“She Likely Voted Against Her Rights”: 54 Times Cringy People Thought They Were Being Cool

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the spotlight every once in a while. It’s okay to be the center of attention, take on leadership roles, or celebrate your achievements. What’s not okay, and where it starts getting toxic, is when that confidence turns into “main character syndrome.”

This is when people start treating the real world like a film set, and feel they’re the protagonist of the story while other people in their lives are just supporting characters.

The syndrome is not a clinical diagnosis, but a term that originated on social media quite recently.

While the general idea of some people being full of themselves is as old as time, the phrase “main character energy” went viral around early 2020 on TikTok.

It started with users romanticizing their own lives during the COVID-19 lockdowns. People would film themselves doing mundane things, like walking through a grocery store or sitting on a train, while playing cinematic music in the background. And of course, they would share the clips on social media.

The trend is a “means of repositioning and recontextualizing your identity to feel more empowered and to become the centre of your own story. Becoming your own protagonist speaks to the way that younger generations self-narrativize, particularly given the tools at their disposal: a front-facing camera,” says Olivia Yallop, director of the youth-focused marketing agency the Digital Fairy.

A big part of main character syndrome is also the constant need to observe and present yourself as if you’re always being watched. It’s “perpetual self-surveillance… Main characters can’t exist without an audience,” Yallop adds.

Today, the term is mostly used to mock people who act delusional. It’s no longer about romanticizing your morning coffee, it’s more about that person blocking an entire sidewalk to film a fit check. Or the guy who thinks a busy restaurant is the perfect place for his loud FaceTime call.

People with this kind of behavior might put their own needs, opinions, and goals above everyone else’s.

Experts say these individuals often have a huge sense of superiority, but they completely misread how they are actually perceived by others.

You don’t have to be a clinical narcissist to catch a case of main character syndrome. The social media culture encourages many to document their lives and treat their day-to-day like a movie. For some, it may just be a way to deal with stress, anxiety, or insecurities.

But it definitely becomes a problem when it leads to chronic selfishness or manipulating others. Experts believe that if someone is constantly obsessed with power and putting others down to feel important, it might be a sign of deeper narcissistic traits that need professional help

People usually boast about their money and success because they’re trying to build an image in a world that feels incredibly crowded. Experts say this often stems from deep-seated insecurity. By flashing a high salary or a big achievement, some people are looking for the external validation they can’t give themselves.

On dating apps, especially, it’s a shortcut to prove competence and value to total strangers. While they think they’re looking impressive, research shows most people actually find this “hubris” annoying and a sign of low empathy.

“Bragging, even when in conjunction with other forms of sharing, was related to more undesirable traits… Individuals who tended to brag when they shared their positive events were more likely to be men, reported less agreeableness, less conscientiousness, and less empathy, whereas those who tended to brag and mass-share reported the highest levels of narcissism,” a study found.

Context is everything. It’s perfectly fine to list your wins on a professional site such as LinkedIn, where people expect to see them. But it’s a total cringe move to bring that same energy into your personal life.

For example, bragging about their six-figure salary on a first date or mentioning their job title while arguing with someone at a grocery store can make one look desperate for attention.

This main character energy is especially obvious when people try to use gender stereotypes to boost their ego. The “I’m not like other girls” trope or the guys who make “alpha male” their entire personality. Both are usually a reaction to old-school gender roles or patriarchy.

When a girl goes out of her way to brag that she hates pink, doesn’t wear makeup, or only hangs out with the boys because girls are “too much drama,” she’s basically saying that feminine things aren’t as cool or valuable. It’s called internalized misogyny. Ostracizing yourself from other girls is a way of declaring that you are better than them.

The same thing happens with men who feel the need to act like aggressive tough guys. They’re terrified of showing any emotion or weakness because they’ve been told that being anything less than a dominant alpha is a failure.

The irony is that both groups are just trying to fit into a mold to feel superior.

We’re all guilty of wanting to be the star of our own show, because it’s human nature to want to feel important. But there’s a difference between living a life you love and performing a life for an audience.

When we’re too busy trying to look like a main character, we might stop being a good friend, a considerate neighbor, or a decent partner.