Mom Gets Back At Homophobic MIL By Dressing Her Baby Girl In Blue Every Time She Visits
Babies grow out of clothes quickly, so many parents only buy what they need. They choose items that are easy to put on and take off, comfortable to wear, and easy to wash.
However, Reddit user F0restghost‘s mother-in-law thinks she should also dress her daughter according to her gender.
In her post on the subreddit ‘Two Hot Takes,’ the mom explained that this started when the lady noticed her little girl in blue. Because, you know, it’s reserved for boys.
This woman got into an argument with her mother-in-law over her baby girl’s clothes
Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)
As the lady believes that certain colors will make the girl grow up to be a lesbian
Image credits: nanihta (not the actual photo)
Image credits: StudioPeace (not the actual photo)
Image credits: F0restghost
Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum believes that dressing a certain way alone has no bearing on your child’s personality
Image credits: honestmum.com
To get a better understanding of what it takes to dress up your child, we contacted our parenting expert and author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada), Vicki Broadbent.
“I have two boys and a girl, and I’ve found dress choices over the years (my daughter is almost 2, my eldest son is 13) have mostly been limited to either pink or blue on the high street,” Broadbent, who runs the family, food, style, and travel blog Honest Mum, told Bored Panda.
“I’ve had to seek out brands online for more varied colors, prints, and styles for all of my kids (every color of the rainbow should be available for every child, and shouldn’t be gender-specific in my book) and I do love neutral tones too, especially for babies when white and cream clothes tend to stay that way for longer (everything gets stained quickly once kids start to wean/ eat more food).”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to dress your baby or child in more traditional colors as it were, but often it’s more out of lack of choice than wanting to subscribe to some gender-specific notion that blue is for boys and pink is for girls,” Broadbent added.
The mother believes that “dressing a certain way has no bearing on your child’s personality, identity, and future sexuality nor that it should matter who they identify as, or are attracted to as an adult, anyway.” And science agrees with her.
The lady shouldn’t be concerned with her granddaughter’s sexuality
Image credits: Bob Jenkin (not the actual photo)
Across cultures, 2% to 10% of people report having same-sex relations. In the US, 1% to 2.2% of women and men, respectively, identify as gay.
Despite these numbers, many people, including F0restghost’s mother-in-law, still have a flawed understanding of sexuality.
Biologists have documented homosexual behavior in more than 450 species.
In a 2019 issue of Science magazine, geneticist Andrea Ganna at the Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard, and colleagues, described the largest survey to date for genes associated with same-sex behavior. By analyzing the DNA of nearly half a million people from the U.S. and the U.K., they concluded that genes account for between 8% and 25% of same-sex behavior.
Molecular biologist Bill Sullivan says that “sexual behavior is widely diverse and governed by sophisticated mechanisms throughout the animal kingdom. As with other complex behaviors, it is not possible to predict sexuality by gazing into a DNA sequence as if it were a crystal ball. Such behaviors emerge from constellations of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of genes, and how they are regulated by the environment.”
Not from wearing the wrong color.
While there is no single ‘gay gene,’ there is overwhelming evidence of a biological basis for sexual orientation that is programmed into the brain before birth, based on a mix of genetics and prenatal conditions, none of which the fetus chooses.
In-law relationships are tricky
Image credits: Brett Sayles (not the actual photo)
Vicki Broadbent thinks that keeping the peace with your in-laws is a tricky balance — you have to show respect to family members whilst maintaining boundaries. This includes stating your own wishes and sticking to them on how to name and raise your child too.
“The operative word is ‘your’. This is not your in-laws’ child, this is your child, however close they might feel they are to the baby, you are in charge and need to be firm about that from the start,” Broadbent highlighted. “You must find a way to be kind but firm. Your in-laws must respect your wishes and ways of doing things when it comes to your own child if they want to remain an active part of all of your lives.”
One of the reasons why navigating in-law relationships can be tricky is the fact that there is no rulebook for them.
A factor that could contribute to the prevalence of female in-law tension in particular is child-rearing, and its disproportionate impact on women, which could potentially compound any pre-existing conflict.
During the early child-rearing period, new moms and their mothers-in-law may well have more frequent contact than before. “When pregnant, breastfeeding, and caring for a young baby, mothers are faced with a challenging time and need extra support,” explains Gretchen Perry, professor at the University of Canterbury, New Zealand, and co-author of the paper In-Law Relationships in Evolutionary Perspective: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Although a new mother’s partner and father-in-law also help, it’s often her own mother and mother-in-law who try to provide the most robust support. Plus, child-rearing is an emotive topic that comes with a plethora of generational differences, and with a mother-in-law expecting to have her grandchild raised one way and an exhausted mom adamant about doing some things differently, the conditions are set for disagreements.
But people who read the story still think that the lady has no business “teaching” the mom how to dress her daughter
jokes on her the only colour i wore in childhood was pink and i'm lesbian :p
And also wasn't the colours in the past the opposite? Don't know if true but read it here on BP. 🙂
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Next time MIL is over she should dress baby all in black: "doctor's orders, we had her tested and she's a goth, ohhh well!"
I wish I could give you an award! In the absence of one, please take my upvote! ✔️😂😂😂
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My little nephew was given a baby doll (which I'm told he instantly rushed over to and cuddled), a tea set, a lot of other cooking related toys, dressups including fire fighter, dinosaurs and pretty skirts, and his dad has taught him all about professional football while Grandad has introduced him to boats. The result? A sweet and sensitive little boy who chose to dress up as a fairy for this year's book week parade, who challenged me to a football match on the lawn and won, who is fascinated by boats and dinosaurs, and who absolutely dotes on his baby sister. In other words he clearly enjoys traditionally masculine things but isn't being made to think it's shameful to like cooking and nice clothes and parenthood. One day that kid is going to be a fine man. Unlike the MIL in this story, who isn't a fine *anything* and needs to be dropped headfirst into a pit of rabid slugs.
This tracks. My absolute favorite color up until middle school was blue. Pretty sure that's what turned me bisexual. Or maybe it was all of the cat decorations.
I hate it when I put on blue frilly dress and suddenly turn into a guy.
Happens every day! So annoying, and the only way to fix it is to put on a pink frilly dress and high heels!
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MIL doesn’t realise that pointless rendering - like pink clothes for girls and blue clothes for boys - can contribute to gender dysphoria, as can her overall attitude. In MIL’s world if you don’t like pink you’re not a girl. So maybe you’re a boy trapped in a girl’s body?
Not to mention, a hundred years ago, the cool etherial blue was for the tender girls, while pink was a boys' colour, a watered-down-for-kids version of blood and honour and war and all that macho c**p
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I can't help to think that if phobes and conservatives weren't such gender cops that fewer people would feel the need to be trans in order to be accepted for how they feel.
I've often thought the same. A lot of people would probably feel alot more comfortable in the body they were born with if there weren't such restrictive ideas about how a girl or a boy should dress. A coworker recently couldn't get over how another coworker's 10 year old was a boy just because the kid had long hair. Children are literally crammed into distinctive identity boxes by overtly "marking" their gender with hair, clothes and toys.
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This whole pink and blue business has gone completely overboard decades ago but I can't believe there are idiots out there who think the colour of a kid's clothes can change their sexual orientation!!
People are easily tricked by an obvious marketing gimmick. As others have pointed out, it used to be pink for boys and blue for girls. And back in the day, kids were dressed in a unisex way until they got older. Probably because textile factories were still kicking off. Also, blue is a super common color for women who are lawyers or in other professions where they have to dress in formal clothes.
Load More Replies... NTA and I kinda love the pettiness. The passive aggressive in me would probably make sure your daughter has toy trucks and construction tools to play with But on the long term side, I think you realize this woman cannot have one second of unsupervised access to children. The amount of damage she can do is enormous. I mean if her son is afraid to deal with her, what chance does a kid have. Good Luck
I am growing up with people like this. Every SINGLE year, she gives me expensive jewelry and dolls. I donated or gave away most of the stuff, because I don’t like those things. She said if I’m not girly enough, I’ll become “one of those homosexuals.” Well, she was right…but not because of the toys I played with! It’s just how I am. Now I dress with as much rainbow stuff as possible (but only when I see her) just to make her mad :)
I f*****g hate these stupid AITA - it's either rage bait garbage or, as is the case here, "look what I did and am so proud of! Reaffirm me and compliment me!!!"
If you hate them, then why read them then feel the need to comment about it?
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Can we take a moment to admire all the Disney Princesses that wear Blue? Cinderella, Jasmine, Elsa and Anna , Snow White, Merida... in fact, do any of them, besides Sleeping Beauty and maybe rapunzel (though she might be purple) actually wear pink? Ariels human dress was also blue, Tiana and Belle wore yellow and Moana and Pocahontas wear their native dress. hm. Also, I wore pink and had barbies and all that stuff as a kid and I turned out Lesbian lmao.
She'd have a field day with my son, his favourite colour is "rainbow". Fortunately his grandparents only care that he's happy and healthy.
My son's current favorite color is also rainbow.
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ah yes, i liked both colors. perhaps that's why i'm bi.
As a homosexual transgender, its very useful to finally have this completely rational and scientific explanation from MIL as to why I am homosexual and transgender
I was an extreme girly girl up until middle school, I’m non-binary now
Guess your mil will was dressed in brown when she was a baby, and grew up to be a piece of 💩
I mean really? Who honestly believes that the color of clothing that a baby wears decides that child's gender and sexuality? That's even more absurd than thinking that an infant's genitals determine their gender.
I actually like blue but don't mind wearing pink once in a while, considering I have one or two pink shirts (one formal one, even). So, is OP's MIL gonna have an epilepsy when she sees this straight man wear a pink T-shirt or some softer tone colours? Well, guess I know what I'll be wearing for the rest of the day then... XD
Interesting. Out of my three kids--two of them born male both love the color pink. Actually, one of my boys always said his favorite color was pink or rainbow. Now he just likes pink, and the other has moved on to purple. My other kid? The one who loves the color green, she's trans. It's almost as if liking a color has nothing at all to do with sexual preferences or gender identity. Wow! This also reminds me of my homophobic dad who was mortified that I let my one son have a Dora the Explorer themed birthday when he was 3, and I bought him a dollhouse for Christmas that year. My dad was worried I was "turning him gay." My other son loved costume jewelry, and went through a princess phase--because a character he liked was a princess. Both of those kids are now 20, and 16--straight, cis men. Yep, it was the other kid who never was into dolls, or princesses, or jewelry that is trans.
People like this are EVIL and against education in any form! They enjoy their hatred and ignorance and dislike those smarter and nicer. This straight girl loves blue and jeans and tshirts and sneakers. And football and racing.
The cloths color is a bit silly. Everyone knows that literate drag queens cause children to "turn". I am sure i would be straight is i hadn't watched "Some like it Hot" with Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon with my mother.
Brilliant film! Excuse if I misremember, but something along the lines of "Heck, Osgood, I'm a man! Well, nobody's perfect"
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Poking a bigot might seem righteous, but it's an empty goal. Either confront her or avoid contact. You don't get points for just pissing her off because her views are wildly outdated. Do something or ditch. Your child deserves a good reason for either being in or out of her life.
Dress the husband in pink (or other suitably floral outfits) and herself in blue's or maybe manly lumberjack style flannels the next time the mother is coming over. Really make her brain fry. Bonus points if you can convince other friends or family to get in on the game as well.
She might consider switching her daughter's wardrobe to one that's very heavily rainbowed, and say, "You know, I've been thinking about what you said about my dressing her in blue so I've decided to give her all the colors at once." It would likely cause a cranial combustion.
Husband is a coward for not saying and doing more and allowing this to continue to go on.
Our daughter's clothes was mostly from friends who recently had kids, and they mostly had boys. So for the first year or two of her life, she not only wore mostly blue, but also mostly boy's clothes. Maybe that's why she's LGBTQ? Since I love who she is, and she was adorable in blue, 10/10 would do it again.
MIL is a raving idiot. I wore nutruals - and mostly blue - since I was a child. As far a mom (R.I.P.) saw what colors I seemed to prefer, that's what most of my clothes were. In my 3rd grade picture I'm wearing a blue ginham dress. Guess what? I'm 100% straight. As someone pointed out, it wasn't that long ago that pink was for boys.
you know what's girly. LOTs and LOT's of... RAINBOWS!!!.... well done to the mother for not blowing her top i think.
One of my kiddos used to walk on his toes up until the age of 5. This concerned FIL greatly. Told him like me, kiddo has high foot arches and it's more comfortable for him to walk that way sometimes. This seemed to alleviate his fears. I made that up, but we both do have very high arches.
Pink are blue are so specific. What about red? Yellow? Black? Orange? Do those fall into gender stereotypes too? I'm so confused.
Pink became popular in one circumstance that I'm aware of: British soldiers of the Red Coats period. Red dyed wool used in their uniforms would fade over time. Pink was the colour of most of the veterans who'd been in uniform for a few decades. The Sergeant-Majors and such. It was a badge of courage, survivability and pride.
I read the first sentence (the question) and realized this story is just for clickbait. Like, who cares what color your dress your kid as? (Not necessarily saying the story isn’t true, just saying that there’s no possible way she could be TA)
Well the fact that the MIL is homophobic doesn't make OP less TA. Petty, childish, stupid. Using the baby to make MIL mad. She doesn't want to change MIL's thinking, she just wants to annoy her. Many years ago my parents didn't let my younger brother play with dolls or wear anything "girly", they were saying to him "Are you gay or something". He actually heard this so many times that he wasn't sure what is he. He experimented and ended up in really bad place. Today I have 2 girls and 1 boy between them. I allow my boy to play with the dolls (the same way I support my oldest daughter to play with Lego and cars). I let him try dresses in a game, be Elsa, put a hairband. As parents we have limited time to change the world for better ans don't make the mistakes our parents made. I would definitely speak to MIL if I was in OP's place and let her know this way of speaking is not allowed in our presence. The same way I have forbidden my mother ans MIL to use the word gypsy in bad context.
Funny thing is, that it was the opposite in the past. Pink was considered the color for boys several centuries ago (although it was probably not the Barbie pink, still pink though), because it was like diluted red, symbolizing bravery (and only a confident man would dare to wear pink now), while blue, as a color of fidelity, was the color for girls.
Ugh! Remember, that awful budlight beer in the US has lost a lot of costumers and a lot of money because of that freak they put in their "advertising"
Yea this is fake. People just trying to make stuff up so they can pretend all those homophobes are out to destroy us 😱
TIL that homophobes aren't real, no one polices colors, and it's safe and comfortable to be openly lgbtq
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Dude there’s nothing wrong with having a kink but I think this might not be the best post to share it on…
Load More Replies... jokes on her the only colour i wore in childhood was pink and i'm lesbian :p
And also wasn't the colours in the past the opposite? Don't know if true but read it here on BP. 🙂
Load More Replies... Next time MIL is over she should dress baby all in black: "doctor's orders, we had her tested and she's a goth, ohhh well!"
I wish I could give you an award! In the absence of one, please take my upvote! ✔️😂😂😂
Load More Replies... My little nephew was given a baby doll (which I'm told he instantly rushed over to and cuddled), a tea set, a lot of other cooking related toys, dressups including fire fighter, dinosaurs and pretty skirts, and his dad has taught him all about professional football while Grandad has introduced him to boats. The result? A sweet and sensitive little boy who chose to dress up as a fairy for this year's book week parade, who challenged me to a football match on the lawn and won, who is fascinated by boats and dinosaurs, and who absolutely dotes on his baby sister. In other words he clearly enjoys traditionally masculine things but isn't being made to think it's shameful to like cooking and nice clothes and parenthood. One day that kid is going to be a fine man. Unlike the MIL in this story, who isn't a fine *anything* and needs to be dropped headfirst into a pit of rabid slugs.
This tracks. My absolute favorite color up until middle school was blue. Pretty sure that's what turned me bisexual. Or maybe it was all of the cat decorations.
I hate it when I put on blue frilly dress and suddenly turn into a guy.
Happens every day! So annoying, and the only way to fix it is to put on a pink frilly dress and high heels!
Load More Replies... MIL doesn’t realise that pointless rendering - like pink clothes for girls and blue clothes for boys - can contribute to gender dysphoria, as can her overall attitude. In MIL’s world if you don’t like pink you’re not a girl. So maybe you’re a boy trapped in a girl’s body?
Not to mention, a hundred years ago, the cool etherial blue was for the tender girls, while pink was a boys' colour, a watered-down-for-kids version of blood and honour and war and all that macho c**p
Load More Replies... I can't help to think that if phobes and conservatives weren't such gender cops that fewer people would feel the need to be trans in order to be accepted for how they feel.
I've often thought the same. A lot of people would probably feel alot more comfortable in the body they were born with if there weren't such restrictive ideas about how a girl or a boy should dress. A coworker recently couldn't get over how another coworker's 10 year old was a boy just because the kid had long hair. Children are literally crammed into distinctive identity boxes by overtly "marking" their gender with hair, clothes and toys.
Load More Replies... This whole pink and blue business has gone completely overboard decades ago but I can't believe there are idiots out there who think the colour of a kid's clothes can change their sexual orientation!!
People are easily tricked by an obvious marketing gimmick. As others have pointed out, it used to be pink for boys and blue for girls. And back in the day, kids were dressed in a unisex way until they got older. Probably because textile factories were still kicking off. Also, blue is a super common color for women who are lawyers or in other professions where they have to dress in formal clothes.
Load More Replies... NTA and I kinda love the pettiness. The passive aggressive in me would probably make sure your daughter has toy trucks and construction tools to play with But on the long term side, I think you realize this woman cannot have one second of unsupervised access to children. The amount of damage she can do is enormous. I mean if her son is afraid to deal with her, what chance does a kid have. Good Luck
I am growing up with people like this. Every SINGLE year, she gives me expensive jewelry and dolls. I donated or gave away most of the stuff, because I don’t like those things. She said if I’m not girly enough, I’ll become “one of those homosexuals.” Well, she was right…but not because of the toys I played with! It’s just how I am. Now I dress with as much rainbow stuff as possible (but only when I see her) just to make her mad :)
I f*****g hate these stupid AITA - it's either rage bait garbage or, as is the case here, "look what I did and am so proud of! Reaffirm me and compliment me!!!"
If you hate them, then why read them then feel the need to comment about it?
Load More Replies... Can we take a moment to admire all the Disney Princesses that wear Blue? Cinderella, Jasmine, Elsa and Anna , Snow White, Merida... in fact, do any of them, besides Sleeping Beauty and maybe rapunzel (though she might be purple) actually wear pink? Ariels human dress was also blue, Tiana and Belle wore yellow and Moana and Pocahontas wear their native dress. hm. Also, I wore pink and had barbies and all that stuff as a kid and I turned out Lesbian lmao.
She'd have a field day with my son, his favourite colour is "rainbow". Fortunately his grandparents only care that he's happy and healthy.
My son's current favorite color is also rainbow.
Load More Replies... ah yes, i liked both colors. perhaps that's why i'm bi.
As a homosexual transgender, its very useful to finally have this completely rational and scientific explanation from MIL as to why I am homosexual and transgender
I was an extreme girly girl up until middle school, I’m non-binary now
Guess your mil will was dressed in brown when she was a baby, and grew up to be a piece of 💩
I mean really? Who honestly believes that the color of clothing that a baby wears decides that child's gender and sexuality? That's even more absurd than thinking that an infant's genitals determine their gender.
I actually like blue but don't mind wearing pink once in a while, considering I have one or two pink shirts (one formal one, even). So, is OP's MIL gonna have an epilepsy when she sees this straight man wear a pink T-shirt or some softer tone colours? Well, guess I know what I'll be wearing for the rest of the day then... XD
Interesting. Out of my three kids--two of them born male both love the color pink. Actually, one of my boys always said his favorite color was pink or rainbow. Now he just likes pink, and the other has moved on to purple. My other kid? The one who loves the color green, she's trans. It's almost as if liking a color has nothing at all to do with sexual preferences or gender identity. Wow! This also reminds me of my homophobic dad who was mortified that I let my one son have a Dora the Explorer themed birthday when he was 3, and I bought him a dollhouse for Christmas that year. My dad was worried I was "turning him gay." My other son loved costume jewelry, and went through a princess phase--because a character he liked was a princess. Both of those kids are now 20, and 16--straight, cis men. Yep, it was the other kid who never was into dolls, or princesses, or jewelry that is trans.
People like this are EVIL and against education in any form! They enjoy their hatred and ignorance and dislike those smarter and nicer. This straight girl loves blue and jeans and tshirts and sneakers. And football and racing.
The cloths color is a bit silly. Everyone knows that literate drag queens cause children to "turn". I am sure i would be straight is i hadn't watched "Some like it Hot" with Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon with my mother.
Brilliant film! Excuse if I misremember, but something along the lines of "Heck, Osgood, I'm a man! Well, nobody's perfect"
Load More Replies... Poking a bigot might seem righteous, but it's an empty goal. Either confront her or avoid contact. You don't get points for just pissing her off because her views are wildly outdated. Do something or ditch. Your child deserves a good reason for either being in or out of her life.
Dress the husband in pink (or other suitably floral outfits) and herself in blue's or maybe manly lumberjack style flannels the next time the mother is coming over. Really make her brain fry. Bonus points if you can convince other friends or family to get in on the game as well.
She might consider switching her daughter's wardrobe to one that's very heavily rainbowed, and say, "You know, I've been thinking about what you said about my dressing her in blue so I've decided to give her all the colors at once." It would likely cause a cranial combustion.
Husband is a coward for not saying and doing more and allowing this to continue to go on.
Our daughter's clothes was mostly from friends who recently had kids, and they mostly had boys. So for the first year or two of her life, she not only wore mostly blue, but also mostly boy's clothes. Maybe that's why she's LGBTQ? Since I love who she is, and she was adorable in blue, 10/10 would do it again.
MIL is a raving idiot. I wore nutruals - and mostly blue - since I was a child. As far a mom (R.I.P.) saw what colors I seemed to prefer, that's what most of my clothes were. In my 3rd grade picture I'm wearing a blue ginham dress. Guess what? I'm 100% straight. As someone pointed out, it wasn't that long ago that pink was for boys.
you know what's girly. LOTs and LOT's of... RAINBOWS!!!.... well done to the mother for not blowing her top i think.
One of my kiddos used to walk on his toes up until the age of 5. This concerned FIL greatly. Told him like me, kiddo has high foot arches and it's more comfortable for him to walk that way sometimes. This seemed to alleviate his fears. I made that up, but we both do have very high arches.
Pink are blue are so specific. What about red? Yellow? Black? Orange? Do those fall into gender stereotypes too? I'm so confused.
Pink became popular in one circumstance that I'm aware of: British soldiers of the Red Coats period. Red dyed wool used in their uniforms would fade over time. Pink was the colour of most of the veterans who'd been in uniform for a few decades. The Sergeant-Majors and such. It was a badge of courage, survivability and pride.
I read the first sentence (the question) and realized this story is just for clickbait. Like, who cares what color your dress your kid as? (Not necessarily saying the story isn’t true, just saying that there’s no possible way she could be TA)
Well the fact that the MIL is homophobic doesn't make OP less TA. Petty, childish, stupid. Using the baby to make MIL mad. She doesn't want to change MIL's thinking, she just wants to annoy her. Many years ago my parents didn't let my younger brother play with dolls or wear anything "girly", they were saying to him "Are you gay or something". He actually heard this so many times that he wasn't sure what is he. He experimented and ended up in really bad place. Today I have 2 girls and 1 boy between them. I allow my boy to play with the dolls (the same way I support my oldest daughter to play with Lego and cars). I let him try dresses in a game, be Elsa, put a hairband. As parents we have limited time to change the world for better ans don't make the mistakes our parents made. I would definitely speak to MIL if I was in OP's place and let her know this way of speaking is not allowed in our presence. The same way I have forbidden my mother ans MIL to use the word gypsy in bad context.
Funny thing is, that it was the opposite in the past. Pink was considered the color for boys several centuries ago (although it was probably not the Barbie pink, still pink though), because it was like diluted red, symbolizing bravery (and only a confident man would dare to wear pink now), while blue, as a color of fidelity, was the color for girls.
Ugh! Remember, that awful budlight beer in the US has lost a lot of costumers and a lot of money because of that freak they put in their "advertising"
Yea this is fake. People just trying to make stuff up so they can pretend all those homophobes are out to destroy us 😱
TIL that homophobes aren't real, no one polices colors, and it's safe and comfortable to be openly lgbtq
Load More Replies... Dude there’s nothing wrong with having a kink but I think this might not be the best post to share it on…
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