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Bully Eats Dirt After Victim’s Father Violently Retaliates, Dad Sees His Reputation Destroyed
Bully Eats Dirt After Victim’s Father Violently Retaliates, Dad Sees His Reputation Destroyed
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Bully Eats Dirt After Victim’s Father Violently Retaliates, Dad Sees His Reputation Destroyed

Interview With Author

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We might imagine that bullying only happens to kids in middle school or high school, but in reality, it starts happening as early as kindergarten. The statistics are pretty grim: 20% of kindergarteners said they experience bullying often. What’s worse, the numbers even go up in elementary school, where 33% of students report getting bullied.

When you’re a parent, you might often feel helpless. Your kid is experiencing psychological torment every day, but the school doesn’t seem to be addressing the problem. This one dad tried to protect his son from a bully, but unfortunately, he picked the wrong method. One that cost his son his place at the kindergarten and the dad his reputation.

Bored Panda got in touch with this Redditor, and he was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. Read his comments below!

RELATED:

    Kindergarten social dynamics can be hard on the parents as well as the kids

    Image credits: elmedoks / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

    This dad’s knee-jerk reaction to his son being bullied caused his son’s expulsion and outraged other parents

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    Image credits: photobac / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: perfectlab / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Andrew Neel / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: anonymous

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    Image credits: elmedoks / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

    “I’ll start by saying that I was uneasy about the number of commenters who thought it was justified or that the boy deserved it,” the author wanted to make something clear right off the bat. “It wasn’t, and he didn’t.”

    “I’ll also push back against the people calling me a monster and unhinged, etc. I know Reddit isn’t known for its nuance, but the majority of comments, regardless of siding, made it black and white. Overall, it’s an unfortunate situation that culminated in a horrible mistake that I’m now paying for,” the Redditor said.

    One thing he wishes he had done differently was to ask the school to do more regarding his son’s bullying. “I should have been more assertive. I took a backseat and expected the school to do the right thing,” he says. “That didn’t [happen], and it ended in regrettable fashion. Had I advocated more in the first place, the circumstances that led to that afternoon probably [wouldn’t have happened].”

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    The father doesn’t take pride in what he did and feels remorseful. “It takes a split second to ruin a reputation that took 13 years in a community to build. What I did was wrong, and without context, it seems even worse, split-second reaction or not. Hopefully, one day, people will remember me for something other than this, but in the meantime, I’ve done this to myself,” he adds.

    To other parents whose children experience bullying, the Redditor advises not to take “no” for an answer. “Never assume that just because people have the authority to do something, they will.”

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    “I always considered myself a huge advocate for my son, but this has been a wake-up call to the fact that I need to be the one to get things done for my children and not rely on anyone else. Emails and pleasantries aren’t enough sometimes. I won’t be making that mistake again,” the author says.

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Parents often feel helpless when they know their child is being bullied. The kids, in turn, don’t always come to their parents for help. They can feel embarrassed, thinking that their parents might get angry at them, be disappointed, or get upset.

    It’s not uncommon for children to blame themselves for getting bullied. They might think that if they looked or acted differently, the bullying might have never happened. They also fear what might happen if they tell on the bully. The bullying might get worse, and the parents might not believe them. In some cases, they’re afraid their parents will tell them to fight back, which they might be scared to do.

    Experts say that it’s important for parents to tell their children they did the right thing by telling them. Knowing that their parents will help them get through this can make the kids feel safer and more self-assured.

    What should parents do upon finding out their child is being bullied? The first step should be to talk to the teachers and the school administration. When bullying occurs at school or kindergarten, parents can consult their state’s anti-bullying laws. There are also federal laws that require schools to take action against harassment based on race, sex, color, national origin, and disabilities.

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    VeryWell Family advises parents not to minimize what a child says about bullying. As this is a very delicate situation, a child needs to feel validated if they feel hurt and afraid. Role-playing is another strategy parents might employ: teach them how to act in one situation or another. The most important thing is to let the child know this isn’t their fault.

    Some people in the comments showed support for the father, and others questioned the school’s passivity

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    Read less »

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    What do you think ?
    Insomniac
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The dad instinctively put his foot out to protect his kid from a known bully who was attacking him. The child has obviously never faced consequences for physically attacking other kids if he'll chase a child right into his father's arms. Even at 5, you should know not to be hitting someone at all, much less in front of their parents. So the child has obviously gotten away with this before. We can say the dad should have picked his child up or swung him away or something, but defending someone is instinctive, and putting a foot out to stop an attack is natural. The moment the CCTV footage becomes available, that should be enough to shut this down. If a child is going to attack other children, especially around their protectors, the kid is going to end up getting restrained in some way. Unfortunate the dad instinctively used his foot instead of his knee or something that was more clearly an act of defence.

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have turned round and let that kid collided with my butt. Putting a foot out makes it look like he kicked the kid. If it runs head long into his butt it's still a win when the kid falls down

    Load More Replies...
    Tamra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He said there's CCTV everywhere, yet not one of them caught the boy bullying the other kids? No other parents made a complaint against this kid? And this little boy, who's done NOTHING wrong, gets expelled?? Sounds to me the school failed massively, given the information we've been given.

    Rayne OfSalt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The school doesn't give two hoots about bullying. Doing anything about it would cause disruption to their "donations" and a likely lawsuit from the bully's parents.

    Load More Replies...
    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally with the dad on this one. I hate bullies so much!

    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not everybody has the reflexes to do that, but putting his kid behind him and yelling at the little f****r to stop BULLYING his son would've turned the tables and mortify the bully's parents instead.

    Pyla
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right! It’s just how the execution of his protection went that turned the tables against him. Sad.

    Load More Replies...
    DC
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Bullies having it their way as usual. I remember countless of them, who were tame and lovely around and to teachers, but one second without them there ... but, they don't believe you, and next time, they will even less, because "you lied the time before". Been there, done that. Dad did right, just the visibility is an issue here.

    Sebastian Hartvig
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I would have done the same. I was a kid in a French kindergarten ( my dad worked at a Nato base - were from Denmark) so this other kid who was also in the kindergarten bullied me every day for about 2 months. My parents tried everything on the communication list and nothing worked. The kid just wouldnt stop - the kid would punch me, kick me and so on. In the end my parents had enough and instructed me to hit back in the way I felt was fair next time. So the kid pulled me over the flow holding my hair one day and we he was done I remember getting up and punching him. Kid never did anything to me again. Point is, sometimes kids don't respond to verbal boundaries and can act violent because of who knows what. But what kids understand is consequence and in this situation physical consequence did the trick. - it's like wen my kids were small. They started to develop s habbit of biting - my mom's best trick to solve it with us was to bite back as they did to me and my sister. And what do you know - it worked. Sad to hear about the repercussions but glad that you stod up for your kid. He will remember that

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds more like the bully was charging at OP’s kid, OP simply stuck his foot out as a signal for the bully to stop, and not to actually kick him. But the bully didn’t stop, and ran full speed into his foot. Not OP’s fault, technically. The bully should’ve stopped—-actually the bully shouldn’t have been bullying in the first place, so the fault goes all the way back to the bully and his parents.

    Ai
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I (F34) was the kid in this situation and it was my grandma, not my dad. There was an older kid terrorizing us every day on playgrpund. After she had "a talk" with him he never toutch me again. I'm still gratefull that she made me feel safe.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can only imagine what kind of horrors Grandma threatened the little s**t with. Grandmothers, especially the old school ones, can be fierce, and f*****g scary to anyone who threatens and/or mistreats their grandchildren.

    Load More Replies...
    J. Maxx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From kindergarten to 9th grade, I was the biggest kid. I was also the only redhead, with bright blue eyes and tons of freckles. I was a weirdo and gay. I was bullied mercilessly by students and some staff, and the higher my grade, the worse the bullying got. I was stabbed twice, set on fire twice, sexually assaulted and punched, slapped, kicked, and pushed down more times than I could count. Sometimes, the attacks happened in front of staff and even the principal. Nobody stopped it. My one regret was never telling my Mom. She had to work 3 jobs sometimes and had to deal with my a*****e father, and I just didn't want to put any more stress on her. I was also ashamed because I was such a big boy, but I wouldn't fight back because I knew if I started to fight I would really hurt someone. I ended up being diagnosed as haveing Bi-Polar, Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD. I should have spoke up.

    Tamra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a terrible way to grow up, I'm so sorry. The adults in your life failed you miserably. Every child deserves safety, support, and protection and I'm so sorry you didn't have that.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Insomniac
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The dad instinctively put his foot out to protect his kid from a known bully who was attacking him. The child has obviously never faced consequences for physically attacking other kids if he'll chase a child right into his father's arms. Even at 5, you should know not to be hitting someone at all, much less in front of their parents. So the child has obviously gotten away with this before. We can say the dad should have picked his child up or swung him away or something, but defending someone is instinctive, and putting a foot out to stop an attack is natural. The moment the CCTV footage becomes available, that should be enough to shut this down. If a child is going to attack other children, especially around their protectors, the kid is going to end up getting restrained in some way. Unfortunate the dad instinctively used his foot instead of his knee or something that was more clearly an act of defence.

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have turned round and let that kid collided with my butt. Putting a foot out makes it look like he kicked the kid. If it runs head long into his butt it's still a win when the kid falls down

    Load More Replies...
    Tamra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He said there's CCTV everywhere, yet not one of them caught the boy bullying the other kids? No other parents made a complaint against this kid? And this little boy, who's done NOTHING wrong, gets expelled?? Sounds to me the school failed massively, given the information we've been given.

    Rayne OfSalt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The school doesn't give two hoots about bullying. Doing anything about it would cause disruption to their "donations" and a likely lawsuit from the bully's parents.

    Load More Replies...
    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally with the dad on this one. I hate bullies so much!

    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not everybody has the reflexes to do that, but putting his kid behind him and yelling at the little f****r to stop BULLYING his son would've turned the tables and mortify the bully's parents instead.

    Pyla
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right! It’s just how the execution of his protection went that turned the tables against him. Sad.

    Load More Replies...
    DC
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Bullies having it their way as usual. I remember countless of them, who were tame and lovely around and to teachers, but one second without them there ... but, they don't believe you, and next time, they will even less, because "you lied the time before". Been there, done that. Dad did right, just the visibility is an issue here.

    Sebastian Hartvig
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I would have done the same. I was a kid in a French kindergarten ( my dad worked at a Nato base - were from Denmark) so this other kid who was also in the kindergarten bullied me every day for about 2 months. My parents tried everything on the communication list and nothing worked. The kid just wouldnt stop - the kid would punch me, kick me and so on. In the end my parents had enough and instructed me to hit back in the way I felt was fair next time. So the kid pulled me over the flow holding my hair one day and we he was done I remember getting up and punching him. Kid never did anything to me again. Point is, sometimes kids don't respond to verbal boundaries and can act violent because of who knows what. But what kids understand is consequence and in this situation physical consequence did the trick. - it's like wen my kids were small. They started to develop s habbit of biting - my mom's best trick to solve it with us was to bite back as they did to me and my sister. And what do you know - it worked. Sad to hear about the repercussions but glad that you stod up for your kid. He will remember that

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds more like the bully was charging at OP’s kid, OP simply stuck his foot out as a signal for the bully to stop, and not to actually kick him. But the bully didn’t stop, and ran full speed into his foot. Not OP’s fault, technically. The bully should’ve stopped—-actually the bully shouldn’t have been bullying in the first place, so the fault goes all the way back to the bully and his parents.

    Ai
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I (F34) was the kid in this situation and it was my grandma, not my dad. There was an older kid terrorizing us every day on playgrpund. After she had "a talk" with him he never toutch me again. I'm still gratefull that she made me feel safe.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can only imagine what kind of horrors Grandma threatened the little s**t with. Grandmothers, especially the old school ones, can be fierce, and f*****g scary to anyone who threatens and/or mistreats their grandchildren.

    Load More Replies...
    J. Maxx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From kindergarten to 9th grade, I was the biggest kid. I was also the only redhead, with bright blue eyes and tons of freckles. I was a weirdo and gay. I was bullied mercilessly by students and some staff, and the higher my grade, the worse the bullying got. I was stabbed twice, set on fire twice, sexually assaulted and punched, slapped, kicked, and pushed down more times than I could count. Sometimes, the attacks happened in front of staff and even the principal. Nobody stopped it. My one regret was never telling my Mom. She had to work 3 jobs sometimes and had to deal with my a*****e father, and I just didn't want to put any more stress on her. I was also ashamed because I was such a big boy, but I wouldn't fight back because I knew if I started to fight I would really hurt someone. I ended up being diagnosed as haveing Bi-Polar, Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD. I should have spoke up.

    Tamra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a terrible way to grow up, I'm so sorry. The adults in your life failed you miserably. Every child deserves safety, support, and protection and I'm so sorry you didn't have that.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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