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Mom Of 2 Says She Won’t Host A Xmas Party For Ex And His Numerous Extramarital Kids, Drama Ensues
Interview With ExpertThere are numerous signs of being an adult, like having a driver’s license, buying beer without restrictions, and whatnot – but many people, alas, actually limit themselves to these external signs. Meanwhile, perhaps the most important and only sign of being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions and not putting it on others’ shoulders.
Well, this is something that the ex-husband of the user u/Caryzzys, the narrator of our story today, always had problems with. This ultimately led to the breakdown of his marriage, and to his numerous fruitless attempts to shift responsibility for his affair kids onto his ex-wife. However, let’s just take things one step at a time.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Sometimes, people actually realize it’s all over between them and don’t make any effort to turn the tables – but that wasn’t the case in today’s story
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post has been divorced from her husband for 5 years, mostly over his numerous cases of cheating on her
Image credits: Caryzzys
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Now, the lady lives with their 2 kids, and the man has to deal with his numerous affair kids somehow
Image credits: Caryzzys
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The ex-spouses still have tension between them, so when the ex-in-laws asked the woman to host the Christmas party “for the whole family,” she was clearly unhappy with the idea
Image credits: Caryzzys
Image credits: Michael Pointner / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman said that it’s all over between her and her ex, and asked his parents to stop coaxing her
Image credits: Caryzzys
However, the ex-in-laws were incredibly insistent, so the woman took it online, seeking support
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she and her husband have been divorced for over five years, and their children (now 11 and 9) live with their mother, while the dad appears in their lives about once a month. This, apparently, suits him just fine. Especially since he currently has many other problems. The thing is, both during their marriage and later, he never restrained his love for other ladies.
As a result, the couple divorced when numerous instances of his adultery came to light. They divorced on bad terms, and the woman sincerely admits that she still hates her ex. Meanwhile, he was discovered to have five more kids from different women, who now live with him (so he has 14 children overall). But our heroine reasonably believes that this is his life and his problem.
At the same time, the woman maintains a good relationship with her ex-in-laws. Firstly, they are truly decent people, and secondly, the kids really love their grandparents. But now, as Christmas approaches, the ex’s parents have suggested to the author that they celebrate the holiday together, with her ex and his numerous offspring too. They even offered to buy a turkey as a token of reconciliation.
But the problem is, the original poster doesn’t want that at all! She believes that tension between her and her ex-husband shouldn’t spoil the holiday atmosphere and that his kids have no business being in her house. She’s mentioned this to her ex-in-laws several times, but they’ve only gotten upset and continued to insist. So she decided to take it online, seeking support and advice.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“Apparently, this man’s parents, fully aware of their son’s personality, are still trying to reconcile him with his ex-wife somehow, counting on her beneficial influence on him,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “And he’s either aware of these plans or just doesn’t mind.”
Yes, there’s no place for negative emotions at Christmas, especially around a table full of children. And if, as the author says, she still harbors some bad feelings toward her ex-husband, then, according to the expert, it’s best to refrain from gathering at one table at all. At least then the holiday won’t be marred by any fights.
“It seems to me that this man’s parents should focus their energy, instead of inappropriately trying to bring his ex-wife ‘back into the family,’ on influencing their son. Trying to change his character and mindset. In any case, his ex-spouse is already in the past for him, and if he doesn’t change himself, his future, and that of his children, won’t be bright,” Irina Matveeva sums up.
Most commenters, of course, sided with the OP, arguing that she’s under no obligation to host Xmas for a man she still dislikes. And if the guy’s parents want a family atmosphere for the holiday, then let them host the event themselves and not demand another person do it. “You are not obligated to do anything but protect your peace and your children,” one of the responders wisely wrote. So, isn’t that right, our dear readers?
The majority of commenters sided with the woman, claiming that she actually owes nothing to anyone and doesn’t need to host this party at all
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What do you think ?
Trillian 3 weeks ago
If only they had put as much effort into raising that dickwad into a decent person as they now do trying to guilt trip his ex into making peace.
Lizzy Lizzard 3 weeks ago
Nick Cannon, is that you?! Seriously, this guy needs to get snipped.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago (edited)
I'm pretty sure that the AKC-registered purebred Belgian Malinois that fathered my dog Fenring has less offspring than OP's ex!
ID 3 weeks ago
That's because your dog is a pedigree and those have standaards. This dude is just a dog and has none
Load More Replies...
liam newton-harding 3 weeks ago
Ex has a breeding f****h...has no wish to be a daddy, but craves being a father...is muskboi his role model?
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
OP’s ex and his parents want OP to reconcile with the ex for no other reason than he will then be able to dump ALL the responsibility for raising HIS excess kids, as well as her own, on her so she can be stuck at home, and therefore unable to check up on him, while he goes out tomcatting around town and making even more affair children to dump on her. Because he doesn’t want to pay the consequences of his actions, man up, and be a father—-and I mean an actual father, not just a s***m donor. As far as his parents and their manipulations, you have to remember that they made him and shaped him into the worthless sack of s**t he is, so why would you expect anything different from them?
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
I'm so tired of reading these stories about babies being born from unprotected s*x. Babies don't ask to be born, but they have to deal with the people who brought them into this world. When I was growing up, and unwanted pregnancy was the worst thing that could happen to you, and everyone practiced birth control. What is happening now? Why are so many babies being born right and left with no plan for them? This country desperately needs robust and science based s*x education at every grade level along with parenting classes.
Binky Melnik 2 weeks ago
If only all the women he hits on got migraines from his come-ons, there’d be fewer fatherless children in her state.
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 2 weeks ago
Hell to the f k right off NO NO NO NO NO ,op is NOT the ah , the ex is a serial pos cheater , who appears to think HES DONE NOTHING WRONG like what the fresh hell dude , , I’m so glad she got mega tested , cos he gotta be a walking Petri dish of STDs by now , n there by the grace of angels ,she got away with not getting anything off him 14 kids 13 mothers only one his wife , well ex , dam that man is full on low life s c u m , if he was female , she would be a dirty s k an k , why don’t men get a name like that to , pfft ,as for Xmas with in-laws in the word of my 24 yr old daughter ABSOLUTELY NOT !! end of convo over , not happening ! those poor poor kids,being raised by s k an ks is ( not including op obviously) I’m gobsmacked totally , n my flabber has been gasted 😱what a vile inhuman he is ,
Anne Edwards 2 weeks ago
Should they bring it up again, just tell them no. If (when) they push for a reason tell them he's a vile cheating basturd. You might also mention that you don't want to share the use of towels or toilets with him for obvious reasons.
Dusty's mom 2 weeks ago
He. CHEATED. On. Her! He risked her life and the safety of his family. No! No! No! Enough of their delusions. Lay it on the line that there's no way in h*e*l*l she'll ever remarry that cad!
Trillian 3 weeks ago
If only they had put as much effort into raising that dickwad into a decent person as they now do trying to guilt trip his ex into making peace.
Lizzy Lizzard 3 weeks ago
Nick Cannon, is that you?! Seriously, this guy needs to get snipped.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago (edited)
I'm pretty sure that the AKC-registered purebred Belgian Malinois that fathered my dog Fenring has less offspring than OP's ex!
ID 3 weeks ago
That's because your dog is a pedigree and those have standaards. This dude is just a dog and has none
Load More Replies... liam newton-harding 3 weeks ago
Ex has a breeding f****h...has no wish to be a daddy, but craves being a father...is muskboi his role model?
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
OP’s ex and his parents want OP to reconcile with the ex for no other reason than he will then be able to dump ALL the responsibility for raising HIS excess kids, as well as her own, on her so she can be stuck at home, and therefore unable to check up on him, while he goes out tomcatting around town and making even more affair children to dump on her. Because he doesn’t want to pay the consequences of his actions, man up, and be a father—-and I mean an actual father, not just a s***m donor. As far as his parents and their manipulations, you have to remember that they made him and shaped him into the worthless sack of s**t he is, so why would you expect anything different from them?
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
I'm so tired of reading these stories about babies being born from unprotected s*x. Babies don't ask to be born, but they have to deal with the people who brought them into this world. When I was growing up, and unwanted pregnancy was the worst thing that could happen to you, and everyone practiced birth control. What is happening now? Why are so many babies being born right and left with no plan for them? This country desperately needs robust and science based s*x education at every grade level along with parenting classes.
Binky Melnik 2 weeks ago
If only all the women he hits on got migraines from his come-ons, there’d be fewer fatherless children in her state.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 2 weeks ago
Hell to the f k right off NO NO NO NO NO ,op is NOT the ah , the ex is a serial pos cheater , who appears to think HES DONE NOTHING WRONG like what the fresh hell dude , , I’m so glad she got mega tested , cos he gotta be a walking Petri dish of STDs by now , n there by the grace of angels ,she got away with not getting anything off him 14 kids 13 mothers only one his wife , well ex , dam that man is full on low life s c u m , if he was female , she would be a dirty s k an k , why don’t men get a name like that to , pfft ,as for Xmas with in-laws in the word of my 24 yr old daughter ABSOLUTELY NOT !! end of convo over , not happening ! those poor poor kids,being raised by s k an ks is ( not including op obviously) I’m gobsmacked totally , n my flabber has been gasted 😱what a vile inhuman he is ,
Anne Edwards 2 weeks ago
Should they bring it up again, just tell them no. If (when) they push for a reason tell them he's a vile cheating basturd. You might also mention that you don't want to share the use of towels or toilets with him for obvious reasons.
Dusty's mom 2 weeks ago
He. CHEATED. On. Her! He risked her life and the safety of his family. No! No! No! Enough of their delusions. Lay it on the line that there's no way in h*e*l*l she'll ever remarry that cad!
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