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP saw the shop contained valuable things but still allowed her kids to mess with items on display. Her post is desperately trying to exonerate her poor parenting by deflecting. Still I reckon she'll keep a much closer eye on her kids now.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely. At 3 my mother wouldn't have let go of my hand. At 6 it was very much "you don't look with your fingers". And this woman honestly doesn't see what's wrong with small children sitting on chairs and playing with articles meant for sale?

    Load More Replies...
    Nadine Debard
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm French and I see all kinds of behaviours but in general the rule is children don't touch anything except if you buy it.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a big difference between you picking something up because you are considering buying it, and you letting your 3 year old maul something you have no intention of buying. Handcrafted fabric items will quickly get shopworn with handling, they're not child-proof. This was poor parenting and poor etiquette, and if you didn't pay for the soft toys, you are 100% in the wrong. Teach your kids "we look with our eyes, not our hands" or don't take them into any shop that doesn't have shopping carts.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've lived in France and the UK and when English people are on holiday, many of them go on holiday from being decent people. They littler, they let kids run riot and then suddenly scream at them, they park badly and take up several spaces, they don't follow skiing etiquette, they get teenager drunk and vomit and p**s in the streets before even 11 pm. This isn't how most behave at home or how they behave in a country they've emmigrated to, but it's a clear pattern when they holiday in the UK or in France. I've worked in tourism in Scotland and the consistently worst behaved tourists are English. I've never heard anything bad about German tourists though, I lived in the French Alps, not on the coast, but the only stereotype about Germans I heard was that a woman travelling alone was probably German. Maybe it's different on the coast.

    Lynchamigsakta
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone that worked summers in a Swedish hotel as a teenager I unfortunately have to agree. I don't want to bunch people together like this but the English tourists where usually awful to deal with. Germans where generally super polite and easy to please

    Load More Replies...
    Cathy Lemay
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so entitled. Those toys weren't your children's to m****t. They broke something that the shopkeepers depended on to earn a living. They paid money for the stock. Your children aren't going to learn respect. Who,pray tell, do you think you are?

    Multa Nocte
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been living in France now for almost 4 years and I have observed a definite difference between French children and English children. I live in Nouvelle-Aquitaine (southwest France) and we have a lot of local English people and a lot of English tourists - definitely more English tourists than from any other country. We see LOADS of tourists here, especially in the summer, and French children are definitely better behaved than English children. However, having lived in the US for all of my life previously (and being a doctorate level clinical child psychologist) I can easily say that English children are generally better behaved than American children.

    Bartlet for world domination
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad you don't mention the Dutch; I sometimes think we are the Americans of Europe. I was in England this summer and the moment I got off the plane back home, someone was oblivious to their surroundings and in my way again. Wouldn't happen in England, wouldn't happen in France.

    Load More Replies...
    Undercover
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Knowing small kids, i never let my niblings touch things I didn't intend to buy in stores. Their hands are always sticky, they drool or put objects in their mouths, they're clumsy and have bad impulse control. No, you don't leave kids alone somewhere to browse a store, especially when they sell delicate and expensive items.

    roddy
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you teach them well, they won't do it. My parents (maybe because they were both in the forces) trained me well. Even at three years old, I didn't touch things that didn't belong to me, and waited to be invited before I ate anything set out for our meal. Even toddlers are not stupid, they can understand basic concepts and develop patience and restraint.

    Load More Replies...
    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as the parents are willing to take responsibility and PAY for anything their kids damage, I don't see a problem.

    Load More Comments
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