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Woman Manages To Ruin Daughter’s Only 2 Wedding Surprises, Livid When Told She’s ‘Used To It’
You know how they say your wedding should be one of the happiest times of your life? Yeah, well, no one mentions the unwritten rule that family drama gets an automatic invite to the planning committee.
Suddenly, your aunt’s cousin’s dog groomer knows what color your bridesmaids should wear, and your mom’s acting like she’s auditioning for “Say Yes to the Dress.”
One bride-to-be found herself dodging wedding spoilers when her parents managed to ruin not one, but two of the biggest surprises in her wedding: the proposal and the dress reveal.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
When you say “yes” to the dress, you don’t expect your parents to say “no” to boundaries
Image credits: Nathan Anderson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One bride-to-be considers skipping the wedding and eloping with her fiancé after her parents ruin her proposal and dress reveal
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman’s fiancé asks her parents for their blessing to propose, but the dad tells the bride about the plan, ruining her surprise
Image credits: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When the fiancé visits, the bride’s mom asks about her veil in front of him, ruining the surprise dress reveal
Image credits: glitterglazegloo
After a half-hearted apology, the woman tells her mom she is used to her ruining her big moments, causing family drama
Our OP (original poster), a US-based bride-to-be, is engaged to her sweetheart, who lives across the pond, in England. Thanks to remote work and frequent flyer miles, their long-distance relationship is actually thriving. Last year, the OP’s fiancé did the classic and respectful thing: he asked her parents for their blessing to propose. Sweet, right?
But then the OP’s dad let it slip in a casual conversation that the proposal would happen before Christmas, 9 months early. So much for the surprise proposal moment she’d dreamed of. Of course, the OP was upset. But instead of understanding, her mom brushed it off and even called her “stupid” for not guessing it would happen around Christmas. Because all proposals must follow the Hallmark holiday schedule, right?
But wait, it gets worse. The OP’s fiancé flew in for a quick visit, and out of literally nowhere, her mom asked if she had picked up her veil from the bridal store, right in front of her fiancé, ruining the surprise. The OP, probably screaming on the inside, snapped back with a simple request: Mom is not allowed to talk about her wedding look—not the dress, the veil, the shoes, not even the nail polish she is planning on wearing.
And what did the mom do? Rolled her eyes and gave a half-hearted apology. Our bride, emotionally drained, hit her breaking point and replied, “It’s fine. I’m used to it.” And mom? Well, she locked herself in her room like a grounded teenager. So, the OP is wondering if she’s a jerk for being upset.
But is she really the bad guy here? Or maybe she is just a bride trying to make the most out of her moment, between eye-rolls, passive-aggressive apologies and having her feelings dismissed by her own mom. Emotional invalidation isn’t just annoying, you know—it can actually damage relationships over time.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Emotional invalidation happens when someone dismisses or undermines your feelings, like they don’t matter, often making you question your own reactions. Repeated invalidation can lead to low self-esteem, emotional suppression, and even anxiety or depression.
It often sounds like “you’re too sensitive” or “you’re overreacting,” and guess what? That doesn’t magically make someone feel better. It just makes them feel small. For brides already dealing with a whole bunch of emotions while planning a wedding, having their hurt minimized can feel like being told to “calm down” while on fire.
Planning a wedding is basically taking on a stressful second job, but with glitter, overpriced flowers, and loads of unsolicited advice. It’s a logistical marathon wrapped in high-stakes emotions that can take a swing at your mental well-being. You’re juggling money, family expectations, decisions by the dozen—and you’re expected to do it all with a smile.
The pros say the best way to keep it from taking over your life is to focus on your must-haves and ignore the rest. Skip obsessing over flatware and put your energy into what actually matters to you. And when it all feels too much? Break the process into smaller chunks, and schedule in self-care on purpose, not just when you hit a wall. Having a backup plan also helps ease anxiety about what could go wrong.
And for our bride, that backup plan is to elope with her future hubby. In an update, the OP shared that she confronted her mom about ruining key wedding surprises and feeling unsupported, but her mom dismissed her concerns, leading the OP to consider eloping in England and putting her mom on a permanent info diet.
What would you have done in the bride’s situation? And seriously, what would you say to someone who ruined your engagement surprise and dress reveal? Drop your thoughts and comments below!
Netizens side with the woman, saying she is not the jerk in this story
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Marcus Aurelius / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: glitterglazegloo
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
My parents are similar. Stop telling them things, they aren't going to change, so you need to act as though they will tell everyone everything, including some wrong info. But stop pretending this isn't a pattern and adjust your behavior or your expectations.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
Mom's jealous. I have absolutely no doubt she got steamrolled on everything about her wedding, and that this is the first one her sisters aren't watching her like a hawk.
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
My parents are similar. Stop telling them things, they aren't going to change, so you need to act as though they will tell everyone everything, including some wrong info. But stop pretending this isn't a pattern and adjust your behavior or your expectations.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
Mom's jealous. I have absolutely no doubt she got steamrolled on everything about her wedding, and that this is the first one her sisters aren't watching her like a hawk.
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